by Geri Krotow
Nor had she ever told them, save for Annie, about what she’d been through with Vadim. And now Luther knew, the emotional parts if not actual abuse details.
Stripping to get in the shower, she realized she didn’t feel as naked as she had when telling Luther about her past.
It was also the safest you’ve felt.
The shower was huge, big enough for five people. It reminded her of the master bathroom in the mansion she’d lived in with her ex. But unlike the ostentatious, over-the-top fixtures, these were stainless steel with contemporary lines. She imagined that it had served for groups of agents as needed, and practicality made it so roomy. When she turned the handle she heard a flash heater fire up and nearly groaned with gratitude. It was going to be a hot shower, something to ease the tight neck muscles she’d incurred from hours of staring at a laptop screen. The slip-proofed tile floor was warm under her feet as hot water streamed over her head, her breasts, her legs.
If she kept her eyes closed, the water could ease her anxiety at being in such a close proximity with a man like Luther. A man she’d actually be interested in getting to know better, spending much more personal time with, if they didn’t have the definite boundary of working together. More than that, Luther made it clear that he wasn’t interested in anything more than what he currently had. His work. The one woman he’d cared for had betrayed him, then been killed.
Kit understood betrayal. And Vadim wasn’t dead, nor had she loved him, not even briefly. The bastard had gotten all she’d ever give him—the better part of six years of her life.
She was grateful for the fancier bar she’d grabbed from her apartment as its lavender scent filled the shower. Only recently, secure in her steady income, had she allowed herself these little luxuries. Lathering it against her skin, she recalled how she’d had to rely on friends and handouts when she’d first been free from Vadim. He’d left her nothing, as the government seized all of his assets. The only reason the pawnshop still existed was that it’d been put in Mishka’s name, and she’d never, ever considered asking him for a dime.
She laughed, the sound open and louder than she expected with the echo of the flat ceramic walls. The truth was that she’d have paid Mishka to leave her alone if necessary.
Here, in the middle of the woods with Luther and their operation against ROC, Kit felt more secure and grounded in her life than she had since she’d read the advertisement in the local paper for an au pair while sitting on her parents’ sofa in Kiev.
Maybe this was what Annie had meant when she’d told her that she’d gradually realize she’d healed from her traumatic time with Vadim.
And if her skin hummed, and her insides trembled when she thought of the man on the other side of the wall while she stood here naked, that was simply part of being a healthy human.
* * *
Luther tried not to smell the feminine scent that emanated from the door to the shower room. It wasn’t a TH supply; of that he was certain. The last time he’d used a TH safe house, the soap had been plain white bars, not whatever was making the shower steam smell like a woman.
Not a woman. Kit.
He opened the sauna door and sniffed, willing the cedar and steam to erase the thoughts of Kit, naked, standing under running water. He’d almost convinced himself, or rather his dick had, that it would be okay to relieve the tension with Kit. Until he heard her speak so openly and honestly about her abusive marriage. Hell, it hadn’t been a marriage, save for the legal piece of paper. She’d been an unwilling captive of a very bad man.
His throat and face began to burn and he shut the sauna door. The last thing he needed was to get emotionally involved with a woman with Kit’s past. And she would need a man to help her heal from whatever that monster had done to her, if it was even possible. She’d require a man who’d always be there for her, at her side, patient, compassionate, understanding.
He could admit to himself that he was capable of patience and understanding. But being there for the long run? Not happening with any woman. Luther had learned his lesson the night he’d realized his life was about to end because of his mess-up. He’d trusted the wrong woman.
A laugh sounded in the shower, followed by a soft humming. Kit was enjoying herself. No reason to rush her. They were safe out here, conducting nothing more than a surveillance mission. If, like other ROC ops, this turned into something more lethal, he was prepared. Luther would take care of them, but most of all, he’d protect Kit.
Sinking onto the wooden bench that lined the bathhouse wall opposite of both the shower and sauna doors, he relaxed his back against the cool tile and closed his eyes. A bit of meditation might keep him from doing what he really wanted. Blame his erection, but the truth was plain and simple, and not so biological.
He wanted Kit Danilenko far more than a work or bed partner.
* * *
“Your turn!” Kit padded out of the shower room, glad she’d thrown her terry robe into her bag. She could have dressed in the shower, but the sauna beckoned. Plus, it’d help dry her hair more quickly.
Luther opened his eyes but remained still on the bench as he watched her. He wore his same clothes, no doubt ever mindful that they could be called into dangerous action at any time. “How was it?”
“Great. Did you take a catnap?”
“Something like that.” He stretched his arms overhead, stood and cracked his neck. “I like to meditate when I can. If I’m not on an op, I do it regularly.”
“Which means rarely.”
“Pretty much.” He leaned down and grasped his small backpack. “The sauna’s ready. Feel free to adjust the heat as you see fit.”
“Thanks.” They had to walk past each other, and Kit wanted to slap her cheek to snap out of the cloud of awareness Luther’s presence wrapped her in. If she were honest, she was in need of sexual release, but it wasn’t possible. It hadn’t been while she’d worked through her trauma—she wasn’t ready. And now, feeling more ready than ever, the very man who’d awakened her deeply protected natural urges was off-limits. For reasons far too numerous to have her mind tick off.
She lifted her chin and aimed for the sauna door. One step, two, passing him, ignoring the wonder of how he’d look without his jeans on, almost there—
His hand reached out and gently grasped her upper arm.
“Oh!” The skin under the terry cotton reacted with heat and a sense of urgency that spread through her and coiled in her pelvic floor, making her legs as wobbly as the old coffee table in front of her sofa. She looked up into the danger zone—Luther’s face, especially his eyes, and the gray heat was scary and a relief. Scary because this was new territory for her, and relief because it was validation to see he felt it, too. It wasn’t a casual attraction that had led to their kiss. Some kind of fire had been lit between them and dang if she knew how to put it out.
He immediately dropped his arm. “I’m sorry, Kit. I would never hurt you. This job can turn on a dime, and if it does, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
“I know that.” She saw the concern in his eyes and needed to convey that she wasn’t afraid of him. “It’s not you, Luther. It’s me, one hundred percent.” She was screwing this up so badly. She knew she should have gone straight into the sauna, out of arm’s reach of him.
Except Luther deserved the truth.
And the truth was, she wanted him too badly to stop now.
Chapter 14
He tried to turn away, but this time her hand on his heart stopped him.
“Kit—”
“Let me explain something, Luther. I have to get this out in the open. It’s only fair. I’m not afraid of you. It’s this...this thing between us. I get that it’s probably one-sided for the most part. I haven’t been with anyone since I left my marriage, and it’s only natural that I’d become interested in a single man I spent so much time around, don’t you think?
”
“That sounds logical.” His arm thrummed where her palm touched his chest and it took years of training for Luther to keep himself from bundling her close. He’d never had his protective instincts triggered like this before. Nor his desire.
She smiled, her skin rosy from the shower. All he saw was her face and the top of her throat, the rest was left to his imagination. “One thing my experience with trauma and healing has taught me is that I can’t rely solely on my brain anymore, Luther. Logic and common sense are important, as are instinct and self-awareness. But it’s okay for me to have my feelings. And that’s just it. I’m having all kinds of inappropriate feelings for you, and I owe you an apology. I’m sorry if it’s making your work space uncomfortable.”
“Oh, babe, it’s not the wrong or bad kind of discomfort, trust me.”
She scoured his face with her gaze, and to his surprise her response was to place her hands on his chest, stand on tiptoe and press her lips to his.
Luther froze. Then he grasped her shoulders, leaned back, breaking the connection. “Kit, are you certain?”
“I’m beyond sure, Luther.”
He waited for her to come back, to kiss him again. This had to be her call. It was his desire to empower her, let her know how desirable he found her. Yet it had to be at her pace.
Kit’s lips were sheer magic on his, their softness enticing his mouth to answer with a fierce kiss filled with all the need he had for her.
Not yet.
“Babe.” He breathed into her mouth, wrapping his hands around her waist and gently nudging her, inch by inch, up against him. When her body was flush with his, he deepened the kiss, allowing his hands to grasp her buttocks.
“This is spectacular.” She kept kissing him, her tongue licking his lips and teeth. He couldn’t stop the groan that growled from his throat, and finally let himself kiss her like he’d dreamed since seeing her in Colt’s office. When she thrust her pelvis against his, he opened his eyes to see her arousal on full display in the blue depths of hers. Her half-closed eyes opened fully, meeting his gaze as her breath hitched and the rosy flush turned into a full bloom.
“Can I touch you?” He moved his hand to the side of her rib cage, stopping short of where her breast pressed against the fluffy robe.
“Please, yes.” Without preamble, Kit untied her robe and let it drop.
“Whoa, wait—” He grabbed it before it hit the floor and moved to the side to hang it on a hook. And to give himself a second to check himself. This time was going to be about Kit’s pleasure. She deserved that .
“I don’t care about my robe, Luther.” She stood before him with total confidence, her body taut and soft in all the right places.
He cupped her face. “You are so beautiful, Kit.”
“You make me feel beautiful.”
“Tell me if I do anything you don’t want, babe.”
“I want it all with you, Luther. You’re the right man for me, right now.”
“I’ll buy that.” He couldn’t wait any longer and lowered his head, longing for her kiss.
* * *
Kit had never experienced the sensations Luther’s kiss and touch sparked. She was helpless with desire and bursting with the knowledge of what her body, her touches did to him. Luther let her know each time a caress affected him, and she was positively giddy knowing she brought him pleasure.
He held her breast in his hand, gently squeezing and caressing while kissing her thoroughly. She reached between them and stroked him through his hunting pants, the nylon fabric leaving little to her imagination.
“Yeah, babe, that’s it.”
“You’re so hard, hon.”
He pressed her up against the wall, where her robe hung, so she wasn’t chilled by the tile. “You okay?”
“I’m wonderful.” She could hardly talk around her breathlessness. Never had she truly understood the fussiness of love scenes in the movies, not in her past life. Now, with Luther, she understood why her girlfriends oohed and ahhed when the leads got together. This was... Beyond.
“We’re just getting started, babe.” He kissed her deeply, slowly, before trailing his mouth over her throat, his hands taking their own journey on her waist, over her hips, lower, until his hand was between her legs and his fingers stroked her, her wetness saying everything she couldn’t articulate. Her legs quivered and her knees were close to giving out. When his mouth closed on her nipple, she cried out.
“Hang on, babe, we’re getting there.”
Getting where? He’d already made her feel things she’d never dreamed of. The tight coil in her pelvic floor threatened to reach a breaking point, but she had no clue how to get there.
Luther showed her.
He sucked her nipple and did some kind of secret finger maneuvers in her most private parts. A sheer wave of pleasure welled up in Kit. She grasped his shoulders, grinding her hips in sync with his fingers. Oh, his magic hands.
“Luther, I’m... I’m—”
“Go with it, babe. Let it take you.” He moved from her breast back to her lips, and when his tongue met hers, he pressed into her with his fingers. The sensation of a wave broke into an explosion of ecstasy, and it took her several breaths to realize the woman screaming his name was her.
So this was an orgasm.
* * *
Luther couldn’t get enough of Kit’s every expression, the way she soaked up each stroke of his fingers, every kiss, as if it were all new to her. She still clutched his shoulders, her gasps slowly easing into a regular rhythm as he held her against him. Her scent surrounded them, and if they weren’t in the Trail Hikers’ hideout he’d take her to his bed and show her how very little they’d explored.
“Luther.”
“Kit.” He kissed her closed lids, her lashes long and full. She opened her eyes and he was gifted with her glow of pure sensual satisfaction, making her eyes a deeper hue than usual. “I take it that was okay?”
“Okay? It was like nothing I’ve ever—but you, Luther. We must take care of you.” She became almost businesslike in her countenance, and he grasped her hands, holding them against his heart.
“Are you kidding? You just gave me the biggest gift ever, Kit. You opened up to me, shared your most intimate self.”
“You don’t understand, Luther. I owe you big-time. I know this is going to be hard for you to believe, but that was my first orgasm with...with someone else.”
He sucked in his breath. Of course. Her bastard ex wouldn’t have bothered to pleasure her. Vadim was one of many loser ROC operatives he’d crossed paths with over the years, from what he’d read of his files when he’d found out he’d be working with the woman he’d abused.
“You think less of me?” Vulnerability laced her tone, but he saw the steel in her gaze. Kit was a survivor.
“Babe. I can’t think of anyone more incredible than you.”
“Can I do something to please you now?” Her offer to reciprocate was genuine, but he couldn’t shake the truth of what she’d survived, how she’d never had her needs met before.
“Not this time, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose. “I’ll take a rain check, though, when we’re in a more comfortable spot.”
“Deal.” She gave him a shaky smile and a tear slid from the corner of her eye. He kissed it away, cupped her face in both hands.
“You’re beautiful, Kit.” He couldn’t tell her enough.
She raised her hand to her face and swiped at her eyes. “I have to admit, I’m feeling a little vulnerable right now.”
“Here.” He removed the robe from the hook and wrapped it around her, helping her with each sleeve before closing the front and tying the belt. “I’m sorry that our first time together was in such a challenging—”
“I’m not.” Her fingers covered his mouth and he reflexively kissed the
tips. Luther stood up straighter. He was definitely not the kiss-on-the-fingertips kind of guy.
You’re getting in too deep.
“But it wasn’t as good as it’s going to be, babe.” He kissed her, hard. “Next time.” Reluctantly he took a step back, then another, grabbing his stuff. “It’s my turn to shower. You head into the sauna and I’ll meet you there in a few. But if you get too warm, get out. Dehydration is not something we can afford.”
She nodded and he saw her more professional demeanor come back, which was actually hilarious since she was naked under her fluffy robe and her cheeks were still rosy from her orgasm.
That she’d let him bring her to. White-hot heat went straight to his groin, and he made a quick exit to the showers. Thank goodness this part of the ROC surveillance and takedown would be over soon. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait to make love to Kit the way she deserved, for as long as they both wanted .
* * *
Mishka grunted as he stood in front of the Jeep that matched the photo his contact had provided. Anger swelled at having to hike the last two hours, in the dark, through this freaking wilderness. Screw his original plan not to grab Kit as soon as the car exploded. What had he been thinking, that he’d frighten her and the man she was with, drag out the scare tactics a bit?
No way. Since he’d had to come this far and go through this much effort, he was going to get what he wanted now. Besides, once he had Kit, he’d have more bargaining power with Ivanov and Markova. Unbeknownst to his father, he’d established contact with Ivanov, promising the ROC East Coast leader that he’d not only pick up where Vadim had left off, but was willing to provide far more services to the organization than his father ever had. Ivanov hadn’t promised him anything.
