“It’s an order,” Jie said. “Just because you’ve had hundreds of them doesn’t mean a little celebration isn’t in order. Our lady has returned.”
“It’s lovely out,” I said. “You shouldn’t spend the trip in the hotel room.”
“Well.” He stood up, stretching his long arms behind him. “If you wish it, Tulip, in that case…” He walked closer to me. “You seem more eager than usual.”
No kidding. I wanted hands on me. I wanted more kissing. I wanted…everything. All thanks to Thom’s teasing.
Or maybe it was possible that Thom just stirred things in me that were already there.
“You must be feeling proud of yourself,” Rayner said. “Getting into the fight is good for you. But you have never been one to sit on your laurels… As for dinner, the guys suggested a seafood restaurant. Do you like seafood?”
“You can’t eat!”
“I’ll have a cocktail. And maybe a snack on the beach later…”
“Oh…” I leaned into the possessive hand that stroked my neck and shoulder before settling at my waist. I had thrown a thin wrap dress over the bikini, the fabric sheer enough to reveal my curves, while Rayner still looked very put-together in a linen shirt and trousers, and a brimmed hat, too. He was carrying a beach blanket rolled up under his arm, offered with a sly grin from Thom.
More and more I was noticing how Rayner and Silvus didn’t sit well with the modern world. They tried to blend in well enough but they had given up on making it theirs. In Ulf’s elegant home, with everyone beautifully dressed and dancing, they could step outside of time. Rayner reached the doorway of the seafood restaurant, packed with humans, with rock music playing in the background, and turned me away.
“Let’s find something quiet,” he said.
We walked for a while, Rayner taking my hand and asking if we were walking too long. I shook my head. “I’ve always walked everywhere.”
We ended up a little bar that wasn’t too busy. They didn’t have meals, just appetizer fare, but that was fine with me. I was happy to just sit out under the moonlight.
“I do feel different here…”
“It used to be your home,” Rayner said. “You always seem to love the places you once called home.” We had just gotten our drinks and he lifted his. “To Ulf,” he said. “On my birthday. He was a friend to all of us. But…I have you, Tulip. At least…I pray that I do.” His expression was as possessive as his touch. It was clear to me by now, that Rayner’s quest for me had kept him going all these centuries.
“Do you think you’ll be satisfied if you have me?” I asked.
“Of course. How could you even wonder such a thing? You are the only thing I have ever wanted.”
“But I’m just a girl. I’m not really special.”
“To me, you are more special than any gem, any sunset, any great city…anything.” He took my hand and gave it a soft kiss.
“I’m afraid I might disappoint you, when you can’t chase me anymore.”
“I don’t want to chase you. I want to be with you.”
“So we can live together forever?”
“Of course. Anywhere you like. We can travel to all of our houses and you can pick the one you like best. Or we could buy a new one.”
Maybe I’m the one who wants more than that.
There was no doubt that my feelings for the clan were real now, that it wouldn’t be easy for me to turn away even if I had other ambitions for myself. But I had also seen the human world, and met a few real witches too. I was happiest when I wasn’t just living for myself. I had my own goal—to save my sisters. But I didn’t just want to save them from Father Joshua. I would have to take care of them into their own adulthood. They had no one else but me now.
“What are you thinking to have a troubled look on your face?” Rayner asked.
“I suppose I’m afraid you won’t want to help me raise Joan.” I finally voiced the worry in the back of my mind.
His eyes widened slightly. “Of course I would!”
“But we’ve never had a baby, and babies are not romantic. They scream and they don’t sleep and they interrupt things, and…well…I think your idea of me is very romantic. I’m not sure you know what babies are even like.”
“Alissa…” He was still holding my hand, the drinks abandoned while the female bartender kept glancing our way and giving me a that’s-so-romantic smile between her other orders. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be your husband, and for you to be my wife. And when we met, we both knew what that meant. A little home of our own…and a lot of hard work…and babies. A crib beside our own bed…no sleep…coming home to you…that would have been enough. We would have been long in our graves by now, and so would all of our children, and I often think, that is still my dream. I will be a father to Joan…and Carrie…if you’ll let me.”
“Rayner…” My eyes filled with happy tears. I could see the raw honesty in his face and I knew he would love Carrie and Joan like I did. Now I drew closer to him and he took my face in his hands and kissed my mouth, and I’m sure it was only all the modesty drummed deep into my head that kept me from climbing onto his lap.
My tongue dove into his as we kissed, wanting more, and he slowly drew away and gave me a sly look.
“You are so very wet,” he said. “I would rather have you than this cocktail.”
“You may.”
“I may? Oh, yes, I may indeed. Eat your grilled shrimp things…and we’ll go.”
We walked father down the beach—walked for quite a long time. I idly wondered how we would get home, as it was getting darker and darker. My feet were getting tired but they didn’t bother me. Rayner told me stories of our early days together, simple stories of a lost button, and a meeting on a bridge, and a rival boy who vied for my affection. When he spoke I could envision the candlelit world, the small dramas of one particular neighborhood in Amsterdam hundreds of years ago, and the real world started to seem like it was the dream and if I closed my eyes and wished, we could go back to where we started.
And then I would remember that I didn’t really want to go back there. I couldn’t. I still had my family here to save, and I wasn’t Lisbeth anymore.
“It has been so long since we walked hand-in-hand for hours,” he said.
“Oh? How long?”
“Probably around 1780…”
We finally found a quiet beach, and he unfurled the blanket. I shivered a little. He put his arms around me.
“You’re not warm either!”
He muttered a curse. “Let me pretend, tonight, that it is all as it once was.”
“Maybe…it’s time to stop pretending,” I said.
“We were so happy, then.”
“What if we thought about the future? Just the future? Not to forget who we’ve been, but…what could we do together?”
One strong arm propped him up as he gazed at me, and I looked down at that arm, the solid muscles and veins, to the hand that had always held me. The wind whipped at his collar, and he kept brushing strands of hair off my face, uselessly. “Ulf did say to me…”
“Hmm?”
“He didn’t say so explicitly. I’m sure he knew I would refuse if he did. But I know he was hoping I would be his successor. That’s why he gave his house to me, and not his clan. He reminded me that you were always a good host, and you liked a house full of people.”
“You mean—that whole house? We would live there? And Alice could come visit? We could have dances there?” I thought about my sisters running around, growing up around vampires and thralls, and bit my lip. “Well…maybe not right away.”
“When we were together before—just before I became a vampire, Tulip…you were with child.”
“Oh!? We had a child? Or—“
“We did have a child,” he said. “We did. And we were so happy. It was an accident, obviously. We didn’t mean to have a child out of wedlock, but then, I was unable to have a child and we were both very happy. I took you to London
right then and there, to protect her from the witches and warlocks in Amsterdam. Thankfully you handled the voyage very well. And she was so beautiful. We both protected her like she was the greatest treasure in the world. You were making her little clothes all the time. We had a little dog that made her laugh. I was home from the shop when she took her first steps.” He stopped. The grief was too much.
He didn’t even have to tell me the end of this story.
My heart seized. I had never guessed. When I died, our shared sorrow died too, I thought. I ached for him. I could see us holding one another, numb with pain. There would not be another child.
“What was her name?”
“Elizabeth. We called her Betje.” He shook his head. “I brought you here to make love to you and instead I am telling you the saddest of stories.”
“No…” I stroked his face. “It’s one thing for my body to crave you. It’s another to love you.” My arms slipped around his neck and he leaned down, kissing me slow and deep.
I was so glad he had told me all of this. It was what I needed. To chase a girl all over the world was one thing, but now I understood—he was not just chasing his youthful sweetheart. He was chasing a family. A memory that no one else would understand or share.
It made me want him more than ever before, and as we kissed, my need rushed back in more potently than ever before. His hands caressed me, and I could feel how sharing this memory meant something to him. I felt I was face to face with my husband, a man who missed me terribly, had shared so much with me—and would do anything for me.
I melted into his touch, my skin hot and willing. Our kisses seemed to span five hundred years of love and heartbreak. Lisbeth…Li Mei…Bertie…
But more than anything, this life I was living right now.
We can do anything together, I thought.
I felt his throbbing shaft press against my bathing suit bottom and neither of us could wait any longer. He bunched the sheer skirt of my wrap and peeled down the bikini.
“Oh, now I see what Thom was up to.” Rayner laughed a little. “No wonder…I have never seen a tulip with so much nectar.” He slid down and his tongue met my throbbing center, dipping between my cleft and teasing the clip.
“Oh god…” My back arched like a rainbow as electric sensation shot through me. He could hardly have licked me clean if he tried; I was just getting more and more wet. His fangs came to the surface and he gave my clit a sharp little nibble.
I exploded into an orgasm so potent that my screams were completely wild, but luckily the sea wind carried them away. Not that there was anyone around right now.
“Not a bad way to begin,” he said.
He gathered me back into his arms and kissed my neck. “Only a small taste,” he said. “I will save your blood for Silvus.”
I realized how much I craved that hot little pain and the ecstasy that followed. It was easy to see how dangerous vampires could be without learning control, because at that moment I would have let him bite me all over and drain me dry, but of course, I also trusted him, and although he grunted with satisfaction at the small taste, that was all he took before he stopped and licked the wounds shut.
But that level of control also made him more frenzied to take me other ways, and once he stopped tasting my blood, he unbuttoned his clothes almost frantically.
His hands slid up my arms, his hands encircling mine over my head, our eyes locked tenderly, as his cock easily found entrance. He gave me one more tender kiss before he started fucking me with deep, hard strokes that would surely leave me bruised again, every aching step reminding me of how he had used me, and my legs fell open, wanting more despite the consequences. Thom’s wicked little clip was still there, the hot pressure building inside me again, spiraling through me, until Rayner and I were coming at the same time, gasping and grunting and crying out to the moon and stars like animals in heat. I certainly hoped there were no little houses tucked in the greenery.
But then, what did I really care?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Rayner
I should have brought the cell phone, I thought, as we walked down a dark sidewalk, passing by restaurants and shops that were all closed for the night. I should have planned all of this a little better.
It was so easy just to walk with her forever, like we used to do, in the beginning. But, in this case, I had exhausted her completely and she should have just been sleeping it off.
She yawned heavily, her fingers increasingly limp in my grip. “Is that our hotel up ahead?” she asked.
It wasn’t. “That’s it,” I said. “I’m carrying you home. Come on.” I scooped her into my arms and that woke her up for a second.
“You’re going to carry me like this all the way home?”
“What else is supernatural strength for?”
“Mmm…okay.” She folded against me, clutching my skirt. She smelled like salt now and it was all I could do not to put her down and run my tongue down her skin, tasting sea and then sinking my teeth into her again, feeling the rush of life. I allowed myself the fantasy as I walked, but I wouldn’t do it.
She fell asleep in my arms, growing heavier, like one of Silvus’ overfed cats.
I walked past the hotel that she thought might be our hotel, but it definitely was not. However, I thought I saw our hotel in the distance. In the very far distance. Or was that it? We must have walked more than five miles, talking the night away, and now it was one in the morning.
“Verdomme,” I muttered. “Must I sleep on the sidewalk?”
At this moment, I saw the rental van approaching. Silvus slowed down next to me and lowered the window. “Is she all right?”
“Just sleeping.”
“Get in the car, birthday boy.”
I settled my sleeping girl in the back seat without disturbing her and covered her with the beach blanket after giving it a good shake. “I’m sorry, I know you were still recovering and didn’t probably want to drive around in the middle of the night. But…it was a good birthday.”
“I haven’t heard you say that in a very long time.” Silvus waved a hand dismissively about the ride.
Still, when we got back to the hotel, I could see that he was still aching all over, and having barely recovered from my own wounds, I winced. I really should have thought before I went wandering off. I was lucky we hadn’t encountered anyone from the Order. They told us to go to that seafood restaurant nearby and instead I had let my guard down as if I had forgotten who we were and all the stakes.
I could see all of that scolding in Silvus’ eyes, but he didn’t say a word about it. Maybe he didn’t have the energy for it, as drawn as his face was, limping a little while I carried Alissa to the elevator.
“Are you worse than before?” I asked.
“These things usually do feel worse before they feel better,” Silvus said. “You should know. But I certainly don’t need coddling.” He looked at the little bite mark on her neck and pressed his fingers to it, erasing what was left of the wound under the lights of the hallway before any humans should see it.
“I barely took a taste,” I whispered.
Alissa’s eyes blinked open at his touch. “Silvus? We’re back at the hotel?”
“Yes, the rescue party found us.”
“Phew. You looked so tired.”
“I was fine.”
“If you really want to be stubborn about it…” She yawned again and struggled a little to get down as the elevator arrived, so I put her on her feet. “Silvus…are you feeling better?”
“Of course. Much better, fortunately, since I had to save this one.”
“You’re being stubborn too.” She laughed. We walked to our room and Alissa, still clearly very exhausted, made her way to Silvus’ bed and flopped down on it. Silvus and I had a suite with two rooms and she looked at me sideways from the nest of blankets and a veil of red hair that I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to. She had never had red hair before and although it was a natural
color, it seemed improbable on her somehow.
She reached up and smoothed the hair back up off her neck, and I was sure she knew how alluring this was to any vampire—or really, any man.
Her soul was coming out of hiding, I thought. Little by little. With every night of pleasure, and every spell, and every memory…
“Silvus…do you need to drink?” she breathed.
“You are already so tired, pet.”
“I don’t really need to be energetic,” she said. “It makes me tired anyway. But in a good way, and…” She bit her lower lip and then moistened both. “It’s been a long day.” Her tone left no confusion as to what had made it long.
Silvus looked to me.
I took the clit clip out of pocket. “Thom had her teased all day.”
“How very…Thom.”
“He must have left the nipple clamps at home.”
Silvus took a deep breath and I said, “Go ahead, the lady has given you permission.” I started to move to the doorway and Alissa called my name, stopping me in my tracks.
“Rayner…why do you have to go?”
Silvus’ eyes slowly moved toward me.
“You are my wife,” I said. “And Silvus’ wife. We…love you in our own way.”
“I see. And then…you and Silvus…that is separate from me, too? Have you never…have I never…?”
I had never seen this look on her face before, but then, it had never been like this before. We were never together until Bertie and Thom seemed to unravel everything Silvus and I thought about the rules of the world. But Bertie still carried shame.
And there was no question that after Bertie died, Silvus and I became closer. It was a very long time to live without her, and…
I’m still here. After all these centuries, I’m still here, and I have had more years without her than with her. Who filled the space? Who gave me hope?
I finally looked right at Silvus and I caught a brief yearning in his eyes that he quickly hid.
I had lived for her for five hundred years. Always for her. To love Silvus, I had always felt, might be to betray her—or even to give up on her, in those long, dark years. To enjoy any happiness without her…
Love Me Madly Page 18
