by Elle Casey
Jonathan looked at his sister and saw the storm brewing in her eyes. He went over and touched her arm to distract her, a technique he’d learned from his mom doing it to him at least five times a day. “Hey, just let her go. She doesn’t feel good.” He leaned in towards her ear. “And she’s pretty terrible at cleaning anyway.”
“I heard that, Jonathan!” Sarah yelled from the trees as she tried to balance long enough to lie down.
Candi snorted when Sarah flipped herself out of the hammock and fell on her butt in the dirt. “You’re right, Jonathan. Come on. Let’s go buff this place up. I’m sure it won’t take long at all.”
“Yo! Hey, come check this out,” said Kevin. He was standing in front of the shed.
“You go. I’ll start on the house,” said Candi, leaving Jonathan on the porch.
Jonathan walked over to join Kevin at the open shed door in front of the car. “What’s in there,” he asked, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the change in light.
“A canoe and a rowboat. If we can get them out of there we could fit the car in, I’m pretty sure. Plus, we could use them on the lake, right?” Kevin looked around the side of the shed. “Assuming there is a lake here somewhere.”
Jonathan shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Come on, I’ll help you. Just be careful about rusty parts. I’m up to date on my tetanus immunizations, but I’m not sure if you are.”
“Me neither. Probably not. I can’t remember the last time I had one.”
“Dammit!” yelled Sarah.
Jonathan looked around the side of the shed, watching Sarah pick herself up off the ground again. “If you’re worried about dust and bacteria, you might want to stop lying in the dirt!” he yelled.
“Shut up, Jonathan!”
“Okay!” he said, going back to helping Kevin. “She never likes it when I give her suggestions.”
“Dude …,” said Kevin, laughing, “ … oh, man. You kill me.”
“I don’t see why. I’m not trying to kill you. I just think if she’s worried about cleaning the house, the last thing she should be doing is sitting on the ground. There are probably bird droppings and worm casings and who knows what else there just on the surface.”
“You should tell her that,” said Kevin.
“Really?” Jonathan turned, considering doing just that.
“No, dude, no. I’m messing with you. Just keep your head down and your mouth shut. The less you say, the better off you are. Haven’t you learned anything after living with her?” He grabbed the edge of the canoe and lifted it off the hooks that were hanging it from the ceiling.
Jonathan grabbed the other end, walking out backwards. “Yeah. I guess I have. Like for one, she doesn’t always make a lot of sense, but she seems to feel better after yelling about stuff.”
“Who are you talking about?!” came a loud voice from behind Jonathan, making him spin around so fast he had no time to orient himself. His head hit the side of the canoe, and it was lights out. The darkness closed in immediately.
***
Kevin moved the canoe out of the shed and put it on the ground next to the car before going in and checking on Jonathan. The guy had fallen to the ground in a pile after walking right into the side of the boat. If it hadn’t knocked him out, Kevin would have been laughing his ass off. It was like watching one of those old black and white movies of the three guys who were always bonking each other over the head and stuff.
“Dude. Jon. Come on, time to wake up and help me move the boats.” Kevin had seen guys get knocked out in rugby games several times. He knew there was nothing to worry about when Jonathan started coming back within seconds of falling down.
Jonathan’s eyes opened, fluttering a few times before finally looking normal. “What happened?”
“You got the crap scared out of you by my sister and hit your head. Get up and help me with this other boat.”
Jonathan stood, stepping up on one foot and then the other with his arms out, testing his balance. He looked like a deranged bird. “Maybe I have a concussion.”
“Probably not. Come on.”
“Maybe I should relax for a minute just to be sure.”
“Are you dizzy?”
“No.”
“Disoriented? In pain? Nauseated?”
“No.”
“Then shut up and help me move the damn boat. We need to get the car in here.”
Jonathan stepped over to the bow. “Tell me when to lift,” he grumbled.
“Go.”
The two hefted the boat up first to waist-level and then over their heads, using hands on either side to steady it as they walked out of the shed with it above them.
“Where are we going?” grunted Jonathan.
“To the lake.”
“Which way is that?!”
“I don’t know! Past the trees near Sarah, probably.”
They moved as fast as they could, but didn’t make it much past the hammock before they had to stop and put it down.
“Damn, that thing’s heavier than it looks. Maybe we can drag it,” said Kevin, eyeing its bulky form.
“Not now, though. Later,” said Jonathan, out of breath.
“Man, you are out of shape,” laughed Kevin, punching Jonathan on the upper arm as he walked by. “Don’t worry. I’ll get you back in the groove. Morning calisthenics start at oh-six-hundred tomorrow morning.” Kevin grinned like a fool, rubbing his hands together over the idea of having his exercise crew back online. He’d missed their routine from the island. Somehow, working out alone or with the guys on the rugby team had never been quite as much fun. He liked getting reluctant participants to enjoy themselves; it was like a personal challenge or something.
“I’m not sure about the oh-six-hundred part of that plan,” said Jonathan, rubbing his shoulder as he caught up to Kevin, “but I do like the idea of improving my cardiovascular performance. Ever since Sarah moved in, I kind of quit running, and I can totally feel it.”
“You’d better not be blaming me for that,” came her voice through the trees.
“I’m not,” said Jonathan, hastily walking over to join her at the hammock. “Not exactly. I mean, the reason I don’t run now is I’m too busy with you, but that’s not your fault. It’s my choice.”
“You can do both - be my sister’s slave and exercise. You don’t need to sacrifice.” Kevin shook his head at his friend. Poor kid didn’t have a chance with Sarah on one side and him on the other.
“Speaking of slaves …,” said Candi, standing at the door looking out towards them, “… Kevin could you come in here? I need help with something.”
Kevin looked at Jonathan and his sister who were now standing in front of each other, Jonathan peering down into her face, probably to check her pupil dilation or something.
“She probably needs my muscles.” Kevin flexed for effect.
“Exactly. Come move this furniture for me,” said Candi
Kevin frowned, and his sister laughed. “See you later, muscle man,” she said.
“Shut up,” he responded, walking slowly over to the house. He had to move furniture for his mother all the time. She was never happy for longer than a week or so with the way things were arranged. It was one of his least favorite things to do, not because it was hard but because it seemed like a colossal waste of time. No one cared where the damn side tables or armchairs were except her.
He walked into the cabin and was immediately struck by how neglected it was. The pictures Jonathan had printed from the online ad had shown it as a homey place, filled with knickknacks, a fire in the woodstove, and pictures on the walls. Now it was just a shell with some lame furniture in it and dust covering everything.
“Can you move this couch with me?” said Candi. “I think it’ll be better over here in front of the television.”
Kevin eyed the old set with suspicion. “Does that thing even work?”
“She said it did. I think she was going to get the cable turned on today or something.”
“Yeah, right.” I’ll believe that when I see it. It was going to be a serious pain in the butt if they had zero access to the outside world. Television was a bare minimum as far as he was concerned. How else would they know about the trial or whether they were being hunted by the FBI?
Kevin moved the couch and three chairs around to several different spots until Candi declared herself satisfied. She may have quit early on account of him kissing her every time she got near, but he wasn’t complaining. More soft lips and less lifting was fine with him. Her goofy hair probably should have been like a cold shower keeping him at bay, but for some reason it was having the opposite effect. At this point she probably could have shaved her head bald, and he’d still want to see her naked. His eyes roamed the room as he held her against him. “Where are the bedrooms in this place? You should probably bring me to ours so I can move some furniture in there, too.”
Candi pulled away. “Are we going to be roomies?”
“Of course.” He frowned. “What? Did you think you were going to sleep with Sarah?”
Candi looked horrified. “No. Please. Don’t make me.”
Kevin grinned. “I’ll think about it. Maybe you’ll have to convince me, you know, to be your roommate.”
Candi got a wily expression on her face. “Follow me.” She dragged him across the room to a set of stairs that led up to a closed-off loft. They climbed to the top and stood at the entrance of the open space. There in the middle of it was a double bed.
“You want to snuggle with Jonathan on that?” she asked.
Kevin snorted. “Hell no.”
“Good. I guess I can consider you convinced, then.”
Kevin scooped her up into his arms. “Not so fast, young lady.”
She squealed as he ran to the bed and threw her down on it, preparing to jump on after her. But his plans were foiled when her weight hit the mattress and the whole thing collapsed, a big poof of dust flying up into the air to surround her.
“Ack! Gack! Kah!” choked and wheezed Candi. “Get me off of here!” she yelled, holding out her hands.
Kevin couldn’t stop laughing.
“Shut up, you big oaf,” she said, standing finally and trying to wipe all the dust off of her body. “This place is a giant pile of dirt! And now you broke the bed. We’re going to have to pay for that, you know.”
She was so mad, and her hair was sticking out all over the place, making her look like a deranged clown. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Come here, you lunatic,” he said, pulling her close again.
“You’re the lunatic,” she said into his chest, her arms going around his waist, “throwing me on the bed like that.”
“What can I say? That new hairstyle of yours brings out the caveman in me.”
She pinched his butt hard.
“Ow! Hey! Watch it, Shirley.”
She pulled back and put her finger up in his face. “Don’t call me Shirley, or I’m going to do very bad things to you.”
He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Oh, reeeeallly? Hmmmm, sounds interesting.” He leaned down to kiss her neck, but was stopped short by her defensive maneuver.
“Wet willy!” she squealed before pushing him away and running down the stairs.
Kevin sighed heavily as he pulled the edge of his shirt up and used it to wipe out his now very wet ear canal. “Payback’s a bitch, Shirley!” he shouted down the stairs. “You’d better run far and fast!”
The only response he could hear was a very loud and pronounced raspberry.
***
Sarah got bored with the hammock and watching Jonathan try to wrestle the rowboat through the trees. She wandered over to the trunk of the car and started pulling food out. She opened boxes and bags, snacking as she walked to the cabin. “Mmmm, cheese puffs. I looooove me some cheese puffs.” Her fingertips quickly turned orange, and she savored every last speck of the terrible stuff as she licked it off. Jonathan would have a fit if he saw her eating this crap, but she totally didn’t care. It was deeerishus.
“You can just put that stuff on the counter,” said Candi. “I’ll arrange the pantry later.” Her head was stuck in a cabinet where she was busy pulling out pots and pans of all different sizes.
Sarah put the bag and the big plastic jar of nuts she’d been holding down on the dirty tile countertop. She ran her finger over its surface, cringing at the dust and residue that came off. She went over to the sink to rinse it and jumped back when a loud groan came out, followed by the sink sputtering and vomiting out yellow water.
“What the hell!” She slowly backed into the family room, afraid to go near it.
“It’s nothing,” said Candi, coming over and turning the water on harder. “Just let the water run until it’s clear.”
“But … it’s yellow. What is that? Lake water? Toilet water?”
“No, it’s just from the pipes. It’s normal in old houses that sit and don’t get used.”
“Pfft. Sha. Right.” Yellow water might be normal in your world, but it’s not in mine.
The water did start to go clear pretty quickly, but Sarah didn’t trust it. Jonathan was going to have to do something about this. Yellow water couldn’t possibly be good for the Peanut. They had a case of bottled water, but it wasn’t going to last very long.
“Go get the rest of the food so I can put this pantry together and figure out what’s for dinner,” ordered Candi.
Sarah walked out of the kitchen, deliberately going very slowly. “Bossy cow.” After digging around in the trunk, she was halfway from the car to the cabin with two small things in her hands when she heard the guys yelling back in the trees. She dropped the things on the ground and ran, Candi right on her heels.
“What is it?” Candi asked breathlessly, as they ran past branches covered in leaves.
“How the heck do I know?” responded Sarah, getting a stitch in her side from the sudden, intense exercise. She knew she was close to the guys when she heard Kevin whoop again.
The reason for his excitement and joy became clear when they rounded a bend in the path and came out from the edge of the trees. Huge evergreens ringed a body of water that was too small to be called a lake. It was more like a pond, but it had a dock; and the rowboat and canoe were now tied to it, bobbing on the small waves the guys were making. Both Jonathan and Kevin were in the water.
“Come on in!” yelled Kevin, splashing towards the girls. “The water’s great!”
Sarah noticed his pile of clothes on the dock. “Are you naked in there?”
“No, I’m in my shorts. Come on! It’s awesome!”
“The water is quite refreshing. Join us!” said Jonathan. He flipped onto his back and floated with his arms and legs spread wide. “This is nice. Can you hear me? I can’t really hear myself. Hello? The water’s in my ears.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. Jonathan had done the same thing in the ocean when they were practicing holding their breath. It made her wonder if she could still do it for as long as she had before. She’d gotten pretty good, but none of them were able to match Kevin’s stamina.
Jonathan disappeared below the surface as if he’d been yanked down by a lake monster, making Sarah’s breath catch in her throat. But when Jonathan came up sputtering and Kevin appeared a moment later, laughing his butt off, she started breathing again. Idiots. She was sorely tempted to join them but wasn’t interested one bit in Kevin messing with her.
“Are you going in?” asked Candi.
“No. I’ll put my feet in, maybe, but I’m not in the mood to deal with Kevin. He’s on the warpath.”
They both watched as Jonathan tried to escape Kevin’s clutches, but failed. He couldn’t get away fast enough and was pulled back into Kevin’s range by the ankles. He yelled once, his scream getting cut off when Kevin pushed the top of his head below the surface.
Sarah was about to yell at her brother about harassing poor Jonathan, when a big arm came up out of the water from behind Kevin and put him in a choke hold. K
evin disappeared underwater with Jonathan rising up over him, yelling, “Ah-haaaa!! Take that, butthead!”
The next ten minutes were a battle back and forth between the two idiots, both of them trying to drown the other and claim superiority. Eventually they gave up, doggy paddling over to the dock because they’d run out of energy to do anything else. Candi helped drag Kevin out onto the dock and he helped Jonathan up after him. They all laid on the sun-faded and slightly warped wood surface, the boys breathing heavily.
Sarah walked over and sat down, dipping her feet into the water. Wow, that does feel nice.
Candi sat up and scooted to the edge of the dock next to Sarah, putting her feet in too. “Ooooh, that is scrumptious. As soon as I’m done with the cleaning, I’m coming out here for a swim.”
“It’ll be too dark. That place is a mess.”
“It would go faster if I had help,” she hinted.
Sarah sniffed, totally unconvinced. “Maybe. Ask Kevin to help. He’s a neat freak. You should see his room at home.”
“Cleaning’s woman’s work,” said Kevin, snickering.
Sarah raised an eyebrow. “Someone wants to die, apparently.” She twisted around to see what Candi was going to do.
Candi got up and went over to her boyfriend, putting her foot on his chest. “You want to try that again, mister?”
He grabbed her ankle. “Cleaning is woman’s work.” He ran his hand up her leg, probably intending to tweak her butt, but Candi was too fast for him.
She grabbed his arm and yanked back as hard as she could, effectively flipping him over onto his stomach.
“Hey!” he yelled, sounding surprised.
She twisted his arm around behind him and yanked his hand up high towards his head, going down on her knee in the middle of his back, pressing it into his spine. “One more time for good measure.”
“Oh, shit … no! I give, I give!”
“Say, cleaning is men’s work.”
“Never!” he yelled, grunting as he tried to move, but stopping every time the pain hit him.
“Say it or the arm goes!” Candi was grinning evilly down at him.
