‘Good for you,’ Sophie said. ‘I’ve made a new school year’s resolution too!’
‘Oh yes, what’s that?’
‘I’m going to train as a swimming instructor.’
The seed had been planted in Greece. All the way home, Sophie had thought about how much she had enjoyed being back in the pool and the pleasure of doing something physical again. She had loved teaching Tom and Katie to swim and wondered, for the first time, whether she could make a living out of it. She’d competed at a high level when she was younger and had won a number of competitions which she knew would look good on applications. She had tentatively broached the idea with Alan, interested to see how it felt when she said it out loud, and in typical Alan style he had been great about it.
‘It sounds like an excellent idea, love,’ he said. ‘You’d be a brilliant teacher.’
‘Are you sure it’s all right, though?’ Sophie asked. ‘The training itself isn’t that expensive but I’ll probably have to work evenings and weekends and I doubt I’ll earn my fortune.’
‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained,’ Alan said. ‘I think you should go for it.’
Alan’s reaction had spurred her on and the next person she’d been desperate to tell was Angie. She waited in anticipation now for her reaction.
‘Well! That’s quite a change of career,’ Angie finally said.
‘I know, but I’ve been thinking about it non-stop since Greece and I’m really excited about it. I’m going to look for training courses this week and take it from there.’
‘What about your writing?’
Sophie felt like a teenager again, trying to persuade her parents that she was making the right decision. Was it her or was Angie sounding disapproving? ‘I fell out of love with that a long time ago,’ she said. ‘There’s no point in trying to flog a dead horse. It’s time for a new challenge, a new career start. I know it’s not going to win me a Pulitzer Prize, Ange, but I’m really excited about it, okay?’
Why was she getting defensive? What was it about Angie that made her feel like she had to impress her?
But then Angie turned to her and beamed. ‘I think it’s wonderful,’ she said. ‘If you need any practise, you can always borrow Freddy. He’s a really nervous swimmer and he’s not enjoying the group lessons at all.’
‘I’d love that,’ Sophie said, relaxing again. ‘Any time, you just let me know. Anyway, everything okay your end? I haven’t even heard about the rest of your holiday.’
‘It was lovely thanks, not as fun as our glorious week in the villa but we had a nice time.’
‘Did Indie cheer up in the end?’
Angie winced at the memory. ‘In the end.’
‘I take it it’s all off with the boyfriend?’
‘Oh yes, there’s a new one on the scene now.’
‘Young love, eh?’
‘Indeed.’
They walked to school side by side, watching the children nattering away happily, thrilled to be in each other’s company again and Sophie had an idea. ‘I was thinking, Ange,’ she said, ‘we’ve never been out, just the two of us. How about we get dressed up and hit the town on Friday evening, you and me? We can celebrate our new school year’s resolutions!’
‘That sounds lovely.’
‘Fabulous, shall I book somewhere hip and cool where we’ll feel terribly old?’
‘Perfect.’
When she got home, Sophie turned the radio on and started researching Friday night dinner options, settling on a restaurant in Kings Cross that had good reviews but wasn’t new or trendy enough to be full. Booking a table for 8pm she sent Angie a quick text to confirm the details and smiled with satisfaction. This was exactly what they needed, a girls’ night. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been out in town – it would be just the ticket. She imagined her and Angie drinking cocktails and having a giggle, and she felt a frisson of anticipation. She couldn’t wait.
Singing along to the songs on the radio, she made a cup of tea and turned her attention to googling local swimming courses. By the time she left to pick up Tom and Katie, she’d enrolled on a course starting next month and was feeling productive. As Mondays went, this one was going pretty well, she thought, dashing out of the door. By the time she arrived at the gates, out of breath, the kids were waiting for her and looking at her accusingly.
‘You’re late, Mum,’ Katie said, scowling.
‘By two minutes!’ Sophie protested.
‘But Ellie and Freddy have already gone home.’
‘How about I make it up to you with a chocolate muffin from the café?’
The children’s frowns immediately turned upside down and they each grabbed their mum’s hand and began pulling her towards the parade of shops, talking over each other in their eagerness to tell her all about their day. As she listened to their chatter about who they played with in the playground and what they had for lunch, she felt gloriously light and for the first time in months, she realised that she hadn’t thought about babies all day.
Perhaps it was finally time to close the book on that chapter and start a new one. She’d had enough disappointment over the last year to last a lifetime. Looking down at her two amazing children, she squeezed their hands. Things were on the up, she could feel it.
The rest of the week crawled along as she looked forward to her night out with Angie. When Friday finally arrived, she headed straight to the hairdresser after dropping the children off for a blow dry. As she was paying, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and felt a glow of pride. She’d been going swimming at the local leisure centre almost every day since getting back from holiday, partly so she’d be prepared for the course and partly because she’d remembered how much swimming boosted her mood, and she was already starting to see the effects on her body. She was healthier, a little more toned. She might not be Rebecca Adlington, but she was looking and feeling better than she had done in years and that was good enough for her.
At school pick-up she chatted with the other parents but she couldn’t wait for the day to be over so she could finally get ready to go out. She made the kids fish and chips and was out of her chair and running up the stairs for a shower the minute Alan got home at six. As she got dressed and put her make-up on she hummed along to the Disney song that was blasting out from the TV downstairs, where Alan and the kids were watching a film. Finally, with a panicked glance at her watch, she dashed down the stairs, shouting ‘I’m off!’ in the general direction of the living room, before making her way out of the back door and through the garden gate.
She hurried down Angie and Jack’s garden, opened the back door and let herself into the house. Jack was in the kitchen and he gave a low whistle when he saw her.
‘Looking good, Brennan! Off anywhere nice?’
‘Dinner with your good lady wife,’ Sophie replied.
Jack looked confused. ‘Angie’s not here.’
‘Oh, perhaps I’m supposed to be meeting her there. I’ll call her,’ Sophie said cheerfully, pulling out her phone and calling Angie, who answered after a few rings, sounding flustered.
‘Hey, Ange, I think we might have got our wires crossed, I’m at your house. Are we meeting at the restaurant?’
There was a long silence at the other end of the phone. ‘Angie, are you there?’
‘Oh my gosh, Sophie, I’m sorry,’ Angie said. ‘I completely forgot and I’m out with some clients. They’re extremely important to the firm so I don’t think I can get away.’
Sophie’s heart sank. ‘Oh, okay,’ she said, unable to hide her disappointment.
‘I feel awful, Sophie, I really am sorry, I’ll make it up to you I promise.’
‘No worries.’ Sophie rang off and Jack looked at her sympathetically, having overheard enough to work out what had happened.
‘I take it she’s not coming?’ he asked.
‘No, she forgot,’ Sophie said. She could feel tears pricking her eyes and was embarrassed. She knew it was pathetic t
o be upset but she had been so looking forward to the night out and now she was all dressed up with nowhere to go. Plus she’d had to pay a hefty deposit to secure the table which she was going to lose now. But most of all she was hurt that Angie could forget her so easily. Clearly their friendship was more important to Sophie than it was to Angie and the realisation of that stung. She felt like an idiot.
‘Tell you what,’ Jack said. ‘Why don’t you send the kids round here, grab that husband of yours and take him out for a slap-up meal instead?’
Sophie’s spirits lifted a bit. She looked at her watch. If they got a wriggle on they could still make it in time for the reservation.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked Jack.
‘Absolutely, go get him.’
With renewed enthusiasm, Sophie dashed back through the garden gate to find Alan. She hurried into the front room, ready to demand that he get up and put his best shirt on right now but stopped in her tracks. Tom and Katie were lying top to tail on one sofa in their pyjamas, their duvets wrapped around them like cocoons, while Alan was stretched out on the other under a woollen blanket. All three of them were snoring quietly.
What the hell? It was only 7.15pm! But Alan had previous for falling asleep in front of the telly and the kids were exhausted after their first week back at school. She gave Alan a little poke, but he didn’t even stir. There was no way he would be able to rally in time to make an 8pm reservation in central London, even with the best will in the world. Feeling another wave of disappointment, she returned to the Taylor house to break the news to Jack.
‘He’s fast asleep and not going anywhere,’ she told him, now utterly deflated. Jack regarded her for a moment and then said brightly, ‘Wait there!’
He dashed off up the stairs leaving Sophie alone in the kitchen, miserable and wondering how long she should hang around for before going home and making some beans on toast. Five minutes later he emerged, wearing a dinner shirt and tie over his grey jogging bottoms.
‘Jack, why are you half dressed for a formal?’
‘If you can’t go to the restaurant, I’m bringing the restaurant to you,’ Jack said. He opened a kitchen drawer and riffled through some takeaway menus.
‘We’ve got Indian, Chinese or pizza, take your pick.’
‘Jack, you don’t have to do this.’
‘I know, but I want to. Now sit down and I’ll fix you a cocktail.’
He turned some music on and started mixing ingredients. Ellie drifted in wearing her pyjamas, in search of a hot chocolate.
‘You look nice, Sophie,’ she said, giving her a cuddle. Sophie squeezed her tightly back. She had a soft spot for Ellie. ‘Thank you, darling,’ she replied.
She ordered a couple of pizzas and watched Jack expertly mix cocktails while simultaneously making two hot chocolates with marshmallows for Ellie and Freddy without even breaking a sweat. He headed upstairs to read them a bedtime story and then returned to the kitchen and rummaged around for some olives and crisps.
‘Where are Benji and Indie?’ Sophie asked.
‘Indie’s at a sleepover and Benji’s at some drama weekend camp thing.’
‘This is really sweet of you, Jack,’ she said. ‘I feel a bit embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be silly, it’s nice to have some company. I had a date with some cheese on toast and a computer game. This is far more fun.’
They clinked glasses and Sophie took a sip of her cocktail. It was delicious but utterly potent. ‘You’re going to get me sozzled,’ she warned him.
‘Good,’ he replied, drinking his with alarming speed. He put his glass back down and said, ‘Don’t be upset about Angie. It’s not about you, she just has a habit of losing herself in work sometimes and everything else goes out of the window.’
‘I thought she was supposed to be addressing that,’ Sophie said a little snarkily, and felt bad straight away. ‘Sorry, Jack, I didn’t mean that, I’m just a bit grumpy about being stood up.’
‘I know, I’ve been in your shoes myself.’
‘You have?’
‘Absolutely, like I said, when Angie is working on a big case, she’s very single-minded. It’s why she’s so good at her job. But sometimes the rest of us can be collateral damage. I don’t think she even realises that she’s doing it.’
‘That must be hard.’
‘It is,’ Jack said. ‘You can’t help but feel second to her career sometimes.’
This was the first time that she and Jack had talked about Angie like this and Sophie knew that she was being disloyal, as was he. But the effect of the cocktail, combined with her disappointment over their aborted night out, was making her careless.
‘Has it always been like that?’ she asked him.
‘Yes, right from the start. When we decided to start trying for children, I thought things might be different and at first, they were. Angie adored being a mum and seemed so happy when Benji was a baby. But when Indie came along, she really struggled and ended up going back to work full-time six months later. It was the same with Ellie and Freddy. We had nanny after nanny until they were old enough to go to after-school and holiday clubs.’
Sophie watched Jack, sensing a disapproval that she had never seen in him before. She had always thought that he was proud of Angie’s success, that he thrived on her Superwoman status, but now she wondered if she was only seeing part of the picture. Perhaps their relationship wasn’t as perfect as she had always thought. Perhaps Angie wasn’t as perfect as she had always thought. She was on dangerous territory now, she realised, and she was relieved when the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of dinner. By the time Jack returned with the pizzas and made some fresh cocktails, Sophie was ready to change the subject.
‘I bet you were a bit of a cad when you were younger, weren’t you,’ she said, taking a bite of pepperoni pizza and quickly wiping away the tomato sauce from her chin.
Jack grinned. ‘I can’t deny it,’ he said. ‘I had fun. Okay, a lot of fun. I miss it sometimes.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I just mean, well, being an adult’s hard, isn’t it.’ It was a statement, not a question. ‘It’s so relentless. I miss being carefree, that’s all. Sometimes I just want to do something reckless.’
‘Are you having a midlife crisis, Jack?’
He laughed. ‘Maybe, but don’t you ever feel that urge? To do something mad?’
Sophie thought for a minute. ‘I mean, I’ve fantasised about abandoning my kids in the middle of Asda when they’re being little sods, if that’s what you mean?’
Jack studied her. ‘You’re a good girl, aren’t you, Sophie.’
She stopped chewing and looked at him and he looked back. For a brief moment the world stopped. Then she heard a thump followed by wailing from above and they both jumped up and raced up the stairs. They found Freddy on the floor.
‘Oh, Fred, did you fall out of bed?’ Jack asked, scooping him up and giving him a cuddle. Ellie, who had come in to see what all the commotion was about, was now bouncing around excitedly, thrilled to see Sophie and insisting that she read her a story. It took half an hour to calm them both down and get them off to sleep and by the time they came back downstairs, the pizza was cold and Sophie was ready to go home.
‘I’m going to head off, Jack,’ she said. ‘Thanks for a lovely evening.’
‘Stay,’ he said. ‘It’s still early, let’s have another drink.’
‘I’m okay, two of your cocktails is quite enough for me.’ She gave him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Thanks, Jack, I really appreciate it.’
‘Good night, Brennan,’ he said, looking crestfallen.
He really didn’t want her to go, Sophie realised. She’d thought he just felt sorry for her but she understood now that getting dressed up and making a night of it had been as much for his benefit. She looked at him again, indecisive. Should I stay or should I go?
14
Indie kept her head down low as she hurried down Pemberton Road. It was only 2pm a
nd she was supposed to be at school, but she’d had a big row with her best friend, Daisy, and she didn’t want to stick around anymore. That dive was bad enough at the best of times but with all her friends taking Daisy’s side and giving her the cold shoulder, it was unbearable. If only she hadn’t dumped her new boyfriend last week, she could have hung out with him but he was still pissed off with her so she was giving him a wide berth.
Fortunately her teacher hadn’t batted an eyelid when she presented him with a forged letter from her mum, explaining that she had to leave early for a dentist appointment, and she had rushed out of the school gates with relief, like a prisoner escaping their block. But once she was outside, she realised that she had nowhere to go. It was a cold, blustery, winter’s day and she didn’t fancy hanging around in the park all afternoon. She could go to a café but she might raise suspicion in her school uniform and she only had about 50p on her.
Then she remembered her parents telling her that Ellie and Freddy were going to football club after school and that they wouldn’t be home until 5pm, and she started heading home, already planning to raid the chocolate cupboard and play on her iPad undisturbed for a couple of hours. Benji would probably guess that she’d bunked off when he found her at home already, but he’d cover for her; he was all right like that.
There were only a few weeks to go until Christmas and many houses in Pemberton Road had their decorations up already. Some of them had tacky light-up penguins and Santas outside and Indie always pretended to cringe when she saw them, but secretly she loved them. Christmas was one of her favourite times of the year. It made her feel excited like a little girl again, although she’d never admit that to anyone. But seriously, what was there not to like? She got loads of cool presents, pigged out on chocolate and hung out with her older cousins, who were a right laugh. Plus no school – which meant no Daisy – for two weeks as well. Result.
As she walked past the Brennan’s house she glanced at the illuminated reindeers in the front garden. As neighbours went, the Brennans weren’t too bad. Their kids seemed to live at her house but they kept Ellie and Freddy busy which, in turn, meant that they didn’t pester her. Sophie was a bit mumsy but she’d always been good to Indie. She’d bought her an awesome present for her thirteenth birthday, a coveted bag that was sold out in most shops and had been the envy of all her friends. She had no idea how Sophie had managed to get hold of it: perhaps she was cooler than Indie had given her credit for. But as nice as she was, she doubted that Sophie would keep quiet about her bunking off school.
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