by D. H. Quinn
My smile drops and my heart pounds. I am connected to him. He leans forward and I mirror him, still feeling my firm grip on his hand. His lips touch mine softly and then hungrily and I feel fireworks. The sky explodes with them and I laugh through the kiss and so does he.
We get closer together still deepening the kiss. Both of us feel the heat and passion in that moment. “He’s mine” is what rages through my mind. He’s mine! My hand finds itself in his hair, gripping gently. The fireworks light up the sky and light up our expressions. His is completely forlorn. I back away. “You said yourself that we can’t do this,” I say in between breaths.
“No we can’t.” We scoot away from each other but I still grip his hand.
“It is really beautiful up here.” The fireworks are still going seemingly with each beat of my heart. He nods. We make awkward small talk and I blabber on about my life and my family and mainly my brother. Aleksander listens as attentively as he can but I can tell his mind is wandering with concern.
“We should go,” he says with finality. I release his hand reluctantly and we stand at the edge of the wall, looking down at the city.
“We don’t have to...” I trail off.
“I am sorry but we do, just close your eyes and trust me.”
“I guess it is all I got,” I respond, holding my eyes tightly closed. He grabs hold of my hand and leads me forward and we jump. This time the sensation is only a small bounce like we are lightly bouncing on a trampoline. I wait as the ground changes beneath me. I should open my eyes and see whatever is happening but my fear makes it as though my eyelids are fused shut.
“We’re good,” Aleksander squeezes my hand in reassurance before releasing me. We are back in the midst of the city. I once again cannot see the walls. I also don’t see the tilted building we had come from. “I think we have time for a fun place,” Aleksander says. The last firework pops overhead as if in agreement.
“That wasn’t too bad,” I say with a mischievous smile, one that he returns.
Aleksander and I happen to cross the bridge I had created. I manage a glance down below into the pitch blackness. It's as though the shadows move and I shiver, as though a piece of me belongs to those Mahrts forever. The next place is close, only a few streets we have to cross, which we do safely.
We arrive at a rather large and rectangular building. The design is odd, many stories high but painted bright red with no windows and only a small silver door with two steps leading up to it. The roof is flat and black.
“Am I here for redesign?” I ask.
“No, this place is perfect.” We walk to the front steps.
Aleksander knocks and the doorknob twitches and the door opens just a crack.
“Aleks!!” voices from inside the building call intermingling with the blaring loud music with a deep bass. The door swings open widely and a stocky man with a gray beard stands before us.
“Hey buddy,” The man says as he grips Aleksander’s hand and shakes it. The man looks back at me, his eyes narrowing. “You brought someone?” He says cautiously, his voice dipping into a deep tone.
“Yeah, it’s Kamari.”
“Kamari!” The man says with excitement once again. “The human!” he says as if the term is mysterious. “What’s that like?” He questions, eyes wide.
“In the real world, not that interesting, here, it’s fascinating and terrifying.” I look behind him. A girl in a bubble floats by. Her hot pink high heeled shoes press against the bubble in a precautious manner that makes me believe the bubble will pop at any second and she will fall to the floor in her poofy hot pink outfit. Instead she manages to move her bubble forward as she rotates slowly and stands tall.
“Oh, right! Come on in.” The man steps to the side to make room for us to enter.
The room is overwhelmingly stimulating. Besides the large bubbles that float around, many other strange creations are around. I see the blur of a man riding a bike on the ceiling. A woman to the left of the building jumps around on pogo looking sticks but on closer inspection I see she is wearing shoes that have giant springs.
A group of brightly dressed girls giggle together in a group. They are similarly dressed to the woman in the bubble. “Aleks!!” they squeal in unison. He gives them a wave and they all giggle.
“I thought Jack said dream walkers weren’t too fond of creativity?” I ask loudly while leaning next to his ear.
“Nope!” Aleksander yells back, a goofy childlike grin on his face. “Come on!” He grips my arm securely and leads me through the crowd. His anticipation buzzes off of him, another side of Aleksander I had not expected. The dream walkers dress completely different here than those on the streets. If parade chic mixed with a bit of circus is a style then these people had it down. I glance at a stunning woman who wears a deep purple dress with puffy sleeves. She resembles Halle Berry intensely.
The people not only dress differently but act differently than any dream walkers I have seen. They don’t gawk at me as many others have, knowing that I am human but I figure they have enough to gawk at. Also, they just feel carefree, they are what I imagine dream people would be like before I actually met them, just living their best lives.
We arrive at what appears to be a bar. There is a large pink table with a mixture of cups on it. A man stands behind the table, looking particularly bored. He becomes animated though once he notices Aleksander. “Hey Ed! How are you?” Aleksander leans towards the man.
“Good and you?” Ed leans over the table and shouts.
“Great! Got any new creations?” Aleksander asks as he looks over the assortment of drinks. I do the same in awe. One distinctly catches my eye, it is the color of a Mahrt’s blood. Movement draws my attention to another and I swear I see something that swims to the bottom of the cup. The color of the drink distorts its rickety leg.
Ed finally acknowledges my presence. “Well, what does your friend here like?”
“Your best for her, she’s new.”
“She’s the human, isn’t she?” His face morphs to concern. His arms cross against his chest.
“She is, but Jack granted her permission to be here.”
“Doubtful,” Ed leans towards me. He examines my hair, my eyes and then my mouth quickly. “You could wake up a bit sick,” he raises his eyebrow at me questioningly.
“I’ll try it.” He hands me a cup full of red sloshing liquid and I am grateful it isn’t one of the other cups I noticed.
“Try this,” he tells Aleksander as he hands him a clear cup with a blue foaming substance. “It's the newest.”
Aleksander leads us to a lounge like area. We sit upon a smooth pink couch. Aleksander places his arm around me and pulls me close. He talks in my ear. “Try your drink,” he says and then takes a big gulp of his. The foaming of his drink intensifies.
I swish my drink around in my cup and examine the liquid, I then take a sip. The taste makes me forget all my worries immediately, a mix of bubblegum, strawberry and cherry with each flavor hitting me at different times. Sudden happiness rolls over me and I giggle uncontrollably. Aleksander leans back, his eyes wide. He tenses and then relaxes and repeats the cycle.
“I did not just do drugs for the first time here,” I giggle as I pat his leg.
“You didn’t do drugs. It's just a drink that affects your emotions.” I laugh for no reason in particular and Aleksander stays leaning back. After a few minutes the giggling stops and I just feel light and happy. Aleksander is slouched slightly in the seat, his face relaxed.
“I thought dream walkers couldn’t create?” I indicate my drink and then sip it. This is impressive for Ed. Luckily, the giggling fit does not return. I already feel embarrassed by the first one.
“I have always told Jack that we should try. The people you see in here are geniuses but they don’t show their abilities. Ed finds things and figures out what effect they have and then mixes them together. So many human emotions seep into this world that creating a drink that causes them was ea
sy for him.”
A rush of happiness overwhelms me after the swig of my drink. “It is amazing. This alone in the real world could cure depression!” My hand reaches out and rests on his thigh. It isn’t a smart move to touch him but I cannot stop myself.
“The feeling doesn’t last forever.” Aleksander’s eyes glaze over and he zones out of this place and to somewhere else.
My lighthearted bubble bursts for a moment. “I know I am naive in saying that,” I pause, glancing down at the shiny ground, “depression isn’t cured by one moment of fake happiness.” I should know, I add silently.
“It’s the drink speaking,” he says, brushing off my words. I take another sip.
He grips the top of my hand and squeezes it. A woman walks by and stares at us a little too long. What are we doing? Hadn’t Aleksander just told me that Jack has feelings for him? I pull my hand away gently.
“What do you do here?” I ask him as I lean back against the couch.
Aleksander leans forward and places his half full drink on the table in front of us. “I like the drinks but I have something better.” He stands up and extends his hand and I take it and pull myself up. I place my drink down next to his.
We head to the back of the building and I once again find myself gawking at all the different characters. A round bald man dances like no one is watching, his hands pumping in the air. A petite woman dressed in silver feathers from head to toe, her hair is up in a messy bun with feathers all around it laughs fully. A few more people greet Aleksander happily as we walk by and he greets them back.
We reach a door and a bulky man nods giving us permission and we enter. I cannot see anything in here, the room is pitch black and I am reminded of the escalator Arden, Garrett and I had traveled through to get to the underground circus. Aleksander pulls me forward and then the door closes. The room is silent and with how loud the music is outside, I am surprised we cannot hear it through the door.
“Sit down,” he instructs me. “It can be disorienting the first time,” he adds with more gentleness in his tone. He sits across from me, our knees touch comfortably. “Alright.” He talks more to himself than to me. Stars appear and the black space transforms into a night’s sky but instead of just being above us, it surrounds us completely.
A streak of light flies beneath us and I cannot contain the gasp that comes out of me. Aleksander laughs and my eyes land on him. His eyes are filled with wonder as he gazes around. “Dream walkers can come here and create whatever they want with their dreamlusion abilities, it gives them a blank slate.”
“Even if it is a dreamlusion, this is still amazing.”
“No, mine is real,” he grins. I laugh. Aleksander kneels and then stands slowly. “Hold on.” The Aurora Borealis suddenly surrounds us. I had seen a million pictures of it and dreamed of making the trip but up close like this is more breathtaking than I could imagine. A mix of green, blue and purple lights intermingle and dance around us. Aleksander helps me to my feet. We hold hands.
“This is really special,” I tell him but words cannot express how I feel about it. By the look on his face, it is just as important to him.
We stay silent, just admiring the view for a few moments. “Why are you doing this?” I ask. “I mean I don’t need an answer but thank you.”
“I’m not going to lie Kamari when you told me you met someone I think,” he stops, a sad smile on his face.
“I think I have to go,” I tell him reluctantly. He nods and the lights disappear before me. The last thing I do in this dream is release his hands.
Chapter Seven
I awake to the sunlight pouring into my room. Relief floods through me that it is Sunday and I have no plans for the day. I get up to let my dog outside and sit on the couch. I enjoy the silence that fills the room after all of the stimulation in my dream.
This is ridiculous, I tell myself. I am falling for a man in my dreams but also falling for a man in real life. It wouldn’t be fair to them but how would they ever know? I immediately feel disgusted with myself at the thought. I would know and I would not be able to live with myself if I did something so horrible.
Once I am awake though, I can convince myself that it is only in a dream world but the reverse happens there as well. And when I am with each guy, I feel happy but different. I never thought this would be a problem for me but isn’t there already an obvious choice? Hadn’t Aleksander and I agreed that we could be nothing in the long run?
My indecisiveness irritates me. I have always been the type to decide easily. I do not stress about the small things. This is clearly different. Yes, me and Liam had a connection but Aleksander, he made my heart flutter as cheesy as it sounds. As if on cue, Liam texts me a good morning with a smiley face. I respond and we have a conversation over text for a few hours until he informs me he has to get to work on his reports.
My mother calls me shortly after, just to check in and we have a conversation on neutral topics including her job, Robert, and whatever my dad has been up to. This week my dad is building a structure for the garage. Our phone call is pleasant and lasts around fifteen minutes. She doesn’t mention any fights with Rob and I figure she has no idea that he is irritated with them. She never used to be able to tell when I was irritated with her. I don’t bring it up as she seems to be in high spirits.
After our call, I run errands. I go to the grocery store and pick up some new clothes for work. I walk my dog and then clean up my house. It all feels monotonous and all I think about is returning to my dreamworld. I sit in the backyard and throw some toys for my dog. I can’t help but smile as he squeaks the toy wildly. He’s the good part of this world, I think to myself. After we have both eaten dinner, we cuddle on the couch together and I drift off. I head to bed after completing my nightly routine and fall asleep rather quickly.
I wake up in the club we visited the previous night, the music still bumping. It is emptier than before but that does not seem to have stopped the party. A man with a mustache nearly spills his drink at my appearance. “You weren’t here a minute ago,” he tells me as he clutches at his chest and then walks off, clearly not requiring an answer as to where I have come from.
I head to the exit, not seeing as much glamour in this place when I am not with Aleksander. I dial up Arden once outside and he indicates that he is on his way. When he arrives, he does not look happy. “Why are you here?” He asks as he pulls me away from the building and glances back at it as if he is disgusted.
“Aleksander brought me here.”
“This is hardly a historical part of our city.”
“It will be. With all the creativity and the,” I begin but Arden interrupts.
“And the loons, all the loons. Why would Aleksander want to go there?” He scratches his cheek and narrows his eyes,. I just shrug in response, not really wanting to give away too much about what happened last night.
“Well we are back to normalcy. Jack has a few assignments for you today.” I can tell this pleases him.
“Great,” I say sarcastically. “Hey Arden don’t you have a day off too?” The last day off he had I had to travel around with Garrett and I would not like to repeat that.
“Yes, I do and apparently it will now coincide with your day off. So, if you would like I can show you the real important parts of the city.”
“I thought you weren’t into history?”
“I am not but if you were supposed to get a tour then you should,” Arden says sternly.
“I saw the top of the wall.”
“That counts for something, I suppose.” Arden re-calibrates his device and we march forward. “Hey, did you happen to see the fireworks over the city. They were incredible but a little too loud.”
“Yeah, I did, it was spectacular,” I say more about mine and Aleksander’s kiss than the fireworks themselves. “Do fireworks happen often?”
“Hardly, the last time was probably when I first arrived so that makes two times in my lifetime.”
“Wow.�
� I think about how many times I had seen fireworks in my lifetime. As a kid, it was every fourth of July and sometimes when we went to Disneyland. Growing up with fireworks made them less spectacular but I am sure to Arden and to all the other dream walkers the novelty had not worn off.
“Well you have dreamlusions don’t you? Why don’t you create a firework show?”
“The amount of effort it could take to expel one firework as a dreamlusion would be impossible for us let alone creating the sound.” Arden purses his lips.
“What if I create a fireworks machine for you and you could set it off whenever?”
Arden seems hopeful but his face falls almost immediately. “It’s a nice thought, really, but I am sure Jack would not approve.”
“Why’s that? Does she not want her people to be happy?”
“It’s a risk of distraction, too much distraction. Most of us still have a job to do,” he looks wary.
“As do I in the real world but none of it has to impact our happiness, at least not completely.”
“That’s an argument you have to save for Jack, not for me.”
“You’re right, I know you are. It just all feels extremely unfair. I am sure you know because you are living it.” I sigh. Arden does not respond. “But what if leadership was to change?” I ask quietly. Arden still shushes me as if I yelled my words.
“That is a suggestion only for after you have changed me. I could not handle it, not as I am now.”
“It was just a fleeting thought.” I wave my hand dismissively. I don’t mention that I discussed it with Aleksander and that it was something I was considering.
We arrive at our first assignment, a rather large building that looks recently burnt down. Smoke rises from the ash and remaining rubble. The back wall partially stands along with a window still attached.
“What happened?”
“We don’t really know. The dream walkers that live here have not been found and none of the other buildings near here have been destroyed.”
