by Force, Marie
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“Mateo has an infection. We’re working on it, but it’s worrisome.”
“Do you need to stick around?”
“No, they know to call me if anything changes. It’s a waiting game right now. Hopefully the antibiotics will do the trick.”
“Is this a common thing?”
“It happens.” He waits for me to gather my belongings and gestures for me to lead the way to the elevator. In the parking lot, he takes hold of my hand the way he does every chance he gets. “Can we run by my hotel on the way to your place? I want to pick up some clothes and running shoes. I need to get in a run at some point.”
“I didn’t know you were a runner.”
“Any chance I get, which isn’t as often as it used to be. Exercise helps me manage stress.”
“Tony was a gym rat. He was always trying to get me to go with him, but I sucked at it. He would try not to laugh at me, but he sucked at not laughing.”
Jason laughs as he holds the car door for me. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to do that every time, but he says he does have to. “Now I want to take you to the gym to see this comedy routine for myself.”
“That’s not happening.”
When he gets in the car, I turn so I can see him. “Is it okay that I mention Tony and our relationship to you?”
“Of course it is. He’s part of you, and I want to know every part of you.”
“I went to this grief group for widows after it happened. I was the youngest one there by decades, but those ladies helped me a lot. They taught me that grief is love with nowhere to go. They helped me accept that I’ll never stop loving him. I might love someone else someday, but I’ll always love Tony, too, and it’s okay to let that happen.”
“I’m glad you were able to get that kind of support when you needed it.”
“They also said that when my Chapter 2 came along, which is what they call the first significant relationship after the loss of a spouse, that I’d know he was the right one for me because he would understand that I’ll always love Tony, and the new guy wouldn’t be threatened by that.”
“Does this, with me, count as your Chapter 2?”
“I think it might.” After several nights in bed with him, I’m completely addicted to him and the way he makes me feel.
“I promise I’ll never be threatened or annoyed by the love you have for Tony, Carmen. I think he must’ve been a really special guy to have a woman as fantastic as you are care so much for him.”
“He was,” I whisper as I blink back tears that are equal parts sadness and joy. I never dared to dream that I’d meet someone like Jason. I thought I’d had my one chance at great love, that it was too much to hope for more.
“I always want you to feel like you can talk about him with me.”
Smiling, I decide to lighten the mood. “You can talk about Ginger with me, too.”
He scowls. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
I laugh as a lighthearted feeling of pure joy comes over me. That feeling has been close at hand during the week we’ve spent together. I want to hold on to it with everything I’ve got, even with so much still uncertain. I’m sure about one thing: I’m falling hard for my sweet, sexy doctor, and falling has never felt so good.
While Jason goes for a run, I decide I have to call Josie. One of the things she and I have in common is our heritage. She, too, is half Cuban and half Italian. Her parents left Cuba around the same time as my grandmother did, and the two families knew each other in Havana. I also have texts from my parents and grandmothers, who’re wondering where I’ve been all week.
I can’t exactly tell them I’ve been in bed with Jason every chance I’ve gotten . . .
Josie picks up on the first ring. “Hi, sweetie. How was your first week?”
“It was good.”
“They already gave you a special project with one of the doctors? What’s that about?”
I tell her about Jason and what happened in New York.
“I saw him on the news! Was that your doing?”
“Along with my cousin Maria, who set him up to work at the clinic and suggested we contact Desiree Rivera. Maria gets most of the credit for that.”
“It was a wonderful story. I’d heard about the fancy doctor helping at the free clinic. Agnes said people were lining the streets.”
Agnes is her next-door neighbor and source of all information. “He got a good turnout. He treated more than two hundred patients.”
“That’s incredible. I’m sure it meant so much to people.”
“It did. He wants to continue to volunteer there at least one day a week if he’s able to stay in the area.”
“The Miami-Dade board would be crazy to pass on him.”
“I agree, but it’s up to them.” I’m suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety as I try to find the words to tell her about my personal relationship with Jason. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Is everything all right?”
The poor woman is conditioned to expect disaster. “Everything is fine. It’s just that . . .”
“What, honey? What is it?”
“Dr. Northrup . . . Jason . . . He and I have been, well . . . I’m sort of seeing him.” My face burns with mortification over the stumbling words as I’m gripped with sadness so profound it touches the very deepest part of me.
“Sweetheart, that’s wonderful news. I’ve so hoped you would meet someone special.”
“Oh. You have?” I’ve never once spoken to her about the possibility of me dating again or anything close to that topic. While everyone else in my life has been eager to set me up on dates, as her son’s widow, I’ve avoided discussing that aspect of my life with Josie.
“Of course I have. You’ve got so much life left to live and so much love to give. Tony would want you to find someone who makes you happy. He loved you so much.”
A sob catches me off guard.
“Carmen, honey . . . It’s okay. Really.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so emotional. It’s just . . .”
“It’s hard to talk about moving on from Tony.”
“Yes.” I’m a sniveling, snotty mess as I reach for a tissue to mop up the damage. “I hope you know that no matter where I go or who I’m with, Tony is always going to be part of me.”
“I do know that. Without a doubt. You have a right to be happy after everything you’ve been through. You’ve been so incredibly devoted to his legacy and his memory.”
“That won’t change. Ever.”
“I know that, too. Will we get to meet your Jason at brunch on Sunday?”
“Yes, he’ll be there.”
“We’ll look forward to meeting him.”
“I just want to thank you for always being so supportive of me.”
“You’re one of my kids, Carmen. I’ll always be supportive of you and whatever you choose to do. Your future children will be my grandchildren.”
Her sweet kindness sends new tears sliding down my cheeks. “Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you, too. So very much. I’ll see you Sunday?”
“See you then.”
Long after I end the call, tears continue to stream down my cheeks. Telling Josie about Jason has opened the door to so many emotions I locked away long ago in an effort to survive the crushing loss. When it first happened, the part I had the hardest time with was knowing how long I’d have to live without him. It seemed unfathomable then that I would most likely continue to exist for decades while he was gone forever.
When Jason comes in from his run, I try to frantically clean up the last of the tears. I glance at the clock and am surprised that it’s already after nine. He goes right for water in the kitchen before coming to find me, stopping short at the sight of my tear-swollen face.
“What happened?”
He’s sweaty and gorgeous and makes me feel better just by walking in the room. “I talked to Tony’s mother.”
<
br /> “You told her about me?”
“Yes.”
“Did she upset you?”
“Not the way you think. She was amazing. Super supportive of me, as always.” I wipe new tears that won’t quit as much as I wish they would. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I can’t stop crying.”
He kneels in front of me and takes hold of my hands, kissing the backs of both of them. “It was a hard conversation. I’m not surprised you’re feeling emotional.”
“Are you always this amazing, or just with damsels in distress?”
“You’re the only damsel I’m concerned with, and if I didn’t stink so bad, I’d hold you until all the distress is gone.”
I cup his face and kiss him. “Go take a shower so you can hold me all night.”
He groans and leans into the kiss. “I’m going.” Another kiss. “In a minute.” Five full minutes of tongue-twisting kisses later, he pushes to his feet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.” I force myself to shake off the malaise and to focus on the present rather than wallowing in the past. My present is looking rather promising at the moment, and it’s that thought that has me standing and pulling off my clothes as I head for the bathroom to join Jason in the shower.
He startles with surprise when I step in behind him and wrap my arms around him. “Well, hello there.”
“Hi.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing much. You?”
He laughs. “Nothing was up until you pressed your sexy self against me. And now . . .” He guides my hand to his hard cock.
“All that for me?”
“For you and only you.”
I rest my cheek against his back as the warm water rains down upon us. He moves my hand up and down the long length of his shaft. He’s rougher than I would’ve been without his guidance, but I let him take what he wants and needs while I run my free hand over the dips and cuts of his muscular abdomen. I’m obsessed with his six-pack and the ropy V of muscles over his hips. He’s muscular in a leaner way than Tony was, not that I’m comparing. That’s a rabbit hole I refuse to fall into, because if I were to go there, I’d also have to acknowledge the difference of being in bed with a man who has much more experience than my husband did.
So not going there. Uh-uh. No way.
Jason’s muscles tighten, and his breathing quickens. “Carmen.”
“Hmm?”
“Let’s do this together.”
“Next time. Take one just for you.”
His deep groan makes me smile and has me deciding to sweeten the pot. I release my hold on his cock and turn him to face me, glancing up at him as I drop to my knees to take him into my mouth.
I love the shock that registers in his eyes, his sharp intake of breath, the rough grip on my hair and the way his entire body goes tense as I take him as deep as I can. The head of his cock nudges against my throat, and I swallow convulsively, drawing a shout of pleasure from him.
“Carmen,” he says, sounding desperate. “Babe . . . Fuck.”
Despite the warning I hear in his voice, I lick and suck gently, focused entirely on him and his pleasure.
In the second before he comes, his cock gets harder and bigger, which fascinates me. After years of not giving sex a thought, it’s all I seem to think about since he came into my life.
“Shit,” he whispers as he sags against the wall.
I lick my lips and stand on shaky legs.
He wraps his arms around me as his chest rises and falls rapidly.
“Was that okay?”
He laughs as he seems to fight for breath. “Ah yeah, you could say that. You wrecked me.”
As we stand there under the warm water, clinging to each other, I’m content in a way I haven’t been in years. It’s a feeling I want to hold on to with everything I’ve got, as I know now how fleeting such things can be. And when I feel his reawakened cock pressing against my belly, I laugh. “That didn’t take long.”
“He’s under your spell.” Jason shuts off the water, steps out of the shower and has a towel waiting for me when I follow him. He wraps it around me and nuzzles my neck, giving a gentle bite that electrifies me.
“Don’t leave any marks.” I can just imagine what my grandmothers would say if I showed up with love bites on my neck.
“I won’t. Don’t worry.” With his hands on my hips, he directs me toward the bedroom. On the way, the towel falls to the floor, and I find myself facedown on the bed. “Like this.” His hand slides from my back to my ass, which he’s mentioned a few times is the finest ass he’s ever seen. Any inhibitions I might’ve had about being naked in front of him quickly disappeared in the face of his desire for me.
I’ve always been conscious of what Tony once referred to as my extravagant curves. I’m not fat so much as “lush,” as Maria describes us both. I could stand to lose some weight, but I try to eat healthy, exercise when I feel like it and maintain a healthy body image. Although, this week, the only exercise I’ve gotten is in bed with Jason.
Next week, I tell myself as I wait to see what he has planned, I’ll get back on the treadmill, which is the one machine at the gym I can handle.
His lips land on the center of my back and work their way down. It takes him only seconds to have me quivering with desire and anticipation. He raises me to my knees and uses his tongue to intensify the quivering and the desire. I’m a trembling orgasmic mess of nerve endings on fire for him by the time he pushes into me from behind. Grasping my hips, he thrusts in deep before retreating almost completely and then repeating the whole thing again and again until I’m desperate to let go of the intense pressure that’s building like a steam engine about to burst from internal combustion.
When he grazes a fingertip over my clit, I explode, screaming from the release that rocks through me.
He’s right there with me, coming with a grunt and a moan that vibrates through the lips he’s pressed against my back.
We tumble onto the mattress, still joined as we ride the waves that follow epic release.
He mumbles all the Spanish words he practiced on me the other day, calling me every term of endearment he can think of as he caresses my breasts and belly.
I break out into goose bumps that make me shiver as much from the words as his tender touch.
Jason withdraws from me, disposes of the condom in a tissue and grabs the throw blanket from the end of my bed to cover us, keeping his body curved tightly around mine. “How you doing over there?”
“Very, very good. You?”
“Same. Very, very, very good.”
I reach for his hand, which is flat against my abdomen, and hold on tight to him, overwhelmed by everything that’s already happened while wondering where we’ll go from here.
CHAPTER 19
CARMEN
The news from the nurses on Saturday is good—Mateo is responding well to the antibiotics and doing much better.
Jason is visibly relieved after he gets that update.
We spend much of the day working on the PowerPoint presentation for the Miami-Dade board of directors, which includes testimonials from former patients as well as Jason’s colleagues in New York. His assistant came through with plenty of both, so we’ve got a lot to work with in addition to what we’ve done together here.
The NBC 6 story is included, along with the photos I took of him with patients at the clinic, playing dominoes in the park, eating at the bar at Giordino’s and sitting on Miami Beach.
“It’s really great, Carmen,” he says when we review it from the beginning.
“We had lots of good stuff to work with.” I glance at him, leaning over my shoulder to view the laptop screen. “I hope this helps you see that the scandal is only a tiny part of your story.”
“It does. I just hope the board sees that, too.”
“They will. How could they not?” I get up and stretch, my muscles protesting from spending
hours at the computer, not to mention the hours in bed with him. “How do you feel about cigars?”
“Medical school ruined my enjoyment of many things, including cigars. We learned all about how unhealthy most of the best things really are.”
“That’s a drag.”
He smiles at my pun. “A huge drag. I’ll never look at cigars, booze, fried food or red meat the same way again. Why do you ask about cigars?”
“I want to take you to the Little Havana Cigar Factory. I thought you might find it fun to check out how they’re made.”
“That does sound fun. Can we have dinner at the restaurant after?”
“We’re going there for brunch tomorrow.”
“Is there a limit on the number of times we’re allowed to go there? I want to see your family again. I like them.”
“They like you, too. In fact, I’ve been getting texts from them asking when you’re coming back.”
He puts his arms around me and kisses me. “Are you ashamed of me, Rizo?”
“Of course not. Don’t be silly.”
“Then what’re you thinking?”
“I’m getting attached to you.” The words are out before I can take even a second to decide whether I should say them.
“I’m getting attached to you, too.”
“Are we setting ourselves up for disaster here?”
“Maybe, but disaster has never felt so good.” He kisses me again, and like always, the second his lips connect with mine, I lose myself in the magic we create together.
By the time we finally come up for air, I’ve forgotten what we were talking about. Oh. Right. Attachment . . .
Jason’s phone rings, and he reluctantly releases me to check it. “It’s Terri, the nurse administrator from New York.”
She’s the one who sent us the testimonials from former patients and colleagues.
He takes the call. “Hey, Terri.” As he listens to what she has to say, he walks toward the window in my living room. “When did this happen?”
