“No Ma’m, I’m finished. Someone else will have to deal with you. If you will let us go, we will leave. Did you kill Hammond?”
“Was Hammond the guy shootin’ the pistol?”
“Yes.”
“We ought to be able to get him back. He kinda fell in a hole or something.” Yeah. I knew that wouldn’t work, but what the hell. We were so out of there.
The other car pulled up, a man and a woman in it. The man got out, looked at everything and asked
“Do you people need help?”
I said “Naw, we’re fine. These guys wanted to kidnap and rape us, but we beat them off us. Now they just want to leave.”
Zeke choked, “There was no rape intended, no kidnap, we wanted to talk with you.”
I kinda hollered over to the new guy, “Hey, just a quick note, if these guys want to ‘talk’, watch out, they start their conversations with a taser in your back, then when you down they like to put your body in their car. Just sayin’.”
The new guy spoke to the woman, she was talking on her phone.
“Oh, Zeke. Does the guy who was shootin’ at us with the pistol breathe dirt good?”
Car guy didn’t enjoy hearing about the pistol, he got back in his car and hollered out the window, “I’ve called the Garda” And drove off.
Zeke walked around the car to where I sunk his buddy. I walked around the other way so I could see.
I said “Be careful, he was shooting. Don’t get shot…then again, I don’t care much, here he comes. Put the gun away fast or I’ll sink both of you.”
Raising Hammond up looked funny, the earth boiled in a whirlpool, dirt moving from the center to the outside of a circle, where it sank back down. His hands showed up, pistol laying against his hand, not like he was holding it. Zeke leaned way out, careful not to step in the funny looking earth-pool, he took the pistol by the slide and laid it on the grass by the road.
Hammond’s head came up, covered with dirt, moving back and forth. His hands were waving around, he still couldn’t pull his arms down. He was coming up fast. I noticed I could speed it up or slow it down. Thinking about that, about working with Eire, and wondering if anybody worked with Eire anymore. Eire didn’t have a sense of time. Everything took place now. Eire also knew everything that had ever happened. If I could figure out how to ask, it could get us in contact with someone.
Eire replied that we already had a teacher. I tried to specify human, I suspected Artemis wasn’t the same as us. Eire felt we were the same type, non-Eire.
Hammond came up, out of the ground to his waist. He shook his head hard with his eyes closed. He sputtered to clear dirt out of his mouth. He hadn’t smothered. I stopped raising him. Getting him out would occupy them for a bit while we left.
Soon as Hammond could speak, between spitting out dirt, he took off cussing.
“Get me out of this focking dirt, I’ll have you busted down to nothing, you useless bastard. Knock that bitch out and let’s go.”
I stepped in and slapped the shit out of him, open handed, upside his head.
“You shut up. I don’t like that ugly talk, they’s ladies here and you need to learn how to act around your betters.”
He enjoyed that about like having a bucket of crabs dumped down the front of his pants. He caught second gear and drawed back a hand at me, I didn’t move but I sunk him to his armpits.
“Yo mouth is sinking yo ass, you notice that? The more you mouth off and try to hit me, the deeper you get yoself.”
“You know what? I’m done. Mags, you ready to go?”
Mags was already halfway to the tree. I guess this was a dead end, but we’d deal with it later.
Mags held her hand out as I leaped over the fence around the tree. Naw, I’d put my hand on the tree and do it myself. I didn’t need to get sick again. It had worked like a charm the last time; I come out of the hedge feeling fine.
Twelve
M ags put her hand on the tree, then stepped back and leaned way over with arms sticking out behind her, it looked odd, almost like she was bowing to the tree. She had some odd ways but I never seen this before. I was ready to get back to the house and thinking about a cup of coffee and how nice it would be to sit and vegetate a little.
I saw her by the tree as I landed on the other side of the fence; a woman in a tight white outfit of pants and shirt, shiny black boots that reached almost to her knee, jewels all over the shirt sparkling in the sunlight. She was wearing a sword of all things, in a scabbard on her back. I could see the handle standing above one shoulder. It had a large round ball on the end with sharp looking ridges all over it, as a club, if she it someone with it they would know they been hit. A person would have to be careful using that sword or the ball would cut them.
Her hair was bright pink and was wilder than even mine ever got, I swear it was moving, it was long enough to reach her ass. Her fingernails were as long as her fingers, and they were an ugly, buzzard looking black. Not shiny painted black, old, ragged, lethal black, fading to brown where they joined her fingers. They triggered a vague memory. I’d seen those fingernails or some just like them before.
“Shit, you the bitch stuck me with that thorn, you the tattoo woman. Mags, get back, she’ll light yo ass up on fire!”
This woman had sat on me and tattooed me, casually keeping me from moving somehow, used me like a packet of mayonnaise; when I told her it hurt she sat my hand on fire and it burned like a piece of old aged fat lighterd wood.
I sank her ass in the ground…she smiled at me, or rather grinned, a happy, friendly grin. She didn’t sink. Eire and the necklace both chimed in “NONONO” with undercurrents that said I should not piss her off. I needed Hammond’s gun, I’d pop a cap in her ass. I didn’t have it though. I hollered “Run, Mags” and turned to make my getaway.
My body didn’t move, I recognized the feeling from when she tatooed me. Not paralyzed but nothing on me was answering now. Muscles just sitting there, I couldn’t even blink.
She talked with Mags
“You’re Artemis’ pet. You’re a good hunter What are you doing here?”
She sounded like she should talk with ‘thou’ and ‘wherefore’; All I heard before was that rolling, pretty Irish accent, and the English from people like Edward. This was different. Her speech was slow and measured, she considered every word and spent it like it was precious after tasting it for a while. It made everything she said important.
Mags straightened up and spoke to her, I heard an echo as she spoke, words just a hair out of sync
“My Lady, I lost myself and knew nothing but the dog. Rose brought me to myself. I find me out of place, nothing is as I remember. My people are gone. It is yet better than lost.”
The woman talked with Mags, translated, and held me still and Eire wouldn’t do a thing for me. I didn’t want to get into a pissing contest with her, but ain’t nobody gonna stick me, sit on me, lock me down and in general treat me like that and me just lay down and take it.
Necklace was clamoring for attention and I finally ‘listened’. I saw the blocks between my thought and my muscle. They were obvious when I paid attention, after they were pointed out. A dim yellowish fog surrounded the woman and shaped what we saw and heard. I couldn’t make out the details. Looking inside myself I popped the bubbles between me and my muscles. I popped them all at once.
The woman jerked her gaze off Mags and stared at me; I felt out toward her and tried to get through that fog to see if I could touch her like she did me. I had to learn how to do it. Going between particles, if I pressed directly against it, I slid off, if I sharpened up I could get in a little, then change direction and go a little farther.
I smashed into the ground on my back, it would have knocked the breath out of me but I saw the tendril of nothing that pulled my feet out from under me as another hit me in the chest, and I caught me in the back with a thought of holding me up so I landed gently.
I/Necklace thought of my probe in her mist, it was
three quarters of the way in, I felt like, I expanded it quick, like an explosion, tearing an opening in it.
She grinned bigger than before, her grin had the corners of her mouth back close to her ears. She seemed to have way more teeth than I had noticed before.
“Well done! You are more than you seem, Rose. You don’t want to get through my veil. It’s a kindness I do for you.” Patronizingly. I was a bug. Maybe a cute bug.
“Mags, Who the hell is this? Maybe the question is, what the hell is this?” She scared the hell out of me. Necklace was a little leery and that worried me, necklace didn’t give a shit; it was all about ‘get some’.
Mags didn’t look away from her and didn’t reply. She cringed. Mags was tough, that was worrisome.
My body swiveled back to face the woman. I could move now, I had the blocks fixed. This was something outside me moving me like she wanted to. I could see the force but not how to stop it.
“You’re not ready to contest with me. You shouldn’t try. Learn to crawl before you try to fly.”
I took off like a fucking rocket, next thing I know, I am looking down from god knows how far up, it was cold, I passed clouds. Fast. I worried about running into an airplane, thought ‘shit, airplanes are the least of my worries!’ and laughed out loud, but just one ‘hah’. It crossed my mind that getting back down to the earth would be difficult, I was about to puke, and I was freezing and wet from the clouds and shit. Sheesh.
It was dark above me, I was really high up, I could see stars. Damn, I guess I was going into outer space. She might not know there wasn’t any air out there. It was hard to breathe already. Maybe she was gonna kill me.
I/Necklace covered me with its presence, the cold wasn’t as bad, but there wasn’t a never ending supply of whatever we/I were using. Just that little bit was making me tired.
She said “Laughing? That is…unexpected!” She sounded like she was beside me.
I shot back down faster than I came up. Air hit me solid enough it felt like a silk sheet held hard against me and pulled fast. The skin on my face would have peeled off if not for the necklace covering me. I flew down head first, my arms streaming out behind me, the force of the wind wouldn’t let me move them and I could feel the pull of the wind trying to rip the skin from my shoulders. My damn ears were pulling, flattened to my head and getting warm. I couldn’t breathe. A vacuum pulled at my nostrils and I didn’t even want to think of opening my mouth.
I saw the top of the tree and then I stood under it again. I wondered if that had all been in my mind, no, my ears were hurting and warm and I could feel the stress all over. Some hair had pulled out. I guess all my hair wasn’t inside my armor.
Necklace/I apologized about the hair, I waved it off, it’s all good, nice job. Fuck the hair. “Wheee, that was extreme! We could sell that shit! Thanks!” I sure hoped this bitch couldn’t tell I pissed myself.
Mags said “My Lady, might I speak with her?”
The woman said “Yes.” She watched me.
Mags said, “Rose. This is important. Behave. This is The Morrigan. She is a God.”
I looked at Mags, all respectful, standing at attention. I looked at the woman.
“ Mags, there ain’t but one God. This woman is powerful. She might kill me. She can do strange shit. That don’t make a god. I do things today I couldn’t do a month ago, that don’t make me a god. I ain’t sure what she is. I don’t think she’s the devil. But one thing I know for sure, she ain’t god.”
The woman grinned at me, “How do you know I’m not a god?”
Ok, that was tough. Almost. But Grammaw had prepared me long ago.
“Because there is no god but god; and I shall not put any being before My God, the one, the only. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. And you ain’t it.”
She bowed. And she quit grinning. She straightened back up and looked at me, “There are more things in heaven and earth than you can know. But this I give you, your faith does more than you will ever know.”
Mags was waiting for the thunderbolt to hit me, or whatever this woman would do. She was shocked I was still standing there. Me, well, she could kill me but that was it; and we all die, pretty much all you can do is stand up and take it like you choose or lay down and be a victim. And I choose not to be a victim.
The woman clapped her hands, “Very interesting. Now, you were looking for a teacher. We already gave you a teacher, Artemis herself was instructing you.”
“Yeah, well, Artemis got too big a stick up her ass, ain’t reliable, fucked Mags over for a lifetime or 50; I ain’t real comfortable with her style. Oh, and the bitch was gonna let the vampire eat my ass, said it was doin’ sacrifices so she wouldn’t fuck with it. Naw. I’m turning her back in, fuck Artemis.”
The woman, ok, Morrigan I guess. Morrigan looked at me with no expression on her face. It got silent. Mags held her breath and hunched her shoulders down like she was waiting for an explosion.
Morrigan must have been translating what I said, she kind of crumpled down to the ground, and looked down at her hands. Her shoulders were shaking a little and she made little noises. I looked at Mags. Mags didn’t want to look at me, but she pulled her eyebrows down and shook her head like, it’s too late for you, it’s over.
Morrigan looked up at us, tears streaming down her face, her hand on her mouth, the other hand beating the ground, then she fell over laughing, whooping, and drummed her heels on the dirt. She got blurry, and there were glimpses of stuff ...insect eyes, out of focus, a bright white area, streamers of rainbows coming off her.
I said “Mags, is she farting rainbows?” Incredulous, but damn, that’s what it looked like as she rolled.
Shocked, Mags said, “Rose! Gods! This is, this is” she glanced back at Morrigan and lost it,
“Awww” she kinda screamed, “fuck me, she is, she’s fartin’ rainbows. She kill us now, run!” she made a step or two but she was staggering and laughing so hard she was crying. The translating thing didn’t seem to be working any more, I caught the laughter from Mags and when I grabbed her we both fell down.
We wound up holding each other on the ground and laughing. I looked back over at Morrigan. She was standing again, all neat and proper, watching us. No signs of her earlier extravagance. It was like a bucket of cold water, it shut all the laughing down, I felt guilty.
Morrigan spoke “I will arrange a teacher for you. You should not speak more with Artemis. This day could have gone badly for you.” She was gone. Everything came back into focus. The car was still by the road, they were getting the guy out of the dirt. Mags put her hand on the tree and disappeared. I ran to the tree and grabbed and concentrated on home, the hedge, and my desire to be there. I was stumbling out of the hedge. Dirt’s familiar presence below my feet, the house, my yard, soothed my soul with peace and security. Hard to believe we had only been gone a day. It was about noon here. It had been getting towards dusk back in Ireland.
Thirteen
W hen we came around to the front of the house, we found Carl and some guy we didn’t know working on the window. They had taken the old window out and were putting a new aluminum window in. Carl showed me that the window would flop all over the place, you could open the top or the bottom of either piece of the window so you could clean both sides without going outside.
I didn’t mention I could simply walk outside and clean the window without opening it. All this innovation thrilled him and I was so glad to see him I wouldn’t bust his bubble.
He picked up on it, “Rose, you don’t like it, do you?”
“Carl, that almost pisses me off, but you know what? I don’t even care. I’m so happy to see you and be back home, I even like the drama. What I wanted was, let’s see; a broke window pulled out, and you got that. Something in the hole that would stop bugs from getting inside, check! And I can see outside through it, also check! And it looks good, new and clean and I know you’re doing an excellent job puttin’ it in. That’s wonderful. N
ow I’m gonna go make coffee and sit in the living room and I want you to finish up and come in and drink coffee with me. I want to sit down and spend time with you for a little bit.”
He thought a second, got a big grin, and turned back to his helper, “Willie, let’s knock this shit out, man, I got things to do!”
Willie? I looked, and it was hard to tell, he looked different, but yeah, this was Willie. No hair on the chin, he had on khaki pants and a pullover, he looked alright. Quite an improvement!
“Hey Willie, how you doin’ man? I didn’t recognize you with actual clothes on, you know, instead of those toddler shorts.” Oh shit, Carl had the idiotic shorts on.
“I’m good Mz Rosalee. I hope you ain’t mad at me about the mail. I didn’t want to come over here but Carl told me you wasn’t here. I don’t want to bother you none, ma’am.” He glanced at Carl’s shorts.
“Naw, I ain’t mad, I heard you were doin’ real good now. And you look so much better I imagine you got stuff workin’ out for you all over. I’m glad you turned it around. Hey, I’ll see y’all, that coffee is calling me.”
I got out of there before we could get any more drama going. I swear sometimes stuff comes out of my head before I get the chance to clear it. I really need to consider a little more before talking.
Mags and I moved to the kitchen. She snickered about the Carl stuff. I grinned at her. It wasn’t all that bad, anyway. We got coffee started. Carl cooked while we were gone. There was breakfast stuff out so we made breakfast. I lost track of whether I should go to sleep or get up. I would have felt groggy, my body was looking for the right rhythm, but dirt and necklace cleared that feeling right up.
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