by Kahlen Aymes
I felt sick. I had my entire life living near mountains and Yellowstone. There had been fires throughout the years and I always felt bad for the animals that lost their lives… and firefighters; there were often firefighters who died. I closed my eyes as the female anchor droned on and on with the details.
Missy moved to sit on the couch next to me. I was curled up in the corner, with my legs beneath me. Her hand reached out to lay a hand on my knee. “Ben’s going to be okay. We have to be positive, Marin. It seems more under control, now.”
I realized she was only trying to comfort me, but I was terrified. “Aren’t you afraid? It’s been an entire day.”
“Sure, but he loves what he does. I’ve always known it was risky, but it’s his choice. He’s well trained and he’s strong as an ox. He’s taken fire technology training. He knows how fires react to certain situations. He’s not walking in blind.”
I took another sip of the tea. The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. “Logically, I know all of that, but I’m still so scared.”
Teagan was sitting in the chair to my left, turned toward the two of us on the sofa. “These men we chose to love are complicated, Marin. Chase would have gone with Ben, and so would Jensen, if they were allowed. It’s their nature to protect, and isn’t that what we love about them?” Her voice was gentle and kind. “I know that Chase’s job isn’t dangerous like Ben’s, but he’s in the air flying thousands of miles, almost every week, all season. He’s flying more than he’s on the ground, and I worry all the time, but he wouldn’t be Chase if he couldn’t play the game, and Ben wouldn’t be Ben without fighting fires.”
Tears stung at the back of my eyes and I nodded. “I know. I love that he’s brave and always trying to help people, I’m just afraid because Carter died in a fire right in front of me. I hated him at the end, but it was so horrible to watch… and hear.” My voice cracked and I fisted the hand not holding my mug and brought it to my mouth.
Missy’s hand tightened on my leg. “I’m so sorry, Marin. Ben told me Carter was careless and he’d been drinking. Ben would never be that reckless.”
Missy was trying to be reassuring, and I knew she was right. I trusted Ben to be careful, but fires were unpredictable.
“I have this recurring nightmare where I relive the fire and Carter’s face as he’s screaming, changes into Ben’s.” My words trembled as they dropped from my lips. “I’ve seen it in my mind several times. Ben and I haven’t known each other very long, but if something happened to him, I don’t think I’d survive. I wouldn’t want to.”
Gemmy jumped up on the couch between us, laid her little head on my lap, and then licked at my hand. Missy smiled gently and began to stroke the puppy down her back. “This little one knows you’re sad.”
“She’s intuitive, but I don’t want her to feel sad, too.” I put down the tea and gathered Gem onto my lap. The warmth of her against me was comforting. “She loves Ben. She runs after him everywhere he goes.”
“He adores her,” Missy nodded.
Teagan’s eyes were glossy with tears and she quickly dashed a tear from one of her eyes.
The television anchor was reporting that there was a crew missing and they had sent in a rescue team of firefighters and EMTs with the aerial drops supporting their efforts and making a path.
Every fire crew on the range had been called in and the reporters were kept a good distance away, but their station helicopter had aerial shots of the scene. The red and orange flashing lights of the trucks were scattered up and down the path of the fire, and more of police cars on the roads created barricades so traffic was turned away. There was one reporter who managed to get through and was stationed as close as possible by two of the trucks where there were men and women working to hook up one of the tanker trucks. Water was being pumped at high pressure onto one section of the fire.
The screen flashed with an “exclusive report” logo and the women in the studio transitioned to young woman on scene. I couldn’t help but stare at the screen.
“The dark of night might make rescue efforts more difficult, and we will continue to try to talk to one of the firefighters to ask about their progress,” the woman said but was soon rebuked.
“Get out of here!” An older man in full fire gear came forward waving his arms. “You news people should not be here.”
“Can I just get a statement?” the reporter asked. “Any news on the lost crew?”
“You people. We’re kinda busy, lady” he shook his head, clearly disgusted. “Get out of here. We have enough to do without worrying about your crew. They’ve evacuated the town, so you need to leave and let us alone to do our job! Now!”
“People want to know! Just a couple of questions,” the reporter pushed.
“No. Get out of here, now or I’ll have you arrested.”
Teagan rose and grabbed the remote, changing the channel. “How on earth did those reporters even get in there? The footage showed the roads blocked off by police.”
“Reporters are paid to get the story,” Missy said. “But when people’s lives are at stake they need to back off.”
“Thank goodness, you and Jensen only go into locker rooms,” Teagan said. “What should we watch? Let’s watch a chick flick! It will get help and keep us occupied. Let’s get your mind focused on something else. Do you have Netflix?”
I nodded, reaching for the remote. Soon I had Netflix pulled up and was searching through the movies. “What should we watch?”
“Something funny,” Missy suggested.
I settled on a romantic comedy about a couple who have a wild one-night stand and the woman won’t see the man again and his quest to convince her. I didn’t think I’d be able to concentrate, but both of these women were trying so hard to make me feel better, I’d make a concerted effort.
“Thank you, both. I don’t know what I’d do without you. If I were here alone, I’d probably be a mess.”
“What are friends for?” Teagan asked with a smile, settling in to watch the movie, draping her legs over the arm of the chair as she faced the screen. The big screen TV was the one thing that Uncle Leonard splurged on.
“Friends?” Missy scoffed in amusement. “You two are my sisters! We’re family.”
Teagan nodded, her smile brightening. “Agreed.”
“I’m grateful every day for the circumstances that made us a family, and now you’ll be part of it, Marin. The children adore you.”
“I feel the same about them. They’re great kids.”
“Remi would tell us to just have faith in your prince, Marin.” Teagan laughed.
The movie was starting but I found the two women more engaging. “What’s the story about the damsel thing?” I asked, for the first time feeling a bit more at ease.
“The first time I met her, Remi told me that Jensen needed me to be his damsel,” Missy added. “I found her so beguiling. I think I fell in love with her before Jensen!”
“She asked me if I was Ben’s damsel, too.”
Teagan laughed out loud. “Well, I’m raising a strong young lady, who loves fairy tales. And let’s face it, we all want our men to be strong protectors. That’s what makes fairy tales great. So, we had a conversation about girls being strong. I told her it’s okay to be a damsel occasionally.”
“Right! Because the boys need to protect us to feel empowered, so we have to let them,” Missy explained. “But I have to be honest, sometimes we really do need them.”
“Exactly!” Teagan agreed. “But I want my girls to grow up knowing they can do anything they want on their own.”
I found the entire story so perfect. “But they can rely on their fathers.”
“Yep,” Teagan nodded. “Though, I’m seeing Dylan already take care of Remi already. He’s such a little gentleman.”
Missy beamed. “I raised him right, but Jensen, Chase, and Ben have all been huge influences on him. I’m thankful for all of them, because his birth dad was such a selfish asshole.”
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br /> “They’re so cute together. They spar a little, but I can tell they adore each other,” I said.
“They’re best friends and they stand up for each other. I’m very proud of them,” Teagan added.
“I’d offer you some wine, but women who are preggers are exempt!” I smiled, my worry easing. “Though I would have advised against the horseback ride, no matter how gentle the horse.”
Missy grimaced. “I know, that was why I hesitated today, but as far as the wine, it doesn’t mean you can’t! Just leave it to me to completely raid your kitchen,” All smiles, Missy rose and rushed into the kitchen, soon returning with sodas for her and Teagan, and a glass of chilled white wine for me. She made one more trip, finding a bag of Doritos and a box of Zingers. “Sweet or salty?” She held them up, teasing us with them.
Teagan’s face twisted wryly. “Are you kidding? Both. Duh.”
Soon we were all passing the snacks around and getting engrossed in the movie. I felt truly thankful for the fire that brought Ben, and now this wonderful family, into my life. I felt blessed for the first time since Uncle Leonard died. I sighed feeling love settle over me. Once again, I found myself wondering if it weren’t my uncle working with God that started that fire.
I closed my eyes and offered a silent prayer that Ben, Davis, and everyone else would be protected and the forest fire would soon be contained.
Ben
The fire was raging on all sides of us.
The heat was intense and though my gear protected me, I felt like I was melting inside of it. I hoped Davis and the others had taken shelter in the river as I chopped at the burning trees in front of me that blocked our path. My shoulders were aching as I wielded the ax over and over again.
We’d been out here for hours and dawn was starting to break. I could see the sky above me start to turn purple, and the planes dumping the slurry mixture of water, fire retardant and fertilizer in front of us. Our suits were splattered with the stuff and I wanted to use a gloved hand to wipe it off my visor but resisted. I’d learned in past experience that it would only smear and make it impossible to see.
Marin was on my mind, even though my body was on autopilot. I knew what had to be done. I swung at another tree with everything I had, cracking it under the pressure. It had a pretty thick trunk, but it was weakened; glowing red and black as the fire consumed it, reducing it to glowing embers. The three men with me were doing the same as we carved a path through the burnt forest.
My walkie talkie was clipped to my jacket and I grabbed it. “Any luck finding the guys, Cap?”
“The helicopter found them in the river. Can you get to them? The fire around them is still raging so the copter can’t get low enough to air lift them out. The heat plume will turn flip the bird.”
“Can you tell me how far we are away? The ‘copter is hovering above us right now.” I was yelling into the walkie talkie. The fire was still roaring, and the sound of the helicopter was a hindrance, as well as my hat and gas mask I was wearing.
“You’re getting closer. Looks like about a mile to the northeast.”
Another fucking mile, I thought ruefully. My muscles were already screaming, and I was stronger than some of the other guys with me. We were all exhausted.
Even with four of us hacking away it would take hours and hours. My heart seized for Marin. My mind pictured her crying at my feet while I turned away before I left. I was thankful for my family being there, and hopefully Missy could reason with her. I should have been more empathetic. I was scared shitless when she’d called me from that bathroom stall and I wasn’t able to get to her, but all I could think about were Davis and the others trapped out here in this inferno.
Beads of sweat rolled down my face and forehead beneath my gear and stung my eyes.
“Yeah. Just have the pilot keep an eye on us and let me know if we veer off course.”
“Sure thing, son,” he answered. “You’re doing a great thing.”
“Just doing my job,” I answered. “Is it getting under control?”
“Yeah, it’s about sixty percent. They’re bringing in some crews from Idaho to help. We’ll get it. I’ll be in touch,” Captain Connors replied.
I let go of the walkie talkie and it fell back into position, hanging from the clip at my side. I put my hand in the air and motioned for the others to continue in the direction we were going. “We’re getting close! Keep moving!” I yelled and it was relayed from the man closest to me to the one next to him and so on.
As we continued through the forest, chopping and climbing through what we could, I tried to keep my mind focused on the goal, and allowing only a few minutes here or there to think of Marin. I understood her fear but wished she would have shared the content of her nightmares with me. I’d known something was up the other night in the tent and I chastised myself for not realizing. I was scared that she was still in love with that loser boyfriend, and I was relieved that wasn’t it.
I’d never forget the fear on her face when she begged me not to go but I had to find a way to make her understand that fighting fires was what I loved. Though, in this moment when I was weary and sore, and with hours of work in front of me I told myself that I needed my head examined. It would be crazy, except that when Davis and the others finally came into view, all of them in the water to their waists, it was reiterated that it was saving lives that I found the most rewarding.
The men stranded in the river cheered when they saw us, and I almost fell to my knees in relief. I glanced to my right, then left, and saw that the other three men with me were feeling it, too. We needed to rest a bit before we walked out of here, retracing our steps.
We sat down on the bank of the river as Davis, Jake, Mark and three others waded toward us. Davis’s gloved hand came down on my shoulder. “It’s good to see you, but what took you so fuckin’ long?”
I looked up at him. He probably couldn’t see the smile on my face, but I lifted a hand to place it on the arm of his coat, grateful we were able to find them. “At least we weren’t lounging in a jacuzzi, like you assholes.”
I could hear Davis and the others’ chorus of laughter and then louder cheers followed.
“I owe you a beer,” my friend said.
“Screw that. You owe me a fucking brewery!”
We stood and then the ten of us began the long walk out. My stomach rumbled loudly. Marin would probably be cooking a huge spread for breakfast. I couldn’t wait to get home to her.
Home. The word stuck in my head and I smiled. She was home.
***
Back at the station, I took a shower and changed into the clean set of clothes I always kept there.
Captain Connors walked into the bunk room as I closed my locker. “I just wanted to say thanks for coming in.”
“No problem.”
He reached out and offered his hand which I took gladly. “Glad you’re part of our crew. You were like a lion leading those men out there. I thought it would take twice as long to get to them.”
“I had to get my boys,” I said easily. My hair was still wet from the shower, though I’d run a quick comb through it, I could feel the water dripping down the back of my neck.
“Well, you and the others did a stellar job.”
“Do you need me to come back for another shift?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t need to.
“No, the boys from Idaho are taking it from here because it’s pretty much out. Take the rest of the week off as we agreed.”
“Thanks. My sister’s family is visiting, and we have a lot planned with the kids.”
The captain nodded. “How old are they?”
“Two eight-year-olds and a little boy who is two.” Remi wasn’t quite eight, but she was close enough.
“Bring ‘em by later and we can take the engine out for a ride.”
My face split into a huge grin. “I’m sure they’d love that. Thank you.”
“Now get the hell out of here,” he said jovially. “See you next week.”
It was Sunday and half of the day was already wasted. I was sorry that Marin had to work at the diner tomorrow. It was too late for the fishing trip I’d promised Dylan and Remi had been looking forward to the nature walk and treasure hunt with Marin. She was a natural with the kids and I found myself picturing her mothering our kids.
If she wasn’t too angry at me, I’d have to speak to her about it when we had a moment alone. I jumped into my truck, fired up the engine and soon, I was rumbling out of town and toward the ranch.
When I pulled in, my brother-in-law and Chase were letting the horses into the pasture. Dylan and Remi must have watched me close enough and were giving instructions to their respective fathers. The men were all smiles as they worked.
Chase, who was holding Jace in his arms, raised a hand to wave at me as the truck came to a stop and I got out of it. Remi and Dylan’s heads snapped around and they both took off running in my direction, hitting me with such force, I thought they’d knock me to the ground.
“Uncle Ben!”
“Uncle Ben!”
The two of them were like peas in a pod, hammering me with questions about the fire and what I had to do to get my friends out of trouble.
I gazed down at the two shining faces looking up at me as they both hugged my waist. I ruffled their heads then squeezed them both. “What’s for breakfast?”
“Well, it’s more like brunch,” Remi clarified. “You’re kinda late for breakfast.” She was so precocious, mature for her young years.
“Mom’s making pancakes!” Dylan said.
“With blueberries,” Jensen added. “Our favorite, right kids?”
“Yeah!” Dylan answered.
“Unca Ben!” Jace called, waving a chubby toddler hand. “Unca Ben!”
Chase put his young son down who then ran over, so I swooped down to scoop him up in my arms, then tossed him into the air. “Jace!” The little boy squealed with laughter. “Did you have a good sleep?”
“Yup! I hungry.”
“Me, too!”
The ranch atmosphere seemed to suit Chase and Jensen well. “Are the horses all fed?” I asked Dylan.
