“I’m a necromancer,” Missus Fluffbear said.
They all stared at her.
“Right. Of course you is.” Zuula slapped a cloth hand to her yarn-covered head. “You deal peacefully with smart undead yesterday. Then when job came up you just said ‘yes’. This why undead suck. Corrupting all de innocent youth.”
“Says the lady who used to put scorpions into our bed,” Said Garon, dropping his cards from his claws again. “Agh! Fucking dexterity.”
“I gotcha hun.” Madeline scooped up the cards, then froze. “Wait. Maybe I DO gotcha, Gar.”
“What?”
“I’m out for this hand.” Madeline folded her cards, walked over to one of the wall sconces, leaped up, and kicked an unused torch free. “Ya a scout, right mistah beah?”
“Yes, I am,” Said Threadbare.
“Firestartah me?”
“Um... won’t you die? Oh wait, you mean the torch.” It was a very good thing he had a fairly high intelligence, now. “Okay. Firestarter.”
She took the burning torch and stalked off into one of the side tunnels that the vampires had burrowed out from the basement. Mystified, the group watched her go. Eventually she turned a corner, and all they could see was the flickering torchlight.
“Mads?” Garon asked, uncertainly.
“It’s fine. Just looking for... ah, hello my pretties!”
A horrible squeaking chittering filled the air, and the toys jumped up from the table. “Rats!” Threadbare said, and charged towards the tunnel.
“It’s okay, I got this!” Madeline called back. “They’re caged! Darla had some set aside for snacks latah!” Threadbare slowed as he approached and oh goodness, wasn’t THAT a horrible smell. Roasted meat and rodent fear. “Yeah, theah’s the unlock! Thanks fah telling me how, Garon! Yes! Ooooh, Status.”
The dragon’s eyebrows wrinkled. “You’re... welcome? Why?”
“Hee heee heee... ha ha ha!”
“Madeline? Starting to worry me, here.”
“Endure Faia! Call Faia! Yeah, that’s the stuff!”
The light in the tunnel flared, and Threadbare gasped as Madeline came around the corner, wreathed head to toe in fire.
But NOT burning.
“What?” Said the sunproof, stakeproof, and now fireproof vampire. “You wanted a faia elementalist, didn’t cha?”
CHAPTER 7: CAREER PLANNING
Grindluck, while incredibly useful for decreasing the toddler fatality rate, is also an obscenely boring game to most adults, and young adults.
Also, it didn’t help that Garon’s newly-sewn-on thumbs refused to function in any way, shape, or form. “Oh damn it!” Down went his cards again, fluttering to the floor like sad little monuments to the newly-made dragon’s folly.
“I really don’t understand,” Threadbare said, poking at his latest stitchwork. “They went on you just like the mouth did, and I teased the stuffing to where you should be able to open and close them.”
“Told ya it wouldn’t wahk,” Madeline said, slapping down two green cards.
“Ha! Eat it!” Zuula’s plush hand pounded two blue cards down to match her, and the little vampire puppet scowled.
“It was worth a try,” Garon sighed. “I guess the skill wins out over clever ideas sometimes. I can’t feel the stuffing that’s in those thumbs, it’s like it doesn’t exist anymore. Can you remove them?”
“Absolutely.” Threadbare went to work.
On the other side of the table, Missus Fluffbear tried to play cards, but kept getting pushed over by a purring Mopsy. The miniature cougar had decided that she needed pets, and the only one she’d let pet her was OBVIOUSLY doing something dumb and less interesting than loving on Mopsy. With pets. NOW!
Pulsivar watched from the side, yawning. His fangs were still bloody from that wolf. He was a little weirded out by all the little moving, talking dolls that had appeared, but evidently this was a thing that happened when Threadbare was around. And the little bear had gotten upset when Pulsivar sat on the big green one. Which had been entirely unfair. That dragon was warm, of course it was for Pulsivar to sit on!
“How long’s it been, anyway?” Garon asked, as Threadbare snipped and removed cloth. “Oh hey, I can feel the stuffing in my thumbs aGNANANANA... careful there.”
“Sorry.” Threadbare shoved the just-snipped fluff back into the dragon’s body, and sewed up the hole. At least the experiment had been good for a point of tailoring skill.
Garon craned his crested neck to watch him work. “It’s not exactly like pain. But it feels wrong, and like bits of you are fading. Is that how it is for you?”
“Oh yes,” Threadbare said. “I’ve never really gotten used to it.”
“It feels bad,” Missus Fluffbear confirmed, giving in and riffling Mopsy’s head with both hands and her feet. The cougar buzzed a happy purr, and pushed the tiny bear around the floor with her face.
“Yeah.” Garon sighed. “Well, it beats pain, I guess. Not by much, but hey. So,” he said, changing the subject, “Have you thought it over?”
“Whee!” Missus Fluffbear said, as she rolled over a few times, and Mopsy let her come to a rest before licking her fur. “What? Oh, that. Yes I have.”
Silence for a minute, save for the cat’s slurping.
Garon sighed. Kids. They were just kids, really. Had to remember that. “And what did you decide?”
“I’ll do it. It’s not like I have to choose those jobs right away.”
Threadbare nodded approvingly. “It’s only three classes, anyway. That will leave you two more to play around with if you do have to take those jobs.” He glanced over to Zuula. “So how does this work?”
“You say to her, “Teach Missus Fluffbear,” then you say the name of the job.” Zuula said. “Then it kick off sacred ritual. Ancient thing called montage.”
“Oh, that’s how you do those!” Garon said. “Wait. They take a while, don’t they?”
“Most of a day.”
Garon slumped, and stared at the grindluck cards. “Great. Just great.”
“Hold on!” Missus Fluffbear rolled to her feet, and gently shoved Mopsy until the housecat-sized Cougar retreated. “I need to use a skill and feed her!”
“Pretty sure she’s got plenty to eat. Still lots of that wolf upstahs,” Madeline said, placidly laying down two violet cards and watching Zuula pound the table with plushy rage.
“Yes, but her loyalty gauge will go down unless I spent time with her or give her monster treats to eat to boost it back up!”
“What?” Madeline looked to Zuula, who shrugged.
“Oh! Oh, this,” Garon rubbed his head with one wingtip. “Right, Bakky had to deal with this, this is tamer stuff. If the gauge gets too low Mopsy might run away. Um...” He studied Fluffbear, all six inches of her. “Have you ever cooked anything before?”
“No, but the skill says I don’t need to know how. But it improves them if they get properly cooked, so maybe I could learn?”
“Eh, maybe you don’t,” offered Madeline. “That’d be yoah last crafting slot. Shame ta use it just foah one little skill you don’t always need?”
“I’m a cook,” Garon offered.
“You are?”
“Yeah. Used to help Mom in the kitchen all the time. Come on, let’s get you some wolf chops and you can practice turning them into treats. Over a fire. With supervision.”
“Faia?” Madeline grinned, and put her cards down. “I’m in.”
Twenty minutes later, they had six steaming skewers of meat, and two very interested cats. “Um...” Fluffbear said, as Pulsivar and Mopsy engaged in a somewhat-joking-but-not-really shoving match, “Please be friends?”
“Threadbare?” Garon asked the largest teddy bear present.
“Oh, of course. Come on Pulsivar.” Threadbare hugged his cat, and gently tugged him away from the skewers. He had enough strength over the bobcat, and the big black feline loved him too much to do him any serious damage as Threadbare kept
him from the food. Chastening nibbles don’t count, Pulsivar told himself as he sunk fangs into the brown bear’s hide. But Threadbare took it in stride, and Mopsy gobbled up five of the Monster Treats.
Missus Fluffbear smiled. “Her gauge is full. Here you go Pulsivar!”
Threadbare released his friend, and Pulsivar took his skewer off to a corner to sulk. And to eat. Mostly to eat. Baked especially for a cat type creature, the meat was delicious. Obviously the smaller bear wasn’t entirely useless. Perhaps he’d deign to put his rump in her face at some point as a reward.
“All right. Are you ready?” Threadbare asked, brushing cat hair from his coat.
“Yes!”
“Teach Missus Fluffbear Animator.”
Instantly, things seemed to blur. His limbs moved without his control, pulling out toys and devices from pockets he’d never had before, all sorts of little gewgaws and objects he’d never seen. Just as swiftly he showed them to Fluffbear, who sat and learned as he mimed animating them. And towards the end, she started doing it, too.
Then it stopped, and everyone was sitting in different places. “Oh. I thought it would take longer.” He smoothed his coat.
“It did take longah. Go look, it’s night outside,” said Madeline.
“Yep, twelve hours, give or take,” Garon sighed, balancing his cards with his wingtips, and trying to draw more with his claws. “Oh frak it!” The deck sprayed. Zuula laughed.
“Did you learn?” Threadbare asked Fluffbear.
“Status. Yes! Animator is on my unlock section.”
“Well, let’s get the other two done then.”
The newly made doll haunters had had a long conversation with the two greater golems, about how their continued lives were literally dependent upon someone having the necromancer/golemist combo, who was sympathetic to them. Therefore, since Missus Fluffbear had already chosen to be a necromancer, she’d agreed to get the unlocks for animator, enchanter, and golemist. Though they weren’t exactly directions she thought she wanted to go in, she didn’t want to risk her friends dying and having no bodies to return to.
Also if gods forbid, anything happened to Threadbare, she might be able to make him a new golem body and soulstone him over.
If Greater Golems had souls.
They hadn’t tested that yet, and she really didn’t want to.
And so, the little black teddy bear gained the potential to one day become an animator, an enchanter, and a golemist.
By the time they finished the third one, the cats were nowhere to be seen and their doll haunter friends were gathered around a dirty sack, looking thoroughly wiped out.
“What’s all this, then?” Threadbare wondered, poking at the sack. It clanked.
“Oh, you’re up!” Garon said, pulling his head out from under his wings. “Remember Darla, the vampire knight?”
“Oh yes.”
“This is her breastplate and shield. Her spear’s upstairs. We figured it was a shame to waste good gear.”
“It ain’t magical or nothing, but it’s good solid ahmah and a pokey stick,” Madeline shrugged her wooden shoulders. It looked weird, with her marionette body’s peg-and-ball joints. “Figure yoah a smith, so you can shrink’em down to one of our sizes.”
“Um...” Threadbare said, rubbing his head, then catching his hat as it started to fall. “I don’t actually know how to do that. The only skill in that list is Refine Ore.”
“Oh. Let me guess, you got it through a montage or something? Crafting jobs can get weird that way,” Garon said.
“Or something,” Threadbare whispered, remembering the sick sounds of his creator being butchered while he hung helpless above.
Garon took no notice of the little bear’s haunted expression. “Yeah, it doesn’t actually give you the skill until the first time you craft. I think the forge is still here. The anvil might be a little rusty. And we’ll have to stoke the furnace.”
“Faia? I’m in!” Madeline grinned. “Gahd I love this jahb. Shit, no wander all you people types spend so much time leveling and raiding dungeons.”
“Zuula got to come along, obviously,” The half-orc said, perking up. “You gonna play with heat like a forge fire, then someone gots to be responsible adult here.”
One hour and a nearly-disastrous blaze later, Zuula was banished from the smithy until they could trust her not to throw random stuff in the forge to see how it burned.
“Awright, remembah the buff I’m giving you ain’t huge. Only reason I’m basically immune is because it stacks with another skill I gaht. Ya ready, Mistah Beah?”
“I think so,” Threadbare said, clutching his smithing hammer and balancing awkwardly in front of the furnace.
“Awright. Endure Faia!”
Suddenly, it seemed to be a lot colder in the cramped smithy. Threadbare nodded, and used the head of the hammer to nudge the furnace door open.
Garon poked his head into the smithy from the outside door. “I think you just push metal in until it gets soft, then hammer it into shape. Try making... I don’t know, a basic shape or something.”
It took some experimentation, but finally, finally, Threadbare managed to get what he wanted.
You have Unlocked the Smithing Skill!
Your Smithing skill is now level 1!
It took the rest of the night to level the job up to five, though. The town had been pretty well scavenged for metal, and the rest of the toys dragged in everything they could find, up to and including a few window linings. Which cheered Zuula up no end as she got to help break things to get them loose.
Finally, four Smith levels and four points of strength and constitution later, Threadbare put the hammer down. “I’ve got it. It’s called ‘Adjust Arms and Armor,’ and the description seems to be what you told me I could do with it.”
“Cool,” Mads said. “Hey, drag those smithing tools out, wouldja?”
“Why?”
“I got a skill I ain’t used yet, and this forgefire’s a good place ta test it.”
The toys got to a safe distance.
“Awright! Endure Faia! Least Faia Elemental!”
From the outside, nothing seemed to happen. Garon coughed a bit.
“Oh it’s cute!” Madeline squealed.
“Is it safe to come in?” Zuula enquired, barging back through the door and stomping up next to the little vampire. The two toys stared at the floating, watermelon-sized little ball of orange flame with black spots for eyes that drifted around the room, staring at things.
“You’re in control of that, right?” Garon asked.
“If it’s in my pahty, yeah... shit.” Madeline knocked her knuckles on her head. “We got a full pahty, don’t we?”
“Yeah...” Garon nodded. “And no offense, but I’d rather take any of you over a teeny little elemental called up by a level one skill.”
“Zuula gots solution,” the half-orc pointed out. “Dreadbear and Pulsivar leave party.”
“Say what now?” Garon looked stunned.
“Is not enough to have new bodies, and new classes,” she shot a stern look at Madeline, who was tossing dried weeds to her new pet as snacks. “You gots to train dem. And Dreadbare and Pulsivar high level compared to us. Dey big experience suck.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Threadbare said.
“It de way de world work. High level hang wit’ too low level, high level get most of experience. Slows down leveling. Slows down strength. So you two go out of party, but still be around watching and helping if you need to. We still work together, just you two in own party.”
“All right, I suppose that makes sense,” Threadbare felt relieved. For a second he’d thought Zuula didn’t want him around anymore.
“Besides, now you can pull skeletons and animated objects into you smaller party. Level dose skills and jobs.”
“What? How?’
“Every time a created t’ing win a fight or do something wicked awesome, creator get experience.” Zuula put her hands on
her plushie hips. “How you not know dis? You got two creator jobs!”
“Uh, three, actually, if Golemist counts.” Garon pointed out.
There was a pause.
“So what ya sayin’, “ Madeline finally said, her voice distant as she considered the possibility, “is that every time we win a fight or do something awesome he gets experience?”
“Yes! Maybe. It might only work for Golems in his party,” Garon said. “I know Bakky didn’t get any skill ups when his pets were off hunting, only when they were doing stuff with him.”
“Why don’t we test it out?” Garon asked. “Threadbare, you want to be a better Golemist, right?”
“Oh yes! If I can figure out that greater golem upgrade that Caradon used on me, perhaps I can make you even stronger!”
“Stronger be good,” Zuula said.
“Fah once we’re agreeing. Again. Which is fah twice?” Madeline shrugged. “Semantics.”
“Actually this is a good time to discuss long-term goals,” Garon said, “And ways to get there. Let’s do that party split, find the cats, adjust that armor, and figure out a game plan for the long term.”
“Back to the basement?” Madeline asked.
“Think you can get that thing through the building without burning it down?” Garon eyed the fiery ball.
“I make no prahmises! But seriously, yeah. If he’s in my pahty. Also his name is Spahky.”
They did some hasty shuffling and Threadbare kicked Pulsivar out and left the party. Though he knew his oldest friend wouldn’t understand the words anyway and wouldn’t be hurt, Threadbare was very relieved when he found them sleeping, both Pulsivar and Mopsy curled up together. Annoyed at being roused, the big cat and the no-longer-big-cat groggily followed them back to their lair, and accepted Threadbare’s new party invite with surly grace, blinking at the words until they went away.
They lay down by Sparky and went limp into slumber, while the nigh-inexhaustible golems talked.
“Okay. I guess it falls on me to give you the talk,” Garon said.
“Zuula do it!”
“Mom, no.”
Threadbare Volume 2 Page 16
