“You’re saying... that the man who is supposedly the worst out of the Exodus is my father, and that he had my mother killed and my memories wiped so that I would... live a normal life?” Cassidy laughed again, trying to picture the Chancellor in her head, desperately trying to piece together if she looked anything like him or not.
“At first he couldn’t kill her. Your mother set the precedence within our community. She was the first one to be exiled and she was kicked out instead of killed because she was your mother and meant so much to the Chancellor. However, when she started screaming about his indiscretions, about how the Chancellor was creating an army and forcibly triggered dozens every month, she suddenly ended up dead.” Caleb licked his lips and leaned back in his chair. “Your mother had her issues under control. The only reason she was so overwhelmed with her abilities in the first place was because what your father was making her do. She was a Chi and one heck of a Chi at that. She had shown him that someone close to the Chancellor was supposedly going to fulfil the prophecy of holding all five origins and he honestly believed that person was going to be your mother. So, he pushed her.” His head sunk, hanging it low as he shook it back and forth, obviously upset by the story that he was telling. It was clear that Caleb had known her mother and was close to her. The story seemed to change him as he told it.
“When it became apparent that she could barely handle the Chi energy, let alone other origins, he wanted to trigger you. And, your mother was extremely against that. She truly believed that if you were going to be triggered, it needed to happen honestly. And, when she found out that the Chancellor was planning a way to trigger you, she lost it. She tried to bring down his Chancellor-ship, tried to turn the Exodus against him but, he painted her as an addict and showed her mercy by exiling her. But... being exiled from the Exodus is almost worse than dying. You get sick, your Origin is hard to control, you feel this emptiness inside that is unable to be quenched. And, the only way to fill the hole is to supplement with something else, so she created the League. And the rest, you know.” Caleb stood, pacing in the room and hoping that she could see how honest he was trying to be.
“Why didn’t he just trigger me after my mom was gone?” Cassidy asked, her voice soft as she was so tired. Arguing and being defensive didn’t appear to have an effect on Caleb, she might as well try to understand what he was trying to say.
“Because, your mom was one smart cookie. In forming the League, there were too many defectors from the Exodus that he didn’t have the time to worry about you. He had to keep a good face. Everyone knew that your mother didn’t want you to be pushed into triggering and he couldn’t just have that happen so suddenly. So, he spent his time fighting us and it wasn’t until we killed you tha—”
“You killed me?” she said, her head snapping up and forcing her to swallow when he said the words. “If you respected my mother so much... why go against her dying wish?” she said, the anger brimming under her skin. She didn’t understand why her mother went to such lengths to avoid her coming into her birthright but it was obvious if his story was true that that was a big part of her death.
“There comes a point in war that we’re forced to do things we don’t want to do. Our numbers were dwindling, we need you. You are so much more than you think you are. To have the daughter of the Chancellor side with us, someone who could possibly master all five origins and help us end the Exodus corruption... we couldn’t wait any longer. And, it’d been so long since your mother died that it was either we were going to kill you or the Exodus was. We just chose to attack first.”
“You make it sound so simple!” Cassidy snapped, clenching her fists and begging to be able to use her Origin against him. “I wasn’t some mark or attack, that was my life you stole from me! You changed everything!” Her voice echoed out of the room and into the rotunda that the rest of the members were sitting in.
“Don’t you see though, we didn’t! That life was fake. Every single memory you had, even your father. All of it was a crock of shit to keep you on the back burner long enough to avoid suspicion and then bring you back into the fold. We saved you! And while we can’t bring back your old memories for you, we can let you know that you’re being fed a lie,” Caleb sighed. He just wished that he could shake her to accept the truth that was being shown to her.
“What do you mean I can’t bring back my own memories?” she questioned, pacing once more. She knew that Chase was an incredible Chi, she was sure that he would be able to undo whatever was done to her.
“When a Chi alters the mind, the memories of a person, only that Chi can undo the alteration. Chase’s father was the one that altered your memories and... he died the day after your mother did,” Caleb said, Cassidy’s false bravado sinking the minute he spoke. The coincidences that had to have happened to orchestrate such a large scheme such as this... it was impossible. But, she couldn’t take what Caleb said at face value. He wanted to sway her to his side after all.
“So, I’ll never know my old life? What memories I used to have, my time with my ‘real’ dad, none of it?” she said, trying to hide the shake in her voice.
“Those memories died with the Chi who took them. You are the Cassidy that you will forever be, right now. You’ll need to build new memories and we can help you with that. We can be the family that you’re so desperate to have. Your mother created this group before she died and she would love to see you flourish here with us. And, we’d love for you to become one of us.” Caleb watched her face, hoping that he could see the wheels working in his favor.
“I don’t know if I can believe you,” Cassidy admitted, staring at the hands in front of her and imagining the green pulsing over her skin.
“We didn’t think that you would, not at first. Your true home is here. You’ll learn that eventually. And, we’ll be here when you’re ready to come to us.” Caleb licked his lips and left the room before she could say anything, leaving the door open and free to leave if she so chose to.
Cassidy’s hands were shaking now that she was alone. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know who to believe. The hope that Chase was being honest with her was fading just as fast as Caleb spoke to her. What if he was just there to try and convert her? He was there at the perfect time to bring her back to life. The Chancellor was at the hospital when she came to. Everything was a lie, supposedly. Her head was screaming at her in pain as she tried to think through all of the issues that were being presented to her. If what Caleb said was true, everyone she had met had a story with her already and she’d never truly know it. Would she try and pick up wherever she left off in the Exodus or continue on in the new Cassidy Hawkins body that she knew now?
All she did know was that she needed to get out of the room.
Her feet were on auto pilot as she found her way out of the room. The room spilled out into a hallway much different design than it was earlier. There weren’t other rooms that connected the other origins, the room just dumped out to a foyer with a door leading outside. Something had happened when Caleb had left the room and she couldn’t figure out where she was but she knew that somehow, she was brought somewhere else. When she turned around to peer back into the Sigma channeling room, the room simply didn’t exist anymore. It took her a moment to realize where she was at all. She was home. Or, at least in the house that was fabricated in her head to actually be home. The room was cold and dark, the lingering feeling of what Caleb had cast over her slowly fading away.
“This isn’t home,” she whispered, touching the bannister to the stairs that she had a million memories on. A million false memories.
Her heart pounded in her chest, the fear and realization she might not know who she was at all came to her mind and the green magic quickly pulsed across her skin. Cassidy’s heart pounded faster, both relieved and terrified that the magic was at her disposal again. That meant that her bond should work too.
“Chase,” she croaked out, her legs unable to hold her up any more as she fell to the grou
nd, holding on to the staircase and crumpling on the last step. The red waves of magic started to ripple in front of her and not even a second after she said his name, he was standing in front of her. It was apparent that he was a nervous wreck and that he hadn’t slept in some time.
“Cassidy,” he said, relief rolling through their bond in heavy doses. He moved to her, picking her up and pulling her to his chest, fingers intertwining up in her hair as he took in the smell of her and closed his eyes, thankful for finding her.
“You’re safe, I’ve got you, you’re home,” he whispered, rubbing her arms as she stayed silent in his arms. The problem was, she didn’t know what home was anymore.
Chapter 11
The couple sat on the steps for a few minutes, eerily silent the entire time as Cassidy tried to process what all had happened. The comfort of Chase being so close was much more of a relief than it should have been and she welcomed his arms around her. It wasn't until they'd sat for a while until Chase teleported them back to the edge of the Exodus compound and then helped her back to her room. Cassidy was thankful that there wasn't a welcoming committee there to fuss over her more than Chase. She didn't need to be overwhelmed already.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked as he helped her to the couch, letting her lay on it as he paced in front of her. His eyes looked her over, trying to find any kind of marking or bruise. There was a cut on her forehead and bruising around her wrists where she had been bound, awaiting her conversation with the League. Chase’s anger was palpable as he paced back in forth in front of her.
“Did you know me? When you saved me, did you know who I was, before?” Cassidy asked, her voice hoarse and raspy as she glanced up at him. “They told me everything so... I just want to know. Did you know me?”
Chase’s gaze fell as he nodded, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. “We didn't know each other, not well enough at least. You kept to yourself mostly but I knew who you were. The Chancellor’s daughter. So, when we tracked down the League that night and noticed so many of them converging on the town that they'd put you in, we thought that they'd be coming for you and I hoped that we'd get to you first. It was no accident that I was there that night but it was my hope that I could save you.” Chase reached out to brush back her hair but she shuddered away from his touch, sinking farther back into the couch.
“So, everything…” she started, clasping her eyes closed as a few tears managed to spill over the edge, pulling her legs to her chest on the couch and letting out a shuddering breath. “Everything they said was true. This... is just some fucked up façade.” She swallowed, wiping away her tears.
“No, no, Cassidy, that's not true at all,” he said, his voice firm yet understanding. “The Exodus is exactly like we've told you, what you've experienced. The only lie was who your father was and I didn't tell you because I didn't think that it was right for me to tell you. Moving you away from the Exodus was what your mother wanted and Xander, he just wanted to keep you safe.” He sighed, saying the Chancellor’s name out loud for the first time.
Cassidy clenched her legs to her, shaking her head and burying her face into her body. There were so many lies, what was she even able to believe anymore.
“So who knows who I am?” she asked, swallowing back the fear and confusion as best she could.
“Only a few. Most of the League members memories weren't converted because we didn't want them to look for you outside of the Exodus. Most of the people you've met have no idea that you used to be living within this life before. The Chancellor, me, a few other elders for the origins, that's it,” he said with a nod and Cassidy licked her lips as she accepted what he said.
“They said that the Chancellor killed my mom. That the Exodus is trying to create this army, that they're framing the League for things that the Exodus is actually doing.” Cassidy sighed, pulling herself off of the couch and to the drink decanter on the kitchen counter, pouring a glass of scotch and downing it quickly. “How can I believe either of you?” She was just so lost at this point.
“Because, you trust me. You can feel what I feel. You know that I'm telling you the truth. We're bound. It's my job to protect you and I wouldn't put you in the path to be hurt,” he said, standing and walking over to her, taking the glass from her hand and pouring himself one, downing it just like she had. “You scared the shit out of me, you know. I couldn't feel you anymore, couldn't search for you.. Really know how to screw with my emotions.” He chuckled, sucking the last bit of scotch off of his lips before looking up at her and shaking his head.
Cassidy was ready to retort back against him until he looked up at her. It was such a strange feeling that he caused within her each time they found one another. She hated that he was just so damn good aT distracting her from the issues in her life but she secretly welcomed it too. After everything that was revealed to her tonight, a sense of security and normalcy was what she needed.
“Trust me, it wasn't my intention,” she mumbled with a laugh, stealing her glass back and pouring herself another, taking a sip before watching her hands that were still shaking.
“Nerves and after effects of being in a foreign Origin channeling room,” he said, nodding to her hands and grasping them in his. “keeping an Origin from a triggered person is one of the best torture methods out there. It breaks you without you ever even knowing it,” he said gently, tugging her closer to him and tangling his fingers into her hair.
“You saying they were torturing me... and I thought they were going easy on me?” she whispered, her breath hitching in her throat when he pulled her closer and Chase nodded his head to her question, leaning down and pressing his lips against her own. Cassidy’s skin glowed a dull green at the feeling of him against her and before she knew it, her hands were free of his own and pulling him closer to her. With his lips on her own, it was like the events of the night never happened, that she never questioned who her parents were... it was like she was normal all over again. Her hands gripped his back, nails just barely digging into his back enough to lift her even closer to him, if it were possible. Chase’s hands slipped to her hips, moving to lift her to sit on the counter when Cassidy pulled away.
Her chest was heaving, her skin flushed and her lips bright red as she stared up at him. The emotions were palpable even if the bond didn't exist but with it, they were heightened tenfold.
“We can't,” she whispered, her hands resting on his chest, her hair a mess and his hands now resting on the small of her back. “Not like this... not after everything today. We're hurt and… we can't,” Cassidy said, peering up at him. She knew how easy it would be to let everything go and say fuck it to how her night had gone but this was important to her. Their connection wasn't one to be exploited.
Chase’s breathing had calmed while she spoke, cracking a smirk and nodding as he leaned in and kissed her forehead and squeezed her frame.
“It's okay. I understand,” he said, resting his forehead against her own when he gazed down at her. There was nothing he wanted more than simply her at the moment and he would never admit that she was right but she was. After the events that they went through, acting on impulse would be a sure fire way to get one of them hurt. Or worse, killed.
“I’ll see you in the morning? I can let your Dad know that you’ll want to meet with him. He was worried about you too,” Chase said, his thumb running over the cut on her forehead before cracking a smile.
“No, no, stay,” she said, glancing around the small apartment before looking back to him. “I just… we can’t do this but you can stay here, with me. I don’t want to be alone right now.” If there was anything Cassidy hated, it was being weak, especially having to show that weakness in front of people that she cared about. But, after dealing with everything she experienced and learned, there was no way she felt comfortable being by herself.
“Yeah, no, I can stay here, that’s—that’s fine,” he said, glancing around the room before rubbing the back of his head with his hand. “I’ll just
grab the co—”
“I’m not twelve, Chase. As long as you don’t hog the bed or snore, you can sleep with me,” she teased, pushing him from in front of her and exhaling, the euphoric shocks from their bond dwindling when they weren’t so close to one another. She felt like she could breathe but she also wanted nothing more than to go back to his arms.
“Whatever you say, Cass,” he laughed, tossing his hands into the air as to surrender, following after her into her room and quickly falling asleep.
Chapter 12
Cassidy was running, sprinting even, her heart exploding in her chest as she rounded the corner. She begged her feet to make her move even faster, the leftover adrenaline pumping through her chest egging her on to find her way out. A quick turn to the left found a large brick wall. Dead end. She screamed and pounded on it with her fists, the wall not moving a budge which prompted her to turn on her heel and try a different direction. Turning back the way she came, she took the hallway to her right and came to yet another crossroads. She felt a pull to her left and on instinct, she turned, pushing her body to its limits as it continued to carry her.
Another turn and she found another dead end. “Let me out!” she bellowed, her hair a disaster upon her head, sweat pouring from her brow. Her shirt was soaked around the neck and her boots were splattered with blood, although it was obvious that none of it was her own. The fact that she wasn’t even trying to conjure her Origin terrified her but not enough to try. It was as if she were on autopilot and she were simply watching herself fall into a pit of destruction. “Help me! Anybody! Please!” she cried out, her voice breaking as she smacked the wall that was now in front of her. She couldn’t hear anyone else’s footsteps so she turned back towards the crossroads that she was pulled to go left before and went right. The hallways shifted and changed as she pushed on, changing even before she had the ability to make a decision. As the walls shifted, she could see someone off in the distance, a woman. It took her eyes a moment to realize who it was on the other side of the walls but once she did, her heart pounded even faster.
Epsilon Page 8
