by Kahlen Aymes
If only I knew. “I’m thinking no. That’s another reason I need to stay close.”
“You can’t be out there on the ranch the nights you have to overnight at the station, so how is that going to work?”
I shrugged, though the heavy turnout coat I wore hid the movement. “I don’t know, yet.”
“How many of them were there?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t get to see any of them. Marin was already away from them by the time I got to her and she didn’t want to go get her suitcase that was still in the brother’s car. She said there were a few men and a few women there, and it appeared they all lived under one roof.”
“A regular commune…” Davis said.
“Marin said it seemed more like a gang than a family.”
“Scary shit. Well, if you need any help, just let me know.”
“Thanks.” I nodded and looked out the window. Davis was a good man and better friend, but I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
I had a twelve-hour shift ahead of me and the gravity of the fire we’d just fought meant all of us that were coming on duty at 6 AM were already on duty coming up on 1 AM. Our asses would be dragging, but maybe we could stagger in a couple of hours of sleep. We had to clean up the engine, gear and equipment to ready it for the next fire, as well as the other duties that occupied us during the day. Thankfully, it wasn’t my day for banging pots. Cooking wasn’t something I loved doing and half asleep, no way.
My phone pinged again.
I figured you’d be tired and hungry, so I made up the couch and left a sandwich and some cookies on the table. I know you have to work tomorrow, and I thought it might be easier than going home. Your choice.
I was elated. My heart soaring. She was so thoughtful, and this would mean I could sleep another hour. Maybe she was scared to be alone but afraid to tell me. Either way, I was happy to stay over. She was an angel.
That sounds good. Thank you.
You remember where the spare key is?
There are drinks in the refrigerator, and you know where the shower and towels are. Help yourself.
You’re awesome. Get some sleep. I’ll be quiet when I come in.
I was sure my heart would burst with satisfaction. This didn’t mean we had a relationship, but it sure as hell meant Marin trusted me. Now if only I could make her see how amazing she was. I wanted to wipe all of the self-doubt and pain out of her life. I wanted it as if my own life depended on it. In the meantime, I knew what I had to do.
MARIN
My life fell into an easy routine and I felt as if a huge weight had lifted because Carter was no longer in my life. I never realized how he had dragged me down, how awful he made me feel about myself, or how scared I was every moment in his presence.
The time I spent with Ben had made it all so crystal clear. Being with Ben was the best part of my day. I looked forward to seeing him, but I knew he wouldn’t be keeping up the twice daily visits and staying for dinner now that I was feeling better. After I was healed and I could take care of the horses myself, he’d no longer have an excuse to come out to the ranch, though he was growing close to Siri’s foal.
He and his nephew, Dylan, had settled on the name, Dark, for the new colt. It couldn’t be more appropriate for our almost black baby, and I simply adored it. It was perfect for the frisky little horse, and my heart melted every time I saw how tender Ben was with the little colt, and how Dark would always snort, neigh and trot toward Ben whenever he saw him coming. It was definitely a mutual affection, and it was special. I melted every time.
I hoped with all my heart that the camping trip Ben mentioned before would come to fruition very soon. There was still a good portion of the summer left but the first snowfall was unpredictable, and it would be better to plan the camping trip for no later than October first.
I’d decided not to rebuild the shop, for now at least; happy when the local diner owner, Arlene Reynolds, called me and offered me a job from 6 AM – 3 PM five days a week. I would be starting in ten days. I barely remembered applying because it was the day Carter died, and I’d been so focused on getting away from him. I was a bit surprised by her call, but I knew I would enjoy a low stress job that I could leave behind at quitting time. Even if it made little use of my education, I felt it would give me a chance to figure out what I really wanted to do while making enough money to pay for utilities and groceries.
After the fire commissioner’s report came in and the claim was filed, the insurance company soon approved it. I was waiting on a pretty sizable settlement, but I thought it best to bank it until I made some more tangible decisions about my future. I’d given them Carter’s mother’s phone number so they could contact the family directly about the accidental death claim, though I wasn’t sure of the status. The sooner I was able to distance from that family, the better.
Today, on my follow-up appointment, the doctor had cleared me to do light lifting; the cracks in my ribs were knitted and healing nicely, and the ugly green and purple bruises had finally disappeared. Maybe now, Ben wouldn’t be reminded of the abuse every time he looked at me, but it would also mean I wouldn’t need him to help at the ranch. I exhaled sadly at the thought. I would miss him more than I wanted to admit and hoped we’d still keep in touch afterward.
Gina continued to pester me about Ben and so far, I’d managed to skirt the issue, but it was beginning to wear on me. She made me promise to schedule a casual run-in at the Mangy Moose, one of the more popular local hangouts, so she could talk to him without being conspicuous, and it would be better to take myself out as intermediary. My heart wasn’t in it, but tonight was the night we had all settled on. Gina was picking me up and we were meeting Ben and a couple of his friends at the Moose.
Ben worked four twelve-hour shifts per week but had tomorrow off, so I felt better about asking him to meet us out knowing he could sleep in in the morning.
Oh, who was I kidding? I felt sick to my stomach. I knew exactly what was going to happen and I wasn’t sure I could stand watching Gina cozy up to Ben… which, I admitted to myself, wasn’t my business. He wasn’t my boyfriend… I was just lucky to call him my friend.
“Ugh!” I moaned as I picked out a floral chemise to wear over my favorite jean shorts.
It was a warm night and I’d chosen to wear my long hair pulled up into a messy bun and had put on only light make-up; mascara and a light pink lip gloss. The only jewelry I wore were the simple half-carat diamond stud earrings that Uncle Leonard had given me for my eighteenth birthday.
I went downstairs and was in the middle of straightening up the kitchen, more to settle my nerves than because it needed it, when Gina arrived. She was all smiles and looked gorgeous in a lime green dress and heels that perfectly complimented her deep red hair and emerald eyes, showing off her long legs and perky, voluptuous breasts. I suddenly regretted my casual wardrobe choices.
“Hey, girl! Are you ready?” Gina beamed. The smile on her face made her even more beautiful. “I’m so excited!” She laughed nervously. “Nervous, though.” She walked into the kitchen where I was adding a boiled egg to Gem’s dry kibble.
I glanced at her with a brief smile before placing the puppy’s dish on the kitchen floor in front of her. Gem immediately dove into it with relish.
“You don’t need to be nervous,” I said. “It’s not as if it’s a first date.” I cringed inwardly. My words almost sounded bitchy, and I instantly regretted them. “I mean, it’s just a casual night out with friends.”
She didn’t seem to notice the slip. “I know, but this is the first time I’ll really be able to talk to Ben. I invited some colleagues, from the hospital, to meet us at the bar. I thought the more the merrier and, even better, I invited my super handsome doctor-friend, Ross, to meet you. I think you and he would be great together!” she gusted. “He’s so gorgeous.”
I tried to muster some enthusiasm, but wondered why, if this Ross was so amazing, why wasn’t Gina interested herself? “Awesome. T
hank you.” My lips lifted in a half smile.
Gina walked forward and grabbed both of my hands in hers. “Cheer up, Marin. This will be fun. You look so pretty.”
My eyebrows raised skeptically, but I offered a nod. “Thanks.”
Gem was finished with her dinner and I bent to pick her up and give her a snuggle. “Be a good girl for mommy, Gemmy.” I kissed her on the top of her head and gave her little body a squeeze. “I feel guilty leaving her alone in this big house, especially after the sun goes down.”
“She’s a dog. They sleep all the time, right?” Gina put in. “Leave the radio on for her or something.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I turned on the television in the living room, hoping the noise and the light would comfort the little pup.
After I’d locked the house, we were on our way to the infamous Mangy Moose. It was a combination saloon and restaurant with a huge dance floor. Gina spent the entire fifteen-minute drive chatting away, speaking aloud her hopes for the evening.
As much as I was looking forward to seeing Ben, I wished it were just the two of us.
“I should have asked you to drive, Marin. You never know what will happen over the course of the evening.”
“You mean, you’re planning on going home with Ben?” I asked cautiously, my heart beginning to beat in a heavy, grotesque thump.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that this was her goal. I mean, he was super sexy. I had to admit, even I had my fantasies in the weeks since we met. I had dreams about his muscled body taking command of mine more than once. Thinking of him with anyone else made me feel sick inside. I stared out the window.
I could see Gina’s happy face glance in my direction through my peripheral vision before she looked back at the road. She shrugged. “Well, I mean, if it goes well. I don’t usually hook up with guys right away, but he’s so yummy. Oh, my God, Marin… I’m so excited!” she gushed.
I swallowed hard as my heart fell into my stomach. She was very pretty with the confidence to tempt any red-blooded male. “Yeah,” I answered shortly as she parked in the crowded parking lot on the west side of the bar. “I can tell.”
“Yeah? Can I get a hell-yeah?” she asked enthusiastically. “I’ve been waiting for this ever since I saw him in your hospital room!”
She made it sound like it had been years, when it was just a few weeks. “It hasn’t been that long, Gina,” I said caustically, pulling open the door and hopping out, my cowboy boots clacking on the pavement of the parking lot as I landed.
“Well, Ross will keep you occupied. He’s super cool.”
We started walking toward the entrance, passing several others leaving the restaurant and following a new crowd into the bar. “Why aren’t you dating him, then?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Oh, he’s great, but I think because we work together, it’s just not in the cards.”
There were a couple of bouncers checking ID’s and taking the small cover charge. I handed both over and the burly man checking mine nodded. “Have a great time.”
The other bouncer had checked Gina’s driver’s license and collected her money. Inside was loud and filled with modern country music. There was a golden glow from the low lights and people everywhere.
My eyes searched for Ben, but it was impossible to see beyond the few tables in front of the dance floor, the long lines at the bar, and the couples dancing. There was no way to find him without texting or just wandering around in search of him.
“Do you want to get a drink, Marin? I’m parched!” Gina said loudly over the music playing.
“Sure!” I answered. Standing in line waiting our turn, I texted Ben.
We’re here. In line at that bar.
I’ll come find you. We have a table in the corner.
“What’ll you have?” The good-looking bartender almost shouted at us. We were crammed with a crowd, body-to-body, at the mahogany bar. The floors were hardwood and there were wonderful smells of grilled steak and bar-b-que permeating from the connected restaurant.
Gina ordered a light beer and I asked for a glass of white wine. After we received our drinks we turned, ready to push our way through the crowd and away from the bar. My eyes connected with a pair of smiling cornflower blue ones a few rows back as he towered over those in front of him. Somehow, he’d honed right in on us. I smiled at the sight of him, and Ben winked.
“Excuse me,” he said to a few others who blocked our way. “Please let the ladies through.” He used his hands to motion for the crowd to part so Gina and I could pass.
It wasn’t hard to see the appreciative glances on a few of the women’s faces fall to disappointment at Ben’s request.
He was dressed in a nice light blue button down, untucked over dark jeans and black boots. The shirt was tailored and tapered from his broad shoulders to the trim waist on his tall frame. His hair was combed, held in place with a light gel, and the scruff on his strong jaw just making for a very masculine shadow.
“Wow,” Gina breathed behind me as we approached him.
“Ladies,” he flashed a brilliant smile showing the dimples in both cheeks. “You both look amazing!” As I approached, Ben slid a hand down my bare arm, and it sent shivers rocketing straight through me. “We’re over here,” he nodded to the far corner, near the edge of the dance floor. His hand slid around to rest on the back of my waist.
“Hi, Ben. Nice to see you again,” Gina said as she beamed up into his face.
“You, too,” he answered politely.
Three men occupied the round six-top table, but there were three empty chairs, two together and one between the two of the men already occupying the space. I’d told Ben Gina was coming with me and asked him to bring a friend or two with him, though I didn’t think the table would accommodate Ross and more of Gina’s friends.
A beer sat on the table in front of one of the empty chairs, which I assumed was where Ben had been seated. The other three men stood as we approached. I recognized Ben’s friend, Davis, but couldn’t remember the names of the other two.
“Gina, Marin, these are my friends, Davis, Marcus, and Jake.” Ben made the introductions. “We work together.”
“Are all firefighters this handsome?” Gina asked, openly flirting. “My goodness!”
I couldn’t believe she’d say something so sickeningly sweet and obvious. I crossed my arms and willed myself not to roll my eyes. Maybe she was just nervous, but… gag. I was a little surprised that she would be so bold.
They were certainly all very attractive and were the epitome of chivalry; remaining on their feet until Gina and I were both seated, each in one of the empty chairs. Gina was quick to take the one between Davis and Ben, leaving Marcus to offer me one between him and Jake.
Ben opened his mouth to say something, then promptly stopped himself, meeting my eyes apologetically. At least, I knew he’d planned on sitting next to me and it afforded a little comfort, and a lot of regret, as I resigned myself to make the best of the evening. It was certain that all of Ben’s friends must be affable or they wouldn’t be Ben’s friends.
I smiled as I sat down and the two of them started to speak to me at once. They were both engaging and sweet, but I was painfully aware of what was going on across from me, even as I tried to interact with them. Gina was leaning in toward Ben as the two of them spoke, and Davis looked on with an exasperated expression on his face, while nursing his drink.
Ben’s eyes shot to me across the table, but I quickly looked away diverting my attention to Jake as he asked me some of the questions people ask when trying to get to know someone new.
I didn’t want to be rude to Jake or Marcus, plus I didn’t want Ben to be able to sense how uncomfortable I felt. I did my best to smile and keep my focus on the charming men closest to me. I was painfully tenacious to make sure my face didn’t show how upset and unnerved I was at not being near Ben, not being able to speak to him, or not being able to make sure that he didn’t take Gina home.
&n
bsp; “So? Are you planning on rebuilding The Shop? My best friend, Dave Granger, used to be one of the mechanics.”
I dragged my eyes away from Gina who just bust out laughing at something Ben said and then the two of them got up and moved away from the table toward the dance floor. I shifted in my chair and leaned my elbows on the tables, running my hands up and down my bare arms. “Um…” I ripped my eyes back to Jake’s face. “Doesn’t he already have another job?”
“Oh, sure,” Jake replied, “but I’m sure he’d want to come back if it were an option. He worked there for ten years and he really respected your uncle.”
“He was a good guy. My uncle really liked him.”
“Listen, I’m really sorry about your boyfriend.”
“Thank you.” I reached for my almost empty glass of wine and took a sip. “I’m pretty sure Dave hated Carter… with good reason.”
“Well, he did at the end, anyway, but I wasn’t going to mention it.”
“Understandable. Don’t worry. I know a lot of people didn’t like Carter.”
Jake’s brow dropped and he looked like he was searching for the right thing to say in an awkward situation.
“Listen, it’s okay. It doesn’t really matter.”
“I’m still sorry. I feel like an ass bringing it up,” he admitted.
I couldn’t really say Hey, no worries, he was a first-class bastard and I ended up hating him, too, so I did the best that I could. “No, really, it’s fine,” I assured him.
“I’m going to the bar for another beer. Anyone else?” Marcus asked.
“Why don’t you just get another pitcher?” Jake asked. “I’ll buy the next one.”
“Sure thing. Would you like another glass of wine, Marin?”
I smiled up at the blond man who was a lot shyer than his two counterparts. “Thank you, Marcus.”
He looked pleased but hovered near my chair before walking toward the bar. “You can call me Mark, and would it be okay if…. I mean…. can I have a dance when I get back with the drinks? I’m not too good at two stepping, but I’ll sure try.” His face was flushed with excitement. He was clearly younger than me or the rest of his crew. He seemed barely twenty-one.
