by Sabrina York
Roni caught his eye and made her way back to him, then perched on the arm of his chair. “How are you doing?” she asked. “Do you want more pie?”
He had to groan. “I’m stuffed.”
“There’s more.”
“If I eat another bite I’m gonna pop a seam.” She chuckled and then bent down to give him a kiss.
“Hey,” Sam said, as though this kiss had reminded her she wanted to pry about something. “Have you two set a date?”
He blinked. “A date? We just decided—”
“You need to set a date.”
Lizzie nodded. “You do. We have a wedding to plan.”
Sam nodded. “A big wedding.”
“Yay!” Emma took this opportunity to jump on the sofa. Her mother, in response, took this opportunity to tell her to stop. Emma made a face, but complied. The next words out of her mouth, though, made Mark wish she’d kept bouncing. “When are you going to have a baby?”
Silence fell after Lizzie scolded, “Emma Jean!”
Roni glanced at Mark with a wince.
“What?” Leave it to Sam to suss out the only fly in the proverbial ointment. “What’s wrong?”
Mark put his arm around Roni’s shoulder and pulled her closer. “Um, we’ve decided to take our time on that.”
“Oh.” The weight of it all was utterly lost on Emma, who went back to surreptitiously braiding the fringe on one of the pillows.
“Well, don’t take too long. We need more kids around here,” Sam insisted.
Lizzie nodded. “Emma needs playmates.”
“Well, she has one coming,” Roni said, waving to Lizzie’s midsection. She then artfully shifted the conversation to Lizzie’s pregnancy, which, to be frank, Lizzie was always willing to talk about.
Mark knew having a child was going to be a rough road for both of them. But he was determined to stick with it, no matter what. He would do whatever it took to make Roni’s dreams come true. She deserved it.
As the chatter continued, Mark looked up at Roni. “You okay?” he whispered.
She slid down onto his lap, then put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. “I am okay,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “I am very okay.”
* * *
Later, when Mark went to grab another beer, Emma crawled into Roni’s lap; she just opened up her arms and let the little girl cuddle in. When it was bedtime, Lizzie suggested—and Emma insisted—that Roni tuck her in. Of course, tuck her in was really code for read her to sleep, apparently, because Roni didn’t get halfway through the story. After she heard the little girl snore, she remained there, on her bed, just enjoying the warm bundle next to her. Enjoying the scent of innocence. It hardly broke her heart at all.
She looked up, tears in her eyes, and locked gazes with Mark, who was standing there, leaning against the jamb, watching her. He smiled. It was such a sweet, precious smile, some rare brand of great joy filled her chest.
This. This moment.
This was what she had been searching for. A man who was gentle, a man who protected and loved her. A child who needed her and adored her. This was what she’d always wanted. What she’d ached for. What she’d always ached for. For the first time in a very long time, she not only felt hopeful, but she also felt anticipation and it was delicious.
After a while, she untangled from Emma, kissed her on the forehead and headed back downstairs, hand in hand with Mark. He joined his brothers in front of the TV to watch football and Roni wandered into the kitchen, where Lizzie and Sam were doing the dishes. When she volunteered to help, they said she didn’t have to, because she was a guest.
“Not anymore,” she said with a grin. “Now I’m family,” she said as she snapped on her rubber gloves.
“Okay,” Sam said. “Whatever floats your boat.”
“I’ll wash, you dry and Lizzie will put away. How’s that?”
“Why are you smiling?” Sam asked. “It’s the dishes.”
Roni sighed. “I’ve always enjoyed doing the dishes.”
“Really?” Lizzie gaped.
“It’s so...calming, I guess. Besides, this is such a normal, wonderful, holiday family thing to do.” It was also a chance to talk with Sam and Lizzie. She’d decided that it would be easier for her if they both understood the reason she and Mark wouldn’t make any babies. This was the perfect time to bring it up.
She waited until they’d finished the crystal glasses, just as a matter of courtesy. “You know,” she said, as she started on the plates, “I wanted to talk to you guys in private about this—”
“Oh, my God. This sounds like bad news,” Sam said.
Roni smiled sadly. “It’s about why Mark and I won’t be having kids right away. I just think you should know.”
They both sobered.
Roni swallowed heavily. “I’m...not able to carry a baby.” There. That was a good way to put it. Wasn’t it?
“I’m so sorry, hon,” Lizzie said as she folded her into a hug.
“Thank you, Lizzie.”
She pulled back and set a hand on her belly. “Oh, gosh. I hope I haven’t ever said anything that’s made you uncomfortable.”
What? Roni had to laugh. “Lizzie, I am delighted for you. How could I not be thrilled for you?”
Lizzie hugged her again. “That’s just because you’re such a wonderful soul. But if I ever start to kvell over baby stuff, kick me under the table, okay.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
When Roni turned to Sam, she was frowning. “How do you know?” she asked.
Roni shrugged. “Because the doctors said so.”
“Yeah, but how do you know for sure.”
“Ah, it was a lot of doctors.”
“You should still go for tests,” Sam said. “I have a friend who was told she couldn’t have kids, and she went to see this doctor in Kennewick. You know, at a fertility clinic. She ended up with triplets.”
Lizzie made a face. “Oh, Lord. Triplets?”
“Mark and I are going to start looking into our options.”
Lizzie nodded. “There are so many options these days. Medicine is amazing.” She gave Roni another hug. “What do you say we leave the pots and pans for the men?” she said.
Sam tossed her towel onto the counter. “And this year, they won’t just take them outside and squirt them with the hose.”
* * *
For Mark, having his family approve of his engagement to Roni made it more real. A silly thought, because he would have married her even if they hadn’t approved, but there you have it.
Now it was official.
Though she said she didn’t care about a ring, he did, so he made plans to take her to Spokane to pick one out. They stayed overnight at the Historic Davenport Hotel, which was over a hundred years old and had been elegantly restored. Their room seemed to belong in a castle somewhere in Europe. While Roni oohed and aahed over the antique furniture and period hardware, Mark enjoyed the food. They both enjoyed the bed. Roni joked that the trip was like a pre-wedding honeymoon.
After they had the ring, an official announcement seemed logical. Butterscotch Ridge was a small town, so engagements were a big deal.
When they got back, he took her to the B&G for a quick bite and to discuss how they wanted to release their big news, only to discover that his friends were there. There wasn’t a better way to get the word out than to tell them.
“Well, howdy, stranger!” Adam hollered, waving widely to be sure Mark saw him. As though he could miss him somehow.
“Where have you been?” Nadler asked in a petulant tone, before he nodded to Roni. They’d met when she was working to finance her bakery. In fact, all of his friends had met her at one point or another. Just not all at once like this.
For a second, he regretted stopping at the B&G. He should have taken her straight
home.
“Where have you been?” Cole echoed. “I haven’t seen you since...” He stopped short and glanced at Roni. “You doing all right, ma’am?” he asked.
Mark nearly burst into a guffaw at Roni’s expression. Apparently she didn’t care to be called ma’am.
Nadler pushed between them. “Since what?”
Mark put his arm around Roni and answered Cole. “She’s doing fine.” And apparently when he and Roni shared a smile at that, the others got suspicious.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Nadler asked.
Before they could respond, if they even intended to, Crystal came up with a tray of drinks for the guys. “Oh, my goodness,” she said, setting down the tray and grinning at Roni. “Is that what I think it is?” she asked.
“What?” Nadler again.
Roni flushed and held out her hand. “It is.”
She squealed and gave Roni a hug and then demanded to get a closer look.
His friends, on the other hand, stared at Mark in shock. After a moment, he decided he should probably say something. “Hey, guys, Roni and I are getting married.”
“Married?” They all parroted in concert.
“How’d that happen?” Nadler asked.
“But you’re supposed to be our only single friend,” Adam said. “Where are we gonna hold our poker games?”
“Well, I’m happy for you.” Cole thrust his hand out. “Even though I thought I’d never see the day. Roni is an amazing woman. Too good for you, in fact, man.”
Adam snorted. “You’re just saying that so she’ll give you free cupcakes at the bakery.”
“Hmm.” Cole tapped his lip. “Would that work?” he asked her.
Her grin was cheeky. “Probably.”
“Well, then, welcome to the family.” He pulled Roni into a big hug before Mark could stop him, but for some reason, she didn’t flinch. He liked the idea that she was becoming used to being hugged again. He didn’t even mention that Cole wasn’t part of the family.
He was part of the tribe, though, and that counted, too.
“Seriously,” Adam said, though the grin on his face was obvious. “Where are we going to play poker?”
“Well,” Roni said, “I’m not going to keep Mark from playing poker with his buddies.”
“Do you play?” Nadler asked.
She shrugged. “I know how, but I don’t play very well.”
“Excellent,” Adam responded with a mischievous glint in his eye. “That is excellent.”
* * *
Roni should have been overwhelmed by everyone’s response to the engagement, but they were all so kind and warm. It seemed as though she’d carved her place in this town after all.
When you belonged somewhere, it seemed, you didn’t mind so much when people got into your business.
Sam, for instance, helped them find a fertility clinic in Kennewick.
As Roni and Mark made the long drive into the Tri-Cities for that appointment, Roni couldn’t help remembering the time he’d taken her into town for supplies, and she’d ended up in his bed. Or he’d ended up in hers. Whatever. It was a good memory.
“What are you smiling about?” he asked.
“Nothing.” But her grin widened. “I’m just happy.”
“Are you?” He reached across the bench seat and took her hand. “I’m happy, too.”
She gusted a sigh. “Might as well enjoy it. You know, the time when all things are possible. Before they tell us it’s not.”
“Keep an open mind,” he reminded her. “We agreed to keep an open mind—”
“And be positive.” She finished the sentence for him. “I’m trying.”
He shot her a glance. “It is what it is. I’ll always love you.”
“And I’ll always love you.”
But what they both desperately wanted was someone else to love. Some small bundle of life to fill their hearts. Why did something that simple have to be so hard?
As Roni expected, after the tests, the doctors concurred that, while she did have viable eggs on one side, both fallopian tubes and one ovary were damaged and she’d suffered severe uterine scarring. Her chances of getting pregnant were between slim and none. And if she did get pregnant, the fetus would probably not attach. And if it did, the likelihood that it would go full term was almost nothing.
Roni sat there and listened, holding on to Mark’s hand, and tried to fight back her emotions.
She knew all this. She’d known for a long time. It was silly to think some miracle had occurred just because she’d found the man of her dreams. Just because she wanted this so bad. Life didn’t play out that way. It never did.
They went on, the clinicians, talking about surrogacy, about how they could harvest Roni’s eggs and Mark’s sperm and implant the embryo in someone else’s womb. And they talked about how much that would be. The cost was astronomical.
Mark listened to every word, took all the literature they passed to him and asked questions as though any of this was feasible. Roni loved that about him. He was dogged and determined.
If he hadn’t been, it would have been far too easy for her to give up on hope.
“That went well,” he said as he started up the truck for the trek home.
She stared at him. “You call that good?”
He glanced at her and grinned. “Hon, weren’t you listening? We have a real chance of having a baby.”
Seriously? “Is that what you heard?” Had they been in the same room?
“He said you have viable eggs. All we need is a surrogate—”
“And thousands of dollars. Did you hear that part?”
He snorted. “I don’t care how much it costs. We can do this.”
“How can you say you don’t care how much it costs?” Everyone cared about money.
His smile held a hint of smugness. “I have a job, you know. I get paid.”
“Still—”
“And I don’t have a lot of expenses. A couple beers a week. A monthly poker game. Car insurance, dog food... Yeah. I spend a bit on that, I guess—”
“What are you saying?”
He shrugged. “I have money in savings.”
She frowned at him. “Not that much.”
For some incalculable reason, he shrugged. “Don’t worry about the money.”
Don’t worry about the money? If it had been a thousand dollars, even ten thousand, fifty thousand maybe, she could see it. But a hundred grand? Unthinkable.
“I don’t know.” She turned to stare out the window. “Our baby? Growing inside a stranger? It doesn’t feel right.”
He patted her hand, but kept his attention on the road. “People do it all the time. We could have her stay at the ranch with us. We can be a part of the pregnancy.” He glanced at her then, and saw. He pulled over to the side of the road and took her in his arms. “Why are you crying, honey?”
So many excuses flooded her mind. There were so many reasons she could toss at him, so many ways to end this conversation. For some reason, she opted for the truth, as hard as it was to say. Mark deserved it. He’d earned it, in her eyes. She buried her face in his shoulder and whispered in his ear, “I just wish... I just wish he hadn’t stolen everything from me. I wish I still felt like a whole woman. A real woman.”
He pulled her closer and locked his gaze with hers. “Roni, you are a real woman. You’re as real as it gets.”
The sincerity and adoration in his tone made it impossible for her heart not to melt. Her lips quirked upward as he blinked back the dampness in his eyes.
When he saw that, he smiled, too, with a hint of relief. He kissed her for a long time, there by the side of the road. He kissed her until she admitted she was feeling better.
It was even almost true.
* * *
Once the St
irling family got ahold of a bone, they never let go. Mark knew it, Hell, he’d lived with them his whole life, but he’d never seen anything like this. The frenzy with which they attacked plans for his wedding was downright rabid.
It was probably Sam’s fault. She probably figured if they didn’t get this thing done, and quick, he’d try to weasel out of it.
She couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was more likely that Roni would change her mind. Yeah, so Mark didn’t mind the rush.
What he did mind was the endless planning meetings the women insisted on. And, they insisted he be a part of them. Each and every one.
Because, really? Who cared what color the linens were? Or where the flowers were placed? Or whether they offered chicken or fish? Because beef was a given. Mark couldn’t have cared less about seating charts and monkey suits and all that other nonsense everyone else seemed to be obsessed with. All he wanted was Roni.
“Just be patient,” she said to him when he brought it up a couple weeks after they’d shared the news with his family. They sat in the parlor with cake samples all over the coffee table—the only part of this mess he’d actually enjoyed. “You know how long Sam has been dreaming of getting a brother married off. Let her have her fun.”
Mark frowned at her. “Danny’s married.”
“I know. But she says that doesn’t count because he’s a new brother.”
“You can’t qualify things like that!”
Roni grinned. “You tell Sam that.”
“Tell Sam what?”
Crap.
They both turned to the door. Both forced a smile. Or, at least, Mark did.
Roni’s smile was probably real. She was sweet like that. “I was just telling Mark to be patient with all this wedding stuff.”
Sam glanced at the table. “You complaining about cake tasting?”
“Not that. It’s just... Well, all this nonsense, all this hullabaloo... It’s not me.”
His sister threw herself into an easy chair. “Well, this mess isn’t for you. It’s for Roni.”
“For me?” Roni squeaked. “I’d be happy eloping.”
