“I’m beat,” Cinder said breaking the silence and pulling me out of my own head.
“Want me to carry you?”
“You don’t have to do that,” he laughed.
“You didn’t say no.” I scooped him up and tossed him over my shoulder.
He laughed and slapped me on the ass. My dick stirred and I pushed down the hungry growl of my wolf as I copped a feel on him. His ass was firm and round under my hand. The boardwalk was full of shoppers and lovers meeting for dinner. None of them looked at us, but we didn’t pay them any mind either. Cookie followed on our heels picking up bits and pieces of dropped food here and there. Mostly fries that escaped from the tiny hands of children.
“I could get used to this,” Cinder said when we were almost home.
“To being carried around like a sack of potatoes?”
“Beats walking home after a long day.”
I unlocked the door and went inside without setting him down.
“I can walk now.” He laughed and patted my ass again.
This time a growl escaped my throat. Cinder tensed, but his scent wasn’t fearful. Arousal tinged its edges.
“I’m a gentleman,” I said more to remind myself than him. “And a gentleman always carries his date to the door.”
“It’s a gentleman walks his date to the door and we’re already inside.” He laughed and twisted to try to look at me.
“This door then,” I pointed at his bedroom door and set him down on his feet.
He held my shoulder for a second until he found his footing. Our gazes locked and he stepped closer.
“Kiss him,” my wolf whispered.
Shut up. None of this is real.
“Kiss him!”
Cinder leaned into my chest and I wrapped an arm around his hips instinctively.
“Do you mind if I take a nap before I order dinner?” He asked without breaking our connection.
“Not at all. When you wake up, we’ll order in.”
“I can cook.” He rested his hand against my bare chest.
“Let’s order in and just make a day of it.”
“Alright, if you’re sure. I don’t have much cash on me, though.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay,” he nodded.
“Kiss him!” My wolf growled.
Cinder rose to his toes as if he heard the call of my wolf. His lean muscular body pressed hard against mine and I pulled him a little closer and tightened my hold on him. I ran my thumb the length of his jawline and then over the swell of his kissable bottom lip. Slowly, the space between us closed. Our lips brushed together softly at first. Then harder and more determined to chase away the loneliness which plagued us both for too long.
I gave into the jumble of longing and hesitation in my stomach and just let life unfold before me. Cinder stepped backwards pulling me with him until his back rested against the wall. His lips parted inviting me into his soft warm mouth. He still tasted like the gallon of chocolate ice cream he had from lunch. I ran my free hand over his hips and sides exploring his lean muscles as my dick grew harder against his belly with each passing second.
“I think I should lay down,” Cinder broke the kiss suddenly.
“Okay.” I nodded and stepped back to let him go into the solace of his new bedroom.
Told you so.
“It worked out okay.”
He realized I’m not Sivan even if I dumped fish brains on an overgrown lizard. Besides, he’s Carter’s son. When he finds out I kissed him he’s gonna slug me.
I listened to Cinder breath through his bedroom door for a long moment. No tears fell and no sobs tore from his chest. At least, I hadn’t done any lasting damage by giving in. When I was sure he was fine I headed downstairs and dug out the sunburn cream. I left it and the takeout menus on the kitchen table for him to find. I scribbled a note on the topmost menu telling him to charge his dinner to my tab. Then I headed back home to the sea.
Chapter Fifteen
Cinder
My heart pounded in my ears as I stepped into the shower to wash off the sand and salt from the day at the beach. Seth’s warmth lingered on my lips and everywhere he touched me. The fire in my belly still burned for him, but something held me back. He tasted delicious and I felt something in his arms I hadn’t felt in over a decade.
“Don’t go there right now,” my dragon warned. “You’re tired and sun burnt. Take a nap and let it heal up.”
For once, I didn’t argue with my inner beast. Thinking about Sivan right now felt like sacrilege. What right did I have to sully his memory? I fell into bed naked and shivering from the cool breeze blowing through the open window I was too exhausted to shut.
My dreams were a spiraling mess of Sivan and Seth. They danced together in the waves laughing and splashing each other as I watched from shore. The closer I walked to the water the further out to sea they swam. I ran, panting for air, as the hot sun beat down on my tender flesh. The sand burnt like hot coals under my bare feet.
“Wait up! You guys! I can’t keep up! Don’t leave me here alone!” I called out.
My shouts bounced around the empty bedroom and back to my ears. I startled awake panting and reaching out for someone, anyone through the darkness. As usual I was alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed Seth hadn’t heard me shouting. I sniffed and didn’t find his fresh scent.
“Seth?” I called out as I stumbled out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans from the dresser.
I walked downstairs squinting against all the bright lights we left on earlier and into the kitchen. On the table was a note from Seth about charging dinner to his tab. My shoulders burnt when I bent to pick it up.
“Lotion!” My dragon let out a triumphant roar. “Salt and sun don’t agree with my scales.”
I turned on the kitchen faucet and drank straight from it to soothe my parched throat. Then I slathered on a thick layer of lotion on my face, neck, and every part of my torso within reach. Sleep healed most of it, but as long as my dragon’s scales were unhappy, I’d feel yucky. Hopefully, the lotion would soothe both of us.
“He’s gone,” I whispered to myself.
My heart sank into my stomach as I walked back into the living room. The curtains hung where I left them, and Seth’s boxes were still stacked in the middle of the room. I let out a long sigh of relief.
“He’s gone to the boat for a nap,” I told my dragon.
“Duh. What did you think would happen after the kiss ended like that?”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Damn it to Frost’s Pit and back. Why did I do that?
“Because this is all new. I’m hungry. Let’s order something.”
How can you think of food right now?
“Not eating won’t fix things with Seth. Besides, we don’t even know if things are broken.”
This would be so much easier with a mate connection.
“Chosen mates have ‘cheat’ connections. They’re not as strong, but it would be useful right now.”
What do you want for dinner?
“An elephant, but I’ll settle for whatever gets here the quickest.”
***
In hopes of patching things up with Seth I ordered enough delivery for two. I settled on pizza, because everyone loved pizza. I kept it simple and carnivoristic. Meat and cheese and lots of it. I managed to pull a soft shirt over my head while I waited for the food to arrive. The lotion soothed away most of the sting and made moving bearable. I need a dragon fruit rub down but wasn’t about to ask Seth to slather me up in anything. He finally let his walls down earlier and let me inside. Then I ran.
“You excused yourself first,” my dragon said.
Some help you are. Don’t you care that we sounded like morons?
“I didn’t sound like a moron. I didn’t say anything. I finally got a good sniff of that wolf, though, and I’m not disappointed.”
You should be. This isn’t going anywhere now.
“Stop pooping on my party.”<
br />
A gangly limbed fox beta delivered dinner without a hello or goodbye. He shoved the pizza boxes in my arms and sprinted down the driveway. I looked around the house for the keys but didn’t find them. Figuring, Seth took them with him, I locked up the house and headed down to the dock.
The moon hung high in the sky whispering the secrets only lovers at midnight spoke of. The island smelled of families and flings, of students’ stress and drinking games to decompress. The world smelled alive like ivy growing around a civilized world. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other and didn’t think too hard about what I’d say when I saw Seth.
He stood on the upper deck where we spent most of our time at sea. The night breeze ruffled his hair as he leaned against the railing looking over the town.
“Hey!” He waved from the boat.
“Hey, yourself. Thought you ran off and left me. I brought dinner,” I managed a nervous laugh. “Permission to come aboard?”
“Always.” Seth waved me up.
Once I was aboard the boat, we took up our usual place in front of the navigational panel and I set out the food. Seth headed downstairs to grab a couple of beers and water bottles. I usually didn’t drink beer, but with Seth I tried things that would make my dad shake his head.
“He’s probably worried sick,” my dragon sighed.
I shook off the thought. Dad made his bed and now he could just sleep in it until I was ready to talk to him. If I was ever ready.
Seth and I didn’t say much as we dug into the pizza. With every slice one of us scooted a little closer to the other testing just how close was too close. We stopped only when our knees touched.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I said when we finally ate our fill of the pizza.
“Don’t be.” He shook his head.
“But I am. I shouldn’t have run off like that. I just…”
“Sivan.” He said my dead mate’s name.
“It’s not what you think.”
“It’s not Sivan?” He arched a brow.
“No, it is, but it’s the same reason I feel guilty for pigging out on pizza. He can’t do it anymore.”
“That might not be true.” Seth shrugged.
“Huh?”
“Look, my brother is obsessed with lore and the Other World shows up a lot in his studies. He’s the sort who can’t keep these little factoids to himself. The Other World for the most part sounds like a great place to be. If Sivan’s still hanging around there, I’m sure he can have pizza anytime he wants it.”
“Stacy too.” I said and squeezed his hand.
“She was more of a Chinese takeout girl.”
“Sivan loved food in general.”
“How are we going to do this?” Seth finally looked me in the eye.
“Do what exactly?” I asked and turned away to hide the blush creeping over my cheeks.
“This scheme. We got too close and kissed. That wasn’t the right way to do it.”
“It wasn’t the wrong way.” I shook my head.
“Wasn’t it?” Seth asked.
“No. I don’t think so, at least. Anything new is going to take time. Sivan can’t kiss you and that bothers me.”
“I’ve never kissed another Alpha and would like to keep it that way if it’s all the same to you.” Seth smirked.
“You know what I meant.” I laughed.
“He can’t be here, but maybe that’s the point. They can’t be here. We’ll never know for sure what they’d want, but I know Sivan well enough to know he’d want me to be happy. That’s why I couldn’t marry Reggie. Do you know our first night together we didn’t mate? Sivan spent the evening driving around town looking for any place open on Yule that would make a decent pizza, because I wanted one.”
Seth didn’t say anything for a long time.
“You’re not ready for anything like this.”
His words boiled my blood.
“Who are you to tell me I’m not ready for anything?” I growled.
“You were there earlier. Whether it’s because of Sivan, Reggie, or whoever you’re not ready. I don’t want to rush into anything that’s not going to make us happy.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” I stood up. “I’ve been going through the motions of life since Sivan died. I just wanted to sit in our house and wither away so I could be with him. My parents dragged me off to work with them, so I didn’t rot. Then I met you. I’ve had fun. I’ve laughed. I feel alive again. Do you know what I felt when you kissed me?”
“His dick against your belly,” my dragon chimed in.
“I was happy and when I realized that it terrified me, because the last time I was happy the carpet was pulled out from under me without warning. If you’re not ready for something new, fine! Speak up about it, but don’t blame it on me!”
“What do you think will happen once you realize you’re free of Reggie? Do you think you’re really going to feel the same way?” Seth stood up.
“Why wouldn’t I? I don’t know what the future holds. No one does, but what would change when I’m finally free of him?” I growled.
“You’ll have choices.”
“I have choices. I’m a Moonscale widower. I could march up to any single Alpha or beta on this island and they’d be happy to wine and dine me, but I don’t want that life! If I did, I could’ve married Reggie. I want to really live again, and I want to know what makes you tick!”
“We can’t do this.” Seth shook his head.
“Fine! I’ll just get out of your way then! I’ll send someone tomorrow for my stuff!” I said and blinked back tears.
My wings came out breaking through my sun burnt skin. I hissed in pain as I glided down to the dock. Seth jumped over the side of the boat and landed in front of me.
“What?”
His arms slid around my waist and pulled me close. I parted my lips wanting him to kiss me but trembling because one of us might pull away too soon again. His lips closed on mine, conquering and surrendering, all at once. I leaned into the kiss enjoying his tongue swirling around my own. Rising to my toes, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders so he couldn’t pull away from me. I was afraid of being alone in the world again, but Seth feared letting anyone in. I didn’t know what he hid, but I saw straight into his heart when he went head-to-head with Reggie to save a man he never met before.
“That’s the last time I’m going to kiss you like that until we know the arranged marriage isn’t an issue. Then if you still want to give us a try, I’ll be all in.” Seth said when the kiss broke.
“What do we do in the meantime?” My voice trembled as I spoke.
“We keep up the charade, but alone we’re just friends. I don’t want you to choose me, because you’re afraid of the other option. As sentimental as it sounds, mateship is something sacred. Let’s not fuck with that even if our true-mates are dead.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “Don’t let go of me yet, though. My knees are still wobbling.”
Seth pulled me closer and I rested my head on his shoulder. Despite my attraction to him, I could deal with being friends. It’d been too long since I had anyone around who really had my back. Eventually, I’d break through Seth’s walls and give him my heart too.
Chapter Sixteen
Seth
That night in bed, I scrolled through articles about chosen mates. Most of the information pertained to those who never met their true-mate. Why wasn’t there a widowers’ support group or something? No one knew what to say when someone said their true-mate passed away. No one knew what to make of life throwing such an unfair curveball. I hadn’t had this problem since Stacy died. I navigated flirtatious situations by deception. If a guy flirted with me, I’d drop Stacy’s name and he’d assume I was straight. With women I used the same line as I had at the adoption center if I were ‘straight.’ Someday society would remember bisexuals existed everywhere and not just in boy bands. Until then it was a convenient way to avoid saying I didn’t want to move on. Part of me
still didn’t.
Next, I searched for “How to move on when you’re true-mate dies?”
Mostly lore popped up. In most of the stories one withers away while pining for the mate they’ll never hold again in this lifetime. I was never good at withering, so I moved on down the list. Other sites led to personal autobiographical blogs about what widowers did after their true-mates died. I wasn’t about to take up knitting or open a bed and breakfast.
“Maybe try ‘is it love at first sight?’” My wolf said.
It wasn’t. I don’t think it was. Shut up. I can’t talk and read at the same time.
“Said the llama.”
Shut up. We still need to figure out what to do about Cinder. By now I’m surprised Carter doesn’t know he’s missing.
“Or he does and he’s on another bender.”
He hasn’t done that in years. Bite your tail.
I sent him a text message just in case.
ME: What’s up?
CARTER: Mopping out trucks.
ME: How’s group?
CARTER: Same.
ME: Anything new?
CARTER: You bored on that rich man’s island or something?
ME: Something.
CARTER: Let’s talk another time. I got work to do.
ME: Later.
“That was enlightening.”
Carter wasn’t much of a texter. He wasn’t much of a phone person, either, unless you were a client. He needed to bring his scaly ass to meet his son. Only, until he was on the island and I could sit on him I wasn’t willing to risk his sobriety with the news.
I was about to call it a night when my phone vibrated. Cookie growled somewhere under the cover and I patted the bed to tell her to shut up.
“Hello?” I answered expecting Carter to answer from the other side.
“Hey, brother. Sorry to bother you so late at night, but Brendan just picked something up on the Moonscale Flight link that you might want to hear about ahead of time,” Rhett said from the other end of the line.
“What’s up?” I sat up and swung my feet to the floor.
Adrenaline surged through my veins. The last time Rhett called in the middle of the night excitement followed.
Saving Cinder Page 8
