by Tara Brent
“Being rejected by her was one thing, but having my sister snag her out from my grasp is another.”
“She was never in your grasp!”
Their server cleared his throat. “So, check then…?”
“YES!” both Moreaus snapped, slamming the table hard with both fists. The server’s eyes went wide and he scurried away.
Harper sighed once the server left. “Hayden, listen, at least let her settle in first, okay? This is going to be a tough transition for her as it is. Adding a relationship with her boss to the mix? It’s just not the right time. Now I know you’re not accustomed to not getting what you want, but that’s just how it has to go this time.”
Hayden scowled. “Fine. Then you pick up the check.”
“What, Mr. Billionaire Badass pinching pennies all of a sudden?”
Harper snatched the check from the server, slapped a wad of cash on top of it, and stood. “35 percent tip,” she said, just before pulling down one of her eyelids and sticking her tongue out at Hayden.
“Real cute,” he said, annoyed.
“Steer clear of Emiko for now, Hayden. If you don’t, so help me god I will rim her so good that she’ll never bother with another man again.”
“Is she bi too?” Hayden asked, shocked.
Harper shrugged. “Not yet.” And with that, she sauntered off.
Chapter 5
“Tomorrow’s your big day!”
“Thanks, Mom,” said Emiko.
“So to celebrate,” said her dad, “we got your favorite!”
Her parents revealed a dome-shaped cake with layers of sponge cake, raspberry jam, pastry cream, whipped cream, and covered with a dodger-blue marzipan coating. In white letters, it read “Congratulations on Breaking a Glass Ceiling!”
“Aww, you got me Princess Cake! Thank you both so much.”
Her parents had always been supportive of her. Her mother’s second-hand political aspirations aside, they recognized that Emiko was about to embark on something special. Following her cake with a modest glass of pinot noir, she went to bed smiling.
***
Emiko awoke with a start upon hearing her phone vibrate. “Ugh… dream logic…” she murmured, annoyed with the insanity of her dream.
She felt around in the dark and finally found her iPhone. There was a text from a number she didn’t recognize. Curious, she opened it. It read: “Hey you’re probably out cold by now (if so, good morning!) but regardless, just wanted to wish you luck on tomorrow’s game!”
She fumbled out a reply: “Thank you! Sorry, who is this?”
She waited a moment before her phone buzzed yet again: “Hayden. Did I forget to give you my number?”
Emiko’s heart did a somersault. She replied: “In your defense, I never asked for it”
Hayden: “Are you being saucy with me?”
Emiko: “Maybe a little. Whatcha gonna do about it?”
Hayden: “Not sure, but I am your boss”
Emiko: “Well Mr. Boss-man you know I have a pretty big day tomorrow”
Hayden: “I never said you had to reply. In fact, I thought you’d be responsible enough to be asleep with your phone off by now”
Emiko: “Are you questioning my sense of responsibility?”
Hayden: “Should I?”
Emiko: “Nah, you’re good. I wouldn’t have replied for anybody else”
Hayden: “Is that so?”
Emiko: “Yeah”
Hayden: “Well either way, I should let you get some shut-eye. Sleep well, Emiko”
Emiko: “Sweet dreams Hayden”
Hayden: “If you’re the last thing on my mind before I pass out, my dreams are sure to be more than just sweet”
Emiko: “Omg stop! You’re so bad”
Hayden: “I’ve been told that’s one of my best qualities?”
Emiko: “Who told you that, one of your floozies from Whores-R-Us?”
Hayden: “That’s… not a real place… Right?”
Emiko: “You totally stole that comeback from Archer”
Hayden: “Did not! In Archer, the joke was ‘Whore Island.’”
Emiko: “You’re right. That’s totally different. I don’t know what I was thinking. Could you ever forgive me oh great one?”
Hayden: “That depends on how you treat me in my dream ;)”
Emiko: “Oh GOD you’re terrible”
Hayden: “Guilty as charged”
Emiko: “You know you actually just woke me up from a dream about you”
Hayden: “Wait seriously?”
Emiko: “Oh yeah.”
Hayden: “Was it hot?”
Emiko: “Hot how?”
Hayden: “You know exactly hot how”
Emiko: “That depends”
Hayden: “On?”
Emiko: “On whether you striking out over and over and over again gets your juices flowing”
Hayden: “Oof. You’re mean.”
Emiko: “Don’t blame me it was just a dream!”
Hayden: “So explain this dream of yours to me?”
Emiko: “Basically, I was announcing the game but you were every batter…”
Hayden: “Yuh-huh…”
Emiko: “It wasn’t the same ‘you’ every time though. Some were similar to how you are now, others like how you were back as a teen, other still from various stages of your Dodgers career.”
Hayden: “Okay, weird, but go on”
Emiko: “Every time you came to the plate, you managed to get out. Mostly strikeouts, but you put the ball in play a lot too. Almost hit a home run but the outfielder swiped it.”
Hayden: “This dream sucks”
Emiko: “I haven’t told you the best part though”
Hayden: “does it finally get sexy?”
Emiko: “You wish. No, so you know how you were every batter and you got out every time? One time you managed to ground into a double-play”
Hayden: “That doesn’t make any sense!”
Emiko: “Dream logic.”
Hayden: “Haha”
Emiko: “I love how we are totally fine with millions of your clones being shitty hitters but we draw the line at you hitting into a double-play with nobody on base”
Hayden: “Well anything is more logical than me being bad at baseball”
Emiko: “Yeah maybe next time I’ll dream about something super out there, like you being humble for ten seconds”
Hayden: “If that happens you need to see a shrink cuz that shit be REALLY cray”
Emiko: “Haha! At least you KNOW you’re a cocky bastard”
Hayden: “Nobody ever accused me of dishonesty”
Emiko: “True enough. On that note though, I think it’s sleepy times for me. Big day tomorrow and all that. Good night for real this time.”
Hayden: “Sleep well, Emiko. You’re gonna crush tomorrow. I know it.”
Emiko put her phone on airplane mode and fell asleep with a massive grin plastered across her face.
Chapter 6
“You killed it,” said Harper, utterly triumphant. “You absolutely killed it!”
“I did fine,” said Emiko, though pride glowed throughout her being. “It was nothing special.”
“Yes, it damn was! You were crisp, articulate, and precise, you shared good insights, you so obviously knew your shit. It was amazing. You just sounded so completely at-ease!”
“Hopefully others agree,” said Emiko.
“Having haterz means you made it,” pointed out Harper.
“I’ll drink to that,” smirked Hayden.
They were seated in a bar that was about ten minutes north of Ebbets Field called “Butter & Scotch.” Beyond its proximity to the field, they met there since the theme that month was “A League of Our Own” celebrating both sports and the quote “badass women who dominate them.” It seemed appropriate. Emiko was finishing up a “Serena” (Krogstad Aquavit, peach liqueur, lychee liqueur, Coco Lopez, and lime) while Harper was guzzling her final sips of a �
�Venus” (Aloo Vodka, Aperol, cantaloupe purée, orange, and grapefruit).
“I’m game for another round,” said Emiko. “You?”
“Hey we’re celebrating right?” said Harper, who got the bartender’s attention. “We’re going to mix things up. I’ll have, hmm, a Lola Bunny, and for her, how about the Ms. Yamaguchi? Oh! And two Dick Pics.”
Emiko nearly spat out the last sip of her drink. “What did you just ask for?”
“Cool your tits Emi,” said Harper, chuckling. “It’s one of their house shots. Dickel rye with a house-made pickle brine chaser. Basically just a pickle back.”
“Do you even like pickle juice? Or Rye?”
“No, but seeing your reaction when I ordered a pair of dick pics was pretty priceless.”
“Here we are ladies,” the bartender said. “Enjoy your dick pics!”
“Oh you know we will,” said Harper. She raised both of her glasses and gestured for Emiko to do the same. “On three! One, two…” she threw her shot back. Emiko, surprised, followed quickly. They both coughed on the fiery rye and gave each other dirty looks.
“I said on three!” said Harper.
“I know! You went after two!” snapped Emiko.
“Yeah because it was on three, not after three! Whatever, pickle juice time!” They threw those shots back too.
“Okay, that may have killed the rye, but…”
“Yeah, it was gross.” Harper agreed. “Chase our chase with more booze?”
“Right on,” said Emiko. “To badass women in sports,” she said, raising her glass.
“To the badass woman announcing our favorite sport,” retorted Harper. They clinked glasses and took a swig.
“So, did you get me the Ms. Yamaguchi because I’m Japanese?” asked Emiko.
“Duh,” said Harper. “Just like how I got the Lola Bunny since I’m descended from a sexy lady-bunny who once played alongside Michael Jordan!”
“Hardy-har,” said Emiko. “It’s funny, that’s the second time Looney Tunes came up for me lately.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. When I was out with Hayden—”
“Oh, here we go…”
“—I ordered a rabbit appetizer and a duck entree.”
“Heh… Bugs then Daffy.”
“Wabbit season, duck season.”
“Very cute. By the way, is that still a thing?”
“We’re not dating,” Emiko said flatly.
“Good,” said Harper.
“But we did text for a bit last night.”
“Oh good god.”
“It was innocent! Mostly.”
“Mostly?!”
“Yes! Like sure he flirted for sure and I told him about this dream I had about him—”
“EMIKO LINDBERG!”
“Settle down! It wasn’t that kind of dream!”
Harper rubbed her temples. “All right. I’m out. I’m putting an official moratorium on you talking about my brother when I’m around. And I’m sure as shit not going to let him talk about you around me. We just end up fighting. But I’ll warn you a final time not to shit where you eat.”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry. I’ll even get another boyfriend if it means putting him off for the time being.” Emiko paused. “Though, your brother is a phenomenal kisser…”
“What the…?! Oh for… BARTENDER! DOUBLE SHOT OF TITO’S, STAT!!”
Chapter 7
It wasn’t until the next day that Emiko realized that the shit hit the fan. Frazzled by all of it, she marched her way toward Hayden’s office.
“He’s not there!” his secretary called over to Emiko as she knocked hard on his door.
Emiko glanced over at the secretary, who was conventionally beautiful albeit skinnier than Emiko found most men actually preferred. Still, her mind raced. Vulnerable as she was, she couldn’t help but wonder: Has he slept with her? Did he bang her in his office? Is she a threat? Who does this bitch even think she is with that tight dress! Look at that cleavage!
Pushing aside her impulse to dive across the room with her hands bound for the secretary’s throat, she composed herself. “Where might I find him?”
“He’s in the owner’s box,” she replied. “He likes to go in there to relax on occasion. He does not like to be disturbed when he goes there.”
“Oh, he doesn’t does he?”
“Not ordinarily. In fact, I never gave that information out until today. You were the exception.”
Emiko breathed in sharply. “Pardon?”
“He specifically told me that he was not to be disturbed unless you were the one looking for him. When you get there, knock three times, pause, and then knock four times, or he won’t answer.”
Emiko blushed. “Thank you,” she said, tartly, and marched off. Three and then four, she thought to herself. He seriously is obsessed with his own number, isn’t he?
She got to the owner’s box and took a breath, then knocked three times followed by four times. After a moment, Hayden promptly opened the door. “Emiko,” he said gently.
His kind gaze melted her. She fell into his arms “I thought I was ready but I wasn’t ready for this!” she cried out.
Hayden reached over her and closed the door firmly. “It’s okay,” he assured her. “It’s okay. Come in, we’ll talk.”
Miserable, Emiko followed him inside.
“So, I could guess what this is about,” he said slowly.
“Listen to these!” She pulled out her phone. “‘Why are they letting this bitch ruin the favorite part of my day?’ ‘Oh look at us we’re the Dodgers we have a black owner and a yellow announcer! give me a F$%*ing break!’ ‘It’s a sad state of America that I have to listen to this c*nt wo-man-splain a MAN’s game to us’ ‘The Rockies really screwed us over but this one isn’t even white like what the hell #whitemangenocide’ ‘She is so bad I turned the sound off while watching’ ‘How long before they let these bitches f*&$ing play shortstop and bat cleanup? Cuz clearly being PC matters more than quality #wtf #youplayballlikeagirl’ ‘Who did she have to blow to get this job? I’m guessing the whole bullpen’ ‘It was bad enough watching those ridiculous Japanese pitchers with their ten-minute windups or the hitters who think it’s a good idea to be halfway to first base before they even hit the ball, but now we need to listen to this slant-eyed ho?’ ‘if I stick my dick in her mouth will she stop ruining my game with her shrill voice?’ ‘This is Trump’s America but now I need to listen to this slut run her mouth all game?’ ‘This bitch makes me think they should reopen the internment camps’ ‘I don’t want to listen to some chick call the play-by-play. Can we get the Manhattan project going again? Nukes worked on her kind last time’ ‘I actually think she sounds great on the air. I’d love to hear her moan my name’ Hayden there are dozens of these!”
She took a breath. “And you know what? They’re not even the worst. I think the social justice warriors might be even more upsetting.” She started pacing back and forth, picking up speed with every step. “One article went on and on about how the Brooklyn Dodgers represent ‘false diversity’ since you and I are both part white. One is stating that it’s sad that I’m conventionally attractive and able-bodied. Like, what? Because I have all four limbs and I’m in decent shape I’m somehow depriving others of opportunity? Or how about the one that, sure enough, critiqued my relationship with the Moreau family. This person legitimately said that people like me are the reason she didn’t vote for Hillary, that she didn’t think the first female president should ride on her husband’s name, and the first mixed-race lady giving play-by-play shouldn’t have gotten there through nepotism. Then, of course, you have the gems that ramble on about how this isn’t a big deal and how there should be more women in positions like this anyway and that by celebrating my achievements we are somehow actually making it worse for women. I can’t even… UGH!!!” She finally stopped her pacing (which had essentially been on the edge of a full-on back-and-forth sprint). She turned to face him, shaking with rage.
“I just don’t know what to do. It’s only been one game! How am I going to get through an entire season of this!”
