by Erin R Flynn
“There is more for you to have as you were unhelpful last time,” she said, leading me over to a chair to sit down.
“Cousin, do not lecture her as that is not true,” Esta, Irma’s older cousin and manager of the new hobgoblin bakery I was starting, chastised. “It seems young Tamsin was quite right in her assessment and wasn’t being dismissive at all. She should always be free to speak honestly with us.”
“I was teasing her,” Irma defended.
“I do not think she knew this,” Esta muttered, nodding to me.
Irma’s head snapped in my direction, giving me a worried look. “You didn’t?”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t tell. You seemed… There’s a lot going on, Irma. It’s hard to have it all on me.”
She took my hands in her smaller ones. “Oh, child, I’m sorry. I was teasing you. Please always know I’m teasing you. You are so easy to please and that is not a fault but a virtue. You appreciate all we do and many do not. I should have thought of all on your shoulders. I meant to lighten your heart, not add to your worries.”
I squeezed her hands, glad we settled this. When I tasted all the goodies after my training with the Rothchilds, I’d honestly liked it all. I hadn’t meant to sound dismissive, but I thought she’d taken it that way.
“We all have a lot going on. It’s hard to know and I’ve been mixed up inside about a lot. I don’t want to lead anyone the wrong way. Sometimes I need people to hear me that I’m not ready to make certain decisions.”
“We’ve been pushy,” Irma sighed. “In our excitement we’ve all been pushy. We will do better and be more supportive instead of adding more pressure.”
I sighed in relief. That would be a huge help. I thanked her before focusing on Esta. “You said I was right?”
“Oh yes, quite right,” she praised. “When you told us, everything was wonderful but to focus on treats for sporting events or added to catering events, you were very wise as we did well beyond our projections. People were excited at the idea of being able to order in large quantities for their spring and summer events but also to give their feedback and ideas for our upcoming menus.”
I bobbed my head as I accepted a sports drink from Darby. “Important people want their opinions heard.” When I loved everything they’d brought me for samples—every time they’d brought me samples—I couldn’t make the decision. I honestly shouldn’t have been the one to make the decision simply because I was the only fairy around.
They said it wasn’t the reason but I was the owner, though I knew that wasn’t the full truth. Hobgoblins were practically hardwired—like all fair folk—to make fairies happy. I was pretty sure we were the same towards them, but I wasn’t going to be the customer… So why not ask the customers when we were already going to be at this huge event selling concessions?
It seemed like a no brainer so if people bought stuff, they were offered input cards ranking options we were thinking of from what they wanted most on our menu to least. Sure, some might be assholes and fuck with us, but people were salivating at the chance to get more fae goods and foods made with fae produce.
“We saved several of each for you to celebrate with as you didn’t have a chance to try them all beforehand,” Esta told me as she waved several people over. “Your idea of the array of caramel and candy dipped marbles were exceedingly successful.”
“I’m glad.”
“So was everything,” she hedged. “I will let you know the results of the surveys when I look them all over but we will be popular fast and need more help if we are going to keep up with the orders we can realistically expect.”
“I’m working on that but we’ll also have to start slow and be honest about that and our capabilities,” I muttered as I reached over and snagged a brownie. I moaned as I bit into. It wasn’t simply a brownie but a pearlberry swirl one which was like heaven. Nice.
“We have faith in you, child. I simply wanted to make sure you were informed, not to put pressure on you.” She dipped her head to me and patted my knee. “Congratulations on your win. You did us all proud. All of us.”
I gave her a sad smile, knowing she meant all the missing fairies. Esta had been incredibly vocal that they were alive, simply missing… For now. I wished I had her faith but honestly it helped me sometimes to be around people who had such faith.
Other times it made me feel more pressure to get my ass in gear and get them answers so nothing was perfect.
As if to make my point, my gaze landed on Craftsman who was standing off to the side with Professor Nelson and a few other teachers having a drink. Instead of a celebration, he looked as if he was at a memorial or funeral.
“Please, leave it be,” I whispered to the hobgoblins when I realized they were focused where I was. “It’s his choice not to support me or agree with how I handle things.”
“He does not deserve you if he does not,” Este grumbled. “But no, it is not something he should be punished for either as long as he still treats you with respect and ends it with dignity.”
I swallowed my next bite loudly. Wow, so that was… Blunt. Even the hobgoblins knew we were at the point of ending things.
Ouch.
I kept eating for fuel but maybe my feelings as well, trying to remember that it was my party to celebrate. Afterwards, was the photo shoot that had also been pushed back from last weekend and smiling for that when so tired was hard enough but with Craftsman on my mind, it was damn near impossible.
The clothes the designers we’d selected from other schools were great and I liked the trend of bright colors that were supposedly going to be hot in the summer. Everything was perfect so I did my best and pushed through to make sure it was what everyone else needed.
And then when it was finally all over I did what I needed.
I took the night to be alone much to everyone’s shock. Darby gave me several worried looks but agreed, giving me a kiss and wishing me a good night. Even Izzy was nice and crashed at Mel’s room on campus. I crawled into bed and finally stopped holding back, letting the melancholy sweep over me, crash over me like stormy ocean waves.
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared off into the darkness. I’d hurt people that day. I didn’t like doing that. Yes, I wanted them to get the justice they deserved but I wasn’t a nutfuck who enjoyed hurting people. I wasn’t a psycho. I’d punished people because no one else was doing it and I could.
That didn’t mean it was easy for me.
That didn’t mean it didn’t cost me to do it.
It affected me to be the one to do it but I was willing to pay that price.
And apparently part of that price was Craftsman and his “love” for me.
“He never really loved me if he didn’t know this was who I was,” I reminded myself.
Except the problem was… I’d truly loved him.
12
The next week of school was pretty rough on me. People either adored or hated what I’d done, rarely anything in between. The ones who loved it were mostly scholarship students or lower on the food chain and loved that the bullies got a taste of their own medicine. But that meant they couldn’t outwardly support me and not end up in hot water with me.
I understood, it simply left me in a precarious position. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but again, I’d been so focused on the Power Playoffs themselves, I hadn’t thought much about what had come after.
Well, some things, non-school things, and those took up most of my focus as I worked on one project in particular in secret with those helping me. It helped me avoid the reality of what else was going on.
And who I was avoiding… Which wasn’t all that hard since he didn’t seem to really want to see me either. Craftsman made no attempt to contact me after my victory party, which made me really glad I’d pushed through and finished my Latin I class for high school at the beginning of the semester so we didn’t have any more study sessions.
I was also avoiding Hudson and Lucca. They hadn’t done anything
but I was in a fragile place. I was spread too thin and I saw signs of regression to behavior I didn’t like. I couldn’t risk they disapproved of what I’d done and it pushed me emotionally or mentally.
“What’s going on with you?” Mel had asked me when I asked her for extra training after class.
I swallowed loudly. “I’ll tell you but I don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“Okay.”
“I thought about telling Darby he could bite me,” I whispered, hanging my head in shame.
“Oh, Tams, you’re too hard on yourself,” she murmured as she hugged me. “We all have those weak moments where we’re desperate to keep the love and affection we have. Just because you’re jumbled and thinking of how to hold onto what you have does not mean you’re the doormat willing to accept any crumbs you were years ago. You’re not that girl anymore. You’re just having a rough time.”
I nodded, hugging her back, hoping she was right but I felt like that stupid girl again. I did.
And I think Darby noticed something was really up with me too because he slept over every night that week, holding me and telling me he was proud of me. He had whispered sweet nothings in my ear each night as I drifted off and clung to him. I knew he, Mel, and maybe even Izzy thought this was about Craftsman but it wasn’t only that.
No, it was about the nightmares too and everything with Faerie. It was about helping the fair folk here and the dragons and… Everything. The pressure of it all was crushing me and in the midst of that wasn’t the time to have my first heartbreak of someone I’d truly fallen for.
Especially since of the men I was involved with I’d thought Craftsman had seen me the most and knew me best. He was the only one who knew I was a fairy—since I wasn’t actually with Lucca—and he was the one walking away.
Why would Darby and Hudson stay once they knew the real me?
So not only was I ready for the weekend and to get off, but for something I’d been working hard on to come to fruition. I was ready to do some fucking good and make some lives better while knocking the proverbial legs out from under an asshole harassing me.
And had been for months.
Alpha Alec was finally getting his fucking meeting, but on my terms and now that I had everything in place. Plus, his attitude was a bit better after we’d caught his spies in the traps over break and he’d clearly watched the Power Playoffs and was paying attention I wasn’t someone to fuck with.
He’d still underestimate me. Of course, he would. I was young, female, and new to the supe world, while he was an older, stronger, smarter Alpha male dragon. It was a given. I think he actually got that I wasn’t an easy target anymore and that would help the meeting at least be civil.
Because the aftermath was going to be anything but.
Originally, he demanded I come into his territory as he demanded the meeting. Claudia and Geiger didn’t even need to speak with me to tell him that was never going to happen. Then he countered with me going into Africa’s territory.
Yeah, that was no better and I still wasn’t that stupid.
Idiot.
He kept pushing though and immediately was getting shut down for weeks and weeks. Finally, he gave in after the spring break trap and asked where I would be willing to meet for the meeting that would happen. Well, that was better but he was still a dick to assume it would happen.
He wanted something from me so it was time he understood I held all the cards and I made that clear when I had all the pieces in place. I gave him a few days’ notice that my schedule opened up and I could meet him in the Vogel’s territory, but at an Alpha wolf compound.
A powerful one only a fucking idiot would try shit at. Zach and Ray knew Alpha Geoff fairly well and while they weren’t buddies, they said the guy’s honor was impeccable. That was all we needed as that meant the place was safe and he wouldn’t let Alec screw us over.
Because we were planning to screw Alec, just not there.
Everyone agreed on how many guards and people beforehand and I was the only one allowed weapons as Alec had gone as far as to leave threats in his messages. Plus, the wolves knew I wasn’t one of them so I didn’t have claws to protect myself. The dragons also knew I wasn’t one of them so I couldn’t turn into them and be a scary fucking dragon.
I was fine with all of them assuming I was weaker and simply a powerful witch as long as I got to keep my weapons.
Once we were all situated in the compound’s large meeting room, Alec started, his mate Kim smirking next to him. “We want crystals.”
I blinked at him several times. “No shit. And?” I rolled my eyes when several people on my side tried to cover their amusement. “Like no shit we’re here because you want crystals. That’s great. You dragged me here to tell me that? Okay, I want world peace. We done now?”
Alec ground his jaw at my mocking and he adjusted his neck. “You’d have to be a complete moron to not know I wanted them. Of course, that’s why we’re here. I’m simply saying it out loud and—”
“Without threats this time?” I drawled, crossing my arms over my chest as I sat back in my seat. “Dude, you weren’t even subtle in your messages you wanted the crystals. Yeah, I got that. You want them. Great. Get to the point of what you’re offering so I can pretend to think about it and turn you down. I’m not helping you stay in power. I agreed to the meeting so you can stop bugging everyone, nothing more.”
“Listen here you—”
“No, you listen,” I snapped. “You need me. Start acting like it.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I have what you want too so lose some of your ego.”
I studied him closely, already knowing he was blocking me with a charm as he was smart enough to actually learn from his mistakes. “I don’t know what you mean by that but this isn’t about my ego. I don’t think I’m all that great. I don’t even know how I’m doing this with the crystals or understand it. It’s all been an accident people have helped me reproduce. I get its rare. Cool.” I shrugged.
“She really means that,” Alpha Geoff interjected, studying me closely.
Zach nodded out of the corner of my eye. “She is maybe one of the most level headed and non-egotistical powerful supes I’ve ever known, Alpha.”
I shrugged again. “We can all do cool stuff. I get you’re jealous of this crystal thing but you know what I’m jealous of?”
“What?” Alpha Geoff crossed his arms over his chest as if disbelieving there was anything I could be jealous of him for.
“Stability. I bet you have lots of that being boss of all of this and powerful and having a penis in this society. That must give you a lot with your elders and councils. Whereas I have breasts and am young and was an abused unknown that, yeah, I’m magically powerful but I don’t know what’s going on half the time so everyone tries to take advantage of that every other day.”
I gestured with my head towards Alec as if it wasn’t obvious already he was the one who I was referring to. The Alpha didn’t smile but I saw the slight softening in his eyes and his thoughts were full of amusing things.
Hey, might as well win him over while I was there.
“I thought you were too moral to flirt with mated men,” Kim purred. “Apparently not.”
I slowly looked at her and didn’t hide I thought she was the dullest knife of the set. “I get you immediately think about jumping into a man’s bed as the only way you can get power, but I prefer to simply be powerful on my own. I am powerful on my own and you are so fucking jealous of that it oozes from you. So maybe hold your bile in until your mate with the power makes his offer like a good trophy wife.”
“Why you little—” She jumped to her feet but before she even could full stand, she was back in her seat from Alec yanking her down.
“She’s right,” Alec growled. “Keep your bile inside. We have the upper hand here.”
I was about to tell him to shove his shit but people on my side flinched… Which meant he truly believed that. Now, what could he po
ssibly have to offer me that he actually thought that?
“Then make your offer and enough with the crap, Alec,” I drawled, waving him to go ahead. I swallowed a chuckle at the rage in his eyes I wouldn’t address him properly, knowing I was throwing fuel on the fire.
Fine, I was being petty. I was still cranky from the shit week and my own crap. So sue me.
He ground his jaw again but then swallowed it down, smirking at me. “I will trade you crystals for the hobgoblins in my territory. You’ve shown your hand. You’re a bleeding heart that will do anything for them. I will let every fair folk working for dragons in Australia leave and come to the sanctuaries or your havens.”
I was struck so hard with shock my brain even stuttered several moments. Of all the things I thought he could have offered, never, not ever did I suspect this. Then I couldn’t even hide my disgust.
“You really are the vile of the vilest, Alec. The only thing you could even bring to the table is fair folk trafficking? That’s what you’re proposing here. I buy hobgoblins from you basically.”
He curled his lip at me. “No, you are framing it that way. They’re not slaves who—”
“You are riding that line very closely if you’re keeping them captive and have not let any leave of their own free will,” Geiger interjected. “Very closely, Alpha.”
“No, I see it as an exchange of protection,” Alec snapped. “We are different sides as she declared it. It didn’t have to be like this. I want my people protected who are just as innocent as the hobgoblins. She wants them protected. I can make that happen as she can make what I want happen.”
“Bullshit,” I hissed. “You can frame this however you want to your elders, council, and so you can sleep at night but you weren’t letting them leave even before I even could do the fucking crystals. Don’t try and turn this around and make me the one who drew the line in the sand, but you not letting any of them leave was part of why we were always going to be on opposite sides, Alec.”
His eyes filled with shock but he quickly schooled it. “We’ll agree to disagree but that’s the deal on the table. Do you want your precious hobgoblins or not?”
