by Kahlen Aymes
“Are you sure?” he asked gently. “I can take the car back to Jackson tonight, and then drive you back to the airport to pick up yours tomorrow.”
“I’m sure. Why don’t we just return this one at the rental return at the airport and then get mine? I’ll drop you off at your place.”
“It’s so late and it will take time to return the rental and then grab the shuttle to the long-term parking.”
“It’s okay. I couldn’t be so ungrateful to make you drive all the way back tomorrow. I’ve already taken way too much advantage of you.”
“No, you didn’t.” He shook his head wearily and smiled. He looked as tired as I felt. “I volunteered. It’s not the same thing.”
“Yes, but still. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I can’t thank you enough.”
“Sure, you can. You can share your pup.” He could have been teasing, but it felt like he was serious. “At least, let me borrow her when you need to work or something. I’ve grown rather attached.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?”
Ben laughed. “Yes! I don’t think Siri will fit into my apartment, or I’d ask to share her, too.”
Delight raced through every cell in my body. “You love Siri, too?”
“Yes, she’s sweet and I feel for the poor thing. She looks so uncomfortable.”
“She’s due to foal soon. It’s her first baby. Uncle Leonard knew she was my favorite, so he had her bred for my birthday present. If he was going to leave me one last gift, this was a good one. I’ll have this baby a long time… Unless I have to sell the ranch.”
“The way you talk about your uncle, it’s clear he meant a lot to you.”
“Yes. He was a little rough around the edges, but he had the best heart. I miss him.”
Ben glanced my way, his lips pressed together in a small smile, his right hand reaching out to touch my arm, but he stopped himself, abruptly putting his hand on his thigh and rubbing it across his jeans. “It sounds like it.”
My heart sped up. He was going to touch me, and I wanted him to. It was wrong. Carter wasn’t even cold in the ground, and I was hoping another man would put his hands on me.
Oh, God, I thought.
Embarrassed, I turned and faced forward again, settling myself back into the seat. I could sense Ben had something else to say but didn’t want to say it. Maybe he needed a little prodding.
“What is it?”
“Oh,” he began, looking surprised that I’d picked up on his discomfort. “It’s just… you don’t speak about your boyfriend the way you do about your uncle. I mean, I get it, it’s painful to lose someone you love, but I thought you’d be talking about him more. I probably shouldn’t even bring it up. Maybe you’re still in shock over the whole ordeal.”
I pulled in a deep breath, completely filling my lungs, my head cocking to one side as I considered what to say. It had been an ordeal, but the last week after Carter’s death had been so much more peaceful and less of one. “Yes, it has been.”
“And now, with this kidnapping thing. It’s rough. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. You’ve been so wonderful to me… the last thing you have to be is sorry, Ben.” I swallowed at the painful thickening beginning in my throat and blinked at the sting of tears began in my eyes. “I’m just not ready to talk about Carter. Is that okay?”
His hand shifted position on the steering wheel and ran the other through his mop of thick sandy hair with the other. I wanted to study him, memorize him because he was that beautiful His soul was that beautiful.
“Of course, it’s okay. I’m sorry I’m an insensitive jerk.”
Now it was my turn to want to reach out and touch, but I didn’t. “You’re not. Please don’t think so.”
“I guess, I’m just curious about him. I saw the bruises. They were too old to come from the accident, or a fall on your run to the ranch during the fire.”
I shook my head. Of course, he knew. First responders saw abuse victims a lot. I guess, I didn’t think there would be a lot of abusers in Jackson Hole.
“You’re right… but I still don’t want to talk about it.” I wanted to tell him everything, but I was afraid he’d realize Carter was dead because of me, that maybe I was actually responsible for killing him. I trusted Ben more than I’d trusted anyone since my uncle, but I just couldn’t open up about this right now. Maybe someday, I could. “Not yet. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s all me.”
Ben nodded. “Okay, but when you’re ready, I’m here. I’ve seen this before. You can trust me.”
As Ben navigated his way off of the interstate at the airport exit, I struggled. So, if it wasn’t from seeing abuse victims at his job, did he have a girlfriend who had been abused? A spark of jealousy burst inside my heart. I wanted to ask questions, but then I’d have to share the whole sordid ordeal and I didn’t think I could do it without breaking down.
“I know. That’s the hard part.” My voice held a bit of a crack, so I cleared my throat. “I want to, but I’m just not ready.”
Ben followed the rental return signs into one of the lower levels of the parking garage and was guided along by one of the attendants, finding a parking space inside.
“Okay, no more pressure, but just know you can talk to me without judgement, as a friend.”
Wow.
Why did one word hurt so much? I reminded myself again that it was ridiculous to think of Ben as anything more than a friend. I could feel myself flush with embarrassment at the direction of my thoughts. Thank God it was dark, and he couldn’t see it well.
“Right. So, do you have to do anything about the car? Sign something?” I asked awkwardly.
“I think I just have to hand over the keys and let them look over the car.” He reached in front of me to open the glove compartment to retrieve the paperwork. “Excuse me.”
“Sure,” I acknowledged. The hair on my arms rose his nearness; goosebumps covering every inch of my skin and shiver running through me. I quickly reached for the door handle when he was done.
I stepped out, followed closely by Ben.
“Good evening, sir.” The male attendant in the rental car jumpsuit took the keys while Ben grabbed his bag from the back seat. I felt like an idiot that I’d lost my carry-on to Carter’s family. The sisters had probably doled out all of my clothes and shoes like a Goodwill store.
Ugh, I thought. The entire thing was messed up. I was so dumb to fall in love with someone like Carter. I wouldn’t be in this mess if I wasn’t moved by a pretty face and a pile of lies. Well, I wouldn’t be that susceptible again.
I stood in silence, watching the attendant look over the car haphazardly and nodding at Ben, who looked tired and rumpled. “You’re good to go. I hope you both had a nice trip, and that you’ll consider using Enterprise again.”
Ben smiled good-naturedly. “Sure will. Thanks.” He hoisted his blue duffle bag over his shoulder and walked around the back of the car toward me. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
We walked out of the garage to the curb and got in the shuttle line. An older couple with a lot of bags was struggling on the sidewalk, both of them carrying small bags and dragging larger ones. Ben slid his bag off of his shoulder to set at his feet. “Be right back,” he said under his breath and walked quickly in their direction. “Hello! My name is Ben. Looks like you’ve got your hands full. Do you need some help?”
I smiled as I watched the older couple’s faces light up in gratitude. “Thank you, my boy,” the gentleman said as Ben took the woman’s shoulder bag and lifted the man’s small roller bag up to attach it to the larger one.
“You’re a blessing,” the woman said. “We’ve been struggling since the baggage claim. Goodness, I’m out of breath!”
“You’re very welcome. Just a second and I’ll be back for the rest, Ma’am. Just leave that large bag.”
I had a huge smile on my face as Ben approached, loaded down with the couple’s ba
ggage. He really was perfect. An adorable dimple appeared in his cheek as his mouth split into a grin. “What?” he asked innocently.
“You got a glass slipper hidden in your pocket?” I asked, amused.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he said happily, setting the bags on the sidewalk next to his own. I almost giggled, as a laugh burst forth.
“I would, actually.”
Ben winked as he straightened up, starting to head back to get the other bags. “I have to keep some secrets to myself, sweetheart.”
My heart jolted at the endearment as I stared after him. I had to snap out of this. I barely knew him.
Soon, he was on his way back, pacing himself this time because he was having a conversation with the older couple. They were all talking, joyous expressions on their faces.
“My goodness!” The lady beamed. “What a beautiful girl, you have here,” she said to Ben then turned to me. “And you! What a lucky young lady to have such a thoughtful and handsome young man.”
“Well…” I started to let her know that we weren’t a couple, but I caught Ben’s amused eye, and his brow wrinkled wryly as he shook his head, signaling to let the lady think what she wanted. “I agree. He’s quite something.”
“My dear, he’s a keeper.”
Coyly, my eyes drifted up to Ben’s, hoping to get an unobserved look at him and maybe figure out what he was thinking. He was still smiling, listening to something the old man was telling him.
The woman’s hand wrapped around my forearm, leaning in to speak more softly. “I haven’t seen that kind of chivalry in years. He looks so strong and virile, too… I bet he keeps you busy in the bedroom.”
My mouth dropped open. “Um…” My eyebrows arched and my eyes widened in shock “He’s… uh, certainly… red-blooded.”
It wasn’t as if the thought hadn’t occurred to me. At least a hundred times. I couldn’t even think about him without feeling an attraction, but any woman would want him. Ben was perfect. I’d have to be missing my ovaries to not notice how masculine he was, and it wasn’t as if I didn’t have the fantasy of more happening between us, but I was still reeling from the events of the past week and I felt guilty that I wasn’t more of a sobbing mess. Instead, I blamed myself, and now, I was worried about the retaliation of Carter’s family and maybe they’d try to hurt Ben if he was around me.
Thankfully, the shuttle arrived and stopped further contemplation. The elderly couple preceded us onto the bus and Ben helped the driver load all of the luggage and popped his head back in. The lights on the interior of the bus showed the tired lines on his face. “Can you wait just a second?” he asked the driver, then directed his blue gaze straight at me. “My car is in short term parking, here. Do you want me to go with you to get your truck and then you can drop me off at the main terminal again?” He seemed a little anxious and I wanted to soothe him.
“Oh, you’re so tired. I’m not scared here. I’ll be fine.”
He paused, looking at me. “Yeah, I know, but it’s late and I’d feel better if I knew you were safe. If you don’t want to, I understand.”
Once again, he caused fireworks to explode inside me. I smiled gently. “Okay.”
“Great,” he smiled then raced up the stairs. “Sorry, mister,” he said to the bus driver.
“No worries. We don’t get many passengers at this time of night.”
Ben took a seat across from me and the woman next to me leaned in. “I predict lots of babies.”
“Oh,” my hand came up to rest on my chest. “We… well, we’re… uh…”
I met Ben’s gaze and he was grinning from ear to ear. He shrugged slightly, with a wry cock of his head and an arch to one eyebrow.
“No need to get flustered, dear. I just wish you the best!”
Her brown eyes were so kind that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. I could see years of life and experience reflected there; they were satisfied and wise.
“Bev, leave the girl alone,” her husband admonished. “You’re embarrassing her.”
I remembered Ben’s look at the airport and how he thought it was easier to let the couple believe we were together, and so I played along.
“I’m not embarrassed. We’re… trying.”
The woman’s hands clasped together as a bright smile graced her weathered face. “How wonderful!”
Thankfully, we were pulling into the parking lot, and said our goodbyes to the sweet elderly couple as the driver searched for their car. I watched as they disembarked from the shuttle and walked a few steps away, waiting for the driver to help with their luggage. True to form, Ben followed the couple, stopping to address the driver, who was slowly getting up out of his seat to assist them. He looked like he was in pain with maybe a back problem.
“No, that’s okay, sir, I’ll help them. That large one is easily seventy pounds. Take a rest.”
The driver seemed surprised by his offer. “Really?” he asked, hopefully sitting back into his seat.
“Sure thing. Be right back”
The man and his wife settled into their new burgundy SUV thanking Ben profusely after he stowed their mountain of luggage into the back. He hopped back onto the shuttle through the open door, which the driver quickly closed behind him, then sat down across from me as we continued his slow journey through the large lot.
“Thank you. I hurt my back last weekend when I slipped on the dang stairs. They are steep and my wife’s little dog was in the way. I didn’t hurt the pooch, but I’m still very stiff.”
Ben smiled and nodded. “No problem. I could see that you were suffering some sort of injury back at the terminal.”
“Well, I appreciate your help. Believe me, if I didn’t need to have this extra job, I wouldn’t, but we’re on a fixed income and my wife has a bunch of medical bills.”
“That was nice,” I mouthed without sound, and was rewarded with one of Ben’s crooked grins and half shrugs. He was so humble, and this action was just part of him; shrugging off his kindness as if everyone possessed it in equal measures when that was far from true.
A pothole in the pavement caused the bus to jolt and drew me out of my thoughts, abruptly.
“Oh! There’s my truck,” I told the driver, pointing to it. “In the back row. That old blue one,” I told the driver. He was a kind-looking older gentleman, and I felt sorry for his plight. Unfortunately, the only cash I had was stolen by Carter’s family, so I was unable to follow my heart and give him a hefty tip.
As we neared my truck, the driver stopped and opened the door and Ben and I rose to exit the vehicle. “Here you go kids.”
“Thank you for the ride,” I murmured. “I hope you feel better soon and that your wife does, too. You’ve been so nice.”
The man’s face lit up with genuine pleasure and he nodded. “My pleasure.” He stopped the shuttle and we rose to leave.
Apparently, Ben shared my thoughts because he grabbed his bag and flung it over his shoulder then paused on the shuttle stairs reaching into his front pocket and pulling out a messy wad of bills. He quickly straightened them out and handed the pile of money over to the driver, who seemed astonished and just looked from the money and then to Ben’s face.
I couldn’t tell if the money consisted of a lot of ones or if they were larger bills, and I realized, it didn’t matter. It was just the enormity of the gesture that moved me. Ben was handing over every cent he had on him to a man he knew nothing about but believed was less fortunate… and he did so without a second thought. The contrast between Ben and Carter screamed once again. Carter wouldn’t have even tipped the driver, and I doubted he would have helped the old couple.
“Oh, I can’t take that,” the driver began.
“Yes, you can. Please?” Ben asked graciously.
I stood frozen on the gravel pavement of the parking lot looking on at the scene playing out in front of me.
“You’ll need money to get out of the lot,” the man offered.
“De
bit card,” Ben replied. “Please take it,” he insisted, presenting the money closer this time.
The driver reluctantly took the cash. “Thank you,” he said quietly. I could see he was as touched as I was.
“You’re welcome. Have a great rest of your night,” Ben told the driver, coming down the stairs toward me and then past me onto the passenger side of the truck.
Once inside and finding my way out of the parking lot, my hands trembled on the old steering wheel.
Ben yawned; putting his hand up to cover his mouth. “Sorry.”
“No need to say you’re sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry… I’m sorry that I had to call you.”
Ben sighed. “Marin.” He paused; contemplation clear on his handsome face which was highlighted in the darkness by the dashboard light. “I’m glad you did.” Without missing a beat, he changed the subject. “So, we’ll get my truck and I’ll follow you back to the ranch.”
“You don’t need to follow me all the way. It’s outside of town on the opposite side.” I already felt so guilty. We’d just driven seventeen hours and weariness settled on him like a cloak.
“I know where the ranch is,” he said simply; quietly. “I’ll make sure you get home, safely. We’ll get some sleep, but if it’s okay, I’ll get Gem from Davis tomorrow morning and bring her out early when I come to take care of the horses.”
“That’s right, you don’t have to work tomorrow,” I murmured hesitantly, inwardly cursing my still unhealed injuries. I wish I didn’t have to impose on Ben any further. I was just pulling up to the parking booth. It was automated and I was able to feed the parking ticket into a machine and then swipe my credit card. Ben had offered me his, but I turned it down. “I got this.”
The machine processed the card and the arm lifted allowing me to leave the parking lot.
“Nope.” He nodded and leaned back into the seat of my uncle’s old truck. “I was able to get the day off. I wasn’t sure if I’d be back from Minneapolis. I’m all yours for the day if you want me.”
I swallowed and concentrated on the road.
