by Kay Correll
Not that she’d known he’d be this anxious.
He was fine.
He spun around at the sound of a flurry of activity behind him. Sophie hurried up to him. “There you are. Are you ready to go?”
He forced a smile. “Yep.” He was so relieved to see her he had to keep himself from throwing his arms around her and sweeping her up in a hug. He knew she had responsibilities at the gallery, but he just wanted…
What did he want? Her presence? Her support? Well, here she was with her sparkling eyes, bubbling enthusiasm, and total faith in him, however displaced that might be.
“The center is packed.” She peeked out at the crowd.
“I figured people would cancel when they heard that Jackson wasn’t performing.” He wasn’t sure he wanted a packed crowd. He reminded himself that this was a smaller venue. He’d done much larger concerts. There was no reason to be nervous.
Sophie turned and looked at him. “Are you kidding me? We sold more tickets since everyone found out that Chase Green himself would be performing.” She smiled at him.
He took a deep breath. Yes, he was performing tonight.
He would be fine.
Just fine.
How many times could he tell himself that?
The event coordinator went out on stage and introduced him. Sophie smiled encouragingly at him. She hesitated, then leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on his check. “Break a leg.”
Was break a leg the proper thing to say to someone performing a concert, or just to an actor?
Well, he was going to be acting. He was going to act like this was no big deal. He was going to act like he was fine. He took a deep breath and headed out on stage.
The crowd cheered, and he lifted a hand in a wave. “Hello, Sweet River Falls.”
The crowd answered with an echoing hello.
He turned to the band and nodded. They started into the intro of his first song. He swung his guitar into position and took a few steps toward the front of the stage.
Then it happened. He looked at the front row.
His mirage.
Again.
He vaguely heard the band as they played the intro a second time, waiting for him to join in.
Front and center in the crowd, the mirage was right there.
She was there again.
Sophie frowned as the band played the intro a second time. Chase was just standing there staring out into the audience. A memory of what Beth told her about Chase freezing at his last concert flashed through her mind. Was it happening again? Without taking time to think it through, she walked out on stage.
She crossed through the bright lights and went to stand beside Chase. “You okay?” She mouthed the words.
He just looked at her.
“Chase?” She said his name.
This time he turned his attention to her and actually saw her standing there. She reached out and put her hand on his arm.
He shook his head.
She turned and motioned to the sound guy to cut Chase’s microphone. She could hear the crowd getting restless.
“Chase, is everything okay?”
“I can’t.” He whispered the words.
“Sure you can. It’s okay. Look at me.”
He turned and looked right into her eyes.
She couldn’t believe she was offering this, but she didn’t know how else to help him. She licked her lips. “How about we start with a duet? We could do that song you wrote. A Song to Remember.”
He nodded at her. Sort of. She was going to take that as a yes. She turned to the sound man and motioned to turn the mic back on and hurried over to grab a mic of her own.
“Well, Chase here has convinced me to sing a duet with him tonight.” She smiled and waved to the audience. “Hope you enjoy.”
The band started the intro, and she looked right at Chase and nodded. They both started into the words, and Chase’s voice strengthened as they got into the first verse. He joined in playing his guitar, and their voices entwined, filling the event center with the clear tones of the song. It was one of her favorites of his, and the throng of concert-goers seemed to love it. The crowd even joined in on the refrain.
The song ended, and the center erupted in applause.
“You good now?”
He nodded.
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it.” She turned to leave, and he reached for her, the slightest touch on her elbow. She turned to look at him.
“Stay.” His eyes pleaded with her.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, let’s do this, then.” She grinned at him and motioned to the band. They sang another set of songs to deafening applause after they finished each one. Slowly Chase began to relax and smile. He almost seemed like his normal self.
Almost.
There was an edge to him, and he kept looking out at the front section of fans.
“How about we wrap up with Road to Forgiveness?” He played a few chords.
She nodded back at him and waited while the band started up again. Chase started into the first verse of the song, and she joined him on the refrain. She sang the second verse, and he joined in on the refrain again. They both sang the last verse, their voices dancing through the arena, in a haunting, twisting spiral of the final refrain.
Once again the crowd erupted in applause. She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. Music. She had so missed her music. She’d missed that spark of joy that singing brought to her. She felt most like her authentic self when she was lost in a song. Is this something she could have had, if not for the accident and needing to run the gallery?
This was no time to think about that.
They waved to the crowd, and Chase took her hand firmly in his and led her off stage.
Chase wrapped her in a hug as soon as they hit the backstage area. “Thank you, Sophie. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“What happened out there?” She looked up at him.
He scraped a hand over his face. “I—”
Just then Beth came rushing up to them and threw her arms around her. “Sophie Brooks. Look at you. You were wonderful.”
“She was.” Chase nodded.
“You two were fabulous together. Soph, I haven’t heard you sing like that in forever. I swear you were born to sing.”
“Says my unbiased best friend.” She grinned at Beth.
More people came up to congratulate them, and Sophie basked in the praise and congratulations. Tonight had been the most thrilling night of her life. She had sung on stage with an honest-to-goodness, famous country star.
And she’d had the time of her life.
But she still was going to find out what happened with Chase. Why he froze. He wasn’t going to get away with a non-answer.
The crowd finally died down, and she and Chase sat alone in the small room that doubled as a dressing room for performers but in reality was just a supply room.
“So are you going to talk to me? Tell me what happened.” She reached out and took his hand in hers.
He sat there not speaking, and for a minute she thought he wasn’t going to answer her.
He finally leaned forward. “I— I saw her. I mean I think I saw her. I think it was her.”
“Who?” A frown wrinkled her forehead. He wasn’t making much sense.
“My—” He cleared his throat and looked right at her. “My mother.”
His mother was dead. Was he seeing ghosts? “You said she was dead.”
“No, I said she was gone.”
“So she’s not dead?” Her head started to spin. He was not making any sense.
“I guess not. I didn’t really know for sure. But then I saw her sitting in the front row. Just like I did in Albuquerque. First time I’d seen her in over twenty-five years.”
“I don’t understand.” She still couldn’t get over the fact his mother wasn’t dead. She was gone. That’s what he’d told her. She’d assumed he meant dead.
And he sure hadn’t corrected that assumption.
“My mother left. Left us, my father and I. Disappeared right after Garrett died.”
“Who’s Garrett?”
“My brother.”
Now her head was twirling with thoughts as she tried to sort out all he had told her.
She realized that she didn’t know anything about this man sitting in front of her. All her illusions that she’d gotten to know the real Chase Green burst into a million tiny shards of glass.
Who was this man?
Chapter 18
Guilt washed over Chase. He’d known Sophie thought his mom was dead, and he’d done nothing to change that or tell her the truth. Now, when the truth came out, he could see the hurt clearly etched on her face.
“I’m sorry, Sophie. It’s just always been easier to… to forget it all happened.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “It was such a rough time in my life. My brother was my best friend. He was two years older than me and we did everything together. We had this perfect family life. Vacations, family dinners, and lots and lots of laughter. Then Garrett got sick. Cancer. The next few years were all about doctors and hospitals. They were all about Garrett, as they should have been, but it was like I no longer existed.”
He stood up and paced the floor. “I resented the attention he got, which was silly. I mean he got attention because he had cancer, for Pete’s sake.” He mindlessly picked up a flyer about the concert, then set it back down.
She still hadn’t said a word, but he could see the pity in her eyes. He didn’t want pity. His life had just been what it had been. He’d already dealt with all the pain.
At least he thought he had until he’d seen his mother again.
He swallowed. “Garrett died after two years of fighting the cancer. The day after his funeral, I woke up to find a note on the bed table. Mom said she had to leave. She had all these reasons. She said she loved me but couldn’t stay.”
“Chase, I’m so sorry.”
“Yes, well, it was hard at the time. I kept imagining she’d return. But I never got a phone call, a card, or anything.”
“Then you saw her in the audience in Albuquerque?”
“I thought so. But then, after I walked off the stage, well, then I wasn’t sure. I thought my mind had been playing tricks. But I full out panicked about my next concert in Dallas and told Sam I’d lost my voice, so we cancelled.”
“And you thought you saw her again tonight?”
“I’m sure I did.” There was no doubt or mistake this time. He’d seen her. She’d given him a little smile and a wave.
Why, after all this time had she decided to come hear him sing?
A knock at the door drew him out of his thoughts. He didn’t want to be interrupted now. He needed time to think. Time to try and explain things to Sophie. Someone knocked again, louder this time.
He stalked over to the door and yanked it open.
“Hello, Chase.”
There she was. He could no longer trick himself into believing she was a mirage. She was right there in front of him. She looked so much the same, and yet different. Older. Her hair had grayed and no longer floated around her shoulders. She wore it in a short cut with wisps of curls framing her face. Wrinkles etched her face at the sides of her eyes, but her eyes were still the same crystal-clear sky-blue color he remembered.
“May I come in?”
He didn’t move. He didn’t even know if he was breathing.
Somewhere in the distance of reality, he felt the sudden closeness and warmth of Sophie at his side. He saw Sophie’s hand snake out toward…
His mother. Only she didn’t get to call herself that. She’d abandoned him. A mother didn’t abandon their child. All the anger and fury and hurt he’d buried for so many years burst around him, engulfing him in a furor he didn’t know how to control.
He stepped back from the door. “No, I don’t think you should come in. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Chase, please.” Her blue eyes implored him.
Well, he hadn’t even been given a chance to beg her to stay all those years ago. She hadn’t given him that opportunity. Why should he let her in now? Let her into the room, or into his life?
Sophie looked at him, then turned to his mother. “Maybe now isn’t a good time.”
“I just want to say…” A lone tear trailed down his mother’s—no, the woman’s—face.
It would not move him. Not the look in her eyes, or the tear on her cheek.
“Chase, I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much after all this time. But I am sorry. And I just want you to know I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
She gave him a searching look like she was memorizing all his features. “I’m staying at Pine View B&B for a few days. I’d love it if you’d come see me. If you can. If you want to…”
He said nothing. Every fiber in his entire body was screaming. He wanted, no needed, to break something. Smash something into little pieces like his life had been when she’d left him all those years ago. To run as fast as he could until he dropped in exhaustion. Wanted to curl up in a ball just like the young boy had when she’d left.
Instead, he turned his back on her and walk across to the far side of the room.
He heard Sophie close the door softly and cross the room to him. Her hand rested lightly on his arm.
“I… I can’t talk now.” He drew in a deep breath of the cloying air. All the oxygen seemed to have been sucked from the room. He looked around wildly for an escape and saw a back door on the storage room.
“I have to go.” He snatched his jacket and guitar and fled through the door, out into the cold night air and the starry night. The moonlight rained down on him, encircling him in a silvery light.
He didn’t want light.
He wanted to just disappear.
Chapter 19
Beth burst into Sophie’s loft early Sunday morning. “Sophie, have you seen this?” She waved her phone in front of Sophie’s face.
“What?”
“A video of you and Chase singing Road to Forgiveness. It’s gone viral.”
“What? Let me see.” She snatched the phone from Beth. “Oh my gosh, look at the views.” She tapped the play button and watched the video start. “Oh, wow.” She stared at the phone as she watched she and Chase sing the song.
“And it keeps jumping up. Look at all those shares.” Beth walked over and grabbed a mug and poured herself some coffee.
“I can’t believe it.”
“Why not? You two were spectacular together. Better than when he sang with that Kimberly person.”
“No, we weren’t.”
“I know you’re my best friend, but I’m telling you the truth. It was magical.”
Sophie felt a wide grin spread across her face. “I had such a great time. I’d forgotten how much I love to perform. I miss it.”
“Music is you, Sophie. You should find a way to get it back in your life.”
“I don’t have time with the gallery and everything.”
“I’m telling you, you’re meant to sing.” Beth took a sip of coffee. “Oh, hey. Did you find out why Chase froze on stage? He did freeze again, didn’t he? Before you came out and joined him?”
Sophie sighed. “He did freeze and I did find out what the problem was—or maybe still is. You know how we were just talking about how well I thought I knew him?”
“Yes, you said you’d gotten to know the real Chase.”
“Well, let’s just say I was mistaken. I don’t really know him at all.”
“The freezing thing? You going to get to that?” Beth looked at her from over her mug.
“Right. That. Well, he saw his mother in the audience.”
“So?”
“So… he hasn’t seen her in over twenty-something years. She left him and his father. Right after his brother died.”
“Oh, wow. I’ve never heard about any of this. Wasn’t in anything I read when I searched on the
net.”
“I’m pretty sure no one really knows. He obviously doesn’t tell anyone. He implied to me that she was dead.”
“But she just showed up in Sweet River Falls?”
“I guess she showed up in Albuquerque, too.”
“The first concert he cancelled? The one where he walked off stage?”
“The very one.”
“Hm… I guess everyone has their secrets.” Beth shrugged.
“Well, it sure goes to show that I don’t know him. I thought his mother was dead and didn’t even know he’d ever had a brother.” Sophie walked to the window. “And that’s not all. His mother showed up at the dressing room after the show.”
“Really? How did that go?”
“It didn’t. He wouldn’t talk to her. I mean, I can’t blame him. She left him and just disappeared. But you should have seen the look in her eyes. She was drinking him in. Studying every inch of him like she was taking a mental photo of him to keep with her forever.” She took a sip of her coffee and looked out over the river below her. “His mom said she was sorry. Though really, sorry doesn’t work for something like that, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t. I can’t imagine a mother abandoning her child.” Beth walked over to stand beside her.
“Then… after his mother left, he just shut down and wouldn’t talk to me. He just disappeared into the night.” She sighed. “I wanted to talk to him, help him. But he just shut me out.”
She turned to look at Beth. “And that was after he kissed me Friday night. I thought we were getting closer.”
“You are.”
“But don’t you see? I thought I knew him. I thought maybe… Well, I don’t know what I thought. Anyway, I know better than to open up so quickly to someone like I did with Chase. It was foolish. It takes time to get to know someone. I’ve only known him a few weeks. But, well, I don’t really know him, do I? I just thought… well, I thought we connected on some level.”
