I didn't want to talk about it. Any other time, I would have exploded and said something hurtful to her, like I did last time. I would have ended all communication with her, and she wouldn't forgive me.
I couldn't find the bull inside me to do it once I turned to see her face. I thought about what Liam said, and I couldn't find the heart to shut her out.
“In case you haven't noticed, I look like a monster,” I replied.
Julie punched me, and she held nothing back in her swing. I grabbed my arm and stared at her as if she were mad, and she could have been. She could have been clinically insane.
“Ow!” I said, staring at her with wide eyes. “That sort of hurt.”
“Good,” she came back, crossing her arms. She was glaring at me, her green eyes narrowed in on me. “I hope it hurt and I hope you feel it.”
“Trust me, I do,” I informed her, rubbing my arm.
She poked my chest with her finger. “I have noticed what you look like, Falon, and it's not a monster I see when I look at you,” she replied.
I don't know where my boldness came from, but I suddenly found myself asking, “What do you see then?”
Julie relaxed, staring at me with that same desperation I had seen before. “I see hurt, and pain, and scars, but all of that is just covering the beauty and the lovely person that I know is in there,” she told me.
Goosebumps ran along my arms, because I knew she wasn't lying, and it scared me because I knew with a certainty. She could see something in me, something that was suppose to be hidden.
I didn't know how.
“So, I'm a lovely monster?”
Julie smiled, nodding slowly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“And you're Sketch?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “No, I'm Julie,” she replied.
“Liam said that everyone calls you Sketch,” I told her, and she nodded.
“Everyone does, but not you. You're my lovely monster, and I'm your Julie,” she replied.
I wasn't sure if she realized the significance of her words, but it didn't pass me. I understood, and I felt it. I felt all of the meaning in that simple statement.
I was hers.
She was mine.
♥
At four o'clock, the nurses came into the room and started claiming kids. The number had diminished long before that, because most of the kids couldn't stay up long without getting sick. The ones left were the children that were determined to keep pushing forward.
They would play even if it killed them, and there was a good possibility that it could happen.
Liam, Julie, and me cleaned up the room. Julie took the coloring books and crayons away as Liam and I swept up. I was surprised that there was a floor when we were done. The room was neat and tidy, and I hadn't thought that possible when I first had walked in.
Liam threw the small basketball through the hoop and then smiled as he watched it ring. “Tonight will be good, my sister,” he exclaimed, giving her a high five.
Julie eagerly claimed her right and retrieved the ball. She made the basket and squealed. She turned and high fived Liam with a wide smile.
They both looked at me. I must have been staring at them like they were crazy (I was certainly thinking it) because they both started to laugh. They could have passed as twins with their laugh.
“It's just a little foolishness. If you make the basket, whatever you planned to do will work out, if not, you'll fail miserably,” Julie replied.
Liam grabbed the ball and tossed it to me. “Try it, my man. Just one throw, you miss, whatever you were thinking about will fail, you make it, you shall succeed,” he said, his voice booming with superiority.
I stared at the plush, orange and black ball and then looked to Julie. She was smiling at me, and that made me feel pretty good. Like I was invincible.
I looked at the net, and then tossed. I squeezed my eyes closed, and then waited for the sound of the net falling over, or something break, but all I heard was the swoosh of the net.
“And it's good!” Liam announced.
“Whoop! Whoop!” Julie chimed in, and I opened my eyes.
You would have thought we had all won the lottery with the way we were smiling and laughing, and dancing and cheering. You would have thought we might be crazy, and that would have been okay too.
Because we didn't care what anyone thought. We were alive, and that was all that mattered.
♥
I walked with Liam and Julie to their car after we locked up. They argued over who was going to drive all the way down in the elevator. Julie argued that Liam couldn't drive because he couldn't hear all the people honking at his recklessness. Liam claimed that Julie could hear them, and still didn't do anything.
I felt sorry for everyone on the highway.
They eventually came to the conclusion that Liam would drive home, and Julie would drive them both to the hospital tomorrow.
When we got outside, my car was closer than theirs, and I stopped at the trunk. They both stopped with me to say goodbyes.
“You will come tomorrow, right? It was kind of nice having a guy around,” Liam said, and Julie nudged his arm.
“I'm not boy enough for you? We basically have the same haircut,” she pointed out.
“But you have boobs. That makes you a chick,” he countered.
“Not true. I've seen guys with way bigger boobs than mine.”
“That is true,” I piped in.
Liam turned to me. “Have you been staring at my sister's chest?” he asked me, and I froze a whole amount of ten seconds before Liam started laughing.
Julie smiled at me, and then winked. I really felt embarrassed by then.
“So you will come?” Julie asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. I'll come back tomorrow, if you want me to,” I told them, but I was mostly talking to Julie. She was the one that I really wanted to want me to come back.
“Of course. We can always use the extra help,” Liam said.
Julie nodded. She then covered the side of her mouth. “Because Liam doesn't help at all,” she told me.
“What did you say?” he asked, grabbing Julie's shoulders as she laughed. “Girl, I asked you a question!” he said, shaking her.
Julie kept laughing until Liam wrapped her in one of his large arms and rubbed his knuckles in her hair. She slipped out and punched him, and I watched them both with a smile on my face.
“We need to get going before I kill him,” Julie said, sparring off with him. Liam waved her off and rolled his eyes.
“All talk, this one is. See you tomorrow, Falon,” he replied, and waved.
“You too,” I told him, but I wasn't sure if he knew. His head had already been turned.
Julie smiled, and stood there for a moment. I thought maybe she was waiting for me to say something. I suddenly had a fluttering in my stomach that kept me silent.
After a while, she sighed and waved her hand. “Bye, Falon,” she told me, and turned to leave.
I cursed under my breath and called her name. She turned around, brow raised, and waiting.
“If you don't work tomorrow, I was wondering if maybe you might want to come over?” I asked, my voice in a rush. I then wet my lips at her expectant gaze. “You know, to help me with my school work and all? That self-teaching stuff hasn't been helping much,” I replied.
Julie smiled, and then nodded. “Sure. How about seven?” she asked.
I nodded.
She nodded, and tilted her head. “I'll see you then,” she replied, and then turned around and ran to her car, leaving me with a permanent smile on my face.
Maybe basketball lotto really worked.
♥
“Pizza is in the kitchen!” Ava's voice called out from her bedroom as I walked into the house. I could smell it as I walked in, along with her perfume and that familiar doctor scent.
I thought maybe all doctors smelled the same. All the ones I knew did. Death, and sickness and a splash of peppermint.
<
br /> “Found it!” I yelled back, opening the box. Half of the pizza looked like a colored mess, the other covered in pepperoni. I took a slice of the pepperoni, and closed the box.
I started thinking about tomorrow, and about Julie coming over. Staring around our kitchen, I knew that what we lived in wasn't a shack, but it wasn't as nice as where she probably lived.
Anyone who would adopt an older child couldn't be hurting for money, and her mother was the head nurse. I didn't know what her dad did, but somehow, I just knew it was something important.
She may not be accustomed to painted cabinets and second-hand furniture. Not that she would say anything. Julie didn't seem like the type to rub her wealth in someone's face.
Ava came from her room in a baggy shirt and her candy cane pajama bottoms. Her face was clear of make up and her hair was up in a messy bun. She looked like herself again.
“I don't get why girls do that?” I told her, shaking my head.
She grabbed a slice of her side of the pizza and narrowed her eyes. “Do what?” she asked. When she took a bite of her pizza, some of the sauce drooled on the side of her mouth, and she wiped it up and sucked it from her finger.
I looked her over and then gestured toward her. “That. I don't get why girls go and get all dolled up on dates, and then come home and turn into slobs,” I told her.
“I'm not a slob. I'm comfortable,” she said quickly. “And besides, guys don't need to see all this. This is my hiding clothes.”
“Hiding clothes?”
Ava rolled her eyes. “I feel comfortable in this, so when I go on a date, I don't want my clothes to make me feel comfortable. I want him to. If I went out like this, I'd be hiding,” she replied.
“That makes absolutely no sense,” I informed her, grabbing another slice of pizza.
She hit me. “Shut up. It makes perfect sense,” she told me.
I had to laugh at her, even though it didn't make sense to me at all. Maybe it didn't need to. I didn't get dolled up for dates.
Not that I went on any.
“Did you have fun with Julie?”
I looked at her with a glare. “I was helping out,” I told her again.
“Helping Julie out,” she cleared up. She laughed when I rolled my eyes. “Are you going back tomorrow?” she asked.
“Yes, and Julie was going to come over here tomorrow too,” I told her. “Are you okay with that?”
“Of course! Yes, yes, yes,” she said, smiling brightly. It was as if a wave of happiness had suddenly flooded her out.
“It's just so she can help me with my schoolwork. It's not a date or anything,” I informed her.
She shrugged. “So? You're still having a friend over. That's all that matters to me. You actually have a friend,” she said, sighing in relief. She was still smiling at me, and it made me want to laugh.
“That date did a number on you, didn't it?”
“Everything just seems so great right now, you know?”
I nodded, thinking about the basketball. Then I thought about Julie's smile. Everything was better than great.
It was perfect.
♥
Ava worked from seven to three that next day, so I told her I would find a way to the hospital. She grew worried, so I promised I would take the bus, which wasn't far from our house. She wasn't too excited about it, but it calmed her over.
I left around ten, and waited for the ten thirty bus. I got off close to the hospital and walked the rest of the way. I got there around eleven.
I wasn't sure what time it normally opened up for the kids though, and when I got to the doors, they were locked. I looked inside, but I didn't see anyone, so I just waited outside the doors.
For about an hour, everytime I heard someone, I looked around the corner and expected it to be Julie or Liam. Each time I was wrong. I thought about going to the vending machines and grabbing something to eat, but I was afraid they would come before I got back.
Around twelve, I heard them. Julie and Liam were walking around the corner, each holding a milkshake and talking about something, or arguing about it.
I straightened out my shirt, dusting off my jeans. I suddenly felt nervous, seeing her coming my way. She was wearing a plain white tee shirt and a floral skirt that hit a few inches above her knees, with a pair of purple converses.
Liam was wearing basically the same thing he had the day before: tee shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Faux hawk hair, and an assertive grin on his face.
But Julie was beautiful, and she looked innocent and pure. Every time I saw her, she always looked like an angel coming my way, as if she had a permanent glow around her.
Like the fire inside her couldn't contain itself and came out as a heavenly glow.
She was the first to see me, and she smiled as she raised her brows in surprise. “Falon? Have you been waiting for us?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I didn't know what time to be here,” I admitted.
She laughed, and looked to Liam. “He said he didn't know what time he was suppose to be here,” she told him.
He looked to me and laughed. “Doors never open before twelve thirty. Most of the kids aren't done with their treatments until after one,” he told me as he moved to the door to unlock it.
Julie gave me an apologetic smile. “I wish I would have known you were already here. I would have gotten you a milkshake,” she told me.
I shook my head. “It's okay. Next time?” I wagered.
She nodded. “Next time,” she agreed.
Liam unlocked the door, and we both followed him in. The room was still nice and clean, because no one had been in there since we had left it. Everything was still neat and organized.
“I'll go and get the coloring books,” Liam said, and then walked out.
I looked at Julie, who was smiling sweetly at me as she pulled out the boxes of blocks and legos. I returned her smile as I took out the tiny kitchen and work table that the smaller kids liked to play with.
“Did you still want me to come over tonight?” Julie asked.
I nodded. “Of course, if you still want to,” I said, adding the last part for safety.
She nodded. “I do. You'll have to give me directions though,” she reminded me.
“I was going to text them to you,” I told her.
Julie began to laugh. “You don't even have my number,” she replied, shooting me an amused grin.
I returned it. “That was a hint for you to give it to me,” I said.
Julie bit her lip. “It's 555-6587,” she told me.
I took out my phone and dialed her number into my contacts. I saved it under her name, and then texted her a smiley face.
Her phone began to whistle, and she pulled it from her back pocket. She was smiling as she typed in something with it. A few seconds later my phone rang.
I looked down at a winking smiley face.
I looked back at Julie, and she was smiling at me. I moved closer to her, switching to my camera. We were only a few feet away from each other when I told her to smile.
She did, and when the camera clicked, I was looking at the screen and her face. I stared at the way her smile lit up the gold in her eyes, and you could feel her fire just by gazing at her face. She was so alive there, living within the memory of my phone.
“If you're going to take naughty pictures of each other, you might as well take one of me too,” Liam said behind us.
I smiled at Julie and turned to look at him. I held up my phone. “Say cheese,” I told him.
He smiled wide, and I clicked a picture of him. There was something about him and Julie that screamed life, and vibrancy. They exuded everything that was suppose to be pure and happy in this world.
And then here I was, caught in the midst of them, feeding off of their energy, and praying that it would rub off on me. I prayed that one day, I could smile so easily, and laugh at everything the way they did.
Surprisingly, it all seemed possible.
♥
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The kids came soon after, and we all split up to different areas. I kept finding myself sneaking glances at Julie. She would return smiles at me, and they would feel like a secret smile, just between us.
The day went by quickly, and we followed through with the same routine as the day before. We all cleaned up, and then walked out together. I saw Ava waiting in the parking lot, and I waved good bye to them both as I went to the car.
Ava looked at me as I got in with a smile and started the car up. “Hey,” she said, turning down the radio and backing out.
I buckled my seat belt. “You didn't have to pick me up,” I told her.
She shrugged it off. “It's fine. It's not like I had anything better to do,” she told me with a laugh.
“Get ready for your date?”
“He's not picking me up until six or seven. It's doesn't take me three hours to get ready,” she replied.
I didn't look convinced. “It's a night date though. Don't you have to get really dolled up for the night time?” I asked.
Ava rolled her eyes. “You're such a guy. Sometimes I wish you would have been my sister,” she told me, shooting me a glare before turning her attention back to the road.
“No girl would deal with having this face,” I told her. “Not even a mother can love this mug.”
I expected a comeback, or a laugh, or something. All I got was silence. When I looked to her, she looked more on edge than humored. I watched as she casted me an apologetic look.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that,” she replied, her voice soft.
“Ava, I was joking,” I told her quickly, reaching over to touch her arm. “I was only joking.”
“Were you really? Because half of the so called jokes you make sound more like insults to yourself,” she told me, raising her voice.
I dropped my hand. “They are jokes. Just because they're true doesn't make it an insult,” I told her.
Lovely Monster Page 6
