Girl Online Going Solo

by Zoe Sugg

  Sorry again

  Megan puts her hand on mine, breaking me out of my thoughts. “You’re doing the right thing, Pen. There are always people who want to bring down big pop stars like Leah.”

  I force a smile. “You’re right.”

  “Want to get out of here and do some shopping in Covent Garden?”

  “OK,” I say.

  “Awesome. I’ll show you this makeup that I really want.”

  Shopping feels like the last thing I want to do, but I still have a few hours before my train. Maybe it will cheer me up. Megan grabs my hand and pulls me through the doors, out onto the bustling streets off the Strand. We wind our way up to the huge Covent Garden piazza, one of my favourite places in London. The weather, for once, is bright and clear—a beautiful autumn day that reminds me, again, just why this is my favourite season.

  There’s a juggler performing to a large crowd, his microphone-enhanced voice bouncing back off the stone buildings that surround the square. Megan and I stop for a moment to watch him, and I stand on my tiptoes to peer over the sea of heads. The juggler tosses a flaming baton high in the air, catching it at the very last second, and Megan and I gasp along with the rest of his audience.

  She tugs at my arm. “Come on, let me show you before this crowd breaks up.”

  She takes me to a beautiful high-end makeup store decorated with large mirrors that remind me of some of the ones I’ve seen inside dressing rooms I’ve been in with Noah. The makeup is all way out of my budget, but Megan and I have fun trying on the different lipsticks and highlighters.

  “Check out this colour. It would look so nice on you,” she says, unrolling a lipstick and running it over the back of my hand. It is a really lovely pink, but the price tag makes my eyes water.

  “I think I’ll skip it for now,” I say.

  “OK, suit yourself. I’m just going to get this stuff and then we can go.”

  Megan takes four or five different items to the counter and pays. Then she links her arm through mine and leads me out of the store.

  “So, what happened with you and Callum? You were going to meet up with him in Scotland, weren’t you?”

  “Oh . . .” I can’t help the flush that rises to my face. Even though I spoke to him briefly before leaving Scotland, I still feel bad for the way I left it. I shove the niggling feeling of guilt to the back of my mind. “Well, the biggest news is that Noah is back.”

  “WHAT? HOLD UP.” We come to a standstill in the middle of the street. “Noah’s back? And you saw him? What did he say? What did you say? Are you getting back together?”

  I laugh. “Whoa with the questions! We’re not back together.”

  “Aw.” Megan pouts.

  “We didn’t really get to talk properly, because I came back down here.”

  “You ran away.”

  “No! I wanted to surprise my . . .” I would say “friend,” but I don’t know anymore. “I wanted to surprise Posey.”

  “Annnnd you needed to run away.”

  “OK, I needed to run away a little bit,” I concede. “I just didn’t know what to do with him, and with Callum and everything . . . It was too complicated.”

  “Well, that’s OK. I’m glad you told me. I’m sure you’ll clear things up with Callum. He’ll understand about Noah. True love always has to come first.”

  I grimace. “I’m not sure a guy who abandons you for a month with no word or anything can really count as a true love.”

  “You and Noah are meant to be. I know it.”

  I smile weakly. “Can you keep quiet about his return for a little bit? I don’t know how public he wants it to be.”

  Megan runs her finger across her lips. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

  “Thanks,” I say with a smile.

  “Awesome. And if you ever need any advice on the Noah thing, you know who you can come to.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Elliot’s jaw almost drops into his bowl of cornflakes. “But she seemed so sweet!”

  “I know.”

  I’ve just filled him in on the drama with Leah and her leaked song, which he’s listened to about a hundred times. “At least the song is amazing. I love it! I bet everyone at school is going to be talking about it.”

  “Same.”

  “Are you ready? I’m going to be late. I have this huge history paper due and I can’t miss the start of the lesson.”

  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  We continue our routine of walking as far as the corner together, where we break off to go to different schools. Except now, of course, it’s different because the routine starts as soon as we wake up. Elliot’s moved in to Tom’s room temporarily. It’s still strange to have him in the same house, rather than next door. While I love having my BFF living under the same roof as me, I wish it was under better circumstances. Still, I know my family will do anything and everything they can to make him feel safe and loved. He needs that more than anything during this turbulent time.

  As I reach the bottom of the steps to my school, I get a long WhatsApp message from Posey.

  Dear Penny, I’m sure I’m the last person you want to hear from, and I know you must hate me, just like Megan does. But I wanted you to know I’d never do what you and Megan accused me of. You have to believe me. I don’t know who leaked the song, but it wasn’t me. Hope you write back. Posey x

  My stomach churns as I read it. I want to believe her, but the proof is too glaring. I know it wasn’t me, and Megan’s alibi is sound. So I shut my phone without replying.

  The day disappears in a blur as I try to put the whole situation between Posey and Leah to the back of my mind. It’s hard, because Elliot is totally right. Everyone at school is talking about it, even though they don’t know I had anything to do with it.

  Even at lunch, when I walk into the canteen, Kira and Amara are talking about it. “I wish there was a version I could listen to on Spotify,” Kira is saying. “It would go straight to the top of my playlist!”

  The sisters both look up at me as I put down my tray. “Hey, Penny! Have you heard Megan’s news?”

  “Megan’s?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “Yeah! She’s having a party. I bet you have one of these invites in your locker.” Kira pulls out a black envelope that shimmers under the bright fluorescent lights. It has a seal—now broken—made with blood-red wax.

  “Oh wow!” I say as I pull out the stiff piece of card that’s inside. It’s an invitation to a Halloween party at a farm outside London.

  “Yeah, she’s invited basically everyone in the sixth form and apparently a bunch of people from her new school too. Are you going to come? I bet your new guy is going to be there.”

  I swallow, disguising my blush by staring down at the invitation. I haven’t had time to fill anyone in on the new Callum situation.

  “Hmm, I guess?” I say. “Is it fancy dress?”

  “Uh, how could it be a Halloween party without costumes?” says Amara. “We should think of something great and then all go together.”

  “I don’t know . . . big parties aren’t really my thing. And I should probably check that I’m actually invited first.”

  I finish my lunch and head straight to my locker. Sure enough, as soon as I open it, a black envelope tumbles to the floor.

  I snap a picture of it on my phone and send it to Megan. Within a millisecond, she’s ringing me.

  “Please say you’ll come!” she jumps in, without even saying hi. “I’ll make sure you have a good time . . . and I’ll make sure you have a safe place to retreat to. It would mean a lot to me. This is my chance to really make my mark on the school, and . . .” She finally takes a breath. “It’s the day before my big stage debut.”

  I blink with surprise. “What do you mean?”

  Megan’s voice lowers, like she’s surrounded by loads of people and she doesn’t want them to hear. “Posey dropped out of the show today. She claimed it was because of her stage fright, but I think
it was guilt.”

  “Wow” is the only thing I manage to say.

  “So, you’re going to come? Pretty please?” Megan’s voice brightens again.

  “All right, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Yay!” Megan says with a loud squeal. “I promise you, this is going to be the best party ever.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  “What do you think, Elliot?”

  Elliot leans back in his chair and strokes his chin as if it’s covered by a thick beard. “I think you three look like the spookiest witches I’ve ever seen . . . but that’s probably not the kind of costume Megan had in mind.”

  He’s probably right. Kira and Amara have come over so we can get ready for the party together, and we’ve raided Mum’s collection of costumes for the most elaborate witchy outfits we could find. We’ve decided to go as the three witches from Hocus Pocus, my favourite Halloween-themed film since I can remember. I’ve bagged Sarah Jessica Parker’s role as Sarah Sanderson, while Kira is Winifred and Amira is Mary. Alex has been on hand to provide some equally outlandish makeup—long fake fingernails and crazy back-combed up-dos. Looking in the mirror now, I wonder if we may have overdone it a tad—but there’s no going back now.

  Kira giggles. “I feel like a true Sanderson sister.”

  “Hang on, your wig is wonky,” says Alex to me, as he adjusts my long, newly blonde and very knotty locks.

  “What happens if you bump into Callum?” Alex asks.

  Callum sent me a text asking if I was going to the party and whether we could talk again. “I’ll have to talk to him,” I say, “just to be honest once and for all. At least he won’t be able to see how embarrassed I am under all this makeup and fake hair.”

  Amara points her broomstick at me. “We’re going to have a good time. You’re going to have a good time. We’re not going to make this all about Callum.”

  “So, where is this party again?” Elliot asks, examining the invitation.

  “It’s at a farm in Surrey, about thirty minutes’ drive away. Kira’s got their mum’s car, so she’s going to drive us.”

  “How the heck is Megan affording all this? Since when did she have the megabucks to throw around for a big party?”

  It’s a question that’s been niggling at me too. “I’m not sure,” I reply. “But her parents have money . . . Maybe it’s to celebrate her getting the lead role in their school show. It’s a pretty big deal.”

  There’s a pause, silence hanging in the air, which is suddenly broken by Elliot having a fit of giggles. “I’m sorry,” he says between laughs. “I just can’t take you seriously with you looking like that!”

  I look at Kira and Amara, and they look at me. Then, on cue, we pretend to beat Alexiot with the ends of our broomsticks.

  “OK, we better get going, before we ruin our glorious makeup!” And I hop off the bed.

  “Have fun, you crazy witches. You know I’m going to want all the details,” calls Elliot.

  “Of course!”

  We hurry downstairs, and Dad lets out a genuine yelp when he sees us. “Girls! You scared me!”

  “That’s the idea, Dad!” I say back, then add my best witch’s cackle for good measure.

  “I’d tell you to be safe, but I think it’s everyone else who’s going to have to look out for you three.”

  “Ha ha, very funny,” I respond, and I raise a sarcastic eyebrow, but then I catch a glimpse of us in the hall mirror and almost jump myself. I’ve always been a fan of “go big or go home,” and I think, between us, we’ve definitely gone beyond big.

  Kira and Amara’s mum’s car is parked outside our front door. “Can you imagine if we get stopped looking like this?” says Amara.

  “I hope we don’t have to stop for petrol!” I say.

  “Don’t worry,” Kira replies. “I filled up on the way here.”

  We leave the Brighton traffic behind, pulling onto the motorway that will take us north through the Sussex countryside towards London. I check my phone but then put it back just as quickly: I have several missed calls from Noah and I know I’ve been avoiding the situation. It’s true—we do need to talk again, but I just can’t face it.

  When we come off the motorway and get stuck at some traffic lights, we end up terrifying a little boy in the car next to us. We collapse into giggles and only just recover by the time it goes green.

  The satnav takes us down a winding country road, so narrow that the wing mirrors almost brush the hedges on either side. I’m thankful it’s not me driving—this would definitely make me nervous.

  Eventually we get stuck behind a bus, full of people in fancy dress who must also be on their way to the farm. That must be the party bus that Megan talked about, the one for people who didn’t have access to a car. I’m glad I’m not on that—just the thought of it makes me start to sweat.

  “Glad I’m not on the bus with all those people,” Kira says, echoing my thoughts.

  “Oh god, me too! I can’t imagine anything worse,” I say.

  Amara smiles at me. “Are you going to be OK, Penny? Do you want to have some kind of signal or code word or something? For when one of us is ready to go back?”

  I think about the film Hocus Pocus and how when the sisters want to regroup or club together, Winifred shouts “SISTERS!” With that, they all gather together in a giggly mess, so I suggest, “If one of us wants to go, we could cry ‘SISTERS!’ just like in the film.”

  “Love it! It’s a deal,” the others say enthusiastically, and I smile back gratefully. I really appreciate my friends; they understand my anxiety and are trying to make me not feel so alone. We all know full well that it’s not going to be either of the twins who blows the whistle on time at the party.

  The bus ahead of us turns in to a large farm gate, and we follow suit.

  Our jaws drop in awe. The place is Halloween on steroids: hundreds of carved pumpkins line the track, creating an eerie kind of red carpet. Ghostly spiders’ webs hang from the leafless trees and, to complete the scene, hay bales are stacked up all around.

  The wind blows, sending the candles flickering, and there’s a chill in the air. I’m glad I decided to wear tights underneath my dress and corset.

  We walk up the avenue of pumpkins, clutching our invitations tightly. A burly security guard (with a pang, I instantly think of Larry, Noah’s bodyguard) checks our invitations and waves us through. I’m amazed by how many people there are here, but then I realize that it’s not just Megan’s party at the farm tonight—there are other events on here too. The guard shines his flashlight along the ground for us, in the direction of a huge barn. That must be where Megan’s party is being held.

  “This is crazy,” Kira says. “Is it OK if I’m a bit scared?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m terrified!” I reply.

  There’s a queue of people waiting to get into the barn, and we huddle together at the end of it. A creepy man in a Joker costume is at the front, opening and closing the door and ushering people in, and as we get closer I realize it’s Luke, Megan’s date. She must really have him eating out of her hand to get him to do door duty.

  “Welcome to the House of Horrors . . . if you dare,” he says, his painted mouth twisted into a leer.

  “Uh . . . thanks?” I say tentatively. It’s so obvious that Luke is a drama student.

  “I suggest you hold hands as you start walking through . . . And remember, don’t stop until the very end . . . Mwahahaha!” He opens the door, and then Kira, Amara, and I all scream as we are pushed inside. The door slams shut behind us. We’re plunged into pitch-black darkness.

  I’m sandwiched between the twins and their fingers squeeze mine tightly as we take tentative steps forward. “Oh my god, Penny, I swear something is touching me. I don’t like this,” says Kira.

  I don’t like it either, but I grit my teeth. “Come on, this is supposed to be fun. I’m sure it’s not—AHH!”

  I scream at the top of my lungs as a man in a hockey mask lunges
out of the darkness towards me, wielding a knife. Amara screams a second after me as a girl—her face covered in weeping sores—jumps onto the bars of a cage barely a foot away from her face. On cue, we begin to run through the dark maze, adrenaline coursing through our bodies. Even though I’m screaming, it’s weird because I actually think I’m enjoying myself. Something about being scared witless when you’re (almost) sure you’re not going to come to any real harm is pretty fun.

  We come across two doors, one labelled DANGER! DO NOT ENTER!! and the other THIS WAY. Before anyone can stop me, I push through the door marked DANGER!

  It must be the right one. As soon as my eyes adjust to the light, we’re inside the huge barn and there’s music and a packed dance floor, coloured lights swirling overhead to the beat of a bouncing DJ in the corner.

  But that’s not who I see first.

  The very first person I see is . . . Noah.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  He’s dressed as a ghost, which is appropriate considering how much he’s been haunting every moment of my life. He’s all in white—even his face and hair are covered in white powder. I blink, wondering if maybe he’s a real ghost and I’m imagining things.

  He’s busy scanning the rest of the crowd so isn’t looking in my direction, which is lucky—because I’m not ready to face him yet. I grab Kira’s hand and pull her away from the door and into a shadowy corner. Amara looks round, wide-eyed, wondering what spooked me. I’m glad we’re wearing such full-on costumes and I’ve come as a peroxide blonde this evening, because it means that Noah will take more time to find me.

  “What is it?” Kira asks.

  “I’ve just seen a ghost,” I reply.

  Kira peers round the crowd. “I think you’ll have to be a bit more specific . . . There are quite a few ghosts in here!”

  “I mean . . . Noah.”

  “Oh, seriously  ?” Then her eyes open wide. “I get it now. Just look for the gaggle of girls, right?”

  “What do you mean?” I say, following the direction of her eyes, and my shoulders slump. I hadn’t even noticed before; I was so focused on him. But all round Noah there’s a circle of girls, all standing just far enough away so as not to appear too creepy-keen, but also just close enough that they can easily catch his eye if he should look at one of them. But suddenly, Noah turns away and heads outside.