“For God’s sake, Emilia!” I hear as I wake, falling backwards. I scramble to try and not hit the floor, trying to climb to my get I get tangled and trip forward, ploughing straight into Cade.
“I am so sorry!” I can feel the redness climb up my throat and warm my cheeks. I’ve never been the most graceful, but fuck my life, this is a whole different level for me. He holds my waist steady and firm as I right myself, I look up at him and my breath escapes me. I forgot how his eyes were flecked with gold, how deep they were, as if I was looking inside of him.
“What do you want, Emilia?” It’s almost a growl, and it sobers me to the situation. I step back and smooth down my clothes, wrinkled from being in that position all night.
“I tried to speak to you last night, I wanted to ask you to reconsider my position. Please, Cade. You have no idea how much this matters to me.” My voice isn’t much more than a rasp, I look back up at him, but his eyes are fixed on my throat, and I can see the rage burning brighter. I touch my neck and wince at the contact. I’d forgotten about Lex in my fluster. I don’t want to think about what I look like right now.
“Who did that?” His voice is commanding, demanding an answer, but I look at him flatly. He must know, but I guess there wasn’t any bruising last night. He steps towards me and his hand snakes behind my neck, and his thumb brushes the bruising gently, for a minute it’s as if we’re thrown into the past, and his eyes close to half-mast, the fire burning there, and just for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me. Until he steps back and withdraws his hand as if I burnt him.
“That doesn’t matter, what’s done is done. It’s nothing I need you to focus on what I’m saying, Cade. Please.”
“It matters,” he mutters, pulling his hand down his face, and that’s when I see him again. My Cade. The one I used to know. The way he is looking at me is exactly how he looked at me the day we became friends. When a group of Fae had been pushing me around, pulling my hair, trying to cut me or bruise me, just because they could. He saved me that day, and we were friends from then on.
“It’s not nothing, Emilia. You are a guest here, and despite what you might think, your safety is important to us.”
“You already know who it was Cade; I don’t need to tell you. That’s not why I’m here.” I look him straight in the eye, and I can see the conflict inside him. Granting my wish means going against his father. I hold my breath while I watch him think it over.
“Fine. You get a second chance, but you need to know that there’s more coming, Emilia. I will not grant you this again. I won’t be able to change my father’s mind again if you don’t play the game.”
“Thank you, Cade.” I rush forward without thinking and hug him tightly. He’s stiff as a board, but loosens after a few seconds, and runs his hand down my hair, his other arm circling me.
“If he hurts you again, you need to tell me.” I nod, but I know I won’t. I’m starting to succeed; I came here for a reason, and I’m not going to let something or someone like Lex get in my way.
“I mean it, Emilia. If anyone hurts you, you need to tell me.”
“And what if the one who hurts me the most is you?” The words fall from my mouth before I can stop them.
“Then I shall carry that shame and burden with me and add it to the weight I already carry. I know I hurt you before Emilia. More than either of us wants to really admit out loud. I ruined all of those possibilities of what could have been, but I can’t take it back.”
I take a step back, his words stealing the breath in my lungs. What does that even mean?
“Good luck, Emilia. I truly hope that you can see past the monster I know you see when you look at me, despite everything. I never wanted to be the thing that you ran from, just the man you ran to that made your heart sing.” He steps forward, and I take another step back, into the hall, and he closes the door softly, putting the barrier back between us.
What the fuck was that?
Chapter Eight
It’s been a few days since Cade granted my wish and confused me more than I ever thought possible. It seems it’s still the four of us battling it out. I’m more shocked that it hasn’t got tenser. The three of them seem genuinely friendly to each other, as for me, well, I’m nice enough, but I don’t want to get too close. I don’t need any more complications than necessary. I climb out of the shower, wrapping the fluffy white towel around me and pad into the room. I catch sight of myself in the mirror, and I can’t help but stare. The bruises around my neck have faded to a sickly yellow-green, luckily the weather has turned colder, so no one has questioned my scarves. Something else seems different about me too, and I think it’s my eyes. I don’t look as angry as I have in the last few years. I think being here has changed a part of me. I’ve had the chance to get to know these people again, and I’ve started to move past my grief. The knowledge shocks me, but at the same time, it feels right to be moving past it after all of this time. While I’d still rather be back on that beach with Oberon, being here now isn’t the worst place in the world.
I lift my head at the sound of my door opening and see Rowan’s head peek in, he sees me, and a blush creeps up his cheeks, and he closes his eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean . . . I mean, hi. I came to tell you we’re having a dinner tonight. The family and the four of you. I just wanted to let you know, because obviously my father is my father, and I wanted to give you a heads up before Cybil arrives in about an hour and surprises you with it.” I pull my towel tighter and smile at him.
“Thank you. I guess I better get myself presentable.”
“You look beautiful, Emilia. You always do,” he murmurs, pulling the door closed and leaving me alone again. I sit on the bed, and Lanora’s words haunt me, “Remember which of my sons you’re here for . . .” I don’t want to overcomplicate what is already a ridiculous mess, I don’t want Rowan to get hurt, plus he’s my only real ally here. I need to stop this before it gets any more complicated.
I stand with purpose; my first hurdle is tonight’s dinner, I’ll worry about everything else after. I exchange my towels for my robe and then sit and dry my hair, carefully pulling it backwards into rolls, weaving white baby’s breath from the vase of flowers on the mantel into the back on my hair. I place my black tiara in the front of my hair and let curled strands fall down and frame my face. I paint my face with dark eyes and light lips, highlighting the strong lines of my cheekbones but softening my jaw. I study my reflection, and I look almost identical to how I did the night Edimere died, the only real difference is my eyes, the blue looks darker, older, wiser now. I’m not a glassy-eyed girl crushing on a boy, hoping he might want her too.
A knock raps on my door, and I smile as Cybil enters looking flustered.
“Dinner, tonight. With the Vasaras in the main dining room. Be ready in twenty minutes.” She eyes me up and down with a disapproving frown, working out that this isn’t as last minute for me as it is for her, but I smile at her regardless.
“Yes, of course. I’ll be ready to go in ten.” I stand and close the door as she harrumphs in the hall, it’s a tiny win, but I’ll take it. That woman has been getting on my last nerve. I pad over to my closet and look through the many dresses in here that were picked for me and put in here. I don’t know who picked them, but whoever did must’ve known me slightly. Each dress is one I would’ve picked for myself, all in dark, rich colors. I pull out the deep royal blue one that almost matches my eyes and I know that’s the one for tonight. I slide it off the hanger and step into the silky material, pulling it up and looping my arm through the thick straps. I struggle with the zip, but once it’s up, I take a step back and look at myself in the mirror. I’m the eldest of all of the princesses here, not that the others are children, but they haven’t lived life fully, and it shows. I take in my reflection, and I look ready to take on the world. To go to war. I open the door and stroll into the hall; my head held high. Tonight, I’ll show them what I’m really made of. Tonight, I’ll pro
ve why I’m meant to be here. Tonight, I’ll save Oberon and Erion’s lives.
I glide towards the main dining hall unaccompanied, a feeling I relish as it’s rare I don’t have an escort these days. I reach the main doors and bow my head to the guards at the doors, who nod back and open a door each in turn. I enter the room, and I see the Vasaras sitting around the top of the table, but I am the first guest to enter. I walk towards the table, keeping my head held high. King Earon sits at the head of the table, with Lanora to his right, and Cade to his left while Rowan sits to Lanora’s left. I curtsy when I reach the table, waiting for an instruction of where to sit, handing the power over my evening over to them temporarily. Cade and Rowan both stand at my approach, but Earon waves at them to sit.
“Emilia, nice of you to join us,” he says with a sneer. “Though I was sure you’d been dismissed previously. My mistake, I guess. Please, take a seat.” The displeasure drips from his words as I take a seat next to Cade and opposite Rowan when the doors open again, and the other three girls arrive with an even further flustered Cybil. I smile at her sweetly and she glares once she sees me. Arabella, Talia, and Centra make their way towards us and the princes stand again, until they sit. Centra sits next to me, with Talia opposite Earon at the foot of the table leaving Arabella to sit next to Rowan, and she blushes slightly as she sits.
“Thank you all for joining us this evening,” Earon says to the three of them, raising his glass of clear fizz, which I just know is nectar to them. “A toast, to my sons. For becoming the men, I wanted them to be, and to Cade, the next King of the Winter Palace.” At his toast, the serving doors burst open, and a dozen people flit about the room, refilling glasses, placing down dishes before scurrying away as if staying too long will cause them a great deal of pain, and I guess it would if they stepped out of line here. King Earon’s temper is legendary, and as I know firsthand, brutality is his favorite game. Add the nectar to his normal charming ways, and tonight has disaster written all over it. It’s the most potent form of alcohol available in our realm, crafted with magik to give the drinker a true escape. To feel what humans feel when they drink alcohol in excess. I never understood the appeal, but apparently, King Earon has a taste for the stuff.
We wait for the king to start eating before lifting our cutlery. I don’t feel particularly hungry, but not eating would be an offence to the hosts, so I swallow down enough of the soup in front of me to have made a dent in it, avoiding the conversations going on around me and keep my eyes down. I don’t want to start anything tonight; I merely want to survive the dinner. This is meant to be war, and tonight is just another battle, and if I can avoid the king’s brutality, then I’ll take it as a win, even if that means sacrificing the others.
“Arabella, tell me,” King Earon says, an evil glint in his eye. “What really brought you here? Was it the chance to marry my boy, Cade? Or was it so that you could get closer to his brother? Whore yourself out to both of them, in hopes that someone would love you. I can’t say I’m surprised; your mother left you at such a young age, god only knows what it was like growing up with just your father. Did he teach you the ways of becoming a woman, I wonder? There were always rumors when he didn’t take another lover after your mother. And after your performing skills at the presentation, I have to wonder where you learnt to debase yourself in such a way.”
“Father, stop.” Cade growls. “Tonight is not about you and your games. It was meant to be a nice dinner, time to get to know each other.”
“And what is it you think I’m doing if not getting to know our young Arabella?” He laughs, taking another glug of his nectar. Arabella bursts into tears and runs from the room.
“Well, another one bites the dust, I guess,” he says as he finishes his glass and the servers reappear, taking away the soup dishes and placing platters of meats, lobster, and so many other things on the table in front of us. Cade sits back down next to me, and I can feel the anger radiating from him, and he communicates silently with Lanora, while Rowan looks like he’d just rather be anywhere but here.
“That, sir, was really quite unnecessary. Arabella might be the youngest and meekness of us all here, but what you did was beyond cruel. She could’ve been your future daughter-in-law. The mother of your grandchildren. And you disrespect her in such a way? It is not a surprise, so few wanted to step forward to marry your son. The fear he would become the disgrace to the crown you are is a real one.” Centra stands as she dresses down King Earon, trying to defend her friend. I almost miss the action as he picks up his steak knife and flicks his wrist, sending the knife flying towards her. It hits its target in the center of her chest as he stands and roars.
“Do not forget your place here, girl. You are nothing if we do not approve it. You do not get to speak to me like that, ever. Your lesson will be costly.” He takes his seat again, before filling his plate with meat and fruit as Centra struggles to breathe beside me. I look frantically to the brothers and Lanora, who all stay seated.
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter before grabbing Centra, making sure she doesn’t dislodge the knife and take her to the guards at the door.
“Get the healers here quickly; otherwise, full-scale war is likely to descend on this court,” I tell them as they take in the scene, and one of them runs off down the hall while the other takes Centra from me with a small grimace.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I turn and walk back into the room to face the fallout of my actions.
I take my place next to Cade again quietly and catch his eye, he thanks me in the only way he can, but this is madness. Where is the headstrong Cade gone, and why the hell will no one stand up to Earon?
“Emilia, thank you for taking out the trash. You must join me for a glass.” He raises his glass of nectar and clicks his fingers. A server appears and places a glass in front of me, I don’t want to drink it, it’s meant to be the most addictive substance to the Fae but turning it down could jeopardize why I’m here. I smile, and it doesn’t quite reach my eyes as I lift the glass to my lips and take a mouthful. The flavors burst inside my mouth, and I feel like I’ve not drank anything for a week, the dryness of my mouth urges me to drink more of the sweetness, but I put the glass down and grab my glass of water before I lose what’s left of my self-restraint. Earon laughs at me as the nectar starts to affect me. I grip the table tightly as the edges of my sight start to blur. I try to remain calm, but I can feel my heart racing.
“What have you done?” Rowan demands opposite me, and while I’m glad he finally found his voice, I’d much rather he just get me out of here.
“Only got our princess here to loosen up a bit. Her parents certainly know how to party these days; you saw that for yourself, Rowan.” I hear as Rowan curses, and I can almost feel the questioning gazes from Cade and Lanora. “Maybe now she’ll embrace her true nature and prove that she has what it takes to be one of us.”
***
I open my eyes from my crouched position; the pounding in my head makes it hard to see. But not hard enough that I can’t see it. The blood. It coats my hands and arms, the floor beneath me. I lift my head, my hair flinging behind me is matted, but now I see it all.
What have I done?
There are bodies scattered across the floor, some dismembered, some unrecognizable. I try to stand, but my legs fail me. This couldn’t have been me. I wouldn’t do this. That’s when I feel him behind me, I spin around to face him, feeling as feral as I’m sure I look.
“What did you do?”
“Oh, I didn’t do anything, Emilia. This was all you.” There’s a smug smile on his face, and I want to wipe it off. My rage flares, and it’s like a whole new beast I’ve never felt before. I feel my fire come to the surface, and I know my eyes are glowing.
“You’re lying. You did something. You must have, I wouldn’t have done this.”
“No, Emilia. This is the reality of being what you are. We all have a monster inside of us, yours just hasn’t come out to play before. There’s m
ore to you than you know, than any of us know.”
I feel a tear of anger and frustration run down my face, and I can almost taste my fear at his words. This can’t be who I really am. Yes, my kind might be cruel by nature, but this is not who I am. I don’t want to believe it, even as the memories from last night filter in. The nectar. King Earon’s words about me being who I really am. No. I won’t believe it. I stand and face him head-on, pulling on my anger to strengthen my shaking legs, to keep me strong.
“Then why don’t I remember? How do I know any of this was really me? This could all be a ruse, a way to try and break me.”
“That would be the nectar. You did exactly as my father predicted. Exactly what he wanted of you. You showed us the real you. The you that you hide inside, buried deep. Turns out when you let her come out to play when you let go of your high standards and your graces. Thinking you were better than the rest of us.” His cruel words cut me, but I can’t believe I did this. I look at him closely, and his eyes give him away. He doesn’t mean his words. I’m not sure when I started seeing him properly again, but I know in this moment that the connection Cade and I once had is still there.
“I did not do this, Cade. And you will not convince me otherwise.” I cross my arms, the blood still coating my blue dress looks almost black, but I try not to think about it too much.
“I told you she wouldn’t fall for your stupid test, Mother,” Rowan calls from behind me, and I see him and Lanora entering the room, barely even noticing the death and destruction before them. I wince as they kick aside the bodies, the blood soaking into the hem of Lanora’s skirt.
Summer Princess (Dark Fae Book 1) Page 10
