by Taj63622
Chapter 11
There was scarcely any furniture in this house when she married into it twenty-eight years ago. The bari was struggling to accommodate its five members, and was nothing but broken walls, unstable roof, exposed to the dangers of monsoon water. When she looks at the roof today, she recalls those days when the tin roof would slide away with the heavy rainfall. In one particular monsoon season, her mother-in-law, having feared greatly for Shah’s health, advised her to make a temporary stay in her maternal home until her husband has not replaced the roof. She ended up staying the whole season while her husband struggled to equate enough money to construct a durable roof. It was upon Shah’s earning that she could afford the many improvements to the house. It has taken a period of ten years to get the house in this presentable state. Despite the distance, Shah has always obliged dutifully as a son. He always sent money home, right from getting his first job as a part-time worker at a supermarket. To provide for his family, he has mercilessly sacrificed his adolescence and childhood. At one point, he took up a night shift position so to prevent work conflicting with his study. He was four years old when he separated from her, while Sabina was scarcely three months of age. The children had lost their father about that age too.
The pain of separation is still very raw, and would renew every time her son would bid his leave for London after his visit home. She has pacified her heart several times, but it was unheeding. It was not only she, who has missed the opportunity to see her son grow up from a child to a man, but circumstances has also deprived Shah to be around the warmth of his family. Regardless of having his own relations, he has lived like an orphan. Yet, it was a better life than he could have ever obtained here.
She was not of low birth. She was from a family who could make ends meet without much difficulty. She was the youngest of four siblings and the only daughter. Her parents and two eldest brothers have since passed away. Her younger brother alone bears witness today to her hardships as a single parent.
It was not the custom, but her marriage was a love marriage. She was only seventeen when she married Moyej. They grew up together in the same neighbourhood, but where she was from a financially stable family, he belonged to an impoverished household. As children, they were inseparable, a notion that was unlikely to change in the coming of adulthood. Feeling threatened on learning her parents’ wish to get her married, he confessed his love, and expressed his wish to marry her. In witness of his poverty, her parents declined his proposal, but he seemed too determined against defeat. His parents, and even the Mullah, could not do much either to convert his madness, the worst of which surfaced when he slit his wrist. The news spread throughout the whole neighbourhood, eventually reducing her parents to concede. At least they were in the reassurance that their daughter will not stray far from their sight.
There is an old proverb, that one who marries for love alone will have bad days but good nights. Love does not feed the stomach. Thankfully, marriage had imparted within her husband a sense of responsibility. He got a job at a local cotton factory in Upashahar, where his father was also a worker. It was a decent earning, but when she had Shah, suddenly that income looked inadequate to provide for his whole family. He also had the shared responsibility of getting his younger sister married. He and his father started working overtime to provide for the family sufficiently. It was nearing eight in the evening one day, when neither her father-in-law nor husband had returned from work. That night, her two-month-old Sabina was also reluctant to sleep. Growing worried, her two eldest brothers had volunteered to visit the factory to check whether work had detained them. The factory at Upashahar was across the river, and it was by the river that her brother learnt the cause of her husband and father-in-law’s delay home. The boatmen said a fire had broken out at a factory. Not many had survived.
Her husband and father-in-law were two of the seventy-six victims that could not escape the blaze. At aged twenty-two, she became a widow, and the mother of two fatherless children. She sank in the lowest despair, fearing for her children’s future. Her life looked bleak. With no male earners, her parents and brothers’ generosity had kept her household running. But it conflicted greatly with her two sister-in-laws. The amount their husbands should be saving for their own children’s future, they were spending it instead on their sister and her in-laws. Consequently, a huge argument broke out, where her sister-in-laws threatened to leave and stay at their maternal home until their husbands decide where their priorities lay.
‘Amma?’ Shah calls. His mother startles at his voice.
He has been sitting beside his mother on the bed for some time now, massaging her legs. He enquires after her lost thoughts.
‘I wish your father was here to see Sabina get married,’ she says in a whisper.’
Some sorrows cannot heal regardless of time’s generous prescription. He does not remember much about his father. All he can recall is his mother’s plain white sari and red swollen eyes as she mourned her husband’s sudden death. He took these images with him to England. With age, he became more understanding to the reasons he divided from his family. It was the very argument, which threatened to scatter the members of his mother’s maternal home that reduced her to better her children’s life another way.
To keep her home secure, she cannot break her brothers’ family. She had no complaints towards her two sister-in-laws' behaviour. Every mother wants the best for her child, and certainly did not want to jeopardise her child's future by having another claim right on her child's entitlement. She resisted against their financial assistance, and made peace with whatever allowance the government provided her and her mother-in-law. The widow's entitlement was not generous. With two growing children, she often found money leaving her untouched. How she wished to be born a man. Women of respectable families do not work outside. Among the inferiority of her sex, she was also a widow. It was impossible for her to seek employment. Her hardship did not escape her uncle's view. Her state of poverty was unlikely to improve without a huge sacrifice.
It was on the suggestion of her maternal uncle that she sent Shah to London. Her uncle's son immigrated to London some years ago. He worked at a restaurant. He was married, and had two children. If they legally adopt Shah as their child, then the government can grant Shah Entry to the UK. She thought a great deal about the proposition. Shah was her only son. The thought of living separately from him invoked great fear within her, but her uncle advised her to think beyond an affectionate mother. The prospect of prosperity in the country is bitterly low. Education is poor and good education was only for the very fortunate. She wanted a good future for her children. She wanted her son to benefit from a good education that her widow's allowance cannot provide. If it were in her power, then she would have sent Sabina along with Shah. But society believed it was insensible to exhaust funds into a girl's education, when her ultimate achievement is merely to marry. Shah was her only hope to improve his family's situation. The practice of sending sons to foreign cities in the hope of earning an income for their family was common in the country. Her cousin brother was one such earner. She had consoled her heart. Six months later, the Dhaka High Commission granted Shah Entry to the UK. The reason that she was financially incompetent to provide for two children made the process easier. Her cousin brother and his wife became Shah's legal guardian, and she became that unfortunate mother who must part from her son.
He was not the only son of Bangladesh who bore a separation from his family to earn a living. Indeed, such became his case that in the eyes of the law that he could not refer to his birth mother as his mother. There are many children in the country, who suffer the same fate as his. Poverty and lack of education is such that betterment is impossible. Society teaches boys the value of money and girls the importance of marriage. Suddenly, he became his mother only hope. She depended on him. His responsibility towards his family had trampled the carelessness of childhood. His mother sent him to England for a purpose. He needed to make his se
paration from his country worth her tears. He studied to deserve her praise. He worked harder to better her circumstance. Despite being under the good care of his aunt and uncle, his heart pined for his mother and sister, whose face he could scarcely remember. He sacrificed his youth to working. He took up night shifts so to study during the day. Achieving top grades and securing a position within a firm that could nourish his ambition as an architect, was merely a reflection of his desire to make his mother proud. She is proud, but at the cost of losing her child and depriving a sister of her brother. It was the common story of the country. Parents are no less willing to barter their daughters in the hope that she may settle into a western country. The parents of a British-Bengali man bring the proposal of marriage to a girl scarcely of age or understanding. The girl’s parents accept the proposal instantly. They do not root around to check the groom’s character or his credibility as a husband. The fortune of sending their daughter to London or America blinds them so shamelessly that they do not want to investigate the groom’s family. There have been many instances, when such girls have called their parents to voice their unhappiness. Some come to discover that their British husband have bad habits of drugs or have a criminal record, while others learn that their husbands have girlfriends. Some even have been subject to domestic violence and abuse. Few such cases have ended in divorce, but the likelihood of her marrying again is rare.
She need not stray far to see the blinding attraction of a British-Bengali. Her son has also been a target of many families, who have a daughter of marriageable age. Countless times, she has given the excuse of getting her daughter married first before Shah can settle down. But see the irony of Fate, that her daughter’s marriage has attracted an advantageous proposal for Shah. The paternal aunt of Sabina’s husband has sought Shah’s hand in marriage for her eldest daughter. She could not refuse. She did not want to endanger her own daughter’s happiness. She accepted without seeking her son’s consent. He is unaware of these proceedings, and of Shabul Hussain’s hope to work in London.
He has been away from his country for over twenty years, but every time he comes to visit, he hears the same news or witnesses the same story. The country has remained unchanged. Had he not been a resident in London, then he would have easily believed the customs to be the norm. But he has seen the two worlds very closely. The lack of opportunity here makes the allure of residing in the west too appealing for both girls and boys. Parents consider daughters as burdens, terminating their education as soon as she shows the features of becoming a woman. She must be married at her parents’ earliest convenience, whereas sons are believed to be the valuable source of income. Education alone can eradicate such deplorable thoughts. People here are in desperate to improve their minds. The country needs both men and women to run the economy. The government is not doing enough to establish the virtues of education, or closing the gender gap. There are jobs, but they do not go to the skilled worker. If there are educated employees, then there are not enough jobs. Education is devalued. Until there is not one brave enough to challenge such degrading thoughts, a mother will keep consoling her heart on losing her son, a daughter will have to take the risk of accepting a non-resident Bangladeshi suitor her parents chose, and a son will forever sacrifice his childhood to earn an income and provide for his family. He was not bereft of hope. Amongst them, there is one, who had the courage to leave the improved and seek betterment here.
