Now, karma was beating my ass for all the shit I’ve done. That had to be the answer to my problems. The shit I did was coming back to bite me in the ass. Finally getting my breathing under control, I pulled off and headed towards the warehouse again. It was time to get this shit over with, so I could go on about my way. My ass had enough money to live three lifetimes. I could go anywhere in the world, why would I stay here and be depressed. Pulling up, I felt myself going into a panic but I refused to keep being a coward.
Getting in the car, I walked in and everyone was gearing up for war. I wanted to scream no this isn’t safe for our babies, but Roulette was leading the pack. How could she willingly put her baby in harm’s way without a second thought. This was what I needed to get away from.
“Breezy I’m glad that you are here. Grab that bag of guns off the table. Most people hide in plain sight, since Capone already saw her in the hideaway, we would assume she wouldn’t go back. That may be exactly where she is, so we are heading over there. Grab those guns off the table and the bag of ammo. We don’t know what we are walking into, so we will be war ready. My daddy is not one hundred but insists on going. We will need to cover his weight.”
“You don’t need to cover shit. I keep telling you I’m good. Say that shit again and I will make your ass stay here. Breezy quit looking slow and grab the shit. We have to go, now.”
“When this is over, I’m leaving. Not the warehouse, but Chicago for good. No need for any follow up questions or responses, let’s get this shit over and done with.” Everyone had shocked looks on their face, but I grabbed the bag and stormed out of the warehouse. It could have been the hormones, but I was over this shit.
Everyone piled into their cars and followed each other to the house. They knew damn well this bitch wasn’t here, but we were going on a wild goose chase anyway. This shit was irritating the fuck out of me, but the longer it took to go in this empty as house, the longer it was going to take for me to leave. Seeing everyone else get out of their cars, I got out of mine and followed suit into the house.
Everyone went searching, but it was clear the house was empty. Stopping in the kitchen, I grabbed some chips off the table and started eating them. When I realize the house got quiet, I assumed they left forgetting I was even there. Sitting down at the table, I decided to finish my chips.
“BREEZY COME DOWNSTAIRS. FRIEND HURRY UP OH MY GOD.” Eating another chip, I slowly made my way downstairs. Guess they bitch ass didn’t leave after all. When I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I threw up everything I had just eaten.
“Is that.. There is no way that is. Oh God. Oh my God. Please tell me that’s not him.” Glitch was covered in blood. He had holes everywhere and his hands were smashed in. You could barely recognize him. Running over to him, I worked hard at untying him. All this time I thought he had left me, but he was here. He had to be. I know there is no way he would leave me. As soon as all of the restraints were off, his body dropped out of the chair. Not because he didn’t have balance, but as if he was dead. His body just dropped. Me and Roulette screamed.
“Capone get the women out of here and let’s clean this up. They are not strong enough to be here.” Normally, we would have cursed him out but he was right. There was no way I could see Glitch in that way and I’m sure Roulette felt the same. We barely made it up the stairs and I felt as if I was going to pass out. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. How could Glitch be dead? Why would she kill him? My baby was going to be without a father and I had no idea what to tell her. Yes, I was claiming a her.
“Breezy I am so sorry. If we hadn’t come back, we wouldn’t have known that he was here all this time. I’m sorry that you had to see that, I’m sorry that he is gone. I don’t know how we can get past this. Oh my God this is too much. Fuck.” Grabbing me, we held each other and cried. My father was the biggest lost I ever had to deal with, but Glitch dying and me still not over my father was too much. Hearing the guys come up the stairs, we buried our faces in each other’s chest so we didn’t have to see his body. I couldn’t see him like that again.
“Get your cry baby asses up and help us. Baby girl get my keys out of my pocket and open the truck doors. You’re gonna have to drive, but Roulette, I need you to drive like you have never driven before.” We both looked confused as to what Uncle V was saying. Noticing that we didn’t understand, he started yelling again. “He is alive. The pulse is barely there, but Capone felt it. If we want to save him, we have to move now.”
“If fast is what we need, then I’m driving the Bugatti. Capone, drive my daddy’s truck so we don’t leave it here. Breezy, ride with me. Just in case you get left behind, I’m going to Rush. Let’s go.” Everyone ran out and followed the orders that Roulette barked out. It was no time for a power struggle and we wanted to save Glitch.
Once we were on the road, I held onto Glitch as tight as I could. I needed him to know that I was there. I needed him to know that he had his family. He fought all this time to hold on for something, so he could fight some more. I was giving him a reason to fight.
“I’m here baby. Don’t worry, I’m here. I love you and I’m sorry for everything, please don’t leave me. We have so much to fight for. Please baby, don’t leave me.” I heard tires burning and looked out of the window. I think this bitch got us here in five minutes. She wasn’t playing no games.
“Baby girl if I find out that’s how you been driving my fucking car, I’m gone beat your ass. Get a nurse and a damn gurney.” She didn’t respond, and I was glad she didn’t. Her and Uncle V could argue for hours. Glitch needed to be inside and then they can go at each other over a car they can buy a million times. It seemed like the entire hospital staff came running out and it looked intimidating. They grabbed Glitch and took him inside. This was going to be one hell of a fight and I prayed he didn’t give up.
Sitting down in the waiting room, it seemed like everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Nobody knew what to say and the silence was like a ticking clock. It’s like the doctor could came any minute and tell us he was dead. I’m not sure that I could survive this if he died. All the shit that we had done in our life, all the people that we have killed. The city feared us, but this bitch didn’t. Out of all the people that feared us, the one time we needed them too, they didn’t. I was so hurt and pissed, I had no idea what to do as I waited. Out of nowhere, I started singing Sweet Architect by Emeli Sandé. Not loud, but enough to heal my heart.
Oh, sweet architect my bones are heavy and my soul’s a mess. Come find my address and build me up build me up. Oh, sweet architect I’ve been lonely since the day you left. So, come find my address. Build me up build me up.
In my mind, everyone was in the room singing with me and Glitch would be able to hear us. He would feel the love he had out here waiting. A group of people hurting and broken. We all were coming together trying to heal, but when I opened my eyes, everyone was looking at me like I was crazy.
“Girl if you don’t shut the fuck up, they gone put us out of here. I know you are hurting because we can hear it, but damn girl. I’m about to let you join handicap hitters. Kalina, get the strap.” Everyone including me started laughing. Uncle V said enough lil bitch and it was funny as hell. I needed that laugh. Roulette sat next to me and held my hand. Something so simple, can mean so much. Without her saying a word, that helped calm my nerves. Uncle V going off, helped me take my mind off the situation and we all were one big family. Leaning and depending on each other.
Six hours later, a doctor walked towards us looking perplexed. My heart stopped and I knew there was no way he was bringing me good news. The tears started to flow and I knew my life was about to change forever. The doctor continued to talk and each word broke me down. I think I let out a scream, but I wasn’t sure. All I remember is falling to the ground feeling a pain I had never felt. Build me up build me up.
Sitting beside Glitch, I couldn’t stop crying. Roulette had to fill me in on what the doctor said since I fell th
e fuck out. His hands were damn near mangled. It’s a possibility that he may never regain function in them. Bullet wounds to the neck, chest, stomach, and both knees. He may never regain function in his legs. After they shot him in the knees, they beat him with hammers. They don’t have any idea how long he has been like that, but they know it’s been at least two weeks. His blood lost was massive and they had to give him a transfusion. They felt it was a miracle that he held on this long.
“Glitch, just know that I am here. I’m not leaving you I promise. No matter what the road is ahead. I will be here for you. Just know that I love you and if you can hear me I need for you to fight. I’m pregnant and I don’t want to do this alone. The baby needs you, I need you. Roulette needs you. Please don’t leave us.
Yeah we’re still here and we’re still breathing. Knee deep with a deep needing. We stay brave though we’ve been damaged. See most got a heart, but some savage. Oh, dear heaven I hope you’re up to something. Cause dear heaven this just can’t be for nothing. Build me up build me up.
“Best friend, what is this song you keep singing? I’ve never heard it, but it sounds amazing. Well, your voice doesn’t but I love the lyrics to the song. You keep singing it and I want to know why? Does it have any meaning?”
“On Love and Hip Hop somebody died and they played the song while they were at the funeral. For me it means that it had to be some kind of purpose for God’s plan. Whatever his will is, I have no choice but to accept it but my body and soul can’t take it. I need our architect to come build me up. Whatever is going on, I am being torn down. Ripped apart. Dragged all over the fucking place. It has to be a reason behind this, God wants this for me. In order for me to take this pain that I keep enduring, I need him to build me up.”
“Oh my God friend, I’m so sorry. I have been a bad friend. You lost your dad and we moved on with our lives. You thought Glitch left, and I threw my baby and happiness in your face. Not on purpose, but we are just living as if you’re not hurting. I’m so sorry. He will build you up and what he doesn’t do, I will pick up the slack. You don’t have to leave, I will always be here for you. Glitch knows that. He will come back to us and if he doesn’t, I will be right there with you to keep picking up the pieces until you are okay. If you want to walk around in mix match shoes, I’m okay with that friend. God got us. We just have to know that. We aren’t bad people, we chose to live a way of life. I would like to believe that God still loves us all. You sound like shit but keep singing. He needs to hear your voice and know that you are here.
I needed that, I’m glad that she understood what I needed and wanted to hear. My heart was shattering and it seemed as if no one cared. Everyone moved on while I fell to pieces. I’m glad my friend said this. It helped me fight harder.
Build me up build me up.
Chapter Eighteen
CAPONE
All this shit was going on, and I haven’t gotten the chance to even process the fact that I was having a baby. Even though me and Roulette talked about it, shit didn’t go as planned. Vicious was taken in the back to get his foot looked at when Roulette shot him. As soon as he was carried away, I turned to her for answers.
“If I hadn’t been at the warehouse when Breezy screamed that out, would you have told me or would you have kept me in the dark?” From the way that she stayed silent for a while, I assumed I was right. It took her about three minutes to speak up.
“It’s complicated. My father wanted you dead, I wasn’t sure how much I could trust you and my hormones were all over the place. I don’t know if you even want to be a father. What did you expect me to do? Two days ago, I was ready to fight my father for my legacy. Today, I find out that I am a mother. I have no experience at this because I’ve never had a mother.” Hearing her say that brought me back to who I was dealing with. I got what she was saying, but I also knew she was telling me that my ass wasn’t going to find out.
“I know that you are scared, hell, everything that I thought I knew just went out the window. I have no idea who I am anymore, but this is one thing I do know. I will do everything in my power to give that baby everything. I will be the best parent I can and keep fighting to be better. No one truly knows how to be a great parent. All this shit is trial and error.”
“Fuck that. I’m Roulette. I’m supposed to be good at everything, but I’m scared about this. I have no idea what it is to be a mother. I’ve never seen anyone be a mother. I don’t want to fail.”
“Do you hear yourself Shorty? If you’re sitting here saying that you don’t want to fail, that means you care enough to fight. That’s all that matters. All you have to do is be willing to fight.” When I still saw the uncertainty in her eyes, I got pissed off. Snatching her to the bathroom, I forced her clothes down.
“Oh no Donkey dick, we not about to do this shit again. I can’t take that and you shouldn’t want to hurt the mother of your child.” Laughing, I rubbed her pussy. Bringing my hand to my mouth, I licked it making sure it was wet. Slapping her pussy, she jumped in confusion.
“What the fuck are you doing? Your ass always on some punishment type shit. Can you just lick it and let me nut that way?” Ignoring her, I slapped her on the clit again. She winced but a moan followed after.
“Are you going to try and be a great mother or are you going to keep bitching and complaining?” No answer was given so I slapped her against her pussy a little harder.
“Yes, I am going to try.”
“Fuck that. Tell me you are going to be a great mother to our child.” She didn’t respond so I grabbed her clit and pinched it a little.
“I’m going to be a great mother to our child.” Seeing that she got my point, I picked her up and slid her down on my dick. I missed her pussy so much and I needed this shit like I needed air. I’m glad that she no longer fights me on us sleeping together. Tearing into her pussy, I damn near died three times in that shit. Feeling her cum all over me, I was able to release without feeling bad. Lowering her on the sink, I kissed her and prayed she felt my love for her.
That was the first night and we barely spoke about the baby sense. I want to be happy, but I don’t know if she even plans on keeping the baby. The way that she goes running out in the streets without a second thought, tells me she doesn’t want that. Seeing her kick in doors toting guns have me nervous as fuck. I wanted to scream a million times mother fucker sit your ass down, but I knew she would only fight against that.
With Roulette, you had to strategize. You couldn’t say shit to her directly, we had to figure out ways to trick her into doing the shit that we wanted her to do. She thought I didn’t know that she had a doctor’s appointment, but I had been following her. Seeing her get out of the car made me feel some type of way. Knowing how far along she was, they were about to tell her the sex of the baby.
That alone had me so mad, I reacted without thinking. Running up to her, I grabbed her so fast, she pulled a gun on me. You could see the startled look on her face when she realized it was me. Then the ashamed look came. She knew that I was pissed, but I didn’t have time to pacify her feelings.
“That is my child in there. Unless you want to make a fucking confession to me, that is my child. You do not get to keep me in the dark. You do not get to make decisions without me. YOU DO NOT GET TO FIND OUT THE SEX WITHOUT ME. I will fuck you up so bad, they will have to take the baby out of your throat. Are we clear?”
“I have heartburn. My appointment is not until next week, but since we are here I can ask them if we can do it today. My ass was burping, farting, and chest burning too much. I needed something and I came here. If you ever grab me again, I will…” She saw my petty face and knew to shut the fuck up. I wish she would have threatened me like I was some worker that fucked up. I was tired of this power struggle with her, but it was one of the things that brought us closer together.
“Let’s go.”
Waiting for the doctor to come in had me nervous as hell. I wasn’t sure if Roulette really heard me or if she thou
ght she could do what she wanted. I don’t know shit about babies or how this works, but I’m going to give it my all. I’m not sure that Shorty would do the same. The doctor came in and my ass was ready to pass out.
After explaining that heart burn comes with the pregnancy, she laid her down and rubbed some jelly on her. I had no idea what was happening until the baby popped up on the screen. The thing was ugly and I prayed that’s not how it was going to come out. I thought I was a nice looking nigga and I know Shorty is. How the hell could our baby come out looking like this.
“Excuse me doc. Is that how our baby is going to look?” They both laughed before the doctor responded, so I knew my question was dumb. They ass better not say shit smart or Shorty was going to pay for it. They knew my ass didn’t know this shit.
“No, your baby won’t look like this. Okay, have you two decided yet?” Roulette shook her head yes, but they had me fucked up. I knew Shorty was gone try this shit, but it wasn’t happening.
“If you think I’m gone sit here and let you kill my baby you got me fucked up. Doc, I know you don’t know who the fuck I am, but you will if you attempt to kill my baby. I promise you and your family won’t make it til tomorrow.” The doctor damn near choked and Roulette looked outright embarrassed. Now I was confused.
“Umm, I was asking did you decide if you wanted to know the sex of the baby. It’s too late for her to terminate at this point. It’s not many doctors that would do that procedure. Your threat wasn’t necessary. I’m not sure if I can be your Primary after a threat like that.” I felt dumb, but I meant what I said.
“Are you the best doctor for my baby?” She nodded her head yes and I continued. “Then you will be her doctor if you don’t want to upset me. This is my first time, it’s some stuff I don’t know. Just try to explain it to me. Now, continue and tell us the sex of our baby please.” She cleared her throat and continued to move the thing on her stomach. Roulette stayed quiet.
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