It wasn’t possible that I was crushing on the one girl I couldn’t have.
The one girl who didn’t want me.
The girl who’d kissed Robert the dork right in front of my eyes.
And yet, even as I told myself that, I couldn’t drag my gaze away from hers and I felt my traitorous lips curving up in an answering grin that was meant just for her.
Well, crap.
It looked like I’d gone and fallen for my tutor.
Huh.
The insanely boring presentation finally came to an end and I had to figure out how I was going to handle this as I headed out to the hallway to wait for Charlotte, eyeing the other presenters who were ready to be called.
Every one of them looked like they were about to puke.
Poor suckers.
Then the doors opened and Charlotte came out, laughing in that cute, quiet way she had, like she didn’t want anyone to know she was laughing.
She was laughing at something Robert said. Smiling at him.
I felt a jab in my gut like I’d just been punched.
I glanced around at the poor nauseated nerds. Maybe I’d gotten it wrong. They weren’t the pitiful suckers.
That was me.
Her face lit up with a smile when she spotted me. She said something to Robert and then headed my way. “You came.”
“Of course I came.” I smiled down at her. She was so unexpectedly pretty when she smiled like that. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
Her head tilted to the side slightly as she studied me. “Are you teasing?”
“Nope.”
She tilted her head to the other side. “Were you bored?”
“Unbelievably.”
She let out a huff of laughter that made my chest swell. Then she leaned forward slightly and lowered her voice. “I think we nailed it.”
My grin grew at the pride in her tone. “I’m positive you did.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion and I added, “I mean, I have no idea what you guys were talking about but I have no doubt that you are smarter than anyone else in that room.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “Thanks for coming.”
“My pleasure.”
She hitched her bag on her shoulder and looked around. “I guess I should go back in, watch the next group.”
“Do you have to?”
She met my gaze and I saw surprise there. “No. I guess not.”
“Then let me show you around.”
I was already heading toward the lobby, hoping beyond hope that she didn’t stop me to tell me that she already had plans with Robert, which she probably did.
“Wait!”
I paused with a wince. There it was.
Her steps hurried to catch up with me and she stopped at my side. “Don’t you have...plans or something?”
I shook my head. “Nah. We’re done with practice for the day and I have off tomorrow—”
“So you can sleep in,” she said.
“Exactly. Which means for the rest of the day I’m all yours.”
Her smile took my breath away. But it faded fast. “But...”
But I told Robert I’d spend the day with him. But I have other plans...
I waited for her to say something like that but she just bit her lip. “But I’m not much fun to hang out with.”
I stared at her in surprise for a beat before I fully registered what she’d said. Then I sighed dramatically. “Now you tell me.”
She blinked in confusion.
I shook my head, feigning over-the-top exasperation. “And here I’d thought I’d been having fun hanging out with you at that lame party last night.”
She blinked again and her lips twitched upward as understanding dawned.
I was already walking away again, making her follow along beside me. “And I could have sworn that I even had fun studying with you this morning. Which is just crazy talk because I never have fun while studying so...” I glanced over at her as I pushed the door to the outside open and held it for her. “I’m really glad you cleared that up for me.”
Her laugh was this ridiculously sweet soft giggle. So quiet I almost missed it. “Happy to help.”
“So, what do you say? If I can bear your un-fun presence for the rest of the afternoon, do you think you’d be down with spending time with me?”
She pressed her lips together like she was trying not to laugh.
I pressed mine together as I held my breath.
“Yeah, I think I can do that,” she said.
“And here we have the clubhouse—the oldest building on campus and, little known fact, it also serves the best ice cream.”
“Really,” Charlotte said, looking suitably impressed. “Are you willing to put that assertion to the test?”
I gestured for her to lead the way. We’d spent the past hour walking around campus and through a few of the restaurant and stored-lined streets that border the college before coming back to campus to finish the tour with what I had no doubt she’d agree was the best ice cream in the world.
“No way,” I said as she went to pay. I placed a hand over hers. “This is on me.”
She dipped her head as she went to slip her wallet back in her bag, but I caught the pink in her cheeks.
My heart was doing this thing. It had been doing it for the entire hour we’d walked and talked and laughed. It jumped. Or maybe it twisted. It was possible leaping was involved?
Honestly, I didn’t know what my heart was doing in there, but it was clearly out of control.
But I was pretty sure she felt it too, whatever this thing was between us. The talking was almost too easy, considering how I’d seen her clam up around other people. The laughter had been infectious, like we both needed that release because, despite the easy talk about college plans and football and science scholarships, there was a tension.
Not a bad tension.
More like a heady tension. An anticipation. I felt it now as we took our ice cream and headed back out to the crisp fall air to find a seat on one of the benches that lined the trail. I felt it as we sat beside each other, our thighs brushing briefly.
I felt it in the silence that followed.
Maybe we were both waiting for the moment when I could kiss her again.
“I kissed Robert.”
Or not.
I turned to stare at her. Okay, maybe she didn’t feel it.
Crap.
I turned back to my ice cream and dug in as if I actually had an appetite now that Robert’s name had been mentioned.
“Actually, I asked him to kiss me,” she continued.
“Uh huh.” It came out as a grunt as I swallowed the formerly delicious ice cream that now tasted like chalk.
She paused. She wasn’t eating. It seemed like she was waiting for me to comment.
I sighed as I set my cup of ice cream down on my lap. “So I guess it worked then.”
“What did?”
“My plan to make him jealous, to get his attention...” I trailed off.
Her brows drew together. “How do you figure?”
I sighed again. What was I even doing right now? Willingly signing up for girl talk? Listening to the girl I like talk about the boy she liked?
Clearly I was a masochist.
I tried for nonchalance. “So you guys kissed...”
She nodded. “We did.”
“And?” It was with an effort that I kept the irritation out of my voice.
“And...I wished I’d kissed him years ago.”
I flinched.
“I didn’t realize that a kiss could tell you so much.”
I drew in a deep breath, ignoring the stab of jealousy that made my gut churn. “That good, huh?” I muttered.
“No.” She sounded surprised as she turned to me. “That bad.”
I stared at her. “What?”
“It was nothing like what I felt when I...when you...when we...”
A surge of something buoyant and ridicul
ously giddy had me grinning. “When we kissed?”
She nodded and my heart went into overdrive. It was racing faster than it ever did out on the field. This girl was the best cardio workout I’d ever had. “So, you, uh...” I couldn’t have stopped my smirk if I’d tried.
I didn’t try.
“You enjoyed that kiss, huh?”
Her cheeks went beet red and I set down my cup on the seat beside me so my hands were free.
“I did, but—”
I froze with her ‘but.’ I pulled back as she sat there in silence. “But what?”
She didn’t immediately answer. I knew by now that Charlotte responded well to direct questions. I shifted to face her head-on. “If you liked kissing me so much, why’d you kiss Robert?”
“Because I had to be sure.”
“About your feelings for him?”
“Partially that, yes.” She said it so slowly, I knew there was more.
This time I waited her out, let her get her thoughts in order. After a few seconds she turned to face me, too, so we were both seated sideways with nothing between us but her words.
“But also, I wasn’t sure if what I felt when you kissed me was normal or not. I had nothing to compare it to, you see, so I wasn’t certain if that was to be expected or—”
“Wait.” I held a hand up as my mind raced to catch up with her words and my body and my heart. “That was your first kiss?”
She opened her mouth as if to say something, thought better of it, and shut it again. Then she nodded.
Guilt spiraled through me. Regret. Crap, I really liked this girl and she deserved...well, she deserved a heck of a lot better than that. “No.”
It was possible that my voice was a little too gruff when I said it because Charlotte jerked back when I’d struck her. “No?”
I could practically see the doubts and insecurities in her eyes so I hurried to explain. “I meant no, that was not your first kiss.”
She blinked at me, her eyes wide behind her glasses and filled with confusion. “It wasn’t?”
“Nope.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t count. Neither does that lame little peck you shared with Robert the dorky player.”
Her brows drew down in a frown. “Okay,” she drawled. “So then I’ve still never been kissed according to your logic.”
My lips curved up in a slow smile. “Nope. Not yet. Because Charlotte...” I paused as I leaned in toward her with painfully slow movements so she knew she could back away.
Triumph shot through me when she didn’t. As I watched, her pupils dilated and her lips parted. I had to bite back a groan at her response.
“Yes?” she breathed.
“You deserve a great first kiss.”
“Oh.”
I heard her quick inhale as my hands slid into her long dark hair. I felt her soft exhale as I tugged her close...
I tasted her sigh as I slid my lips over hers, the instant heat unlike anything I’d felt before. Unlike our last kiss, which was way too quick, this one was leisurely. I took my time exploring her lips, teasing her with long gliding caresses until she started to kiss me back, hesitantly at first and then with growing confidence.
She matched my rhythm and when she reached her hands out and settled them against my chest, something inside of me shifted into place.
I adjusted my hold on her head, tilting her slightly so I had better access before sliding my hands down to wrap around her waist and then tug her close.
The kiss grew deeper and I knew that I could never get enough.
I would never get enough of this girl.
The more I explored, the more I wanted from her. I didn’t want to let her out of my arms, or out of my sight.
But we were making a scene in a very public space so with a sigh of regret, I let her go.
It took a solid minute of her blinking and struggling to even out her breath before that dazed look left her eyes.
I was sorry to see it go.
“That was...” She licked her lips and tried again. “That was some first kiss.”
A laugh slipped out and I wrapped an arm around her to hold her against my side.
“Do all...I mean, is that how...”
I started laughing all over again. “No, Charlotte. That was not your average kiss.”
11
Charlotte
Not your average kiss.
I knew I must’ve been wearing a smug smile as I tucked that phrase away to recall later on. Like tomorrow when I was back at home, or Monday morning at Lakeview High.
“So, I guess, I’ll see you in the morning,” I said as we reached the elevator banks in the dorm lobby.
“What, you’re done with me already?” he teased.
I stared up at him in surprise. “It’s Saturday night. I figured you’d want to...do something.”
“I do want to do something,” he shot back, nudging my arm with his elbow. “With you.”
“Oh.” I stared straight ahead in the elevator. I’d never felt particularly short before I’d met this guy but standing side by side I was suddenly well aware of the fact that he could squish me like a bug if he chose to.
Also...he could probably break my heart just as easily.
The thought made my stomach flip like I’d just gone down a roller coaster.
Could he? Could he really break my heart? My mind boggled at the thought. I barely knew the guy. We’d basically just met, so why did I have this deep-rooted suspicion that if given half a chance, I could all out fall for the guy?
I stared at my fuzzy reflection, so small and unassuming next to his.
Maybe I was just dazzled by the kissing. Or maybe I was just grateful that a popular, athletic, handsome college guy was being nice to me.
Even as I thought it, I knew it wasn’t just that. This wasn’t just gratitude at his kindness, and the whole kissing thing had been amazing—life-changing, actually, because now I knew what it meant to have chemistry with someone—but that wasn’t the only thing that made my whole body feel like it was alive for the first time whenever he was near.
I liked talking to him, which was a rarity in and of itself. I never enjoyed talking to people. I was never comfortable enough around anyone to speak freely.
But I did speak freely with West.
I deeply suspected that the perfection of his kiss was more of a symptom of something bigger than the ailment itself. And in a way this did feel like an illness.
The term lovesick had to have come from somewhere for some reason, right?
I made a mental note to look up that word’s origin when I got home.
“So what would you like to do tonight?” he asked. He’d pressed the button for my floor and we were rapidly approaching.
Panic sent my brain into a tizzy and it was hard to come up with any logical responses.
The elevator stopped and the door opened with a ding. He held it open for me.
“Don’t you have...I don’t know, RA duties or something?” I asked.
He looked like he was trying not to laugh. “I just need to check all the rooms at curfew—”
“So then you’re probably busy—”
“That’s not until ten o’clock.”
“Oh.”
He stared at me for a moment before finally sighing and exiting the elevator. I followed. We were on my floor, after all.
He crossed his arms. “Okay, hit me. What’s the issue?”
“I don’t have an issue,” I said. At least, not one that I could pinpoint. Just an overall, all-encompassing fear, that was all.
“Did you want to go out? I could make a reservation or—”
“No.” I said it so quickly we shared a look of surprise. “I mean...I don’t want to go out with you.”
His features fell. It was a subtle shift in him, but I saw it.
Disappointment.
Oh shoot, I’d done that. For the first time in my life I’d rejected someone. This was a novelty. Not a particularly nice one, though.
“I didn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you,” I added quickly. “I’m just...I’m nervous.”
There. I said it.
He watched me closely. “Okay. So you’re too nervous to hang or—”
“I’m nervous about being with you in public.” I bit my lip to keep from babbling. I didn’t exactly relish the idea of him knowing how self-conscious I would be if people saw us out on a...a date? Would this be a date?
I placed a hand over my stomach as if that could make the nerves settle.
He leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing, but this time I caught a hint of laughter. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”
I laughed and some of the tension eased.
I liked that he made me laugh. I liked even more that I made him laugh. I liked...him. I liked this.
I liked us.
So why was this panic setting in? Why couldn’t I sort through any of the feelings? Why did I feel like I’d been drowning in a vat of confusion since the moment I’d bumped into this guy in Max’s kitchen?
He moved closer. “Charlotte.”
“Yes?”
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“Emotions.”
He nodded slowly. “Anything I can help with?”
I winced. I wish. “I’m not very good at sorting through emotions or...even identifying them sometimes.”
Had I really just said that aloud?
Yes. Yes, I had.
And he wasn’t laughing. More than that, he wasn’t judging.
This right here? This was why I liked this guy.
And the kisses definitely didn’t hurt either.
“Things have moved pretty quickly this weekend, huh?” His voice was unbelievably gentle, especially considering the size of the guy it was coming from.
I nodded. They had moved quickly. They really, really had. “I can’t keep up.”
His lips hitched up a bit, but I knew he wasn’t laughing at me. “I can relate.”
“I’ve never been very good at it—feelings, I mean. It came so easily to everyone else that sometimes I feel like I failed a class in school that no one ever told me I was supposed to take.”
“Yeah, I definitely get that,” he said. His eyes were so soft, so warm, so...filled with affection.
First Kiss with the Quarterback (How to Catch a Crush Book 4) Page 8
