“She was everything I thought I wanted. Smart. Funny. Loving,” he added, a sad note in his voice.
“We started having problems after the first year. A ranch sounded romantic to her but the reality was far different from what she imagined. Cara couldn’t find friends with common interests. The ranch took most of my time and what money we had. It had been heavily in debt when I inherited it. In the next few years, cattle prices were down and feed prices up. Even after eight years, we were still rebuilding the stock that had been decimated.
“Cara resented sharing a house with Sally. That’s when I divided the house the way I did. I thought it would give her the privacy she wanted, and still be home for Sally and Nathan. I made it clear I wasn’t going to abandon them. It was their home as much as mine.
“We tried. We both did. I tried taking her on trips, but then there was always an emergency and we had to come back. By the fourth year we were talking divorce. What love we had was damaged by arguments and demands. We’d decided on a divorce a month before learning she was pregnant. We agreed we would try again.”
He stopped, and Lauren sensed something very painful was coming. After a short pause, he continued, “To make it short, the baby came early during a snowstorm and I couldn’t get my wife to a hospital in time to save him. The doctors thought that if we had, he might have lived.
“His name was going to be Adam.” There was a world of hurt when Reese said the name.
“We were both devastated. Cara asked for a divorce and by then I knew it wasn’t worth another try. The baby would always be between us. She buried Adam in Denver. I put a stone here in our family cemetery. He deserved acknowledgment that he existed, even for a very short period of time.”
Mist clouded her eyes. Her heart cried for him. She held on to his hand tightly as he fell into silence.
He broke the quiet several minutes later. “I’ve avoided serious relationships since. I always felt like I destroyed her life. I love this land,” he said, “but it’s not for everyone.”
“Did she ever remarry?”
“I received an invitation to the wedding five years later.”
“Then you didn’t ruin her life.”
“I hope not.”
“And is Adam the reason for your program?”
“Not consciously. I just heard about the need from friends in Covenant Falls, and realized I had the space and the horses. Sally is a physical therapist and worked hard to get there, but she spends so much time looking after Nathan and me she doesn’t have much time to take assignments.
“And then I have friends who train horses and teach riding. We have a retired psychologist neighbor friend in town who helped develop the program. I wanted to single out emotionally troubled or physically handicapped children of veterans who’d died in combat.”
“And now,” she said, “you’re warning off all potential women friends?”
“That sounds...”
“Very self-protective.”
He grinned suddenly. “Are you always so blunt?”
“I’m afraid so. When I lost Dane, I thought I would never marry again. It hurt too damn much when I lost him. He was a good guy. A real good one despite his background.”
“Tell me more about him. Or is it too painful?”
“No. We met in advanced training and disliked each other on sight. I came out of a poor background where we scrambled for everything. He had the Ivy League manners and speech.
“I thought he was a snob, and he didn’t like me any better. And we were competitors.” She grinned at the memory. “Were we ever competitors!
“I’m not sure when everything changed. It started one night when we were all drinking. Someone asked him about his family. He said he didn’t have one. It was the way he said it that hit me at the gut level. Over the next weeks I coaxed the story from him. His family never talked to him again after he joined the air force.
“They didn’t even contact us after I tried to notify them of Dane’s death. They couldn’t care less about their granddaughter. That’s what continues to hurt me. Julie doesn’t understand.”
“That’s a hell of a lot for a kid,” he said. He took her hands in his. “I’m so sorry. But she has you, and that’s a hell of a lot, too.”
“It hasn’t been enough. Until, maybe, now. She’s making friends. She’s talking to me a little. She loves the horse and feels good about herself again. I can see the pride on her face when she canters, and the intensity with which she read to Midnight. I’m getting my Julie back and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
He listened intently. “She really has been through hell. Both of you.”
“It’s been nearly a year and a half, and this week is the first time I’ve seen her smile, really smile, since the accident.”
He closed his eyes and to her amazement, she thought she saw a tear. It might have been the reflective moonlight. Then he put his arms around her and just held her.
“I’m so sorry.”
“She’s so much better in the short time she’s been here. It helps that she can share with other kids who have gone through similar traumas, that she’s not alone.” She turned around and faced him. “You’re doing good, mister.”
“A tiny little drop in an ocean,” he said. “Do you want to go back to the air force? I imagine the door is still open.”
“I want to keep flying but I won’t go back to the air force. I can’t do that to Julie. She’s terrified of losing the only family member she has left.”
“I get that.” He stood, offered her his hand and pulled her up into his arms. “I like you a lot, Mrs. MacInnes.”
The air between them was thick with emotion. His fingers stroked her cheek, then curled around her neck. Her arms went around him, his breath whispering against her lips. Then their lips met, lightly at first, then hungrily with all the heat that had been building between them. She responded with an intensity that shook her.
His hands traced her form, touching lightly, and she marveled at the wells of tenderness that accompanied the passion roaring between them. At the same time she felt a glow, a warmth that filled her so completely that she suddenly realized how lonely she had been.
The howl of a coyote separated them. She looked at him askance.
“We should go,” he said. “This is their territory at night and I don’t have a weapon with me.” He took her hand. “A conversation to be resumed later,” he said.
“I would like that,” she replied softly.
He walked her over to Lady and offered his hands to boost her up into the saddle. She leaned over instead and kissed him again. “I like you,” she said. “Very much.”
“Back at you,” he said as his hand touched a curl.
The coyote howled again.
“I think he’s trying to tell us something,” Reese said. He boosted her into the saddle.
“Like go away?” she replied as she adjusted her hands on the reins.
“I was thinking more like get on with it.”
“I think I like your translation best,” she conceded as they turned back to the house.
Chapter 12
Lauren lingered under the hot shower the next morning.
Was she really falling in love? It seemed traitorous and yet she thought Dane would approve. Dane and Reese would have liked each other. Good men, both.
Yet, she had reservations. Could she really confine herself to the ranch? Would she not look up at the sky every day and long to be there? She felt terribly sad for the loss of that baby years ago. What if it had been she who’d lost a child?
She turned off the faucet, wrapped herself in a towel and padded to the window. There were riders in the ring. She looked at her watch and was startled to see it was already past nine. She dressed quickly in a pair of jeans, one of her new shirts and her riding boots.
<
br /> Lauren went down to the dining room. The room was empty and the buffet was almost gone. There were various packages of cereals, a bowl of fruit, some pastries. She headed for the coffee urn and filled a cup.
Betty appeared at the door. “Can I fry bacon and eggs for you? It would just take a jiffy.”
She started to say “no, don’t bother” but changed her mind. She was starving after last night’s outing. “That would be great, thank you. Has everyone else eaten?”
“You are the last. Reese was the first.” Betty disappeared back into the kitchen as Lauren wondered if word had leaked that she’d been out with Reese last night.
She finished breakfast quickly, thanked Betty and walked outside. Heath was talking to a mustang as Reese stood nearby. The horse, instead of scooting as far away as possible, seemed to be listening. As she approached she discovered the boy was not speaking but singing.
Reese gestured for her to come over.
As she neared, she heard an old Scottish lullaby. Heath’s good, she mouthed to him.
“Very good. I don’t think Nathan knows that. It wasn’t in any of the information I had. I’m going to have to get the two together,” Reese said.
“I wonder if he learned that song from his father. Maybe it was too painful for him to sing any of those songs until now. He’s sharing his hurt with the horse.”
Reese nodded. “You’re right. The horse is responding to him quicker than any of the others and yet, like Jenny, he’s been one of the quietest of the bunch.”
Lauren didn’t speak again until the song ended. She wanted to grab Reese’s hand and share the moment in a more intimate way. Instead, she asked, “Are you going to take them out to see the moon tonight?”
He nodded. “Yep. But I’m keeping it a surprise. We’ll all have dinner at the house, then a bonfire while the ranch hands saddle the kids’ horses.”
“Sounds like fun,” Lauren said. “I’m going to go check on Julie. She’s in the ring now.”
“Mary said she’s doing exceptionally well, particularly since she has that brace on one side.”
“I’m so proud of her and how she’s fitting in.”
He nodded. “I can tell she’s turning into the leader of the pack. The others seem to look up to her. She really looks after Jenny.”
“Anything I can help with, especially with the computer since that’s why I’m here.”
“Nope.”
“Is there really anything wrong with the computer? Or do you just enjoy having something to complain about?”
“Well, I could tell you...”
A new voice broke in. “When he starts that ‘Well, I’ll tell you’ business, take it with a huge grain of salt,” Chet said as he waited for Reese’s attention. “It’s almost always a lie.”
“Where did you come from?” Reese asked with mock anger.
“From doing what you asked me to do.”
“That’s fine. Just fine. Now, isn’t there something else you need to do?”
“I think I’m leaving on that note to check on my daughter,” Lauren said. She walked over to the ring and perched on the railing.
Leo followed her.
Mary Abbot, the instructor, had placed a two-foot jump in the ring. Julie cantered around the ring, then headed toward the jump, leaning forward in her saddle. Snowflake glided over the obstacle.
Lauren’s stomach jumped with it. She decided it was best not to watch. Then she saw Nathan watching intently, as well. She hoped Julie wouldn’t get too attached to him. She was still too young. They were miles apart and not only in interests.
Miles apart. Just like Reese and herself. What was she doing falling for someone who was the opposite of her? She and Dane were alike in so many ways. Their love of flying. Their love for their daughter. Travel. They had taken Julie all over Europe.
She continued to watch until Julie finished and took her horse inside.
Mary came over to Lauren. “She’s a natural.”
“She’s always been very athletic.”
“Have you thought about continuing her riding after she leaves here? Competitively?”
“Don’t they start at an early age?”
“It helps, of course, when they start early, but she has enough natural talent to do well. She also has a competitive spirit.”
“I’ve seen that in her running.”
“I could recommend some good trainers. Depends on where you live.”
“When I find that out, I’ll be in touch.”
“I’ll be around until the end of the program,” Mary said. “Reese knows how to reach me.”
“I heard you did educational videos with Reese.”
“Not together, but for the same company. They’re trying to get him to do more videos. He has everything they’re looking for—authority, experience, knowledge.”
And good looks.
Lauren didn’t like the seed of jealousy that was starting to bubble inside. It was none of her business anyway. Unless she got a job, they couldn’t afford lessons, much less boarding, food and vet bills.
She went inside the stable where Julie was cooling off Snowflake. “She’s the greatest horse, Mom. She just soared over the jump. Mary says I have real potential.”
“I watched you. It was wonderful. I’m so proud of you.”
“You think we can get a horse? Maybe even buy Snowflake?”
“We’ll see,” Lauren said. “Will you have lunch with me?”
“Sure. The other kids are envious. They think you’re great.”
“Great, wow. Why?”
“They like you. The poker started it. Then suggesting cleaning the stalls? A winner.”
“I wouldn’t think that would be a winner. They were cold, muddy and tired at the end.”
“We didn’t mind, and all the ranch hands loved it. They couldn’t thank us enough. It was really neat, them thanking us... Anyway,” she added, “you’re a ‘wow.’”
“I’m not quite sure what that is?”
“It’s good,” Julie said. She filled Snowflake’s water bucket and feed box, then offered the horse a carrot. Snowflake chomped it and nuzzled her.
Julie beamed. “See, she really likes me.”
Lauren thought it was more the carrot than Julie, but she let it go.
“Mr. Howard said I picked the best horse. That she had the best gait of them all, and she does. Mary agrees.”
“But don’t tell the others, okay? They’re just as proud of their horses as you are of Snowflake.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” her daughter said indignantly.
“How do you like the others now that more than a week has passed?”
“I really like Jenny. Tony’s growing on me. He was a real jerk in the beginning, but I think he was angry. He really resents his future stepdad. I get that. I would feel the same way.”
Lauren’s heart dropped. “And Heath?”
“He’s kind of quiet but I think it’s because he hurts inside.”
“I think so, too. I think he needs a friend. Someone who knows what he’s going through.”
“I’ll try.”
“You’re growing into a very nice person,” Lauren said. “Your dad’s probably sitting up there somewhere and smiling.”
She put her arm around her daughter’s shoulders and they headed for the house.
* * *
Lunch was much like breakfast. Everyone came and went at their convenience. The dining room was half-full when Lauren and Julie arrived. Robin joined them. “You and Jenny both looked great today,” she said. “I can honestly say that you looked better than the bunch I was with when I was a Junior Rancher at this point. That includes me.”
They ate quickly. They all wanted to get back to their horses or to their time with the mustangs. When they weren’t
riding, they were cleaning their horses’ stalls, polishing the saddle and cleaning the other equipment, or just talking to their horses.
After Julie left for her session with her mustang, Lauren decided to check “the monster,” which was apparently the only thing that scared Reese Howard.
The office didn’t look used since the last time she was here. She turned the computer on. It had all the safety programs and virus protection tools. She wrote an email to Patti in San Antonio and told her how well Julie was doing and that she was staying at the ranch.
The monster seemed to be working properly. She didn’t think it had anything to do with a new sheriff. It had more to do with its owner’s sense of humor, such as it was. It had become a collective joke.
She smiled as she turned it off.
* * *
There was no dessert with supper. After they finished dinner, the group trooped out to the picnic area in the back of the house. Several ranch hands tended a large outdoor firepit for a marshmallow roast.
The fire was already flaming. Both the kids and buddies grabbed thin metal spikes and started roasting the sweets. The night was perfect. Mild temperature. Full moon.
Reese stood when the last marshmallow was consumed. He glanced at his watch. “It’s eight. We’re going for a ride tonight. Get your horses and meet at the riding ring.”
Everyone looked puzzled and gave each other questioning looks.
They all walked to the ring to find their horses already saddled. Lady was saddled as well and Lauren assumed the horse was meant for her. Her daughter, Jenny, Heath and Tony all looked nervous as they mounted. Reese swung up into his saddle and started in the direction he’d led her last night. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and although the moon wasn’t quite as high as before, it was just as bright.
It gave enough light to easily follow the trail to a clearing under an overhanging cliff, the place Reese had brought her while she waited to see her daughter finish a riding lesson.
Home on the Ranch--Colorado Rancher Page 16
