by D. H. Quinn
I try to back away from its firm grip. Another tendril darts out of the other side of the desk and grabs my other arm and pulls me in. I scream then. I kick and thrash in an attempt to be released. The grip tightens. One in the center of my desk appears and wraps around my neck.
I panic more, feeling my breath being taken from me, feeling my strength fail me. Stay focused on reality, Kade’s words echo in my head and I try to focus on them. This is my reality! I am going to choke. I am going to die. My mind screams at me. I am weak. I am pitiful. I am alone. I am pathetic. I imagine Jack saying these things, a smug smile on her face.
The anger propels me. I kick my chair out from underneath me and my balance is quickly thrown off.
I lean towards my desk and the creature tightens its grip on me. Remember where you are, I tell myself. I can figure this out. I can get away. I have power in this world. I turn my head to the left and imagine a fast spinning saw blade coming down on the tentacle. I close my eyes as the blade falls and the relief from the tight grip is immense.
I open my eyes and see a piece of the tentacle still grips my arm. I shake my arm wildly until it comes off. The creature pulls me closer and my cheek and nose touch the keyboard, pressing the keys down. I picture a large cleaver in my free hand and then I swing it fiercely hitting the tentacle that is wrapped around my neck. I scream in relief at the release.
I use the cleaver to chop the last remaining tentacle and then crouch away from my desk. My boss is on the other side, staring at me glumly and then Liam appears behind her. I am happy for a moment to see him but then fear crawls through me. His eyes are dark voids. He looks down at me and scolds me as if I am a child.
“What are you doing here?” His eyes have returned to normal but my fear level rises. I bring myself to my feet slowly, while watching his every move.
“I need to go. None of this is real.” I begin to walk towards the exit. He grabs my wrist and clutches it tightly.
“This isn’t real,” he repeats after me, eyes wide. I turn around and see Liam calmly gazing over at me. “Are you all right?”
“I am trying to be but I need to go.” I attempt to shake my wrist free. His grip does not falter.
“You aren’t okay and it's this places fault, can’t you see that?” He asks me in a hushed whisper.
“That’s why I am trying to leave,” I say more aggressively and I attempt to yank my arm free. I momentarily consider grabbing the discarded cleaver on the floor and using it but looking at Liam’s face even though this it isn’t real stops me.
“You won’t leave, you never will, you are too cowardly to follow your passion.”
“You don’t know that,” I respond, turning towards him.
“Right because you’re comfortable where you are, how pathetic.”
“Let me go!” I pull my arm even harder. All this achieves is shooting pain in my shoulder. He does not budge.
“Your mom always knew you were weak, its why she always pushed you like she did,” he spews at me.
“You know nothing about my mother!” I yell back letting rage fuel me. The smile grows on his face and this is exactly what he, correction what it, wants. I picture another cleaver in my free hand and chop down on his arm quickly. A look of surprise crosses Liam’s face and then he falls back onto the ground.
“Please don’t leave me. Kamari I know it's in your nature to leave others but not me.”
“I am sorry.” My apology is empty. I keep my cleaver in hand and exit the office building, transported back to the middle of the flower field Kade and I had previously been standing in.
“Kamari,” Kade waves me over. I drop the cleaver and jog over to him. “That is one of the things you need to look out for although there’s really not much avoiding it,” he tells me with a grim uncomfortable smile.
“What exactly was that?”
“Kind of your emotions taking over, like if something is worrying you, you will see it in your dreams. Humans’ minds are always going so there’s no real way to guarantee when such an event would occur.”
“So those weren’t Mares?”
Kade shakes his head.
“That never happened in the city.”
“Not with the city walls it won’t, lots of magic in those things,” he says vaguely as if this explains everything. “We need to move.” Kade marches off.
“Can we make the plane soon?” Mental exhaustion turns into physical as well.
“The plane must be made when you can fully make it to the city. We will travel for a while, I will camp out and then we will make the plane immediately on your return.”
“I understand, if I disappear in the plane I may end up in a different location than you.”
“Yes, that’s correct. Should be just a bit more traveling for today.”
“Great I look forward to it.” I do not hide the sarcasm and worry in my tone. He chooses to ignore me now as he whistles and walks forward. My complaining could only increase the tension so I decide to stop. I stand up straight and keep up with his pace. He looks relieved that I will not make it difficult for him. I start to feel better as well. I proved to myself I wasn’t weak in there. I could overcome.
The end of the field feels like it may never come. I want to suggest making a car but I remember what Kade said, just do as I am told. I trust him. After all, the last time I created a car, a large lion attacked, most likely attracted to the energy I put out.
Pollen enters the air with each step we take. I am reminded of the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy and her friends are overcome by the flowers and fall asleep. The colors that surround us amaze me and I can’t help but feel somewhat elated and free. I can’t believe I am here experiencing this! The beauty of the dream world is sometimes breathtaking.
Kade seems to be experiencing a similar high. His shoulders are low and relaxed, his normally dull eyes sparkle under his bushy eyebrows. “It really is amazing, your world,” I comment.
He nods in agreement, “I enjoy it even with all the problems you humans cause.”
“I wish we didn’t.” I say earnestly. Humans tainting this sounds awful.
He sighs. “Such is the nature of our world and yours. Many humans I have met have so much darkness inside and that transfers here to our world. The Mares feed on that darkness and create more darkness inside of humans and thus, the cycle never ends.”
“I wish it was different. I wish you all had your own world that you could live in safely which is why I want the city to change so badly.”
He smiles at me then. “I appreciate that but in my thousands of years I have learned to accept humans and although I resent your kind I realize none of us would be here without you all.”
“I understand that but do you believe there is a way to change your world for the better?”
“Jack is a good start and after that well I have some ideas,” he grins.
“You like to do that don’t you, leave things open-ended for the future?”
He shrugs, “in this world the possibilities of the future are truly endless, it would be shameful to confine myself to just one possibility for my life.”
“Is that why you don’t stay in the city all the time?”
“Exactly and who knows how much longer I will be staying by the lake either. The ever-changing nature of the city fascinates me. I guess that’s why I keep going back to it,” he seems to be reminiscing and I get the sense his story has more to it.
We reach the end of the field. Our conversation made our trip go faster. We stare at a rather large area of stone ruins. Grass and vines reach through them seemingly pulling them downwards into the ground, weaving in and out of cracks, old windows and broken doors.
“I don’t feel good about this place,” I say and at that moment a strong wind blows through the area.
“Abandoned places tend to give off that feeling, a devoid of life is unsettling for sure but it is nothing to be afraid of so long as you don’t do anything to make it into something unset
tling,” he says with a warning tone. He looks over at me and most likely reads my confusion then adds, “just don’t create anything, and control your emotions and we should be fine.”
I nod and we walk forward. We enter what used to be a doorway although it is now crumbled and barely standing open with the support of one stone pillar. Kade leads the way, twisting in and out through the overgrown foliage and crumbled walls. We stop at a dead end.
Kade swings his backpack off and pulls out a small hunting knife. He kneels down and chops at the vines near the bottom of the wall. I notice the entrance to a small hole appear as he clears out more and more of the grass and vines. He puts his knife back in his backpack and looks up at me.
“We’re not...” I say in disbelief as a bout of claustrophobia starts to overcome me.
“We have too and quickly.” He places his backpack in front of him and pushes it in. He then begins to crawl. He stops and I can see only his feet. “Come on,” he commands and I obey. I get down to my knees and lean forward on my hands.
Seeing it up close gives me anxiety and I can’t imagine how Kade is getting through this so easily but his feet move forward seamlessly with each second that passes. The tunnel is extremely dark. I let out an exhale and crawl forward.
The grass in the tunnel matches the unruliness of the grass outside. It sticks to my hand with each movement. The sensation of being held down overwhelms me. The air is damp and thick and feels difficult to breathe in. My heart pounds out of my chest. The bottoms of Kade’s feet ahead of me is the only thing that reassures me to keep moving forward.
After what feels like a solid few minutes of me slowly following Kade I can’t help but speak up. “How much longer?”
I think he does not hear me at first but he stops moving and then responds, he breathes heavily, “almost just stay calm, they will sense your fear,” he moves forward.
I crawl forward once again and try to believe that this is almost over, but an enormous sense of dread rolls through me. I will be in here forever, like I will not be able to breathe clearly ever again, or see clearly, or stretch out my arms and legs. The feeling overwhelms me but I continue to push myself forward.
My breathing is loud and unsteady after a few moments. My foot catches on what I assume is some longer grass and I am unable to move forward. “Kade!” I call out in a shaky voice. “I’m stuck!” I see barely an inch of the bottom of his shoe. A distant scream echoes through the tunnel.
“Pull yourself out, this grass isn't that strong, you must have dug yourself into the ground.” Kade reassures.
I lift my foot and feel whatever is holding me stay firmly in place. “What if it's not the grass?” I ask in a panicked whisper. I tug my foot a bit more and it does not budge.
Kade stays silent momentarily and I know he is listening now because I am as well. The distant scream echoes once again but it is louder and clearly closer now. It sounds like it is coming from outside the tunnel but my currently illogical self thinks it is coming from whatever is holding my leg down.
“We must move, now!” he shuffles away and I can no longer see his foot. I yank my foot again and to my relief it comes loose. I move forward, purposefully ignoring my fears that want to hold me back and instead focusing on the fear that moves me forward, the one that knows I want to get out of here.
I am making progress. I tell myself even though nothing has changed in my environment. I am still unable to breathe, still unable to see, and still stuck in a stone tunnel but this would pass, this is not real, I tell myself and that motivation works. The scream sounds farther away now.
Then I finally see some light shining through. I crawl out and stand up and then take a few dramatic breaths. Kade looks me over. “You alright?”
“Yes, just my foot was stuck and I had a panicked moment but,” I lift my pant leg and reveal my ankle which has a large hand print wrapped around it. I let my pant leg go and scurry away from the tunnel. Nothing but darkness emanates from the hole.
“Can we just go?” I ask feeling myself tremble with fear. A guilty surprised look crosses Kade’s face. He had after all told me it would be safe. “It’s okay, there would have been nothing you could have done anyway,” I tell him, really wanting to shake him out of his stupor quickly.
Kade finally begins walking and I follow him. “I am sorry, I always thought humans were just dramatic.” His words sound sympathetic.
“It’s fine but understand that everything I went through in your world has been intense, anyone that has experienced something like that may be extra cautious.”
“I understand that now.”
“You think it was a Mare?”
“Possibly, it could have been feeding on your fear,” he shrugs
“I don’t feel particularly bad, in fact it felt like I was released from my fears back there.”
“Well maybe you overcame it. I have heard of that before but rarely. If so that’s impressive,” Kade says with a raised eyebrow. “Do you do that often in your waking life, overcome your fears?”
“Hardly. I suppose my fears control me .”
Kade shrugs off my comment. We are still in the depths of this ruin jungle and we may not get to the exit in time. Kade walks with urgency. “I am going to wake up soon.” I warn. He nods and keeps walking.
“Let’s keep going.” He picks up speed even more. We carefully step over a patch of thorny vines. “Still a while to go.” I hear a distant scream. Whatever is out there will find me if I wake up here.
Instead of voicing my concerns, I keep up the pace with Kade. He saw me for the first time as impressive and although I do not know him well, I want him to like me, mainly because I want him to like humans. Kade stops midstride and I almost run into his back. I step away from him to give him space.
He places his hand on a large wall, staring blankly up at it, there are no other passage ways to go from here except to turn back. “We were almost there,” he says glumly. He turns to me, his hand dropping to his side. “I am sorry, I did not realize such a change had occurred.” His worried eyes inform me that we will in fact not make it out of here today.
I bite my lip contemplatively. I am tempted to create something that could just bulldoze thru here but Kade will not approve. I ask anyways. He gives me a disapproving look. “You heard them, haven't you? They are already trailing you.”
“I know.”
“We are going to have to head back.” His speed slows down. He has no hope for finding the exit now. I follow him for only a few more minutes until I roll over in my bed to reach my phone and turn off my alarm. Maybe I won’t sleep tonight, I consider as I swing my legs out of my bed. But Kade will be looking for me, I cannot just leave him waiting.
Chapter Nine
I start my work day early. I know I am off when a few of my coworkers ask me if I am okay. Slept bad, I inform them with a small smile. This is somewhat true anyways. I definitely feel exhausted. Liam texts me midday to confirm our date. He is excited but all I can feel is heaviness. I keep thinking about Aleksander and guilt rolls through me.
I wonder if whatever grabbed my ankle is affecting me, that it was indeed a Mare. I was told that Mares could affect me mentally. I look down at my ankle throughout the day. Although I do not see anything physically, the handprint is still on my skin.
The hand itself tightens around my ankle in my mind over and over again. At the time I had accepted that it was just stuck in the grass. The thought disturbs me, especially considering I may meet whatever it was again tonight. I remind myself that it did not chase me through the tunnels, and that maybe I warded it off for good. If not then maybe I could manage to escape it again.
My mind wanders throughout the entirety of the day, even up until the car ride with Liam to dinner. He makes casual small talk on the way to the restaurant. When we are finally seated, menus in hand, he leans forward and rests his hand on mine.
“Is everything alright with you?” He asks, his brows knitting together with c
oncern. “Because I thought you were excited for tonight?” This question hurts my heart. I told myself I wouldn’t let the dream world interfere with my real life and here's Liam a perfect guy and I’m still pushing him away.
“I was, I am, I just haven’t been sleeping great.” He rubs my hand with his thumb and it’s comforting. I just want to talk about what has been happening to me. The waiter comes up and takes our drink order. “Do you believe in the existence of alternate worlds?” I ask. He laughs gently and releases my hand but does not answer my question. Great, now he must really believe that I am crazy.
“Hypothetically speaking, the odds that we are not the only ones in the universe are high,” he finally says once he realizes I am not joking.
“Would you believe in the possibility of a dream world existing?”
“Well, scientifically dreams have no proven function, so you are saying that once we go to sleep, we visit a different world, or our consciousness does?” Thankfully, he is actually fascinated with the topic.
“Yes, we visit another world so to speak.”
He ponders quietly for a moment. “Well I suppose it's possible, we have no real way to tell though since we often don’t remember dreams and they are never really cohesive.”
“Would you believe it if you had cohesive dreams and characters in said dreams who told you about the existence of the world?” This question snaps him out of his interest.
“We are talking hypothetically of course?” I nod, feeling my face flush.
“Good because that would be insane. What kind of crazy person would even accept the existence of even a dream character, could you imagine? It’s their own creation telling them they exist. How bizarre, twisted and lonely must someone’s mind be to potentially believe that,” he says with a snarky laugh.
“Right, of course,” I shake my head, forcing a fake smile. Thankfully the waiter chooses this moment to bring over our drinks. I had ordered an iced tea but I ask for a beer as well.
