Embracing Today, a firefighter romance: (The Trading Yesterday Series, #3)

by Kahlen Aymes

  “Isn’t it?” I agreed miserably.

  “Is he coming out here later? For the horses, I mean?”

  I put my hand out and patted Siri’s nose, then rested my forehead against hers. I didn’t want Gina to see how red my face was. It must be, if the heat flushing my cheeks was any indication. I closed my eyes and sucked in a shaky breath.

  “Yes. He insists that I can’t care for them yet.” I wasn’t sure that Ben would be back because it was uncertain if the fire he was fighting was getting under control.

  “Well, he’s right. You shouldn’t be lifting anything yet. Cracked ribs take time to heal.”

  “I know, but I feel guilty asking him to continue to help out.” I couldn’t deny the pain and stiffness I still felt, but I wanted to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

  “So? He seems like the type to enjoy hard work. What time is he coming over?” Her question held more than surface curiosity and it stung.

  “I’m not sure. He usually comes out around five or six, I think? Except he’s fighting a big blaze on the northern range.” I ran a nervous hand through my long hair, pushing it back off of my face in the process.

  Gina turned to lean her shoulder on the stall gate. “Oh, yeah. I heard about that on the radio on my way out here. It’s a pretty big one.”

  I’d planned on listening to the news after I’d checked on the foal and dealt with the vet. “Yeah. He told me.”

  “He did? What’s going on with you two?” Gina’s coy curiosity was crystal clear.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head uncomfortably, moving away to the feed stall to get a handful of alfalfa and offered it to Siri when I came back. “He’s just been helping out and naturally, I’m concerned for his safety. It’s dangerous work.”

  Her questioning eyes left me unsettled. Deep down, I hoped Ben was more than a friend, but how could I know for sure? I was feeling fragile, and he was used to rescuing people. I didn’t want that to be the reason for the start of something to develop between us.

  “Does it make you feel uncomfortable? I mean, having any man around this much right after Carter’s death? It must remind you.”

  “Everything reminds me, Gina, but I’m thankful for Ben’s help,” I said stiffly. “He’s been a perfect gentleman.”

  She looked surprised. “Oh, I wasn’t suggesting otherwise. I just meant Ben being one of the firemen on the scene could be weird.”

  “Well, it’s not. Ben has become a friend, just as you have. You’ve both been wonderful.”

  She must have sensed my trepidation at the direction of the conversation. “Awww! That’s sweet of you to say.” Gina’s smile was genuine. “Do you need anything at the house? I can drive you into town if you need to get groceries or anything.”

  Instantly, I felt ashamed at my brief moment of annoyance. If I were honest with myself, it was more Gina’s interest in Ben than her bringing up Carter’s death that bothered me. But why shouldn’t she be interested in him? He was single, she was single, both attractive as hell… why shouldn’t they hook up, especially since it was way too soon for me to want him? My heart fell sickeningly into my stomach. She had no way of knowing that I was attracted to him.

  “The vet should be here any minute, so I should wait for him. But thank you.”

  “Oh, is something wrong?”

  “I don’t think so. Just a check-up after foaling.”

  “Oh, that makes sense.” Her eyes lit up excitedly. “But maybe we can grab lunch later?” When I hesitated, her face fell a bit and she continued. “Or I can bring out anything you need if you’d rather not go into town.”

  “I have to make some phone calls to the insurance companies to file the claims after the accident, and I have no idea how long that will take. My car was a total loss as well as the business.”

  “How is it going with Mama and her new baby, Marin?” Dr. Porter’s voice echoed through the barn as he made his way toward us. I couldn’t believe how relieved I was when he made his appearance at that moment. He was similar in age to my Uncle Leonard, and they were life-long friends. He was almost like another uncle to me.

  “Oh, hey, Doc! They both seem okay. I don’t think any of the placenta is missing.”

  “That’s wonderful!” the doctor exclaimed. “Has Siri allowed him to nurse yet?”

  Gina and I stepped back to allow him into the stall with Siri and her foal. He was carrying a very large duffle bag, which he set down just inside the stall and unzipped it.

  “Yes. I think it’s all good.”

  He moved forward and slid a hand down Siri’s flank. “Do you have the afterbirth? I’d like to take a look at it after I check out this fine young man.”

  “Yep. I’ll be right back.” I’d put it in a plastic bag inside the old refrigerator that resided at the other end of the barn and I rushed to get it.

  “You keep it?” Gina asked, horrified. “Oh my God! That’s gross!”

  Dr. Porter laughed heartily. “Only until I check it for missing pieces.”

  I smiled as I listened to Gina groan. I hurried and retrieved the bag, then ran back to the stall. Gina was still talking with Dr. Porter when I set the bag on the concrete by his duffle bag.

  “Then what happens to it?” she asked.

  “I can take it back to my office and put it with other medical waste. I have a service that disposes of it,” Dr. Porter explained.

  “Uncle Leonard would sometimes burn it in a barrel out back,” I added upon my return to the pair.

  “Ewww!” Gina moaned. “I didn’t think it could get any nastier.”

  I laughed as Dr. Porter shot me an amused look as he chuckled.

  He had finished his examination of Siri and her foal and had moved on to the contents of the bag, bending to untie the knot I’d placed in the white plastic bag. “You might want to leave for this, miss” he suggested.

  “Oh!” I exclaimed, realizing I hadn’t introduced them. “Dr. Porter, this is my friend, Gina.”

  “Nice to meet you, Doctor. Marin, can we step away?” Gina asked with a cringe. “Before he gets to that?”

  I couldn’t help my amusement. “You’re a nurse. What’s a little afterbirth?” I teased.

  “Ugh. God, it looks like it’s a lot.”

  “About twenty pounds,” I confirmed, with a short laugh.

  “Yuk!” Gina started moving toward the exit without waiting for me. “Let’s talk out by my car. Please?”

  “I’ll be right behind you! Dr. Porter, so they’re both okay?”

  He continued his work, examining the contents of the bag by pulling it out and holding it up, searching for rips or holes. When he was finished his examination, he returned the afterbirth to the bag, tied it shut, and shot me a wink. “A nurse, huh? Surly this can’t be any worse than emptying dirty bed pans, but maybe that’s just me.” He laughed gruffly.

  Dr. Porter made me giggle. “I think the nurse’s aides to the dirty work, Doc.”

  “That explains it” He chuckled again. “They’re both fit as a fiddle.”

  “Awesome.” A big smile split spread across my face.

  “You did a good job. Run along with your friend, Marin. I’ll finish up.” he insisted. He had known me since I first arrived to live with Uncle Leonard, and he still treated me like a young girl.

  “Okay, but don’t forget to send me a bill.” I knew he wouldn’t. He hadn’t since Uncle Leonard died.

  “Okay, sure.”

  “I mean it!”

  “Uh huh,” he used a gloved hand to shoo me away. I’d learned over the years that it was no use arguing with the old man who was like family. He was sometimes grumpy and surly, but with a heart of gold.

  I found Gina waiting by her car, and Gem waddled along at my side as we emerged into the bright light of day. It was warm, but not hot, and the breeze made for a comfortable morning. “So? Do you want to go into town? My day is all yours! You can catch me up on the details of your trip to Minnesota.”

&nbs
p; I had no reason to hide anything from Gina. She’d been so nice. No reason, except I didn’t want to tell her that Ben had come to get me, or the details about the road trip home. I was worried if I shared too many details about Carter’s family and the attempted kidnapping, then the rest would follow, or I’d have to make something up and I was a terrible liar. I knew this about myself.

  “I’d love to shop with you sometime, Gina, but I just got back and spent all night up with Siri. I’m tired and Gem missed me. I want to spend some time playing with her and getting those calls to the insurance companies made. Maybe I’ll get a nap later, too.”

  “Oh, okay. I understand, but listen, when you feel better, I’d love to hang out.”

  “Sure.” I bent to pick up my puppy, holding her against my chest and kissing the top of her head as I petted her silky black coat. “Me, too. I was just telling Ben that I was feeling guilty because Carter’s death brought the two of you into my life and you’re both so wonderful. I mean, I’m truly blessed to know the two of you.”

  Gina offered a genuine smile and covered her heart with both hands. “Well, I’m glad we’ve become friends, Marin, but I knew what you meant.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Maybe we can all hang out sometime, too,” she suggested happily. She was so pretty. Her vibrant red hair the perfect foil for her green eyes. “Ben, too?” she asked hopefully.

  “Sure, I can ask him.”

  “How are your other injuries healing?” Gina asked as we hovered around her car. “That’s the real reason I stopped out.”

  “Oh, nothing hurts except a twinge in the ribs here and there.”

  “It is probably best if you rest, but if decide you need anything I can bring dinner later, if you’re too tired to cook.” She paused and met my eyes. “If Ben will be here working, I can bring enough for him, too,” she said coyly.

  “I don’t know how long he’ll be here. He may just feed the horses and leave. At this point I don’t even know what time because of the fire.” I wished Gina would just come out and say she wanted to me to hook them up instead of dancing around it. I was probably being overly sensitive, but something akin to pain took root in my chest. I had no claim to Ben, and it would be weird and unseemly to get into another relationship this soon after Carter’s death. Especially, when I felt responsible for it. Ben and Gina were both good people and I shouldn’t stand in their way.

  “That’s okay. I’ll still bring you something, either way. I don’t have any other plans and I’d love to find out what Ben names that little guy.”

  I forced a smile. “Sure. That’s nice of you. Gina.”

  “Okay! See you later, then! I’m off!” She hopped into her car and backed up to head out of the driveway.

  I kissed the top of Gem’s head again as I watched her leave. Why did I feel so awful?

  “Come on, baby. Let’s get this call out of the way.”

  I took the puppy inside and up to my room, then set her on my bed. She found a cozy spot near my pillows to curl up and was asleep in seconds. I took my cell phone from the back pocket of my shorts before sitting down on the bed’s edge for the tedious task of determining exactly what our liability coverage was for the business. An hour and a half later, the claims with the business and car insurance companies were filed, and I could finally relax. I had explained the situation with Carter and was told that they would need to access the police and fire commissioners’ reports, as well as the coroner’s, but the woman was nice and offered her condolences, telling me she’d reach out as soon as she had approval.

  I rolled over to curl around the pup and thought about Gina and Ben. “Ughhhhhh!” I moaned miserably.

  “What am I going to do, Gem?” My throat got thick just thinking about it. I couldn’t help my feelings for Ben, though I’d probably be labeled the floozy of Jackson if we started dating this soon after Carter’s death, and it might raise suspicion that I didn’t want raised. Deep down, I felt responsible for Carter’s accident, so maybe I didn’t deserve someone as wonderful as Ben. I had no right to tell Gina I wanted him.

  I swallowed hard and wiped an errant tear that had slipped from my eye away. I sucked in a shaky breath. “Ben,” I murmured his name with a tangible ache in my voice. He was out there somewhere being a hero. Again.

  Gem was still sleeping soundly at my side as I stroked her little body. My eyes were sleepy, but the turmoil inside was preventing me from getting in the nap I needed. As the hours passed, I’d become more and more worried about Ben. His job was so dangerous.

  I reached for my phone to see if I could get any new updates on the fire, but it still wasn’t contained. After a few more seconds, I started typing out a text to Ben. I was sure he wouldn’t see it until his work was finished, but I hoped he’d ease my worry more quickly than the news and text me when he was finished.

  Afterward, I finally laid back on my pillows and closed my eyes, still holding my phone.

  BEN

  Finally, we got the fire under control, but it was just after midnight. I was so sticky and sweaty; it felt as if the night air had glued my clothes to my skin.

  Each of the stations responding had taken a section and worked in unison until we’d snuffed the entire thing out. The fire covered over a ten thousand acres of forest and we were all spent. My arms and legs felt like wet noodles. We used the combined methods of air drops and fire breaks to get it under control. The muscles in my neck, back, and shoulders ached from the fifteen hours of chopping and sawing down trees to deprive the fire of fuel.

  I was exhausted and covered in soot. I hadn’t had a moment to check my phone until the trip back to Jackson and was hoping Marin had been in touch. Though I’d normally shower before I went home, it was the middle of the night and I had to be back at the station early in the morning.

  I was pleased to see there were two messages from her. One telling me not to worry about the horses and another sent a little later checking up on me. I smiled as I read it. It made me so damn happy that she was worried. I found myself smiling like a giddy schoolboy.

  Hey, just checking in to make sure you’re safe. When you’re able, let me know, no matter how late it is.

  My heart sped up at her words. Maybe I wasn’t crazy. Maybe there was something happening between us and I hadn’t imagined the incredible pull I felt every time I was near her. She would be sleeping by now, but I tapped out a response anyway.

  I’m done for the night. The fire is finally contained, and we’re headed back. I have to work my regular shift later, but I’ll stop out and feed the horses, early morning. Thanks for checking up on me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you tonight.

  It wasn’t long until my phone pinged in response. Again, my lips slid into a huge grin and Davis noticed.

  “It’s kind of early to get involved with that woman, isn’t it, Ben?” he asked knowingly. “You warned me off of her and now you’re trying to hit it?”

  I scowled at my friend, my brow furrowing beneath my helmet. “I’m not trying to hit it, dickhead,” I retorted angrily. “She needs help right now. Not that it’s any of your damned business.”

  Davis smiled slyly, the white of his teeth flashing against his dirty face and the cover of night. “Uh huh,” was all he said. “Well, the fire commissioner ruled the fire at her business was an accident. The report came down while you were away, and I didn’t have time to tell you before this job.”

  My expression softened. At least that was some good news. I wasn’t aware that they even spoke to Marin yet. At least, she hadn’t mentioned it. “Good. That’s something at least.”

  “Is she going to rebuild? If it were me, I’d just take the cash. I mean, she doesn’t have any shop experience, right?”

  I wasn’t sure what she was going to do because, again, it wasn’t something we’d discussed in detail. It dawned on me that if she didn’t rebuild, she might sell the ranch and move out of Wyoming. She didn’t have any other family in Jackson and running th
e ranch alone might get overwhelming. More than anything, if she moved and Carter’s family didn’t know where she lived, those slimy bastards from Minneapolis couldn’t harm her. I sucked in a breath. If I looked at the situation objectively, that would probably be the best thing for her, so why did my gut get so tight when I thought about it. I mean, it literally ached.

  “She has done the administrative work for years, but I’m not sure of her plans. I think she’s still in shock over the whole thing and may mull it over for a bit. She’s been through a lot, Davis. Her uncle passed away a few months ago, too.”

  “I remember,” Davis answered. “If that forlorn look on your face means anything, I’d say you better make sure she stays around here… because I’ll kick your ass if you follow her. I’m not helping you move again.”

  Davis and I were facing each other in the left rear passenger compartment of the engine as we drove back to Jackson. I leaned back in my seat and stared at him. “We’re friends. Am I attracted to her? Yes. I’d have to be dead not to be, Davis.”

  His eyes widened. As we got into town and we passed under a streetlight, I could see his expression despite the smoke stains and soot around his eyes and mouth, and the line where his mask had been. “True, that,” he agreed emphatically. “What about the guy who died? Her boyfriend, right? It’s got to be too soon for her.”

  Davis was my closest friend and I felt comfortable sharing.

  “Exactly, but the prick was abusive. She had a few cracked ribs and some bruises after the fire, but some of the bruises were yellow and green so obviously from before. She fell running back to her ranch, but she wasn’t thrown from the blast, so the ribs were from before, too.”

  “Oh, shit,” Davis said. “That’s bad.”

  We had to speak loudly due to the open cab and the roaring of the engine, though the roads were relatively empty due to the hour.

  “Yeah, if that bastard wasn’t already dead, I swear to God, I’d kill him.”

  Davis studied me. I knew what he was thinking; I was screwed. “What did you find when you got to Minneapolis? I guess he wasn’t much different from his family, huh?” Davis asked astutely. “Is that situation sorted out?”