by Tillie Cole
Romeo reached for my outstretched hand and brought it to his warm lips. “This isn’t me, believe me. If only you knew… All this belongs to my parents, not me. I’m just the same me and you’re just you, Romeo and Molly Juliet.” He cocked his head to the side. “C’mere.” He tugged on my arm.
I leaned on my front, supporting my upper body on my forearms. Rome stared up at me. “I can’t believe how beautiful you look with those lenses in. Your eyes are the strangest golden colour… I’m havin’ to try real hard to stop myself from touchin’ you the way I want to.”
I flushed red and brought my thumbnail to my lip. He watched every movement.
“You can touch me if you want to,” I said nervously.
His dark eyes sparkled with lust and his lids lowered. “Don’t play with fire, Shakespeare. It’s too much for a pretty little English girl to cope with.”
“What can I say…? I’m a risk taker.”
“Mol…” he threatened on a hiss.
I crawled slowly to his laid-out body, hands and knees crunching against the dried grass.
His eyes grew wild as I edged closer. “Mol…” His threat was harder this time. It didn’t stop me, though. He made me feel bold.
I reached his side and looked right down into the pools of his dark eyes, my rigid bonds of self-control snapping loose as I freefell into Rome’s dark and dangerous well.
Deft hands moved and smoothed along my bare thighs, up to the hemline of my green dress, inching to just below my panties. Rome’s calloused palms ran up and down my legs, gaining height with every stroke, and I leaned down, tentatively brushing my lips against his. Rome let me set the pace as I nipped at his mouth, running the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip.
I knew I was testing his boundaries, seeing how far Romeo would let me go. He groaned and pulled on the flesh of my thighs, widening them just a fraction, moving ever closer to my core. I pressed my mouth farther against his, but still not how he wanted it, torturing him in slow caresses. He let me play, tease, and seduce.
Feeling braver, I placed my flat palm on his chest and Rome jerked at the contact. My hands began their wander, at first in slow circles. Then I allowed my fingertips to creep down his thin shirt, over his tightening abs, stopping at the waistband of his jeans, my finger slipping just underneath, brushing against the tender skin.
In a flash of a second, Romeo’s hands bolted up to the tops of my thighs, gripping the inner muscles, and with a vicious growl, he wrenched my legs apart to straddle him, his hardness lying perfectly against my scolding centre.
My mouth broke from his and I struggled to catch my breath. Rome’s eyes were wild, his black irises melting to eradicate the chocolate brown, and I instantly knew I’d untapped some inner desire, snapped his self-restraint.
Warm hands snaked around my neck, and Rome’s soft mouth crushed to mine. His tongue plundered through the barrier of my lips, filling my mouth with his minty taste, and I let him. I utterly surrendered myself. I was completely taken, and at that moment, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
His hands moved from my hair, travelling to my throat and down to my bra-less breasts. Next, Rome’s palm ran across my sensitive nipple and massaged the hard flesh, my hips rocking back and forth in reaction. His tongue wrapped around mine, and his groans of want grew more desperate.
With a final rough caress, Rome’s hand left my breast and landed at the bottom of my short dress, slipping under to the edge of my black cotton panties. I was almost crazy with need, and he smirked as he drew back and studied my lust-filled golden eyes.
“Romeo…” I moaned and closed my eyes in frustration. I needed him so much.
“Mol… I… I…”
My eyes snapped opened and pierced his. “Please…” I begged, desperate to feel him touch me, really touch me.
“Mol… God… you’re making me fuckin’ crazy…” I could tell he was trying to control himself.
“Rome… now!” I practically screamed.
His fingers wrenched the material of my panties aside, ran along my seam, and as he smashed his lips back to mine, he immediately pushed his long middle finger inside me, stroking gently, my breath stuttering with every advance.
“Don’t ever tell me what to do.” Romeo bent his fingers, tugging forward, causing me to convulse. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes. Yes,” I said quickly. I loved the way he controlled me, and my body hummed with satisfaction at every order.
Romeo moved to get into a better position, my head rolling back at the indescribable sensations currently shattering all my defences. I hooked my left arm around his neck as he branded me his with his eager and pulsing hand. I needed to please him too. I wanted to, so I reached down to snap the button on his jeans, trailing the tab of the zipper down with a suggestive bite of my lip.
Romeo froze. “Mol, no, you don’t—”
“Let me take care of you. Let me give you what you need. Please…”
Rome’s cocoa eyes clenched shut as I took his large warmth in my hand and stroked him softly. He expelled harsh breaths with every pump. Our movements increased as we both searched for release, and I shifted on his lap as delicious tension began to build within me. Unable to focus, I pressed my forehead against his and moaned as he added another finger.
“Ah, Romeo… I…” I had no words.
Rome’s toned hips thrust furiously into my hand. “Let go, Mol… fuckin’ let go,” he growled, and with a final stroke, I broke apart, his mouth clashing against mine to consume my moans. His hand didn’t stop its rhythm and drained every ounce of pleasure from my flustered body writhing on top of his.
I continued to stroke him and with a guttural grunt, he tilted his hips to the side and came in long, hard bursts, spilling himself onto the grass.
As we both gradually slowed our movements to a stop, I wrapped both arms around his neck, and our combined breaths mingled in the small space, Rome’s hand still pressed intimately against me.
Romeo’s fingers stroked leisurely along my sex and I mewled against his cheek as he nibbled the skin in the crook of my neck. I lifted my head and leaned back so I could look into his deep-brown eyes.
“Hey, Mol,” he croaked, his chest still erratic from his release.
I blushed. “Hey, you.”
“You okay?” he asked, searching my eyes for something. I wasn’t sure what.
I lowered my gaze and nodded. “More than okay.”
“Look at me,” he instructed sternly.
I complied eagerly.
“You liked that? You liked how I spoke to you, how I ordered you?” He seemed nervous, out of sorts, as though he expected me to be angry.
I did like it. I had little experience with sex, but the way he commanded me stirred something within me. It made me feel liberated on some unknown level.
“Mol, you did like it… didn’t you?” Vulnerability affected the usual hardness of his voice.
“I did, Romeo. I-I didn’t know that I’d like it… like that… but… I think we both know I did.”
A small smile transformed his normally hardened features and he took my hand and ran it across his ribs. “Are they all there?”
I frowned. “What?”
“My ribs. Is there one missin’?”
My hand smoothed up and down his sides. “Okay, I think you’ve lost it. You think you’re missing a rib?”
He exhaled a quiet laugh. “Just thought God took one of mine when he made you.”
Although he was playing, his words made me melt inside. “Romeo. At times you’re really sweet, you know that?”
He winked. “Only for you.”
I kissed the palm of his hand, reflecting on what just happened. It confused me how right it felt—his orders, demands, instructions—but I didn’t want more than that. I could relinquish control to Romeo, but not delve into darker territories.
“What you thinkin’?” Rome cupped my cheeks.
I chewed on my thumbnail. “When you say you like to or
der, just how far does that need to dominate go?”
He chuckled. “I’m not a sadist, so you can take that look off your pretty face. I just like to be in control… I don’t know… It’s how I am. There are some pretty shitty things in my life that I can’t have power over so I need it with the things I’m good at. I just need the assurance that I’m in charge. I’m a good QB ‘cause I like to lead, run the show. It’s the same with sex.”
It made sense; he needed control. Not in a sordid way, but as a necessity for his sanity.
“I liked how you took control. I’m so used to having to be independent and self-sufficient, always making the decisions, and I hate it. That felt… freeing to give myself over to you, to hand over the reins.”
A strange expression spread on his face, the fierceness of it knocking me back enough to lose balance. Romeo held me steady in his arms.
“You’re mine now, Mol. You know that, right? I’ve never had anyone respond to me like you do—every move, kiss, and stroke—full and complete surrender of yourself.” His fingers, still flat against my heat, picked up speed.
I sobbed out a cry and bit the nail of my thumb to hold back the screams. “Yes, I’m yours.”
Rome pulled my thumb into his hand. “You’re gonna make me crazy with that move, Mol. I’d rather put an object more satisfying there if you need somethin’ to play with.”
I expelled a small gasp. “I… I…”
“In time. Not yet,” he assured, somewhat amused.
My eyes rolled back. “Romeo… your hand…”
“Is going to satisfy you again. And I’m gonna watch you let loose. I’m gonna watch you unravel in my arms and I’m gonna love it, Mol. You get that? I’m gonna control your every desire,” he hissed through clenched teeth as his fingers plunged deeper inside me.
“Yes… Yes…”
And he did. He hit every note with perfection.
I shuddered as I let out a shrilled cry and slumped onto his chest. We lay that way for a long time and he eventually removed his hands from within me, zipped up his jeans, and pulled me to lie across his lap. I closed my eyes and dozed against his warm chest, enjoying the feel of his light caresses on my cheek, thoroughly exhausted.
I woke slowly as Romeo gently twisted me between his legs, laying my back flush against his chest. “The sun is settin’. I thought you might like to watch it go down with me.”
A surge of happiness burst from my heart. “I would like that.”
The sky was blood-red, the warmth from the sun casting a pink-hued tint and the big yellow sphere dropped down to a half circle, dimming the large creek in a smouldering golden glow.
Romeo’s breath scattered the air at my ear. “Tell me about your family, Mol.”
I flinched as the shards of panic stabbed at my chest, and I stiffened, trying to find some kind of relief. Romeo, on feeling my reaction, grasped my hand in his, folding me in his embrace. His warm, safe embrace.
“Tell me, Mol. Tell me about your family. Why are you filled with such pain?”
I took a fortifying breath and watched as the last few rebellious flares of the orange sun were dragged down to the horizon. “I don’t know where to start really.”
“The beginnin’. I want to know you, all of you, inside and out.” The reverence in his voice caused me to tremble.
“Okay.”
I shifted into a comfortable position, my head on his chest, hearing the comforting thud of his heart. “My mother died at my birth. I was her only child. She died through complications.” I squeezed my eyes shut, focusing on Rome’s hold, and opened them again to stare at the calm water of the creek, letting the still of the surface sooth me. “I’ve got her picture. I look just like her.”
“She was beautiful too, then?” he said as he kissed my exposed shoulder. I blossomed at his words and slouched farther against him.
“My father had no family except my grandma. She also lived with us. When I was six, my father died too.” I picked up a long blade of grass, running it between my fingers. “I remember it like it was yesterday. I came home from school and my grandma was upset and sat in the front room. She told me that my daddy had been taken to heaven.” I shook my head, laughing a humourless laugh. “At the time I thought I was being punished for being a bad child. It soon became clear that he hadn’t died of an illness or because God was punishing me, but that he got up as usual, saw me, his little girl, out of the door for school, got into the bath, and slit his wrists with a razorblade.”
Rome quietly exhaled behind me, his warm breath causing the hairs on the back of my neck to prickle. “Shit, baby. I didn’t think… I’m so sorry.”
The strength of his compassion enabled me to talk about that day for the first time ever—in depth—to anyone.
“I’ve never known how to handle what my father did. I understand that he couldn’t live without my mother, but he had me. I needed him. Why couldn’t he be strong for me? For Grandma? He said in his suicide letter that one day I would understand, but I don’t know how any father could leave his daughter all alone.”
I could feel myself growing increasingly annoyed, bitterness dripping from every memory. Rome remained a strong, silent support.
“The saving grace of this whole fucked-up situation, I suppose, was that I was always smart. When I was seven, my teacher admitted me for MENSA testing. I got in, learned I had an abnormally high IQ, and that’s how I coped with things—studying and gaining knowledge. I became obsessed with religion and philosophy, trying to find a reason for my daddy’s death, why bad things happen to good people. I never got the answer I was looking for. Then, just when I was getting a handle on my life, Grandma was diagnosed with cancer and for three slow months, I nursed her as she grew weaker by the day, only to eventually die in my arms, the two of us all alone in our small house with no one to turn to.”
I took a deep breath and watched as bird after bird returned to their nests near the creek to settle for the night.
“Then what?” Romeo pushed.
“I was put into care after she passed. Luckily, it was with a nice family close to my home. They weren’t very affectionate and were clearly in it for the money, but it was safe and I suppose that’s all you can ask for. I found life hard to cope with, and I distanced myself from everyone to avoid being hurt any more. I was lonely but just… kept going.
“Again, my studies kept me focused and I knew it was my ticket to get away from that foster home and all the memories that haunted me back in my hometown. I just needed to leave.”
Romeo dropped a soft kiss onto my bare shoulder.
“When I was seventeen, I passed my exams early, got into university a year young, and I was offered an advanced place at Oxford. I got my degree and came here. I’ll move somewhere else for my doctorate.”
Romeo released a sharp breath. “So you run.”
I stiffened and tried to shuffle away, distancing myself from being called out on my life strategy. Romeo just held on to me tighter. “Don’t struggle. Answer the question.”
“You have no idea what my life has been like! You don’t get to judge!”
His voice dropped to a commandingly low octave. “I’m not judgin’ you. But you run from your problems, don’t you?”
“So what? I don’t have a real home, no family. Why not?”
“That may have been true before, but now you have people who care for you, truly care for you. I won’t let you run away from me.”
Tears glossed my vision. Romeo’s words were such a comfort, and I wanted so badly to believe him.
“I won’t let you leave me,” he reiterated sternly.
Something within me broke and I cried, cried for the first time in years, placing my head in my hands. Romeo stroked my hair, refusing to release me from the safety of his arms, because that’s what he was—my safety… my peace.
When all my tears had been shed, he asked, “Why did you run from Oxford to here?”
I sighed in defeat, deciding
to just be honest. “Oliver wanted more from me. He stayed on to do his PhD and wanted to take things further. I didn’t—he knew nothing about me. I never told him.
“After we slept together, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I thought being intimate with him would help me get closer, that it would bring my walls crashing down. But all I felt was strangling disappointment. I thought I was unable to ever be close to another person again. In the end, I freaked. I ran. Simple. He woke up and I was gone. I haven’t spoken to him since.”
Crickets chirped louder as darkness fell and the wide blanket of stars began to twinkle in the crystal-clear sky. “That was until you. I’m close to you. I let you in. Maybe I’m not as damaged as I thought.”
I heard his loud swallow. “You’re not the only one who feels like splittin’ when times get rough, baby, but from now on, I won’t let you run anywhere if I’m not right there runnin’ beside you.”
I swerved my head towards his lips and he gently brushed his mouth against mine. When we broke away, I cupped his cheeks and asked, “Tell me about you.”
Romeo’s eyes iced over and he shrugged and looked away—there was only silent refusal from his stiff body.
A cold breeze suddenly snapped in the night air and goose pimples swept up my bare arms and legs. Romeo noticed. “We should go.”
I held him tighter. “I don’t want to leave yet. I want to know about you.”
He tilted his head in bewilderment. “I don’t wanna split either. But it’s gettin’ late and you’re gettin’ cold. Come on, baby. Time to call it a night.”
Rome helped me to my feet and took my hand as we strolled back to the truck, no further comment on his past.
Once we were in and coasting down the freeway, I noticed Romeo was deep in thought. I reached over and took his free hand. “You okay? You seem miles away.”
He swallowed as though nervous. I’d never seen him look so out of sorts before.
“Yeah.”
I wasn’t convinced. “You sure? You don’t look it.”
His fingers gripped mine as his eyes regarded me with uncertainty.
“Rome, what is it?” I pressed.
On a cough, he confessed, “I never knew before tonight what it felt like to be wanted… just me for me.”
