“Would you mind if we move onto a different topic?” Alchan asked softly, not wanting to overrun his vulnerable old friend, who had just opened up about something hard.
“If you mean our next meeting, certainly. I was hoping to talk to you about it before it happened as well.” Seanev didn’t miss a beat. “I’m not here to ruin your life or day, Alchan. Please remember that.”
“I’m not worried about my life or day, right now. I’m worried about yours and how you’ve been able to live it,” Alchan grumbled. “But we’ll put it aside. You set up a meeting with a female and her family, but I don’t recognize their names, and they weren’t any of the nobles you wanted me to speak to and recognize.”
“Well, I wanted this done while I was here,” Seanev said softly. “Not even Leria knew about them before I left. I certainly didn’t until they approached me on the caravan, having packed their own things and brought their own horses. Alchan, I need you to understand, I had no idea who they were, but once the female told me, there was no way I could deny them an audience.”
“And you felt this female and her family deserved one with me.”
“That’s for you to decide, but she is a noble who is asking to be recognized. She didn’t want to write it in a letter. She wanted to say it to you.”
“Do you think I’ll give her what she wants?” Alchan didn’t appreciate mysteries. He preferred when everything was laid out in front of him, and he could adjust accordingly.
“That’s for you to decide and…I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer here.”
“That’s terrifying,” Alchan muttered. “Care to go get them, so we can get this out of the way?”
“She and her family might be waiting already,” Seanev said. “Alchan, please understand…”
“I won’t judge you for whatever this is about.” He could see on Seanev’s face, he didn’t like this either. That meant this female outranked Seanev in some way, and Seanev couldn’t have said no.
An even more terrifying thought.
Alchan found himself alone as he considered the possibilities. When the door opened and Seanev held it for the female and her family, he was confronted with a possibility he could have never dreamed of.
Seeing her face, he was hit with a memory he had believed was buried and forgotten. He hadn’t thought of it in over a thousand years.
She can’t leave me. She’s mine. She’s mine. SHE’S MINE!
Alchan forgot how to breathe as that possessive monster crawled out of the dark hole where he had put it. If he thought Lilliana brought it to life, he had been sorely mistaken. Seeing her, the rest of the world fell away as the memory continued like a nightmare. He remembered it all in vivid detail, a memory he could never forget, no matter how much he wanted to. He had only believed it was gone, but it never really disappeared.
It was the day his mother disappeared from his life.
This can’t be happening.
No.
No, please.
Don’t leave me. You’re mine!
You’re my mother!
Please!
She had been so utterly betrayed by Behron after learning Luykas existed, she wanted to end their marriage. The only problem was no one could ever safely walk away from a bedru. That possessive urge to claim and keep, took a deadly turn when someone tried. She would have to disappear.
Alchan’s grandmother, Queen Tyanna, had warned his mother if she wanted to leave Behron and be free of him, she also had to leave her bedru son.
She did.
Guards had dragged him out of the room long enough for her to disappear as he screamed for her to stay. By the time he had made his way back into the throne room, she was gone.
Alchan stared at her face, a face he hadn’t seen since he was ninety-five years old, just about to become an adult.
Seventeen hundred and fifty-six years to the season. She left me in the summer.
Still, every instinct in him screamed the same thing.
She’s mine. She’s mine. SHE’S MINE!
He sat down very slowly, needing to control himself. He wasn’t a boy anymore. He was the king and had centuries of experience controlling his urges and instincts, he hadn’t had on that day. His grandmother had warned him it would never go away. Once he believed his mother belonged to him, it would never go away.
His grandmother had been right. She had been so right.
Seanev moved very slowly, pointing out a place for his mother and the males with her to go. Alchan tried to steady his heartbeat as it raced irregularly. He watched her intently, trying not to feel anything. He needed to be rational.
Control it. I need to control it. I wasn’t strong when she left. I am now. There’s no reason for me to act. I don’t need to.
He tried to push aside the possessiveness, only for the anger to come next.
She left me, and now she’s back. What could she possibly want from me?
The anger was easier. He could use it to stay in touch with reality.
“Alchan—” Her voice was changed by years, but the way she said his name was just as she had on that last day, the same way she said it as he grew up.
“Your Majesty,” he growled, coming to reality as though he was ready to fight for his life, everything suddenly spectacularly clear. There were three males with her, two he recognized from his youth, Delkon and Venar, her other husbands. The third male he didn’t recognize, and he didn’t know who or what the male was to his mother.
She looked hurt by his correction.
“Your Majesty,” she said, lowering her head.
“What do you want, Asari? Or is there another name I should call you now, considering I know my grandmother gave you and your husbands all new identities,” he said, trying so hard not to growl, snarl, or roar. He wanted to. As the little family looked between each other, he let himself growl. “I’m a busy male with a people to rule and a rebellion to command. Speak.”
“We heard you were acknowledging nobility,” Delkon said, looking up. “We were hoping you would reinstate your mother.”
Alchan looked at the family in front of him, angered at the audacity. He was glad Seanev moved to his side, a clear indication who he was supporting. Seanev didn’t think his mother was in the right.
“No,” he answered immediately. “No, I don’t think I will.” His mother’s eyes went big. “Please tell me, Asari, why I should reinstate your nobility. If you can tell me that, I’ll tell you why I’m not inclined to.”
Her mouth thinned into a line. He’d made her angry. That was fine. She’d abandoned him, and her feelings didn’t matter to him.
“I was poised to rule a noble house, and I still have every single one of those skills. I can be an asset to the royal family. Also, Behron is gone. With him gone, we can be a family again.”
“See, when I told Seanev I was willing to acknowledge the nobility, I meant those who were noble at the time of the fall,” Alchan said, standing slowly to stare her down. “It’s also a necessity since the nobility needs to acknowledge their ruler and remember I hold their positions in my hands, not the other way around. You gave up your position several hundred years before the War. As for the other thing? We can be a family again?” Alchan barked a laugh, a mean laugh. He didn’t feel like himself anymore.
“You threw our family away. You threw your nobility away. You threw your rank away. You threw your son away. You don’t get to come back now and ask for the privilege again. I’ve spent seventeen hundred plus years trying to forget you and was doing a good job of it.”
“She’s…your mother,” the third male said softly, his eyes wide.
“She was a long time ago,” Alchan growled. “I don’t know who you are, so introduce yourself.”
Asari stepped in front of the male, her hands up, but didn’t say anything. Not a child then because a mother would have spoken up.
Well, maybe not her. She didn’t speak up for me. Not when it mattered.
“I�
�m Calken,” he said. “I married…Asari when she moved into the same valley.”
“Ah, a third husband,” Alchan said softly. “How much do you know?”
“I’m the only person they ever told before they told Seanev on our trip here, and they told me once I joined the household,” he said, bowing his head.
“So, you know everything.” Alchan leaned forward on the table, drumming his fingers as he considered his mother and her husbands. “Asari, you left because Behron had an affair with an Elvasi woman and had a child with her. Do you remember that?”
“I’ll never forget,” his mother said with a strong undercurrent of anger. She would never forget the cut of his father’s betrayal of her family.
“You know, he tried to kill me after you left,” he whispered, smiling cruelly. “He nearly beat me to death. I made my way to the palace and begged Grandmother to fix it. Then the boy appeared. And Behron tried killing him once too. Behron might not have been the best husband before you left, but he became a terrible father after you were gone. Not that he was ever great. I dealt with milder beatings when you weren’t in residence.”
Alchan had never felt so angry. Seeing her again brought back everything—every pain he had to suffer through, every difficult conversation he had to have. The whispers of the palace and the nobility—no mother, a father who wanted him dead, a royal family broken apart, and not even the queen could really hold it together—every pain.
His mother paled at every word, but her chin stayed up.
“I don’t believe you didn’t know about either of those. Even when your son was broken by you leaving, even as his father tried to murder him, you couldn’t bother to come back and face it. You were so angry at Behron, you left me to die,” Alchan snarled. “Your hurt was worth more than your son’s life!”
His mother turned away, her shoulders shaking.
“Now, you stand in front of me, talking about how he’s gone, so you should get your position back. Oh…and we can all be a happy family again,” Alchan growled. “I have a family, a brother who has bled for me. He followed me around the world, protecting and fighting for our people. I have a sister, his wife, who is my Champion and the best female I have ever met. I have my Company, my royal guard, the Ivory Shadows, warriors who have been with me since the war ended. I have a Consort I love more than anything in this world, and he accepts me for who I am. For all of me, not just the convenient, easy parts.” Alchan straightened up.
“So, no, I won’t give you anything you want—not your title, your rank, or a place in my family. You threw it all away, and from the broken pieces, I built something better, without a mother willing to toss me aside and a father who hated me. Seanev, stay with them for a moment. I’m leaving and don’t want them following me. When you release them, tell Luykas, Rainev, or Mave I’ve gone to my favorite place.”
“Yes, sire,” Seanev said.
Alchan turned his back on them and went out a door closer to him. He launched into the air, going straight up, as high as he could go. The air grew cold and thin, his breathing growing harder. He went up in the bright sunlight, trying to outrun the possessive monster.
She’s mine!
No, I don’t want her!
He rushed to his cave, knowing it was the only place he would find any amount of privacy and peace. He needed time to crush these feelings.
12
Mave
“How are you feeling?” Mave asked her nemari as they sat together in the field.
“Is every afternoon going to be like this?” he asked, laying back, his eyes on the sky.
“I don’t know.” So far, they spent the afternoon just talking about the morning training. Mave knew lessons were an important factor of what the nemari needed from the position, and she was expected to give to him. She was just a warrior and held no command rank. As Champion, people respected and deferred to her, but they weren’t looking to her for orders. She wasn’t going to be good at teaching Emerian anything like that. She could only make sure he was a good warrior, and he understood how her training was going to make him into one.
“Well, it’s still early, right?” He smiled. “Day one of…hundreds.”
“That’s right.” She didn’t have a chance to finish her thought, wanting to ask him about his ideas of the future. She was hoping to help guide him into what he wanted after the rebellion.
A sharp tug on the blood bond felt urgent. Luykas needed her.
“We’re done for the day,” she said suddenly, standing. “Feel free to go where you please.”
“Wait, what’s wrong?” he asked as he stood as well.
“I don’t know, but it’s not something you can help with. Luykas needs me.” She jumped into the air when he nodded, leaving him in the clearing.
Luykas was heading to her and nearly collided with her as he tried to stop.
“Seanev just told me something happened, and Alchan went to his ‘favorite place.’ I want you as back up. I can’t find Rain, or I would grab him, too.”
“The waterfall,” Mave said, not waiting to hear what Luykas said next. She turned in the air and headed north, flying over Alchan’s cliffside toward the place where she knew he spent his time with Rain when he wanted to get away. Luykas followed her closely, and they landed together at the base of the waterfall. “There’s a cavern behind the waterfall,” she explained over the sound of the crashing water. “Did Seanev tell you what happened?”
“A little. We’ll talk about it when I make sure Alchan is okay,” he said loudly, beginning his climb up the cliff. Mave followed him, ignoring how it soaked her to the bone as they made their way to Alchan’s refuge.
Luykas got inside first, Mave moving slower. Last time she came into this cavern, she had found herself learning a secret and putting herself between a male she loved and a king she respected.
“Alchan?” Luykas called.
“Back here,” the king said softly. Mave blinked, her eyes adjusting to the strange cavern light. The evening sun went through the water, making light bounce off the walls of the cavern, beautiful in its own way. She understood why Alchan and Rain found refuge here.
“I heard. Seanev told me,” Luykas said gently as they found Alchan sitting in a dark corner. “Oh, Alchan. It’s going to be okay.”
“I know. I just wanted to get out of the village for the night.” Alchan looked hollow, his amber eyes catching the light.
“What happened?” Mave asked, looking between the brothers. “I’m out of the loop here.”
“Alchan’s mother is in the village,” Luykas whispered, kneeling in front of Alchan. “Did she really ask for her nobility back?”
“Yes, and made some ridiculous claim about how we could be a family again,” Alchan growled, standing so quickly, he nearly knocked Luykas over.
Mave searched her memory, trying to find any reference to Alchan’s mother. She had never heard of the woman before, not that she could remember. By Alchan’s growl and pacing, she knew it wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it hurt him deeply.
“I can’t fight the battle if you don’t tell me who the enemy is and how you want me to proceed,” she said, stepping in front of him. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on. Why are we upset that your mother is here? She’s your mother.”
“Seventeen hundred and fifty-six years,” Alchan said, looking down at her. “That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen my mother.”
“That’s a…very long time,” she said. Her math skills weren’t great, but that meant he hadn’t seen her since he was a child before he reached his majority at one hundred years.
“It is,” he agreed. “She left. When our father’s affair was exposed, how he betrayed my mother and had a child with an Elvasi noblewoman, my mother left.” Alchan breathed hard. “The problem was and will always be, no one can just leave a bedru. Not safely. We get attached and violent if we think we’re going to lose something important to us. We’ll kill whoever we need to kill and w
ill do whatever is needed to keep the person with us, even if it’s against their will.”
“Which is why you’ve given everyone free rein to kill you if we feel like you’ve crossed the line,” she said softly, nodding. “And your mother wanted to leave your father.”
“And he would have kept her,” Alchan said with a bitter smile. “So, my grandmother gave her a new identity, a new life. She didn’t just leave my father…she left me, too. She gave up her maternal rights and her position. Gave it all up, just so she could be rid of my father.”
“Now, she’s back, asking for all of those things,” Luykas snapped. “Bitch.”
Alchan snarled, and something not quite right entered his eyes. Mave had seen insanity before and would never forget it. She had seen Alchan walk this fine line every time he looked at Rain when the young male touched anyone else. She had just never seen her king’s control so fraught.
“Mine,” he growled.
“So am I,” Luykas reminded him, obviously unperturbed. Mave resisted the urge to put herself between them. The words made Alchan blink and nod.
“You are,” Alchan said, looking down. “I came out here because, in the end, Grandmother was right. It never goes away. She walked into the war room, and I remembered every single feeling—the ownership, need, and anger from that day. I could bury it and forget it for a long time, then she walked in, and it all came rushing back. I just…need an evening to deal with it. I was already feeling raw and just needed space.”
“Okay,” Luykas said, nodding. “We’ll let you have that. Do you want me to take charge of the final details for Seanev?”
“Yes. He’s taking…one thousand warriors. It’s a big force, but I know he can handle it.”
“He’s led larger,” Luykas agreed.
Mave crossed her arms, letting them talk out the rebellion work while she considered the situation with Alchan’s mother. This female had hurt Alchan. She had left him.
The Champion's Ruin Page 13
