Written Sins
Nathan
Whatever it is about that girl is going to either get me killed or thrown in an insane asylum. I don’t want to have a mated relationship with her or be bound to her family. I just want her around. We can chill and laugh and be fucking merry, and that’s it. Two normal people doing normal people shit. Why is that too much to ask for in my life?
I spend the next couple of days with Tracey. She sleeps over, and I stare at her all night, searching for something, anything to reveal to me that she’s my mate who I can’t remember. I allowed my beast to taste her, to see if she’s even a bit familiar to him, and we came up with nothing. She’s brand new to me.
But there’s a part of me that believes her. It’s in her eyes. The first day I met her, she looked at me like she knew me. Maybe I’ve been using that, using the hint of familiarity to have someone around me who isn’t using me for what I am or what I can do. Someone who can be with me because they genuinely want to be. Maybe we’ve been using each other.
But sticking with her, something bad is bound to happen.
She left early this morning, returning to her home, her family. The Newcombs. Pfft. There’s no way any of this can be real. How can I forget an entire family?
Confusion and disappointment have gotten the best of me. Hunched over a bar, empty shot glass in my hand, I call for a refill. “You should probably slow down,” a kind Samaritan advises, taking the empty barstool beside me.
Without looking in her direction, I hitch a brow and let it fall, throwing the filled shot glass of amber liquid down my throat. The burn ceased on shot three. This is seven.
I tap the glass on the countertop for another refill. Simplicity is a far reach for my life. I’ve wanted a full family for years. I’ve desired to have someone to lean on and not go at this alone. There’s no telling if what they claimed was true, and if it were ten years ago, I’d jump at the chance of getting to know the Newcombs.
“You’re having a hard night, huh?” A woman wrapped in a short black dress, with jet black hair that stops at her cheeks, thrusts out her hand. “Lana. And you are?”
Shaking her hand, I say, “Nate.”
“Nice to meet you. I’ve watched you toss back a lot of these”—she points to the glass—“but your eyes are still clear.”
Checking out the empty glass, I mutter, “It’s a bitch.” It’ll take another ten just to get me buzzed and a feeding to get me high. I should probably leave here and go for that, cut out the middleman. Standing from my seat, I drop a couple of twenty-dollar bills on the counter. “See you, Bonnie,” I call to the bartender.
“You’re leaving,” Lana asks.
Throwing her a side eye glance, I turn my back to her and head out of the bar. Hitting the door, I run into the worst of beings. I can smell the electricity on him. “Excuse me,” he says.
“Hm-hum.” I move past him.
“Excuse me, Nathan?”
Half-way through the door, I turn on my heels and meet the eyes of the electric eel. He tries to catch me with a blow to the face. I dodge it but feel the shock of his zap.
Stumbling out of a door, I twist one way before the other. “Where am I?” I rub my head. “How’d I get here?” I look at my hands and lift my gaze to the man. “I can’t remember my name.”
“You all right, man?” the stranger asks. A peculiar look about the man makes me wonder about his nature, a head full of silver-white hair, pale skin, and eyes the shade of pearl.
A woman comes up behind him, dark hair and black dress. “There are some things we need to tell you,” she says.
I turn to my left and in my next blink, there’s nothing. No thoughts or reality.
Unwritten Stars
Tracey
Eternity catches me as I sleep and death grips me when I wake. Throughout the day, no matter what I’m doing, his hands stay secured around my neck. I’m wondering if I torture myself by living a life I know will take me up, higher than peace and pleasure, and slam me down to re-experience the torture. How great it would be to go mountain climbing today and jump off a ledge? I’d free fall, maybe for minutes before he’d catch me. Death. Death will finally catch me then.
Maybe I like it. Maybe I enjoy the high after the letdown. The whole, there must be rain to enjoy the sunshine.
“Tracey, you’re not paying attention.” Jason tugs my arm. “Hello!” he sings.
“I’m sorry. Isn’t it past your bedtime, Jace? Why don’t you head to bed?”
He stands from the steps, saying, “Bye!” and heads downstairs.
Five days? Seven days? Maybe, eight days I’ve waited for Nathan to come back, to text me, or to call. A few steps away from the door, ready to split at any second and race across the world to see him, I sit. I lean against the wall and let a yawn escape.
Laine’s not stopped complaining for the past four days. “This is bloody ridiculous, Black Eyes!” He throws the strap of his duffle bag on his shoulder. “I won’t sit here while you waste your life on a lost cause. That guy who walked in here wasn’t your mate. Why can’t you accept this?”
“Because, Laine.” I push my hands over my hair and rest my bowed head against my inner arms. “You never give up on the people you love. If you had the chance to go back and save your mother from being murdered by your hand, wouldn’t you do it? Wouldn’t you fight to remember her in order to save her?”
He looks down and away. There’s a slight pinch to his brows, but it doesn’t stick. “Apparently not,” he mutters and turns for the door. “I won’t watch you kill yourself, Tracey. I care about you too.”
“Shut up about how you care about me, Laine. You don’t.” I sit up and rest my elbows on my knees, so I can point as I say, “You care about me enough to leave, but not enough to support me. If you don’t regret what Lunis did to you, I sure do.”
Laine closes the front door behind his exit. The click from it closing echoes in my ears like a shout in a deep cave. Displaying emotions with sensible words has never been Laine’s strongest attribute, and when he does express himself, it’s an all-out gesture; like when he kissed me in the sunroom at the Castle of Torture. Him walking out on me, when it’s so clear I need him right now, is his way of being mad at me for God knows what!
Soft footsteps come down the hall from Taylor’s room. “Hey. You want me to wait up for Nathan so you can lie down?” She sits and leans over on her knees as well. “Laine’s an asshole.”
Unannounced tears fill my eyes. They creep over my lids, and I catch them with the heel of my hand and quickly scrape them away.
“You remember when you asked what you did to deserve the punishment of losing everything?”
She nods, eyes reddening with her own tears threatening their descent.
“I think I get it.” I roughly wipe my face, pissed my tears won’t stop staining my cheeks. “You thought it was because of Karma.” I meet her eyes. “It’s not, Taylor. There are some people in the world who are only meant to experience happiness once in their life. They are meant to fall in love once, meant to only be hurt once, meant to die . . . once. Some people, they meet the love of their life and then, that love dies, they die. And that bliss was only meant for them that one time.”
“That’s not fair.”
“But it is,” I say, tears finally dry as I’m washed with the realization. “Isn’t it? You got the chance to experience something most people can’t even fathom. Most people will never come close to feeling, most people force in a ploy to claim happiness. Love. It’s why he had said he’ll take that once than to never take the chance at all. See, you—we. We got to experience it to its utmost potential. Nearly. And that’s it. We’ve had our happiness.” I follow my rant with a breathless whisper, “That’s all we get.”
“Some people aren’t meant to be fine,” she breaks in. “Some people’s point in life is to experience that temporary feeling of happiness and just be ultimately fucked once that ends . . . Forever?”
&nbs
p; I look away from her. “Exactly.”
“That’d mean there’d be no hope. And if there is no hope, there is no faith. And if there is no faith, there is no life. And if there is no life, well . . . not a breath is worth breathing.” She goes quiet, then her voice lowers an octave, becoming airier as she explains, “Maybe for me, but not for you. I felt it in Nathan the day he met you. He’d tear apart the universe for you, Tracey. He’d have you again and again if he was offered the opportunity. Nathan would never give up on you, so don’t you sit here and give up on him. When Lunis took you, Nathan didn’t rest, at all.”
She twists me to face her. “If I found out Justin was alive, and I hadn’t seen him, do you think I’d be sitting on my ass, crying about it, complaining to my sister? Hell no! I’d be going through any and everything that stood between me and my finding him. God and the devil would need to hold me back to keep us apart. You all would have to tie me to my fucking bed to keep me from chasing him down.” She breathes through her mouth and calm clears the red churn in her eyes. “You have an opportunity I will never have. You’ve had your mate twice. Experienced love with him in two different ways we never get to. So, get off your ass and you get out there and rip the hearts out of anyone who stands in your way. Knockdown every building. Tear down the sky if that’s what it takes. He’d do it for you.”
I stand from the stairs and head out on a hunt for my mate.
I call Nathan and the line rings back disconnected as it has for the past week. I drive to his apartment and climb up to the third floor. I knock on his door, but from the sounds coming from beyond it, it won’t be him who answers. Yet, hope pulls my heartstrings.
“Yes?” the young lady says, as she’s pulling the door open. “Can I help you?”
“Um. No.” I back away from the door. “Sorry.” I twist around and race for the stairs. Clearing them, I quickly exit the building and jump in the car. The tires screech as I peel out of the parking spot, and horns blow as the tires of other cars cry to a stop behind me.
I smash the gas, hands gripped so tightly around the steering wheel my knuckles go white. I pant. My heart’s racing and my mind is a whirl of anxiety.
We saw him. He definitely exists! I just need to find him.
Red and blue lights flash in the rearview, lightening up the car like strobe lights. I steal a glance in the mirror. “Shit!” I cuss under my breath as I pull to the side of the road. Slamming my head against the headrest, I blurt, “This is the last thing I need right now!”
A bright light beams into my car, and I have to flip the rearview mirror to not be blinded by it. In the side-view mirror, the officer exits his car and slams the door. Hard sole boots smack the ground as he crosses the car-length distance of space from his patrol car to my driver’s side window.
I press the clicker to roll it down.
“Tracey,” he calls, and I instantly recognize the voice.
Flooded with anger, I clutched the door handle in my hand and when he makes to my door, with all my might I shove the door open, knocking him over. Out of the car and on my feet, I charge across the concrete and stand over him laying with his arm clutched around his stomach. “You slimy son of a bitch!” I yell with an aggressive point against his chest. “Where is he?”
Rising, his frame towers over mine. “There will forever be something standing in your way.”
“You knew this entire time my mate was alive, didn’t you?”
“There is only so much I can reveal. Knowledge only goes so far.”
I hate this guy! “Chislon, I didn’t invade your life. We didn’t ask for any of this. What do you want from me? You’re as vague as the two-word answer ‘kind of.’”
“I don’t understand.”
“Exactly!” I shout. I turn for the car.
“You finally see. But you must not chase your dreams,” he declares. “Hell will lie in your future and you will not be any better off tomorrow than you are today. Continue your journey as you were, a life where you were not tormented by the plagues of his life, and now your own. You must realize that there are times when your lonely suffering is greater than a thousand suffering. That your pain right now, is not permanent, but the result of the two tethered is death and that is forever.”
“Apparently it’s not.” I throw a dismissive wave in his direction as I continue to the car. As I get in, I say, “Give me a reason.”
“You two are a beginning of ruin for more lives than your own. What you will become, the weapon in the hands of one of the darkest beasts this world has known, will cause such a calamity that can never be rectified. Your beginning is also your ending. Who you are today will no longer be. You will become the darkness, you will become that evil.”
I jump to my feet and angrily declare, “I choose who and what I become! Not you and not this world!”
“You don’t have control over fate, Tracey.”
“The hell I don’t. Prophecies, and hexes, and fate do not make us who we are! Our choices do. I can choose to not be this,” I snap my fingers and burst into flames, seeing a blur of red through tinted vision. The orange and red glow of my blaze brightens Tarleton’s caramel skin. In his eyes, I watch my reflection, the dancing fire surrounding my body, the vines around my eyes, and the darkness in me. “This world took him away, and this is what I’ve become. That unnerving ash from the hourglass slithered inside of me and did something to me,” I rant aggressively. The yell I’m containing makes my voice a bit raspy. “It’s changed me and there’s nothing I can do about that. But I will not allow this or anyone else to control me. Not even you.”
“There is fire in your eyes,” he utters.
Damn right there is! There’s so much stuff wrong with me I could write a damn book! “There is rage and anger and darkness in me that I’m doing my best to control. But the more you and this world dish at me, the harder it gets. The more you give and take away, the more I want to let go. The more I’m away from him—that he is away from me—the more I’m willing to release my own hell on this earth. Now get the fuck out of my way!”
Fear takes over his eyes as he steps aside. “Oh my,” he mumbles. His hand drags down his mouth, and he sobers his wide eyes. “We assumed they’d stop coming after you because you and your mate were not together and they finally accepted that. When in fact, they led you right to him.” His heavy hands slam down on my shoulders. He grips me tightly as I assume the fire’s burning his flesh. “Did you not notice the sand looked exactly like the Qualms when they disperse from your presence?” he shouts angrily. “Did you ignore the fact that your present time evaporated—disappeared—as it would when they’ve forced you to see their apparitions?”
I will myself back to normal, and we’re swallowed by the darkness, only light provided by the cars behind us. “I don’t understand.”
“The hourglass was it? A skull on one end, heart on the other?”
I nod.
“Haberens,” he whispers the word. “It’s an object that can retain Essezichet, a curse that alters perception, making it so whoever holds it sees what the entity who hexed it requires. It can cause turmoil and will entreat anyone, so whatever was placed inside can be released. The Qualms weren’t distracted or afraid. They have been quiet on purpose. They put you in a position to get exactly what they’ve wanted. Now, the only option is for you to return as you were. Or, you are correct, your wrath will take you over and desire the darkness of a Qualm to bind with you. You will become what they want and they will get out of you what they desire. Control. Your mate. Your power. The Seeing of Death.”
His reveal is spoken as though each word were a realization to himself instead of an inform to me. I shuffle out of his grasp, stumbling over my feet as I retract, wanting to make it to my car.
“Go, Tracey,” he says, evaporating into a white poof of smoke. “I’m sorry I’ve let you down.”
I jump in the car and speed home. The Qualms wanted me and found the perfect way to get me. I’ve been a pawn. Le
d them straight to Nathan and now we’re both in danger. I swore I wouldn’t be controlled, and I’m sticking to my promise.
When I arrive, my snake of fire slithers from my palm, and its dark eyes meet mine. As its tongue slithers out and back in its mouth, it nods.
“Thank you,” I say. “Taylor!” I call. She rushes down, and I inform, “Let’s find Nathan.”
Almost Lover
Tracey
Two stinking months, seventeen sour days, and four dreary hours have flown by while Taylor and I hunt for Nathan non-stop. Our search has driven us across states, to low and high ends of cities. I’ve crossed oceans for this boy, and it was one hell of a trip. We found him once, in New York City.
It’s only because of my snake of fire that I knew it was him because although he looked like Nathan, this guy was angry and mean. At just the sight of Taylor and me, he instantly gave his control to his demon and snarled a furious threat. Taylor kept me back, fearful that if we got too close, we’d be turned into nothing. It was there, a promise in his eyes that guaranteed Taylor’s assumptions were true.
We didn’t get the chance to talk to him. There was a tall guy with him, he mumbled something as he pulled Nathan away. Taylor and I stood in an urban part of town, surrounded by motels and nightclubs, neither of us sure what our next move should be. But we didn’t follow, not willing to die that night.
Carmen accompanies Taylor and me tonight. We’re on yet another road trip, my fire snake zipping past cars and around corners, leading us to another place it assumes Nathan will be.
“Do you have any idea where we’re going, Tracey?”
“Yes, Carmen. No matter how many times you ask, my answer will continue to be the same,” I tell her, flustered. “You need to sit back and be patient.”
Finite: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 4) Page 18
