by Jay Gill
We arrived at the Haven Hotel. ‘I’ve booked two standard rooms under the name James Hardy,’ I told the receptionist.
She looked at us and then at the reservations. ‘Yes, thank you. One night. I will arrange for your bags to be taken to your room. Will you be dining with us tonight? Our fine dining restaurant overlooks the sea and has views across to Studland Bay. The evening views as the sun sets are spectacular.’
‘That sounds lovely,’ said Monica.
We took a walk to the balcony and stood looking across the water. Small boats moved effortlessly across the bay, and the chain-link ferry went back and forth with commuters and holiday makers. ‘We could have shared a room, you know, James. I know you’d behave appropriately.’
‘Now you tell me,’ I said with a smile.
‘Two rooms is very sweet of you. You’re a real gentleman.’
Monica leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was probably reading more into it than I should, but for some reason her kiss gave me hope we still had a chance. Or was all this simply her way of letting me down gently, a way of leaving me with fond memories of her?
After a wonderful meal of fresh local seafood and quality wine, we went back out onto the balcony and looked out across the waves at the setting sun.
Monica told me all about her opportunity in France and I listened as a friend. Even though it would break my heart if she left, I wanted to be there for her, so that when the time came, she would make an informed decision. Eventually, she turned and looked at me quizzically.
‘So, what’s on your mind, James? I appreciate you being so supportive. I know this is hard for both of us. In the long run, though, it’s for the best. The time feels right for us to move to the next chapter of our lives.’ Monica reached out and took my hand. I put my arm around her waist and turned her towards me.
It was now or never. ‘Please listen to what I have to say. I want you to know I’ve given this a lot of thought. I have no doubts. None. And if you still decide to leave after I’ve finished, I will respect that. It will break my heart, but I’ll respect your decision.
‘I can’t imagine my life without you. When I see my future, I see you in it. I desperately don’t want you to leave. I want to give you my all. I want to look after you. I want to make you happy and make you laugh. I want to comfort you when you’re upset and I want to love you for the rest of my life.’
I looked into her eyes to see if I could read her thoughts.
‘There’s something else I need you to know,’ I said. ‘I’m leaving Scotland Yard.’
I watched as Monica’s expression changed to one of shock.
‘I can’t go on the way I have done. I’ve put in for a transfer to Dorset. I made some calls and there’s an opportunity of a new role for me as a police consultant and trainer. It’ll mean a fresh start. For all of us. As soon as I’m able to, I’d like us to move here.’ My heart was pounding and my face was hot. I’d given it all I had and I prayed it was enough. ‘I love you. I know it’s a lot to take in, but please say you’ll think about it.’
‘No,’ said Monica. ‘I’m sorry, James.’ Her face was solemn and she looked me straight in the eye.
My heart sank. I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.
‘I don’t understand,’ I said. I was confused. In my mind I’d heard her say yes. Every time, she’d said yes.
‘No, I don’t need to think about it. I love you, James Hardy. I just needed to hear from your heart and see in your eyes that you felt the same.’
That night we made love for the first time. Then I held her gently in my arms and we talked until the early hours. We made plans and we made promises. In the morning we made love again.
I watched Monica skip naked across the room to take a shower. I listened to her singing and humming the parts where she didn’t know the words. A smile spread across my face. I had never felt happier. Everything was going to be perfect.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Mum and Dad were at the house with Alice and Faith when Monica and I arrived back from Dorset.
‘The girls wanted to be here when you got back,’ said Mum, apologetically. ‘They were so excited. Every five minutes they’ve been asking when you’ll be back.’ She kept talking but she could see the new closeness between Monica and me.
‘Nice weekend?’ said Dad.
I put my arm around Monica and kissed her. ‘Yes, very nice. Perfect, in fact.’
‘It was wonderful,’ said Monica, blushing slightly. ‘And what about you two little monsters?’ she said, turning to Alice and Faith. ‘Have you been behaving for your Nana and Granddad?’
Mum couldn’t contain herself; she caught Monica and squashed her in a bear-hug. She kissed her and said simply, ‘Oh, sweetheart. I’m so happy. You don’t know how happy this makes me.’ She put out her hand and pulled me over, ‘And you – it’s about time. Look at the two of you.’ She turned to Dad. ‘I knew it. I just knew it. This is so perfect. You two look so perfect. I told you something was up, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, honey. You did.’ Dad winked at Monica. ‘You always know. You’re a real Miss Marple.’
Alice and Faith started pretending to kiss and then began singing together, ‘Daddy and Monica, sitting in a tree, K - I – S - S - I - N - G.’
‘Are you getting married now?’ asked Faith. ‘Can I be a bridesmaid?’
‘That’s all she’s talked about the whole weekend. “Will they get married?”’ said Alice.
Mum saved the day. ‘Marriage is not something we should talk about right now. Let’s celebrate the moment. There must be a bottle of—?’
‘Does this mean we’re definitely moving to the seaside?’ blurted Faith.
Dad looked alarmed. Mum still had no idea about my stepping down as a Scotland Yard detective or that we were moving one hundred and fifty miles away. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to her. I wanted to talk to her myself at the right moment.
‘What was that, sweetheart?’ asked Mum.
Faith went scarlet and closed her lips tighter than a seaside clam. She disappeared behind my back and hid her face.
The cat was out of the bag. It only took Mum a second to look at everyone’s face and realise she was the only one in the room who didn’t know. Then she went quiet and acted like it didn’t matter. She tried to smile. ‘You know, dear,’ she said, turning to Dad, ‘we should leave this little family to it. I’m sure you all have a lot to talk about. We can catch up some other time. I’m so happy for you both, so happy.’ She gave us all another round of hugs and kisses, and then took Monica and me by the hands. ‘And you two, I want to hear all about these plans of yours, just as soon as you’re ready.’
Dad got their coats and helped Mum into the car. Monica followed them out and stood by the car chatting with Mum through the open car window. I stayed back with Dad, who took me to one side.
‘I’ll speak to your mother’ he said quietly. ‘Once she understands, she’ll be your biggest advocate for the move; we both know that. Soon as you can, pop round and put her mind at rest. It’s all coming together. Well done, son.’
Mum’s focus has always been on her family. First, it was just Dad and my brother and me, and then Faith and Alice, her granddaughters, had come along. It was also Mum who’d kept everything together when Helena died and our world fell apart. Now, finally, when our lives were seemingly back on track, it must have felt as though I was taking away the biggest part of her world.
The plan had gone smoothly up until now; it was shame it had come out the way it had, but I suppose it had been unfair to ask Alice and Faith to keep such a big secret. Regardless, all I could do now was talk it through with Mum in a way she’d understand. In retrospect, I should have spoken to her earlier. I hadn’t anticipated news of our move slipping out, and now I’d hurt her. As ever, I had been in a hurry, and everything was happening so fast I hadn’t been thinking. So maybe, after all, this was one of those situations where not everyone was going to be happ
y. Not right away, anyway.
Chapter Sixty
Everything stopped. It was one of those moments when I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the last part of the sentence. For now, there were no reports of fatalities. All anyone knew was that a man matching Cutler’s description was seen forcing his way into a house off Ealing Broadway.
I don’t remember the drive there. One moment I was at my desk hearing the news, and the next I was stood staring at the house just like every other officer called to the scene. I felt anger and fear in equal measure. On the one hand, I wanted to storm the house, and on the other, I wanted him to walk out peacefully, having harmed no one.
I ignored journalists calling my name. I could see officers looking at me expectantly. I could hear their mutterings and knew what they were thinking: What’s our next move? How’s he going to deal with this mess? Why aren’t we going in? Is he just going to let the Angel Killer massacre everyone inside? He’s lost it. The stories about Hardy must all be bullshit – look at him: he hasn’t got a clue what to do, has he? Did you hear we could have had this sick bastard? But Hardy messed up. His fat ego will probably get the mother and kids killed.
I walked to the nearest squad car, which was parked a short distance from the house. The road had been sealed off and the neighbouring houses evacuated. I took off my tie and jacket and placed them on the roof of the squad car, then rolled up my shirtsleeves. Behind me I heard a snigger.
Sergeant Murtagh came over to see what the plan was.
‘Number 148?’ I said.
‘Yes, sir. Down there on the right. There’s a silver Toyota Yaris parked right outside. The house has one-four-eight in large white numbers just outside the door.’
Before he could say any more, I ducked under the police cordon and began walking to the house. At first, I heard gasps and murmurs, but as I got closer to the house, I heard nothing. Only the thoughts in my head that I needed this situation to end quickly and peacefully.
There were children inside the house, children believed to be Cutler’s. His wife, who had tried to keep him out, was also inside. I had no idea what would happen next and all I could think right now was that I had to speak to him. Going in alone was far from police procedure, but my logic was that if he was talking to me, he wasn’t slaughtering his family.
Chapter Sixty-One
I banged on the door. ‘Mr Michael Cutler, I’m Detective Chief Inspector James Hardy. I’d like to speak with you, please.’ I pressed the doorbell and banged on the door again. ‘Michael, we need to talk. My name’s Inspector Hardy, James Hardy. We have to talk.’
I could see movement through a bay window. Then a voice.
‘What do you want?’ It was Cutler. I recognised his voice.
‘We met at one of your Cassley Shoe stores. I need to come in and talk. I’d like to understand what’s going on.’ I needed to get into the house and check on Cutler’s family. Their safety was my first priority.
‘Why would I do that? If I open the door, you’ll storm the house with your team. I don’t think so. Talk to me from there.’
‘I’m alone. You have my word. Let’s talk. At least give me the opportunity to hear your side of what’s happened here. I’m unarmed.’ I lifted my arms and turned around on the spot. ‘See?’
It went quiet for a moment and I got nervous. I started to wonder whether I understood the Angel Killer as well as I hoped I did.
‘Michael? It’s important I see your family. It’s important I see for myself they are safe. Do the right thing. Let me in and let me see them.’
I stepped back, away from the door, and saw the curtain move. I guessed Cutler was checking for himself that I was alone. I hoped that was a good sign. A few seconds later, the door opened and I was face to face again with Michael Cutler. Only this time I saw him as the Angel Killer.
‘Move,’ he told me. I stepped over the threshold. ‘Wait. Now go through there.’ Cutler waved a large kitchen knife and pointed it in the direction of a dining room. He locked the door behind us and followed me. ‘Sit.’
At a large dining table sat Cutler’s wife. Beside her and holding onto her arm was their older son, who looked to be about four years old. I did as I was told and took a seat, deliberately choosing one between Cutler and his family.
I looked at the boy. ‘Hello. My name is James and I’m a policeman. I’m a friend of your daddy. Do you mind me asking what your name is?’
He squeezed his mother’s arm tighter and said nothing.
‘I’m Melanie,’ said the woman. ‘This is Danny. And his baby brother Zachary is upstairs sleeping. Second door on the right. My mother is locked in the upstairs bathroom; first door, top of the stairs.’
‘Very good,’ said Cutler. ‘Want to give him a grand tour of the house while you’re at it? Maybe draw him a picture?’
‘Why don’t you just hand yourself in, you pathetic little man? Why can’t you see it’s all over? Can’t you get it through your thick skull? They know. They know you killed Patrick and that poor woman he was with.’
She leapt to her feet and started screaming at him. ‘They know – can’t you see that?’ Danny began to howl with fear. ‘What are you, Michael, stupid? You’d have to be stupid if you thought killing him would impress me. Or that I’d fall into your arms again because Patrick was gone. He was a man. A real fucking man. He made me laugh, he made me feel sexy, hot. You? You, you pathetic piece of shit, need to curl up and die. I hope they lock you away for the rest of your fucking life. I never want to see your face again, ever. I never want you to come close to my children again. You hear me? Ever.’
I could see hurt on Cutler’s face. Whatever he’d done and whatever kind of man he was, I could see he had feelings of some kind for his wife and children.
He slumped down in a chair and stared at the floor. ‘I guess there’s nothing to talk about.’
He was still holding the knife, and I was concerned about what might happen if he felt cornered, with no hope and nothing left to lose.
Chapter Sixty-Two
‘Why don’t you let Melanie and the children go?’ I said to him, keeping my voice calm. ‘Her mother too? Then you and I can talk.’
Cutler looked at his wife and then at his son. ‘Danny stays here. The rest can go.’
‘No chance,’ said Melanie. ‘I’m not leaving you with my son.’
‘He’s my son too. You can either leave with your mother and baby Zachary or you can all stay. The choice is yours.’
‘It would be best if they all left,’ I said.
‘No. Danny stays with me. It’s up to you,’ repeated Cutler.
I wanted them all out, but this was a start. ‘I’ll look after Danny,’ I said to Melanie. ‘He’ll be fine, I promise.’ I looked at Cutler and he nodded.
‘You’ll be okay with Daddy, won’t you?’ he said to Danny. ‘Mummy and Daddy are arguing, that’s all. You stay with me for a bit; watch your cartoons on Netflix. Just while I talk to this policeman.’
I could see the anguish on Melanie’s face. I reached out and touched her hand. ‘Go and get your baby and your mother. Danny and I will be right behind you. I give you my word.’
This must have been the toughest decision she’d ever made. Fortunately, she had no idea of the extent of Cutler’s crimes, no idea he was the Angel Killer. If she had, I don’t think she ever would have left her son.
Cutler pushed the bathroom door key across the table and I watched as Melanie kissed and hugged Danny and then disappeared upstairs to grab her baby. Then, muffled voices, feet on the stairs and in the lounge, and finally the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut.
The house fell silent. Cutler put out his hand to Danny but the boy stepped close to me.
‘I love you, son,’ said Cutler. ‘Would you like me to put the telly on for you?’
Danny shrugged.
‘You stay there for a minute and I’ll put the telly on. I’ll speak to the policeman and then when we’re finished you can
go join Mummy. Okay?’
Danny nodded and looked at me.
I winked at the boy and smiled. ‘We just want to have a grown-up talk. It’ll be boring. You go in the other room and watch something fun.’
Cutler got up and, still holding the kitchen knife, stepped into the other room to put on the TV. Danny stayed close to me. I could hardly begin to imagine what he was thinking. It was heartbreaking to see him look so alone and scared. I wanted to put as much distance between Cutler and his family, and right now this was the best of a bad situation.
Suddenly I heard hysterical screaming – a woman’s voice. I jumped to my feet while Danny slid into the corner of the room and crouched down with his hands over his ears. I ran through to the lounge, my heart in my throat.
Melanie must have stayed behind and lain in wait for him. Cutler was stood in the middle of the room, the black handle of a cook’s knife sticking out of his stomach. Blood was starting to spread across his shirt.
As I entered the room he turned and looked at me before looking back at Melanie. Without thinking I ran between the two of them.
Cutler seemed unaffected by the knife in his stomach. It should have stopped him in his tracks. Melanie was staring at it as though she wanted to grab it and stab him again. Now, she lunged at me, trying to pass me and get at Cutler. A movement across the room caught my eye and we both turned. Danny stood in the doorway, his eyes enormous. I felt Melanie stiffen in fear. With one hand I pushed her back and shouted at Danny to stay where he was.
Then, somehow ignoring the knife in his stomach, Cutler’s adjusted his grip on his own knife. His knuckles turned white as he clutched the handle. Sensing what was about to happen, I pushed Melanie backward.
