Forest begins to frown, and then he gets up. He gestures with his head toward the hallway, and when he walks in the direction of my room, I get up and follow him.
The instant I shut the door behind us, Forest asks, “How are you really doing?”
No matter how hard I try, I can’t lie to my brother, and my face crumbles as the tears rush to the surface. I shake my head, and when Forest pulls me into a hug, sobs begin to wrack me.
Forest rubs a hand up and down my back. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t… deal with… everything,” I admit. “It’s too hard.”
“What’s everything?” he asks, his tone soft and caring, and it only makes the tears fall faster.
“Kao hates me. I look like a monster,” I begin to ramble. “I can’t keep up with the act. It’s all too much.”
Forest leads me over to the bed, and we sit down. He leans forward and tilting his head, he locks eyes with me. “You’re not a monster, Fallon.”
“You haven’t seen the scars.” A breath shudders out of my chest. Every morning I see my face is a death blow to my womanhood. “I can’t even look at myself.”
“Dad and Mom said the cuts are healing nicely.”
I shake my head. “They’re our parents. No matter how ugly we are, they’ll love us.”
A frown forms between Forest’s eyebrows. “You’re not ugly. Stop saying that.”
“But it’s the truth,” I whimper.
I start to cry uncontrollably, and Forest quickly pulls me back into a hug. He tries to calm me with soothing words but none of them help. After a while, he asks, “Why don’t you come home? It’s just ten days until Christmas break. Mila or Jade can email you the work you’ll miss out on.”
I get up to go blow my nose. God, I’ve never cried this much before. My face feels swollen and tender.
Maybe Forest is right, and I should go home. I was wrong to think I’d be able to just go on with my life and ignore the brutal fact that it shattered to pieces. Just like my face.
When I sit down next to Forest again, I say, “The Christmas Ball is next week. At least everything’s arranged, but I’ll have to withdraw from the committee.”
Forest places his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll go to the office and take care of it. Start packing so I can take you home.”
My chin begins to tremble again. I’m disappointed in myself. I thought I was stronger than this. But I know if I stay here I won’t make it. I need to go home and be with my family. Right now, all our friends are worried about Kao, and they’re focused on helping him. Rightly so. He’s blind. My injuries are nothing compared to his… but still, I can’t get through this on my own.
“Come on.” Forest pulls me to my feet. “Just grab the stuff you’ll need for the next two days. I’ll take care of the rest.”
I look up at my brother, and feeling broken and small, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my left cheek against his chest. “Thank you.”
He gives me a tight hug, then pulls back and smiles down at me. “Anything for my favorite sister.”
I let out a chuckle. “I’m your only sister.”
I move toward my walk-in closet. “I want to be gone before Kao gets back from the hospital.”
“Okay. I’ll run to the office. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
Forest rushes out of the room, and I have to admit, I feel better knowing I’m going home.
KAO
I follow Noah into the suite but stop when he comes to a halt.
“I’m taking her home,” I hear Forest’s voice.
There’s a moment’s stunned silence, then Jase asks, “There’s still a week and a half until Christmas break. What about her work?”
“And the Christmas Ball?” Mila adds.
“The lecturers will forward all her assignments, and the ball is the least of our worries,” Forest states.
I hear movement, and then Jase asks, “Are you really going home?”
“Yeah,” Fallon answers, her voice sounding fragile and soft.
I turn my head in her direction, wondering what the hell happened while I was gone. Besides the awkwardness between Fallon and me, things didn’t seem so bad that she would leave. I was hoping for time, so I could at least salvage our friendship.
“I’ll see you all after the Christmas break.”
Noah pulls me to the side, then I hear him murmur, “Call if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Noah,” Fallon whispers near me.
A couple of seconds later, Noah says, “Let’s get you to bed.” He takes hold of my arm and begins to pull me toward the hallway.
I rear back and ask, “What happened?”
“Fallon just went home,” Jase mutters.
“Because of me?” I hate asking the question, but if she’s hurting so badly, then I have to do something. After all, we need to get back to being friends.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Hana snaps as she passes by me. I hear the door slam shut behind her.
“Hana’s just upset because of everything that’s happened,” Mila tries to cover for her friend. “We don’t know why Fallon left. I’ll check in with her once she’s settled in at home.”
I nod, hating that I’m no longer in a position to go after Fallon.
The campus and suite feel like a ghost town without Fallon.
I can’t message her, and calling her while things are so volatile between us feels wrong. Over the past week, I’ve been seeing more blunt objects. I can make out a person and even the length of their hair.
“The swelling looks better,” Noah murmurs as he puts in my eye drops. “The redness, as well.”
“That’s good.” I grin at him. “I’m surprised how quickly the pain faded from post-surgery to today.”
“How’s the itchiness?” he asks.
“It comes and goes.” Hopefully, that will be gone soon. When Noah is done, I put on my prescribed sunglasses. My eyes are still super sensitive to light, so for now, I stay indoors with the lights off.
“Let’s get two hours work in before I have to go to class,” Noah says. I can make out his frame as he moves around the room. Then he comes to sit next to me on the bed. “You have to make a business plan.”
Adjusting after the surgery and catching up with the work I missed has become my new routine.
But life feels empty, and I know it’s because Fallon’s not here. Every second used to revolve around her. Seeing her smiles. Holding her hand. Just being with her even though we weren’t dating.
And now there’s nothing but work, eye drops, and praying my sight fully returns so I can get Fallon back.
I hate that she’s missing the Christmas Ball. She worked so hard on all the preparations. I find myself spacing out, my memories of Fallon carrying me back to happier times when we attended the welcome function a couple of months ago.
Fallon crosses the floor toward our table. Reaching us, she locks eyes with me, her chin held high.
My God, she looks like a goddess.
“Kao, will you please open the dance floor with me?”
Surprise ripples through me. I know it’s a huge deal who Fallon chooses to dance with, seeing as she’s from one of the founding families at Trinity Academy.
I rise to my feet, and placing my hand on Fallon’s lower back, I walk with her to the open space near the stage where the band is situated. As violin strings begin to fill the air, I capture her gaze, and I take her right hand in mine.
The song, along with having Fallon in my arms, feels very different from when I danced with her at her prom.
I know Fallon’s responsible for choosing the band and the music they’ll perform, and knowing she chose Secrets by One Republic for the opening song, makes me listen to every word.
Everyone in the hall fades away, and for the life of me, I can’t break eye contact with Fallon. It’s like she’s placing me under a spell.
The next song, Rewrite The Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya, makes my heartbeat s
peed up, and anticipation begins to hum between our bodies.
It feels like Fallon’s trying to tell me how she feels through the music.
Moving my hand from her hip and up her back, I pull her closer to me until our chests touch.
There’s always been a special friendship between us, but right now, it’s more – it’s filled with the possibility of so much more.
As the song grows with intensity, my lips part, and I watch as emotions play over Fallon’s beautiful face.
My heart slams hard against my ribs as Fallon’s lips move, and she whispers the final lyrics of the song, ‘You know I want you. It’s not a secret I try to hide. But I can’t have you. We’re bound to break, and my hands are tied.’
Chapter 12
FALLON
I’m sitting out back on the veranda, looking at the storm clouds drifting closer.
I hear the door open, and glancing over my shoulder, I watch as Dad comes to take a seat next to me.
We sit in silence for a while, then Dad says, “Before I met your mother, my world felt black and white.”
I turn my eyes to him, and when he takes hold of my hand, I struggle to smile.
“I don’t think I would’ve made it through my last year at Trinity without her.”
Shock ripples through me from hearing Dad’s confession. He’s always been the strongest man I know, and to hear that he went through a rough time, makes him look more human in my eyes.
“I wasn’t in a good place with your Uncle Julian and grandfather. I only had your Uncle Mason and Uncle Lake to lean on.”
I turn my body toward Dad and lean my head against the high back chair. Wrapping both my hands around his, I wait for him to continue.
“But then your Mom burst into my life like a kaleidoscope of color. She changed everything. My relationship with Julian and my father. She… made me stronger.”
“And that’s why you call her your rainbow,” I murmur.
“Yes.” Dad nods, then turns his gaze to mine. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that things will get better. They always do.”
I suck in a deep breath and lower my eyes to our joined hands. “It doesn’t feel like it will get better,” I admit. “Things between Kao and me will never be what they were before the accident happened. And the scars…”
I’ll never feel like a woman again.
Dad gets up from the chair and comes to crouch in front of me. There’s an earnest expression darkening his eyes. “In four weeks, you’ll go for the surgery, and Dr. Menard will remove all the scarring. I know it’s hard right now, but hold out for one month.”
It’s taking all my strength just to make it to tomorrow. A month feels like an eternity.
Dad must see the hopelessness on my face because he rises to his feet and pulls me up.
When he frames my face with both hands, the lump in my throat grows impossibly big. The stitches were removed two days ago, but it did nothing to improve the horrible swollen scars.
Dad leans closer, his eyes burning with certainty, and his mouth set in a determined line. “You are so beautiful, Fallon.” Then he leans down, and he presses his lips to my right cheek.
I fist my hands at my sides and squeeze my eyes shut as I say, “You’re my Dad. You’ll always think I’m beautiful.”
“You are,” I hear Uncle Mason.
Dad moves to the side, and as Uncle Mason and Uncle Lake join us outside, it’s so hard not to breakdown and cry.
Uncle Mason’s sharp gaze drifts over my face, and then he states with so much certainty I can feel it in my bones, “You are fucking breathtaking. No amount of scarring will ever change that.”
When I shake my head, Uncle Mason asks, “Does the scar on my arm make me look any different?”
I shake my head again. “You’re a man, Uncle Mace. It makes you look rugged.”
“In four weeks, you’ll look good as new,” Uncle Lake adds his opinion.
I know. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.
“What’s really the problem?” Uncle Lake asks. He’s always been so damn perceptive, just like Jase.
Kao.
With the business ties between our families, I don’t want to say something that will cause friction.
Instead of admitting the truth, I say, “I know a month from now everything will be different. It’s just hard right now.”
My uncles and Dad give me a hug, and then Uncle Lake says, “Come on, I brought food.”
His words make the corner of my mouth curve up as I follow them back inside the house.
I’ve resumed my visits to my grandfather, and sitting on the couch next to him, I wait for him to start the movie we’ll be watching.
Since I turned thirteen, watching classic movies have been our thing, where Gramps play chess with Jase. Carla and Gramps read the same books, and with Forest, he plays golf.
When Gramps goes to Youtube instead of selecting a movie, I frown.
“Have patience with me, my girl. I don’t go on Youtube often,” Gramps explains. “Ahh… there it is.”
Then he presses play on a reconstructive video done by Dr. Menard. My eyes are glued to the TV screen as Dr. Menard explains how he did reconstructive surgery on a woman who had suffered domestic violence. Seeing the before and after pictures leave me speechless.
When the video ends, Gramps says, “I wanted you to see how good your doctor is, so you won’t have any worries about your impending surgery.”
From talking to my family the past weeks and now having watched the video, I do feel confident that Dr. Menard will be able to help me.
“I know he’s good,” I agree with Gramps. “I’m worried about going back to the academy and having to attend classes for the three weeks before the surgery,” I explain.
A dark frown settles between Gramps’ heavy eyebrows, and then he barks, “You’re my girl, and if anyone gives you any trouble, I’ll end them.”
My grandfather’s fierce protectiveness warms my heart, but it doesn’t do anything to lessen my anxiety.
“Tell me what you’re worried about,” Gramps urges me to open up to him.
Knowing he won’t back down, I let out a heavy sigh. “Kao.”
The thunderous expression on Gramps’ face darkens.
“I’m scared of his reaction. Noah has been sending me updates regarding Kao’s vision, and this morning he said Kao could see finer details like faces and what they were wearing.” My anxiety has increased with each day closer to the end of the Christmas break. I don’t want to go back. I wish I could hide at home until after the surgery, but missing a whole month of school is also not an option. “I don’t want Kao to see the scars. It would kill me if he were repulsed by me.”
“Are you in a relationship with Kao?” Gramps asks.
I shake my head. “We were close before the accident and were on our first date when it happened.”
“And after the accident? How was your relationship with him?”
“He said he wants to be just friends.” I suck in a suffocating breath. “After he found out I got hurt, he withdrew from me.”
Gramps nods, the corners of his mouth pulling down. “It’s simple,” he grumbles. “The boy’s not worthy of you.”
I shake my head, and bringing a hand up, I tuck some hair behind my left ear. “But I love him.”
“Even so,” Gramps reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.”
Easier said than done.
“You’re right.” I force a smile to my face, and getting up, I grab our cups. “I’ll make us more coffee while you select the movie.”
I try not to hurry to the kitchen because even though my grandfather is right, I can’t stop worrying. I wouldn’t survive it a second time if Kao were to be repulsed by the scars. I’m barely hanging on as is, and it feels like a feather could knock me over.
God, how am I going to do this? I have to go back in two days.
&
nbsp; KAO
There’s a constant smile on my face as I sit in the living room. Movement catches my eye, and it widens my smile. I can make out Mom, even though she’s blurry, as she walks toward me. Everything is still black and white, but if I focus for an extended period of time, the blurring decreases a little. I can see so much better than a week ago.
Dad almost cried when I recognized him a week ago. Hell, I almost cried. It’s been a long three weeks of recovering, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but things are starting to look up.
The healing has given me hope. If my eyes keep getting better, there’s a chance for Fallon and me. I’ll be able to offer her a future again. The thought makes my heartbeat speed up. Not having contact with her the past three weeks has been nothing short of hell. I have to hear how she’s doing via Jade, Mila, and Noah.
We’re going back to the campus this afternoon so we can get settled in. I’m nervous and worried I’ve hurt Fallon too much, and any chance I might’ve had with her is gone.
But I have a plan. First, I’m going to work my ass off to get our friendship back on track. Once my sight is good enough for me to see clearly enough to function on my own, I’ll pursue her with everything I have.
With a little luck, we might be together by the end of the month. It’s a new year, and I have new hopes.
Becoming independent and getting Fallon back being at the top of the list.
It’s getting late, and there’s no sign of Fallon and Hana.
“Kao, dinner is here,” Noah calls from the kitchen.
It’s weird moving around. I thought it would be easier with my sight getting better, but I find myself still counting the paces because I can’t see the smaller pieces of furniture.
I walk down the hallway and finding a chair, I’m careful as I sit down. “What are we eating?”
“Cheeseburgers and fries,” Noah answers while taking two bottles of water from the fridge. He sets one down in front of me.
“Thanks.” Noah’s been sticking to burgers because I can make out what I’m eating then. Smaller foods like vegetables and steak, is still a challenge.
Defiant Heir Page 9
