by Tillie Cole
I couldn’t help it. Tears flowed like a sweeping torrent from my eyes and Rome tucked his face into my neck, breathing through our combined pain. We held on to each other as if we were one another’s lifeline.
I could taste the bitter taste of salt dripping onto my lips and after several minutes of much needed closeness, Romeo lifted his head and a tranquil calm had settled in his shielded eyes.
“We don’t have to feel lonely anymore, baby. I have you and you me.”
“This is crazy, Romeo. We’ve known each other for such a short space of time, yet I feel as if I’ve known you my whole life.”
A smirk spread on his lips. “We’re star-crossed, Shakespeare. Fateful star-crossed lovers. We have a lifetime to get to know each other, unlike our namesakes. I’ll make sure we get our happily ever after.”
I drew him to my mouth with my hands on his flushed cheeks. He let me lead for a while before drawing back and playfully waggling his finger in front of my face to not push the boundaries of his controlling limits.
With a sudden roll, Romeo fell onto his back and I wrapped my arm across his stomach, my head lying comfortably on his chest.
“Mmm…” I mused.
“What, baby?” he asked, stroking my hair.
“Just how amazing it sounds to hear another heartbeat besides my own.”
“Mol…”
“Shhh… just… let me listen. It makes me incredibly… complete.”
Safe hands pressed my head tightly against his chest and I relaxed listening to the trance-inducing rhythm of his heart.
After several minutes of quiet, Romeo asked, “That quote on your hip, tell me about it.” I tensed and Romeo’s arms held me tighter. “I’ve got you, baby.”
“My…” I cleared my throat—thick with emotion. “My father quoted it in his suicide note. He used to say it to me at bedtime every night and I wanted something to remember him by, just so I can never forget him.”
I heard Romeo sigh quietly in sympathy, and then he asked, “Is it from memory?”
I nodded against his warm, bare skin. “Yeah. It’s well and truly imprinted there, but I still have the note.”
He shifted slightly. “You do?”
I lifted to my elbows, contemplating his nervous demeanour. I could see he had no idea what to say to me in response.
“Would you like to read it?”
He looked surprisingly scared. “Why?”
“Because no one but me and my grandma ever has. I’d like to share it with you. I find myself wanting to let you in more and more every day. It may help you understand some things… about me.”
“Okay,” he agreed with wide eyes.
I rose slowly from my bed and went to my closet. I took down the antique oak box that was tucked away on my top shelf and turned towards Rome, who was shamelessly admiring the view of my naked body.
I shook my head and laughed. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Just so you know. I’m gonna take you again tonight. Addicted, Shakespeare. I’m fuckin’ addicted.”
The usual tremors racked through my insides and I strolled back towards him. He tucked me into his body warmth and I opened the box, pulling out the worn, yellowing piece of paper protected by laminated plastic, and with shaky hands I gave it to Romeo, who began to read it studiously to himself.
Silence reigned strong and I decided on some space. I slipped on my newly purchased black knee-length silk robe and walked to my balcony, inhaling the crisp air deeply as the surrounding trees swayed gently in the evening breeze. No matter how often I read the letter, it hurt me every time, and I couldn’t help but recite each word in my head:
My little Molly-pops, this is the hardest letter I have ever had to write.
Firstly, I want you to know that I have loved you more than any daddy has ever loved his little girl since the very beginning of time. You’re the apple of my eye and the best thing I have ever done in my whole life.
I know that this is all too much for you to understand right now, but you will, in time. I want to explain why I have left you and I want you to know that it’s not because you did anything wrong.
I have loved many people in my life, but the way I loved your mother was beyond anything I can explain. The day you were born was both the saddest and happiest day of my life. The happiest as I got you, but the saddest as I lost the other half of my soul.
I was broken, Molly, and nobody but God could fix me.
One day, my sweet girl, some lucky young man will come and help you understand the very meaning of love. He will sweep you off your feet and show you what it is to place your heart in someone else’s care and to willingly offer them the gift of your soul—and he will own it completely. Make sure he is worth the treasure of your heart and do everything in your power to protect what you have together.
In the future, when you’re older and wiser, you may look back on my departure and have questions, insecurities, and blame me for abandoning you at such a young age—and for that I cannot offer anything that will give you peace. People may tell you I was selfish for leaving you behind, but I believe that it was more selfish to let you live with half a father.
Since your mammy passed, I have lived a sad and lonely life, you and Grandma being the only light in my darkness. I want you to know that I am at peace now and in the happiest place I can imagine—in the arms of your mammy for eternity.
Live life to the fullest, my darling girl, and one day, when God so wishes, I will be waiting to see you again at the gates of paradise, to once again have you jump into my open arms so I can twirl you around, tell you how pretty you are, and introduce you to your mother… who looks just like you.
“So are you to my thoughts as food to life, or as sweet seasoned showers are to the ground.” ~ William Shakespeare
I love you.
Daddy x
I knew Romeo had finished the letter when I felt him at my back, his body heat cutting through the thin barrier of silk. Laying a soft kiss on the nape of my neck, he carefully turned me in his arms and silently lifted me off my feet. His expression was unreadable as I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tightly to our new profound intimacy.
Romeo brought me wordlessly to my desk in the corner of the balcony and laid me down flat on the white tabletop, slipping open the knotted tie of my robe, the material falling to drape at my sides. His soft mouth kissed butterfly touches from my ankle to my thigh before wrapping them loosely around his waist. Bracing himself above me, Romeo slid forward, painstakingly slow, and made love to me. He rocked within me so gently, folding my hands within his, and we reached our release in unison, sighing mutely into the stillness of the night.
The soft stroke of Rome’s finger ran cherishingly down my cheek. “Thank you for showing me the letter, baby. Thank you for trusting me with knowing your past.”
I pecked kisses onto my favourite three freckles on his nose and the small white scar on his chin. “Take me to bed, Romeo.”
Doing as I asked, Romeo laid me under the covers as though I weighed no more than a feather, pulling me into his chest, and we fell into a blissful, sated sleep.
I was completely and hopelessly in love.
16
I accepted the final change on the Word document with an excited left click of the mouse. I had finally finished the last piece of research for Professor Ross’s periodical and felt a well-earned satisfied sense of accomplishment at the feat. My free time could now be spent with Romeo, not chained to the library desk.
I sat back in my balcony deck chair taking a much-needed break, breathing in the warm Tuscaloosa air, when I heard the telltale rustling on the trellis.
Romeo hopped over the balcony edge with a sullen expression and my heart dropped. He walked straight to me and, capturing my face in his hands, stole a long, sensual kiss. When he withdrew, his eyes were burning and I was breathless, but he simply sat beside me on the spare white chair.
“Still working hard I see.” He smiled, but i
t was strained.
“Yeah. Professor Ross was told this morning that we have a timeslot of when we need to present the paper in Oxford—we go in a few months. It’s a race against time to get it done now, but I’ve at least completed my part.”
Romeo edged forward on his seat, mouth tight. “You’re goin’ to England in a few months’ time? Since when?”
I twirled my pen between my fingers, meeting his eyes warily. “Since always. I’m assisting in the presentation. It’ll help immensely when choosing where to study for my PhD. If it’s well received, I could have my pick of grad schools.” I cocked my head in question. “Why?”
Romeo slumped back moodily. “I don’t want you to leave me, I’ll miss you too much. Plus, the championship game is ‘round then. I need you in the stands, watchin’ me. You have to be there for me to do well—good luck charm, remember. You don’t want thousands of Tide fans pissed at you.”
I shook my head in exasperation, moved over to sit on his lap, and he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, skimming his nose along my jawline.
“I’ll be back in time. I’d never miss the championship game if the Tide makes it there—can’t get between Bama folk and their football, now can I?”
He nipped my backside. “Oh, we’ll get there, baby. No doubt about that, and you will be sitting in the stands, supporting me, screaming my name—before, during, and after the game.”
I leaned down and kissed his soft lips with a giggle. When I retreated, the same sullen expression fell across his features.
I stroked his unshaven cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Taking a long, deep breath, he said, “One guess.”
“Parents?”
“Bingo.”
“What now?” I asked, dreading the response.
“They want to meet you. They’ve invited us to dinner tomorrow night. They’re notchin’ up their tactics.”
I recoiled in shock. “Really? I never thought they’d want to meet me… ever.”
“Me either.”
I sucked in a hiss at the sting. Romeo grasped my arm. “Hey. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelin’s, but they’re not happy about us, Mol. They’ve made no secret about that.”
I cuddled back into his chest. “I know. It just sucks.”
“I’m tellin’ them no.”
I jolted upright. “No. Screw it, let’s go. Show them how good we are together. By seeing us, it might help them understand.”
Romeo pulled an incredulous look. “They won’t understand and I won’t have them attack you. I’ve coped with it for years; I’m not watchin’ you take the same treatment. You’ve seen my daddy in action. He doesn’t tolerate disobedience. My momma’s vindictive and cruel. Why do you wanna officially meet people like that?”
“I want to bridge the gap for your sake.” His expression softened and he kissed the back of my hand.
I smoothed his long hair from his face. “Are you ever going to tell me the real history with you and your parents? Warts and all?”
Romeo’s snapped his head back as though I’d scolded him. “We ain’t goin’ there. I’m just a huge disappointment to them. The finer details don’t matter.”
“You know everything about me—my father, my life. Let me in,” I protested.
He stroked my arm resting against his. “I know you have. But… just leave it. Please.” I stopped persisting when his eyes clouded, shutting me out.
Romeo took a deep breath and confided, “They’ve gotten worse lately. Something’s goin’ on, but I have no idea what. They’ve always pushed me with Shelly in any way they could, but it’s like they’re desperate for me to marry her more than ever. My daddy was never this insistent until recently. Somethin’s definitely up; I just can’t work out what it could be. The phone calls have become almost twenty-four-seven.” His forehead wrinkled while deep in thought.
“I want to go.”
Romeo groaned dramatically. “It’s goin’ to be hell, don’t you get that? I can’t knowingly put you in that position. I know I don’t talk much about my past, but they’re not good people, Mol. I know that much. I’m a product of them, after all.”
“Don’t ever talk about yourself like that! You’re not cruel or abusive; you’re kind and so unbelievably caring, especially to me. Ring them and tell them we accept their invitation.”
He stood with me cradled in his arms and carried me to my bed, dumping me in the centre, and shed his sleeveless grey T-shirt. “Fine, we’ll go, but you need to get naked now and persuade me on why I should willingly let you into the lions’ den.”
“I get naked for you all the time. You’re just looking for an excuse.”
His jeans dropped and I swallowed loudly at his bare, delicious body. “You’re not naked, Shakespeare. Do it or be sorry,” he threatened.
I did as instructed. I brought my dress over my head and I immediately felt his mouth latch onto my breast.
“We’ll go, but cancel the rest of your day. I’m gonna need a lot of convincin’ that this isn’t a huge fuckin’ disaster waitin’ to happen… a lot.”
* * *
A few hours later, after Romeo had gone to football practice, I knocked on Ally’s door.
“Yeah?”
“Ally, it’s me. Can I come in?”
The door opened to Ally’s beautiful face, and on her bed were Cass and Lexi. I waved as I walked in. “Hey, what’s all this? Why wasn’t I invited?” I asked playfully, but at the same time meant it. Our foursome was pretty inseparable and I loved that I had such good friends now. Real, authentic friends, but I was a bit peeved that I’d been excluded from their little gathering.
Cass kneeled up on the bed and straddled the quilt, threw her head back and rocked her hips repeatedly. “Ah… Romeo… ugh… shit… I’m… I’m… ROMEO!”
Lexi scampered behind her, slapping her arse and pushing forward, imitating doggie style. “Do you like it, Mol? TELL me you like it! Fuck… yeah!” she screamed.
I threw my hands over my face to hide my complete mortification, and they all broke out in fits of giggles.
Cass piped up first. “We did knock on your door, darlin’, but after the animal noises we heard coming from y’all, we thought we’d leave you to it. Sounded like some fuckin’ hot sex!”
Ally put her arm around my neck and kissed my head. “Ignore these two. But just so you know, the walls in this place are real thin, and although I’m your friend, Rome’s my cousin and I never wanna hear him doin’ things like that!”
Lexi snorted she was laughing so hard, rolling around on the bed, holding her stomach.
I contemplated running. As I turned for the door, Cass dived off the bed, threw me over her shoulder, and dropped me down amongst the sea of throw pillows, tutting and shaking her head. “We’re messin’ with you, Molls. We’re all getting some… It just seems you’re getting more than others.” She winked and popped her finger in her mouth… phallically.
“Please can we not talk about this?” I whispered and then chewed on my lip to the point that I tasted blood.
“Leave her alone, guys.” Ally sat on the end of the bed. Cass and Lexi sprawled on either side of me.
“What’s up, nympho?” Cass lilted, flicking her tongue against her teeth suggestively. I couldn’t help but crack a smile.
I slapped her on her arm and faced Ally. “Romeo’s parents have invited us to dinner tomorrow. They want to meet me… officially.”
Ally rubbed at her forehead, complete desolation on her face. “Shit!”
Not the reaction I wanted.
“Romeo didn’t want me to go, but I think it’ll be a good thing, don’t you? You know… improve relations between us.”
“It won’t.” Ally stressed. “Mol, they’re not good people, you’ve seen a little of what they’re capable of. Do yourself a favour and back out. Don’t go. Be happy with Rome without their interference.”
“Jimmy-Don told me they’re real hard work, girl. You and Rome are good. Don�
��t spoil it,” Cass said seriously, tapping my hand.
“I’ll have to meet them eventually. Why not now?”
Ally jumped up and began to pace. “Because you invite them in and they’ll make sure they get you right out!” She walked over and squished herself beside me. “This stays in this room, right?” She stared pointedly at Cass and Lexi, who nodded in agreement.
Her fingers pushed at her temples and her face morphed into an expression of deep anguish. “I never wanted you to hear this from me. I don’t believe it’s my place, but I feel this will help you decide the best thing for you both in meeting the famed Prince tycoons!”
I swallowed in apprehension.
“I’ve never known parents could hate their child, you know? Folks are meant to idolise their kids, but they don’t. They hate him somethin’ fierce. He never does things right in their eyes.
“When he was a kid, he’d make a silly mistake like dirtying his clothes or displease them in some stupid way, and his daddy would go completely crazy at him, give him the belt, and put him in his room. They’d hit him. A lot. He’d be grounded for weeks, on his own for weeks—a tiny little kid isolated and told how much he was disliked, over and over until he just seemed to go numb, reverted in on himself. My daddy has never forgiven himself for what Rome had been going through and none of us knew just how much.
“My folks and I moved to Birmingham when I was real young, so I only saw him on occasion, but every visit he looked worse and worse. Anyway, that kinda treatment lasted right until he came to college, but their claws are still firmly in. He can’t break free. It’s been a tough life for him, and if he don’t marry friggin’ Shelly Blair, well…” She trailed off, eyes shining.
Gathering her composure, she held my hand, pleading with me. “You, Molly Shakespeare, are a big ol’ fork in their road. You going to dinner, I guarantee, is not a get-to-know-you. If I’m right, it’s a chance to get you gone from his life… permanently. They’re bad, bad people. Don’t go, promise me. Don’t put Rome through it. He needs you more than I think you realise.”
