Serena moved over and looked at her mother. She’d aged well—although that hadn’t been a completely natural process. Still, she wasn’t one who clung to the illusion of youth at all costs. And she and Dad seemed happy enough, especially for a Hollywood marriage. “What’s up? You hate the beach.”
“I do. But I know you come down here when you’re sulking, and I wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“Oh, please. That’s exactly what you’re doing. I’m not sure why, not when everything in your world is on the upswing—what with the movie and that nice young man. Yet here you sit when you should be at the airport doing whatever it takes to get on an earlier flight so you have more time to spend with him before heading back here on Monday.”
“Are you asking me to leave?”
“No, honey, I’m asking you to live. I don’t know what happened. All I know is that you left in July looking like a woman in love and you came back in August with practically the same expression you had when you realized Derrick hadn’t made it.”
“I haven’t been that bad.”
“You’re not the one looking at you.” Serena’s mother patted her leg. “I gave you your space hoping it would help, but I can’t let it go on. Not when you’re sitting out here on the beach instead of getting on a plane like you planned. Whatever happened, you need to face it. Deal with it. Hiding from things just makes them worse. Your flight leaves in four hours. I’ve got a car coming to get you in about ninety minutes. I’ll pack for you if that’s what it takes, but I suspect you’d rather take care of that yourself.”
“Mom.” Serena’s stomach dropped into her toes. “Why would you do this?”
“Because I know I haven’t always been the mother you needed, or deserved. These last five years though, I’ve seen the woman you can be. Maybe it’s maturity, maybe it’s your Jesus thing. But whatever it is, I don’t want to see you lose yourself again. Nor do I want you to lose Micah—I like him. He’s good for you. Steady. Solid. And desperately in love.”
Serena’s eyes filled. “I love him, too, but I can’t be what he needs. It isn’t fair to let him think I can.”
“I think maybe that’s for him to decide. Or for the two of you to decide together.” Her mother tilted her head. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Serena shook her head. “I just realized that he expects things from a relationship that I can’t give him.”
Her mother’s eyebrows winged up. “I thought he was just as religious as you were and into that whole ‘saving yourself for marriage’ thing.”
She closed her eyes. “Not those kind of things, Mom. His sister’s pregnant and he’s over the moon. When he looked at me, I could see it on his face. He’s picturing our life together, with kids running around our feet. You know I can’t...he deserves someone who can give him the things he wants—what he deserves.”
“And is that what you think your God is saying, too?”
Serena stared out across the waves, not seeing anything. Her prayer life had been choked off ever since she got back to L.A. It was as if her words bounced off the ceiling and plopped into a soggy pile at her feet. “He’s not saying much of anything right now.”
Her mother stood and brushed sand off the back of her pants. “Well, I don’t know a whole lot about religion, but maybe you should stop and think about why you can’t hear Him. Don’t be late. The next flight after yours is a red eye.”
Why did God feel so distant? She’d read a book when she was a new believer that assured her that God never moved away from His children. So if He hadn’t moved...had she?
* * *
Someone banged on the door to the pottery studio. Serena slowed the wheel and took her hands off the clay before she looked. Gloria. With a sigh, she stood and crossed to the door to unlock it. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. What’s up with you?” Gloria barreled in and paced across the studio. “You take a cab home from the airport last night and now, when you could be hanging out with Micah before the wedding you’re sitting here mucking around with clay.”
“I happen to like ‘mucking around with clay’ as you so tactfully put it. And I make the bulk of my living from it.” Or she used to. She could live off what she was making for the movie for quite some time. And it wasn’t as if she was a pauper to start out. So maybe the money wasn’t something to bring up.
Gloria shook her head. “Right. ‘Cause you need to earn a living.”
“You know what I meant. Anyway, Micah’s got to be going crazy with preparations for his twin’s big day. He doesn’t need me in the way.” Serena went back to the wheel and started it up again, squashing the little voice in her head that called her a liar.
Gloria crossed her arms. “He needs you there. The guy’s been missing you like crazy. He’s more excited about seeing you this weekend than his brother getting married.”
“You’re his spokesperson now?” She winced as the words left her mouth. She shouldn’t take it out on her friend. “Sorry.”
“I return to my previous question, what’s up with you?” Gloria perched on one of the work tables and pinned Serena with her gaze.
“It’s nothing.”
“Uh huh. You forget I’ve known you for five years. It’s going to be easier all around if you just tell me.” Gloria sighed. “Or if not me, somebody. Before it eats you up inside.”
It wasn’t eating her up. She was working through it. Mostly. “It’s complicated. And I guess I need to talk to Micah about it. I’m...just not sure I know where to start.”
“You should figure it out. Sooner than later. He’s worried about you. Even more now that he thinks you’re avoiding him.”
“Then why isn’t he here banging down my door?”
Gloria smirked. “Your door is still intact. And mostly because I talked him out of it—he does have stuff to do for the wedding. Maybe that was a mistake.”
Serena finished the body of the teapot she was making and stopped the pottery wheel. “No. No, it wasn’t. I don’t know what to do.”
“Talk to me.”
Serena sighed. Maybe Gloria would have something useful to add. Her mother’s advice still circled in her head, but she wasn’t sure how to take it. Could you get good advice from a non-believer? “Let me wash up. Go on in the house and put the kettle on. I’ll be there in a few.”
Gloria nodded before she left.
Serena focused on the cleanup and set the teapot body on a shelf wrapped in plastic. Why was she making something when she wouldn’t be around to fire it for a long time? She ought to just smash the thing and stick the clay back in storage. Maybe tomorrow.
Gloria had a steaming mug of tea and was curled on the couch flipping through the script Serena had left on the coffee table. She looked up when Serena walked in. “This is good. I see why you wanted to do it.”
“Right? And the rest of the cast is amazing. I’m not thrilled about being away from the studio for so long, but hopefully business will pick up again once I’m back.”
“You know it will. Especially now that everyone knows you’re not dead.” Gloria grinned. “Who’d pass up the chance at an original piece of art by Serena VanderMay? You’ll probably have to raise your prices to weed out the riffraff.”
Serena snorted and filled a mug with water from the kettle. She chose a bag of Darjeeling and dunked it in the water. “There’s a thought.”
“Is it the time away that’s worrying you? From what you said, the two of you worked out a pretty doable schedule for visits. I think you’ll be able to make it work.”
“It’s not the time, although that isn’t working in my favor, either.” Serena sighed and settled in the chair facing the couch. Toying with the string on her tea bag, she related the talk with her mom. “It isn’t fair to him. I can’t let him go on thinking that there’s a future with me and a big, happy family if he just waits long enough.”
“So, you’re just making that decision for him?”
/>
“You saw his face, Gloria. It’s the same decision he’ll make as soon as I work up the courage to tell him.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.” Gloria sipped her tea.
Maybe not, but she’d been let down for so much less so many times in the past. Not by Micah, that was true, but still. “I dunno. Can we talk about something else? How’s crime here in our little slice of the world?”
* * *
Serena smoothed a hand over her skirt as she got out of her car. The parking lot at Grace Fellowship was already filling. Had they invited the whole church to their ceremony? Malachi and Ursula were both pretty involved, so it made sense. Serena just hadn’t expected so many of them to take them up on the invite. She reached for the bowl she’d made them in July when she was finishing up her last batch of orders. Hopefully they’d like it. It wasn’t something off their registry that they could exchange...should she have gone that route?
“Serena!”
Heat spiked through her at Micah’s call and her heart leapt into her throat. Smiling, she increased her pace to meet him. The urge to be in his arms was overwhelming. “Micah.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m glad you could get away after all.”
“Me too.” She leaned back and studied his face. All of the questions and her decision to break things off faded as she looked at him. This man. How was she going to live without him? Was it really possible that he could still love her—still want her—when she told him the truth?
“I don’t have a lot of time, we’re almost ready to start seating people. But after? At the reception? You’re all mine. Promise?” He lowered his lips to hers.
Serena closed her eyes and leaned in. Maybe it wasn’t too good to be true after all. “I promise.”
He smiled and released her, reaching for her hand instead. “Come on, I’ll put you on the family row.”
The family row. Her heart stuttered in her chest. It’s what she wanted, but also what she feared. Would he—could he—still love her? She nodded. “Sounds perfect. Thanks.”
The decorations were simple but lovely. Pink and white roses in small bouquets lined the main aisle, larger arrangements of the same adorned the front where the bridal party would stand and Malachi and Ursula would exchange their vows.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Gloria, wearing a simple, pale blue linen suit, slid into a seat next to her. “Micah said it was okay for me to sit up here and keep you company, though I think you probably know a lot of the people here, too.”
There were familiar faces, certainly, but the number of people she’d say she really knew...that was much smaller. “You look amazing.”
Gloria shrugged. “I can clean up okay when the need arises.”
Serena snorted. “Understatement of the year. I suspect a certain groom’s brother will be unable to keep his eyes off you.”
“I’m going to use my amazing powers of deduction to see that verbal sally as an attempt to keep me from asking if you talked to Micah. And yet, I’m undeterred. Did you?”
“Not yet. After the wedding.”
“Reception?”
Serena shook her head. This wasn’t a conversation to have when other people were around, or when they were supposed to be celebrating someone else’s joy. “After.”
“Promise me.”
She sighed. It was a day for promises, apparently. “Yeah, okay.”
The music started. The gentle strains of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring played on an acoustic guitar. The pastor, Malachi, Jonah, and Micah filed in from the side. When they were in place, Corban escorted Ursula’s mother to the row across from them, then he and Ruth came to sit in the same row as Serena and Gloria. The song ended and, after a moment of quiet, the guitar started to play a simplified rendition of Bach’s Sheep May Safely Graze.
Ursula’s mother stood and the attendees followed suit, turning to watch as Ursula and her dad came down the aisle. Serena discreetly flipped her program over. Why hadn’t Ursula chosen some bridesmaids? Even if she didn’t have sisters, she surely had friends who would have stood up for her. Not that it mattered. Simple was lovely, and it reflected what she knew of both the bride and groom.
The pastor gestured for everyone to sit and the ceremony began. Serena found her gaze shifting toward Micah. He was handsome in the black suit and pale pink tie Ursula had chosen for all the men. Of course, he was handsome in jeans and a T-shirt. It wasn’t just his looks—though they were nothing to discount—every piece of him drew her. Micah turned and their gazes met. Love swamped her. Why had she ever thought she could just walk away?
19
Micah leaned over and signed to his brother below the table so no one could see. “You’re sure it’s okay if I do this?”
Malachi grinned and nodded.
“Ursula doesn’t mind?”
Malachi nudged his new bride with his elbow and jerked his head toward Micah.
“You’re going to do it now? Awesome.” Ursula beamed.
That was a pretty clear endorsement. He took a deep breath and patted the pocket of his suit jacket. The small bulge of the ring box was there, as it had been all afternoon. A tiny part of him still wondered if it was too soon. The original plan had been to wait until the movie was finished. But why wait when his decision wasn’t going to change? Serena was the woman for him—he’d been praying for clarity since the trip to L.A. and the peace he had about that couldn’t be denied. Micah swallowed. He could do this. He stood and gently tapped his spoon against his water goblet. “Could I get everyone’s attention?”
Gradually the conversation around the open-sided tent they’d erected near the barn quieted and everyone turned his way. Micah cleared his throat. “First off, I wanted to propose a toast to my twin brother and his new bride. Ursula, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my brother—well, other than being my twin of course.” He paused while people chuckled. “I’m looking forward to having you for a sister in the years ahead. And Malachi—I probably should take back all the teasing and grief I gave you about falling half in love with some person you played an online video game with. But I’m not going to because the two of you still play online together even when you’re sitting in the same room. Here’s to the bride and groom and their future together.”
Everyone applauded and drank.
Micah cleared his throat again. “Speaking of the future...weddings are a beautiful celebration of the love between a man and a woman and the covenant they make with God and each other, and I can’t think of a better time to start down that road than on the day when my brother reaches its culmination.”
Micah turned to Serena. Her eyes were wide, lips parted. He got down on one knee and reached into his pocket for the box. “Serena Johnson, would you do me the very great honor of agreeing to be my wife?”
“I...” Her gaze flicked around the room and her lips curved up. “Yes. Of course.”
While Micah slid the ring on her finger, people applauded. He leaned forward and brought his lips to hers. “I love you.”
Serena nodded, her cheeks turning a deep pink.
Why wasn’t she saying anything? Keeping hold of her hand, Micah resumed his seat and the M.C. announced that it was time for the new couple to cut their cake. Gloria, sitting on the other side of Serena, was leaning toward her, whispering intently, but Micah couldn’t catch the words. Maybe asking her in public had been a bad idea. Would she have preferred for him to do it when they were alone? That had been Ruth’s vote. But Micah had counted on her enjoying a little bit of the spotlight—he’d wanted to give her that and let her know he wasn’t worried about what anyone else thought. She’d said yes.
Why wouldn’t she meet his eyes?
* * *
Micah slowed as he approached the turn in to Serena’s house and muttered under his breath. A handful of cars had pulled off on either side of the road and people inside them had cameras with long, fat lenses poking
out of the windows. Why was it so much worse here than in L.A.? He turned in and parked, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Serena insisted that ignoring the photographers was the best course of action, but everything in him wanted to stomp out there and make it clear how unwelcome they were. They had no business here. Didn’t Serena deserve to be left alone?
Grinding his teeth together, he pushed open his door and sent a fulminating look in the direction of the cameras. This late at night, it was unlikely they could see anything, so there was no point picking a fight. No matter how satisfying it might be. Why were they here, staked out, when she was only on a break from filming for the weekend? Didn’t they have enough celebrities to stalk at home?
He grabbed the package he’d put together with reception leftovers off the passenger seat and strode toward the house, opting for the entrance off the deck rather than the front door. Serena was curled on the couch in the living room, staring at her hand. She jolted when he tapped on the glass.
“Come in.”
He pushed the door open and smiled. She’d lit candles all around the room. They gave everything a quiet, golden glow. “Sorry it took so long. Every time I thought we had it all cleaned up, we found another problem that needed to be dealt with.”
“It’s okay. It’s not that late.”
Micah settled next to her and slipped an arm around her shoulders. “I brought you something.”
“Another surprise?” She sounded wary.
Micah nodded and gestured for her to open the box. “It’s a better surprise than the reporters parked outside on the road. Do you want me to get them to leave? Or I can call Gloria?”
She shook her head and picked at the lid of the box. “There’s no point, that’ll just entice them to go hiking to see if they can find a better angle. At least with them out front I know where they are.”
Cookies & Candlelight Page 16
