Embracing Today, a firefighter romance: (The Trading Yesterday Series, #3)

by Kahlen Aymes

  “You don’t think they’d just keep blackmailing you? You can’t reason with terrorists or criminals, Marin.”

  She stepped down off of the gate. “Probably not, but what else can I do? Sell the land and the ranch? I grew up here. I don’t want to leave. Coming?” she asked as she pointed toward the barn door.

  She started walking and I followed a few steps behind, enjoying watching her silhouette walk down the corridor between the two rows of stalls the moonlight framing her.

  “I wouldn’t want to leave either, but I wouldn’t pay them a damn dime.” I couldn’t understand her reticence. “Why aren’t you angrier over what happened? They kidnapped you and who knows what else could have happened. Get a restraining order, at least.”

  She shrugged and shoved her hands into the front pockets of her shorts as she waited for me to close the distance between us. We were outside now, and our shoes crunched on the gravel as we walked toward the house.

  “Would that really stop them if they wanted to hurt me? If you could only have seen Apollo. He was menacing. I’m sure kidnapping is only the last offense on a very long rap sheet.”

  I reached out and wrapped my fingers around her arm at the elbow, my goal to stop her and have her look at me while we spoke about it. “Right. You’re making my point. You’re vulnerable out here. Why are you willing to take the chance?”

  “They can’t kidnap me. There is no one to pay the ransom,” she said a bit more flippantly than I could stomach.

  “This isn’t a joke.”

  Her slim shoulders lifted in a shrug. “What am I supposed to do, Ben? At least with the horses boarded here, there is some money coming in. Even if they show up, I already told them I didn’t have much cash. There is still a mortgage on the house because my uncle took out a loan to upgrade the fencing and make repairs to the barn.”

  “Until you get the insurance money, Marin. Even if you hand over any allocated for Carter’s death, they may still demand more. Even if you lied to them about your situation before, they can figure out there will be other money for the rebuild coming in.”

  “I don’t even know what kind of insurance my uncle kept on the place. There might not be anything at all.” She was getting annoyed. “You know, this really isn’t any of your business.”

  I stopped short of the porch while she went up the steps. Anger exploded inside me. “The minute you texted me from that bathroom in the mall and brought me into it, you made it my goddamn business!” I wasn’t exactly yelling, but the timber and volume to my voice had changed enough to make her flinch and back away from me.

  Instantly, I regretted my outburst. If she had suffered abuse at Carter’s hands, this would make her afraid of me. I put up my hands, spreading the fingers wide, consciously lowering my voice. “Look, I’m sorry, Marin. I didn’t mean to shout. I’m just worried about you.”

  “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have called you. I just… thought… I thought…” I could hear the tears and tremble to her voice. I felt like a total and utter asshole.

  “You thought right. You were right to call me. I told you that I’d be here for you and I meant it. I just…”

  I wanted desperately to move closer to her, to somehow make her understand. Instead, I turned away and locked my fingers on top of my head, unsure what to say next. After a few seconds I started speaking, but still keeping my back to her. “I don’t know what your situation with Carter was, and I’m not asking you to tell me about it right now, but my sister was beaten by her first husband and I’ve seen the yellow bruises and heard the excuses before. Maybe you loved the guy, but the thought of someone hurting you like that just makes me want to kill something.” I spoke softly, hoping it would put her at ease.

  I turned, then, to see her still standing on the porch with her head down and her hands covering her face. She was sobbing, softly. I couldn’t help moving toward her, then. I wanted to comfort her, to pull her close and hold her while she cried it out.

  “The last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me. I was out of line and it won’t happen again. I promise.”

  I moved closer still and reached out to touch her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, Marin.”

  Her head nodded but she cried harder. I wasn’t sure if I pulled her close or if she slid her arms around my waist but suddenly, Marin was wrapped in my arms with her head resting on my chest. I rubbed her back gently. “I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips to the top of her head. It felt so good to hold her. Her hair smelled of shampoo and she fit so perfectly inside the circle of my embrace. “I’ll leave if you want, but I’ll be worried.”

  “Don’t leave.” The softly uttered words made me relax and hold her tighter. I felt her fingers curl into the material of shirt at the back of my waist. Nothing had ever felt so right. Maybe I hadn’t ruined our fragile friendship. At least, I prayed I hadn’t because I knew one thing; I wanted to be part of this woman’s life.

  MARIN

  After our embrace, Ben and I separated and entered the farmhouse.

  I’d gone to my room upstairs and Ben stayed in the living room on the couch I’d made up for him. I showered and was wearing a clean pair of pajama shorts and T-shirt.

  Having Ben in the house made me feel better, but my unease was due to something else altogether. His nearness, while comforting, was unnerving. How could I be feeling all of this pent-up desire and emotion when I should be pre-occupied with deciding what I wanted to do about the shop and the ranch, not to mention the terror over the past few days?

  I’d been blind about Carter’s true nature in the beginning and the experience should make me more cautious. My head was telling me that I could be making the same mistake with Ben, but my heart wanted desperately to believe he was everything he seemed. I was probably already in love with him, but that would be stupid and irrational. The last thing I needed was a new relationship when my life was so uncertain. And in a small town, it would look like I was easy, and people would gossip.

  My body was buzzing. Somehow, I’d managed to keep from begging Ben to come upstairs to my room and make love to me. God knew, I wanted him to, but I also knew that my life was a mess, and it would be asking too much for him to take it all on. At least, until I had everything sorted out.

  On the trip to Minneapolis, I’d considered my options. I could sell the ranch, take the insurance money and start over somewhere else. Or, I could stay and rebuild the shop, or stay and just run the horse boarding and get a job in town to supplement the income.

  After the trip home with Ben, I found myself wanting to stay in Jackson. I felt drawn to him in a way I never was with Carter. Carter was good looking and was the first man to really pay attention to me, but Ben was different. I felt like a flower opening whenever I was near him. I sighed and rolled over for the tenth time; my sheet tangled in my bare legs and I kicked at it.

  It was dark in my room, and I’d left the window open so that I could hear the crickets chirping and also anything coming from the barn just in case Siri needed me. A decent breeze was drifting through the room, making the lightweight curtains furl.

  I was exhausted, but part of me was afraid to sleep. I pushed into a sitting position and reached for the scrunchie on my bed stand to twist my damp hair back into a bun on the top of my head. I sucked in a deep breath. I was thirsty, but I didn’t want to wake Ben by going down to the kitchen. He deserved a good night’s sleep.

  Despite my reasoning, I found myself walking softly across the room and into the hallway. The upstairs railing opened over the living room and I crept to the top step to quietly sit down. Peering through the rungs of the bannister, I could see Ben on the couch. He was bare-chested, the sheet low in his waist, but his muscular legs were visible as it tangled between them, as mine had done. His right arm was slung over his eyes and his left hand rested on his stomach. My breath caught. Even in the darkness, his body’s outline, combined with my overactive imagination had my blood racing in my veins. He was magnific
ent. I would have been happy just sitting there watching him sleep.

  Suddenly, Ben sat up, moving with the stealth of a wild animal to the window to look outside. I jumped at his unexpected movement and the old stairs creaked.

  He pivoted in less than a second. “Marin?” he called, scanning the room.

  I stood up so he wouldn’t catch me lurking. “I’m here.”

  Ben visibly relaxed when he saw me at the top of the stairs. “Are you okay?”

  “I was thirsty, but I was trying to be quiet so as not to wake you.”

  “Oh, yeah. I was just dozing.”

  The wooden stairs felt cool to the bottom of my bare feet as I walked down and took a left into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? I have white wine in the refrigerator. It might help us both get some sleep.”

  “Maybe just one glass,” he answered. His voice, softer now, held a husky tone.

  He was wearing the gym shorts he’d had on during the drive and it occurred to me, I should have offered him a shower. “Hey, it was rude of me not to offer you a shower. It might help, too.”

  He laughed out a huff as I removed the bottle of wine from the refrigerator and leaving it open so I could use the light from it to move to the cupboard to take out two glasses.

  “Like it helped you?” Ben asked.

  “Touché,” I said, setting the glasses down with one hand, then pouring the wine into the glasses. “But still, it was rude.”

  “It’s okay. I was thinking, or maybe hoping, I was going to get to help with Siri and a shower might be moot.”

  “I’m not sure it will be tonight. I don’t think so.”

  “Too bad. Do you want me to turn on a light?” he asked as I handed him one of the glasses.

  Electricity ran over every surface of my skin when his fingers briefly brushed mine when taking the glass. I took a small sip from my own glass. “Not really… I mean, we’re already having trouble sleeping and a bright light won’t help.” Heat began to seep up from my neck and under the skin of my face toward my cheeks in a flush. I was grateful for the grey shadows that cloaked the room.

  We stood in the middle of the kitchen, both of us unsure of what to do next.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Not especially. You should try to get some sleep. Do you feel unsafe with me in the house, Marin? Is that why you can’t sleep?” He took a long pull on his wine, nearly emptying his glass.

  My mouth fell open in astonishment. “No. I’m glad you’re here. I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

  He nodded, then set his glass on the table. “That’s how I feel, too. Do you think you can sleep now?”

  I took another swallow of the wine. “I do.”

  “Okay, and you can sleep in. I’ll check on Siri and feed the horses in the morning.”

  “You should be the one to sleep in. You did all of the driving.”

  “I can see you’re going to argue about everything.” He smiled and took a couple of steps closer. His white teeth flashed in the darkness.

  “Not everything. I only argue when I know I’m right.” I laughed.

  “Oh, is that it?” Ben was close enough so that I could see the dimples in his cheeks when he grinned.

  I cocked my head to one side. “Yeah.”

  “We’ll see.” He took my free hand and bent to kiss me on the forehead, sending a shiver right through me. I couldn’t help wishing he’d kissed me on the mouth. This first kiss would be life changing. I was so hungry for him, though I knew I shouldn’t be. “Night, Marin. I’ll put the wine away.”

  “Night.” I took my half full glass and moved away toward the stairs, feeling Ben’s eyes on me the entire way until I disappeared into my room.

  ***

  “Marin!”

  Ben’s voice broke through the haze of sleep.

  “Marin, wake up! Siri’s in labor. At least… she’s laying on the ground, then getting up, and then down over and over. She’s sweating and looks miserable. There is a white sack starting to come out. I don’t know how to help her.” Ben’s words were frantic.

  My eyes opened and I blinked to see Ben looming over me. When his words sank in, I was instantly awake and pushing out of the bed and going over to my dresser. “Okay, give me a minute to throw on some shorts and I’ll be right out. She’s up and down to get the foal into position. It’ll be okay.” I’d seen foaling at least twenty times and all that stuff he described was normal. It was sort of cute that he was acting like an anxious father.

  “I’m going back out there. Poor thing,” Ben said and rushed from the room.

  It was barely dawn. The sun had not yet risen, but the sky glowed orange and purple through my still open window. I threw on some old shorts and quickly pulled my arms from the sleeves of my T-shirt to quickly throw on a bra and then shoved them back through as I ran down the stairs and shoved my feet into my old work shoes that waited by the backdoor. Soon I was running at full speed across the yard toward the barn.

  Ben was inside the stall, softly speaking to Siri and patting her flank.

  “It doesn’t look like her water has broken. You might want to step out or run the risk of getting a warm shower.”

  He looked at me with a look of horror on his face, his eyes wide and his brow crinkled. “Really?”

  I burst out laughing. It was hilarious. This man, who ran fearlessly into raging fires, was cringing at a little amniotic fluid. “Yes!”

  “Oh, gross,” he said, moving with lightning speed on his tiptoes to get out of the stall.

  I couldn’t stop laughing. “Are you sure you’re the superhero who runs into burning buildings? There isn’t anything on the floor yet, Ben.”

  “That’s because I already took out two huge piles of shit before I woke you up,” he said emphatically. He looked like a little boy with his flushed cheeks and exuberant grin.

  “I see,” I said, smiling. I felt myself drowning in his blue eyes. He really was striking. “Well, Siri and I thank you.” I held open the stall gate that Ben had just come through and went inside. The mare was clearly in distress. I put a hand on her neck and moved it over her shoulder toward her stomach. I could see the foal moving inside her, as well as her side heave with the effort of her contractions. Siri stomped and snorted “There we go, baby,” I cooed to her. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “Is she? She looks miserable,” Ben noted.

  “Labor is no fun, that’s for sure. I imagine it’s akin to passing a watermelon.” I continued to drag my hand over the Siri’s side. I wanted to get a good look at her vulva and the white sack starting to extrude. I hoped to see a hoof and nose of the foal soon.

  “Holy shit!” Ben exclaimed. “I’m glad I’m not a girl.”

  I smiled to myself. I was glad, too.

  Siri moved away from me and laid down on her side. It was painful watching her drop to her knees in front. That alone had to hurt. Thank goodness for the thick layer of bedding Ben had laid down early this morning when we’d arrived back at the ranch. Siri kicked her back legs out stiff behind her. It was clear she was pushing.

  “What can I do?” Ben asked anxiously.

  “Go to that old cupboard where I got the flashlight last night and grab the stack of clean towels, the squeegee thing, and those long rubber gloves and tall rubber boots. There are two sets. My uncle’s should fit you. The squeegee looks like one of those things used to clean out a baby’s nose, only much bigger.”

  “Got it.” He disappeared from the stall and I crouched near Siri’s haunches. “Come on, baby. You’re okay, Siri. I’m right here. I’ll help as soon as your little one makes an appearance.”

  I had to be sure the foal was face first. Two weeks earlier, I’d wrapped the first twelve inches of Siri’s tail in a bandage to keep it away from the birthing foal; it could contain bacteria that might cause infection. It also helped me see what was going on with the baby.

  “I found two pairs of gloves and boots. I have them.”


  I glanced up at Ben who was still outside the stall. “Okay.” I stood up and walked the few feet across the smallish stall toward him. The birthing stalls were a little smaller than the others with heat lamps hanging from the ceiling. I wouldn’t turn them on until right before the foal was born. “Thank you for getting them.” I reached out to take the stack of towels from him.

  “Aren’t you worried about getting doused?” Ben asked.

  “Not really.”

  “Here are the boots.” Ben handed them over and I stepped into them.

  “As soon as I see the foal’s foot, I’ll help Siri by breaking her water. Then it’s controlled and the baby will come faster. Since she’s laying on her side it will help.”

  “Will she stay lying down? I Googled it last week during a slow shift and horses get up and down.”

  “They can. I just hope she doesn’t.” I set the towels down on the floor near the opposite wall.

  “Pbrrrrbbbbb,” Siri snorted, her legs stiffening again as she strained to push her foal out.

  The white sack of fluid at her vagina got larger and a small hoof appeared. “Oh, thank God,” I said with a relieved sigh.

  “What?” Ben asked. “What happened?”

  I pointed toward the obvious. “Do you see that? It’s a hoof.”

  “This is amazing.” Ben was astonished as he watched. “Thank you for letting me be here, Marin.”

  “You’ve earned it; besides, I might need your help.” I smiled brightly; happy he was with me.

  “Gladly.” He winked.

  After a few more hard pushes, the leg and nose started to show outside Siri’s body, but encapsulated in the milky white amniotic sack that was ballooning with fluid.

  I put on the gloves Ben had retrieved from the cabinet. The rubber went up my forearms and just over my elbows. “Ouch,” I complained as I crouched down. The spikey hay jabbed my knees and thighs when I knelt behind Siri, reminding me that should have put on long pants, but now it was too late. The rubber boots covered my calves, at least, but made bending down more difficult.