“Where’s everyone at?” Beck asked James.
James appeared surprised to see us, and it was clear that we were interrupting his conversation. “Oh, I don’t know. They left a while ago.” James vaguely waved to the exit sign. His eyes were red and glossy.
Beck took out her phone and stepped away to make a call. She must be reaching out to Nolan. I turned back to the table before me, and James and his new friend were carrying on as if I was no longer present.
I thrust my hands into my pockets and looked around the bar. One gentleman in particular caught my eye. He was a little older than the rest of the crowd. Forties perhaps. He sat alone, red hair resting to the side of his face. I didn’t have to see his eyes to know he was a Tethered Soul. I could feel it. The same way someone knows when they’re being watched, even though, presumably, nobody’s in the room with them. I simply knew that in this bar full of strangers, he and I were the same. He’d lived many lives before, and his energy was palpable. The tortured pain of loneliness so thick I could reach out and touch it. On the contrary, Beck’s was weak. So weak that she didn’t even believe it to be true, and had I not known her in our last life, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
“I can’t get a hold of anyone. I think I’m going to turn in for the night.” I could see the disappointment etched in Beck’s face.
“What!? You can’t do that! It’s your birthday! You’ve got to celebrate!” I grabbed her hands and raised them into the air, forcing her to cheer for herself. It worked, but not for long. Her smile was fleeting.
“Well, I don’t know what to do. I mean, I don’t know where everyone is.”
“What does everyone have to do with anything?” I said, trying not to let her see my disappointment. I wasn’t enough. Not yet.
“Well, what do you want to do? It’s your birthday too!” she said.
“I would take it personally if you ditched me on my birthday. Let’s go have some fun! If not for you, then do it for me!” I knew it would work. She couldn’t let someone down.
“OK! Yeah, you’re right. I’m in! What are we doing?” Beck pushed the pale hair out of her face and rubbed her hands together in anticipation. A second wind.
I used this opportunity to take a page out of my playbook. “You know, I’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping, and I think that can be done off one of the skyscrapers here.” My stomach knotted while I said it. The last thing I wanted to do was jump off a building, but if I thought that Beck’s life would be enriched by doing so—and I did—I would jump right alongside her.
“Really!? Oh my god! I’ve always wanted to do that!” Her eyes were large and filled with excitement.
“Yeah! Or, we could get tattoos!” It was also on her list, and if I had my choice of being stabbed by a needle one trillion times or jumping off of a skyscraper, I would choose the mutilation.
“No way!” Beck’s mouth popped open, the light catching her lip gloss. I tried hard to keep my eyes on hers, but they kept dropping to her lips. Beck’s expression shifted, and the window of opportunity for an epic night was closing fast. “Maybe we should wait until—”
“Let’s order ourselves a cake and take it to the hot tub. We can give everyone a little while longer to resurface, and if they don’t, then we’ll jump off a building by ourselves. Deal?” As I continued, Beck’s lips sealed tight in deliberation. “We can’t celebrate our birthdays without a cake. We need to make a wish, right?”
“Deal! You had me at cake . . .”
It wasn’t my favorite plan, but at least she wasn’t going back to her room alone to wait for her boyfriend. We didn’t need to say goodbye to James. He wouldn’t remember it tomorrow anyway. My eyes jumped from James to the Tethered Soul at the bar before leaving. He hadn’t turned around, and I hoped that I would run into him again before the weekend was over.
Chapter 11
Beck dropped her towel on a nearby chair and kicked off her flip-flops. She reached her hand up to her hair and gathered it in a small ponytail and my eyes ran down her side, remembering our first time together. My jaw hardened, and my heart beat out of rhythm. Just as she lifted her head to look at me, I whipped my gaze away. Afraid I had given myself away, I made it worse by stumbling over my flip-flops. I looked back at her and caught the tail end of her smile. Of course, she saw it. I shook my head, disappointed in my lack of agility. I placed my card key on a small patio table before covering it with my towel, and then I pulled my shirt off over my head. If I wanted Beck to notice anything, it was this, but her back was turned.
I tried not to stare as Beck tiptoed into the hot tub. Her body was enveloped by the heat as steam rose around her. It was like a dream coming true before my very eyes, and I never wanted to wake up. My eyes trailed from her shoulders to her hips, noting the subtle differences from one life to the next. She was stronger. Healthier. Her skin, however, remained unchanged. Just as pale, it glistened like alabaster, even in the night’s shadows.
“I really do want to bungee jump,” she said, turning around to take me in. I was just as sun-deprived as she, but my skin didn’t glisten with the multitude of undertones like hers. She was simply stunning.
I stepped into the water and the smell of chlorine permeated the air and burned my nostrils. Pins and needles pricked my toes as I stepped deeper. My eyes set on Beck.
“I just think I would feel so free . . . like a bird in flight. Do you think it feels like that?”
I couldn’t help but let out a short, blunt laugh as I felt jumping would be the polar opposite. “No! I’m pretty sure it feels like your life is ending.”
Beck splashed me in protest, and I flinched as the scalding water slapped at my chest. But I didn’t think. I knew. I’d never bungee jumped before, but I had gone skydiving. And I related the freefall to anything but a bird in flight. “Birds are peaceful up there in the air. I think you’ve confused flying with falling.”
Beck raised a brow. “Then why did you want to do it!?” she asked. It was a valid question. One I couldn’t answer truthfully.
“I think it’s good to do the things that scare you. It’s what life’s about, you know?”
Beck smiled softly and looked down into the water.
“Speaking of, I thought you were afraid of the water?” I could see Beck blush even through the dim light and thick steam.
“Not when I can touch the bottom.” Beck rolled her eyes. “It’s so embarrassing. It’s just this really weird irrational fear. I don’t know what else to say about it.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Maybe you drowned in another lifetime or something?” I tested the waters and watched her intently for any show of recognition. And for a split second, I thought she seriously considered it. But then the air shifted, and I let the breath out that I hadn’t known I was holding.
Beck laughed dismissively. “Oh, come on!” She rolled her eyes as if it were the stupidest thing she’d heard and picked up her cocktail and sucked down a substantial amount.
I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. I waited, letting the thought simmer a while longer. Her eyebrows furrowed as she played with her straw. “How did we get here?” Beck asked as she swiped her hand across the rumbling bubbles of the water’s surface, her eyes unfocused.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, we’re already twenty-one, and I don’t know about you, but I have nothing figured out. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know who I am. I thought I would have a plan by now, you know? But I don’t. Not even close. Do you ever just take a moment and reflect on your life, and wonder how the hell you got here? Do you ever wonder where you’re going? Or what even matters in the first place?” Beck threw her head back and stared up at the stars. I watched as the steam rose and collected under her chin. Her exposed throat begged to be kissed.
“You have no idea,” I said, taking her drink from her and placing it on the hot tub’s edge.
Beck looked at me, her eyes filled with sympathy, a shared under
standing. “Sometimes I feel like my entire life has been a lie. I wonder if there's more out there. There has to be more to it than this.”
She searched my eyes, desperately seeking understanding. “I worry more than I would like to admit that I’m living the wrong life,” she said.
“The wrong life?”
“I mean, what if I took the wrong path? What if I get lost? It would be the wrong life. The one that wasn’t meant for me.”
“I know this may not seem like much coming from me, but I think you’re living an extraordinary life,” I said. I inched a little closer, fighting my instincts to comfort her.
“You do? What makes you think that?”
“Your heart runs so deep that I think you can make the impossible happen, and whoever you choose to open your heart to will be the luckiest soul to ever walk this earth.” It poured out of me. No regrets.
Beck lifted one dripping hand and ran it through her hair. Her mouth partially separated as she bit into her bottom lip. And if I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I saw a flash of hunger in her eyes.
“I wonder if our paths crossing a second time is a coincidence or something more. I feel something when I’m around you. Something I can’t explain.” Beck lowered deep into the water, her chin partially submerged and her eyes burrowing into me.
“Try?” I said.
“I couldn't even begin to explain it. And I’d be afraid of coming off like a complete lunatic. It’s . . . I mean, it’s . . .” Beck closed down and turned away from me. She moved to the opposite side of the Jacuzzi, one arm resting on the cold pavement as she looked into the distance.
“How about I tell you how I feel instead? I’ll be the lunatic for both of us.” I closed the distance between us and looked out into the darkness as she did.
Beck laughed nervously. “OK then . . . Give it your best shot.”
“I feel like the stars have aligned ever so perfectly for our lives to intertwine . . . again.” Beck brought her wet hands to her eyes, pressing her palms deep into her sockets. When her back rose with her heavy breath, I feared I had said too much. Too soon.
“Easton Green, who are you?” She cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows in question. It was more of an accusatory look than a warm invitation. My chest constricted and I swallowed down a bullet of worry. She knew I was more than a neighbor. That much was obvious, but the truth was still cloaked, and I feared it may scare her once she figured it out.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head up to the night sky. I didn't know what to say. Who was I? She was asking me, point-blank, and I couldn’t answer. It was an impossible situation. In love with a girl who simply didn’t remember me, and if she did, her entire world would crumble to her feet. It was in that moment that I wondered if I was better off not knowing her at all. If this would be slow torture, a new cage . . . another tether.
What she did next was the last thing I’d expected. Her body pressed against mine, and she wrapped her hand around the nape of my neck, pulling me down to her. I lowered my head as she lifted onto her toes, planting a wet chlorine kiss softly on my lips. I opened my eyes to see a flicker of desire reflect in her expression, and she was no longer Becca but my Everly Beck. She’d come home. I hated myself for ever thinking the pain wouldn’t be worth it because in that moment, I knew I could chase her for all of eternity.
And then, without notice, as if awakened abruptly from a dream, her affection drained from her face and regret washed over her. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I don't know why I did that!”
“No, no, no. Don’t be sorry!” I reached my hand out to grab her, but she was already stepping out of the hot tub. “Don’t go, Beck!” I pleaded.
“I’m so sorry. I need to find Nolan!” Beck grabbed her towel and took off in a half walk, half jog, wrapping her towel tightly around her chest. In an instant, I was left with nothing more than her forgotten flip-flops and wet footprints on the pavement floor.
Three employees holding a small cake with a lit candle passed Beck on her way out. I closed my eyes, wishing them away, but when I opened them, they stood at the hot tub’s edge. Two girls and one boy sang one of the worst renditions of “Happy Birthday” I’d ever heard. And that was saying a lot. Maybe it was the collective lack of talent, or maybe it was the pain of my broken heart boiling with the fear of losing my soulmate. But either way, it was one of the most difficult fifteen seconds I’d ever faked. When the coyote call was finally over, they held the cake out for me to make my wish. The candle danced wildly as if even it were protesting. I was so humiliated, I blew the candle out almost instantly, never making a wish at all. Which was a shame, because I could really use one.
“Where should we—” The three of them looked around for a place to put the birthday cake.
“You can just put it with my towel over there. Thank you,” I said.
I didn’t wait for them to leave. I took a deep breath and submerged myself to the bottom of the hot tub. The heat burned my cheeks, offering me temporary relief from the actual pain I felt inside. I knew now that the spark between Beck and I was not a fluke. The tether between her and I was still as strong as ever. Present, though her memory was not. And if I could hold on, just a little while longer, maybe she would come around.
I racked my brain, thinking of the possible ways I could help bring her memory back. I wondered how I could get her on the New River Bridge. How I could take her to the open field overlooking the Truly River and sit her in the roots of the dead oak tree. It wouldn’t be a simple task, but it was a goal I could work towards. It was a goal I could focus on. Maybe then she’d come back to me.
An elderly couple approached the hot tub. The woman was holding onto her husband’s arm for support as she took her first steps into the water. They smiled politely at me.
“Do you need a hand?” I asked.
“Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart.” The lady reached out and placed her small, frail hand in mine. I helped guide her down the steps as she yipped and yipped over how hot the water was.
“Well, what did you expect? It’s called a hot tub for a reason, Marge!” The old man bickered.
I couldn’t help but laugh, and through all the pain and suffering my heart had been through tonight, I couldn’t help but find the humor in this geriatric couple. It was the blind leading the blind. They most likely had fallen into a rut where they only spoke to each other through jabs of criticism or sarcasm. And if I had to guess, they wouldn’t have it any other way. I never wanted to grow old, but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to grow old with Beck.
“You think you’re so tough, why don’t you come in here!”
“I’m coming! I’m coming! Someone’s got to put your robe on the table! The Lord knows you won’t do it.” The man shuffled in his trunks to the water’s surface.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing!” The man grumbled as he stepped into the water. “Damn that’s hot!”
“I told you!” The woman looked at me and shook her head exhaustedly.
“Yeah, it’s a little hot, but it will feel good once you get used to it,” I said.
The man froze, staring at me and patting his bare boobs. “Where are my glasses?” He looked between me and his wife.
It was the reason I never wanted to grow old before. I had no reason to wither away in body and soul if I had no one to do it with.
“They’re on your head, you dummy!” She looked in my direction, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I was included in the conversation. “I swear, he’d lose his own butt if it weren’t attached!”
I chuckled, and the old man groaned as he took another step into the water. He waved his hand dismissively as if he’d heard it all before. I wondered what growing old with Beck would be like. And though I was worried I’d never have the chance to find out, I let myself hope. If I had made that wish, I would have wished for one long life with Beck.
“You two have a nice night,” I said as I stepped out o
f the hot tub and grabbed my towel. Alone and deep in thought, I strolled back to my hotel room. But when I came to my room, I was shocked to see Payton slip out of Nolan’s suite and stumble away, adjusting her clothing. She barreled down the hall, walking anything but straight. If she noticed me at all, she didn’t say anything. I looked over my shoulder and watched her round the corner, twisting her ankle in her heels and nearly falling to the floor.
“God damn it!” she cursed, sharp enough for me to clearly hear it down the hallway. Her cutting tone was not from the pain of a twisted ankle but, rather, regret.
Chapter 12
I pushed my door open and stepped inside my room, wondering where Beck had been, and if she had any knowledge of Payton’s presence next door. I paced the depths of my hotel room in my towel until I couldn’t take it any longer. After dressing in dry clothes, I headed to Brooklyn’s room, hoping to find Beck. But when Brooklyn answered the door, I didn’t see Beck wounded like I thought I might. Instead, I was surprised to see Payton there. If I had to guess, she was probably using Brooklyn as her alibi.
“Easton, come in. Have a drink.”
“I’m just looking for Beck, have you seen her?”
“No. Payton, have you seen Beck?”
“Nope!” Payton said from inside.
“Come in!” Brooklyn echoed.
“Thanks, maybe later. See ya,” I said, already making my getaway. Beck was nowhere in sight. And both girls appeared confused about where she might be. Only one of them was being honest, though.
I texted Beck, asking to talk, but she didn’t reply. Tapping my phone across the palm of my hand, I stood beside the elevators, waiting for the reply that would never come. I took one last sweeping look for Beck down in the casino and bar before returning to my room for the night.
When the elevator door opened, a couple making out in the corner startled and separated. The man was wearing more of her lipstick than his partner. I joined them as they snickered behind my back. The elevator air was thick with anticipation—theirs and mine—but if we had to agree on one thing, it was that the elevator doors couldn’t open soon enough. I closed my eyes and counted in my head until the electric buzz of people and machines crowded my senses.
The Second Life of Everly Beck: The Tethered Soul Series Book 2 Page 8
