by Ellie Mack
I had to get it to Devon. I prayed that Anjelo hadn’t taken it.
I squirmed, trying to get unstuck from the mud. When I was able to open my eyes and focus, I realized I was in a hospital bed with Tara holding my hand. It is a disconcerting feeling waking up not knowing where you are. It made me wonder how long I had been unconscious and how much time had passed.
“I know who did it.” My voice was weak, a gravelly hoarse sound barely above a whisper.
“Good. You can tell the police everything. Who kidnapped you?” Tara clasped her hand tighter, tears streaming down her face relieved that her sister was alive.
“Devon. I need to see Devon. I know who did it.” Roxy was insistent.
“Fine. He just left. I’ll go see if he’s still in the building.” Tara reluctantly rose and moved towards the hallway. She walked to the elevators to push the down button. “Is she awake?”
He was leaning on the window ledge behind her. In her relief, she realized that she had been too hard on him. She walked over to him, took his hand in hers, looking down at their hands. Then let out a deep sigh.
“Yes. She is asking for you. She said she knows who did it.”
Tara wanted to apologize, to let him know that she had been scared of losing her sister, but he moved lightning fast to Roxy’s side.
CHAPTER 35
I instructed Devon to get the little stuffed bear at the apartment if it was still there. While laying in that muck, I had finally put together the clues that Luke had been telling me. I didn’t realize at the time what he was saying about the bear. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, though, that he wasn’t just being sentimental when he brought up the bear. I was certain that Luke had stuffed the flash drive inside of it.
Devon took the flash drive to the lab at the station. The files were the undeniable proof that linked the sports drinks to the poor young men whose bodies were dumped near the homeless shelter. With the copied files, they were able to get a search and seizure order for Cyberdyne, and recover samples of SLMA E17, the synthetic methamphetamine that was responsible for the severe dehydrating effect found in the victim’s bodies.
From the files, addresses and phone numbers were retrieved and the the parents of each of the young men were contacted. None were over twenty-five years of age.
Wilhelm Reinholz was detained in customs before boarding his Lear jet to Switzerland. He was charged with twelve counts of murder, corporate espionage, and acts of chemical warfare, as well as kidnapping, interstate trafficking, and a few more charges that would increase his jail time.
Ricky Martinez had been a mule for Reinholz, recruiting people from the gym and the local boys’ club. After Devon took my statement at the station, I remembered several instances of Ricky trying to talk me into trying this new supplement, and overhearing him telling others the same. That it was like a miracle drink, as if it contained steroids but then he would laugh it off and say, “ but we know tht isn’t the case or this stuff would be illegal.” I would miss Ricky, he was a good trainer and mostly a good guy that made some bad choices. Anjelo’s DNA matched to the scene of Ricky’s murder.
I filed charges against Chad after Devon agreed to let me see the website where he had posted the videos of me. I didn’t watch any of the others, but I did see three girls I knew. I felt obligated to contact them after I left the station, and explain to them what had happened and that I had filed charges against Chad Ramsey, as the videos were taken without my consent and were taken when I was a minor. A few months later, went to jail for sexual assault of a minor, distribution of child pornography, five counts of sodomy, five counts of deviant sexual behavior, and human trafficking. Once they opened his file with the charges, more women came forward. Chad walked right into a sting operation trying to sell time with an under aged girl that was only twelve.
Mom’s house sold and the money was divided between Tara and myself. I couldn’t bring myself to do a final walkthrough, but sent Aunt Carol to do it. It had been nine moths since Mom had passed, but it was still fresh in my mind. The estate planner contacted us to inform us that Dad was awarded five thousand dollars from the estate. Something about an investment that he and Mom had made together in their early years together.
It made me angry, but I decided that it was Mom’s business, after all, and it was her money to do with as she saw fit. It still irked me, but it wasn’t my decision.
Two weeks after I was discharged from the hospital, the second time around, Tara sat down with me and told me that she accepted a position in Atlanta and the intern that she had been dating was offered a position in the oncology department there. I was happy for her of course, but also sad that she would be moving out.
It’s funny, not so long ago I was worried about what she would do when Luke and I were married. Now, Luke is gone and I am the one left behind. I am happy for my sister, though. It seems like she is truly happy with where her life is heading. A part of me mourned for what would never be in my own life, but I rejoiced at the doors that had opened for me.
Happy tears were shed, but I knew that Tara had to live her own life. We were sisters forever and she was only a phone call away. I rode in the moving van, with Devon driving to help Tara get settled in. We had several hours of driving to talk and catch up. I heard him out, his reasons for breaking up with me. I wanted to be angry, but to be honest, he was right.
I would have followed him blindly and given up my dreams to be with him. Ultimately, it would have left us dissatisfied, but there was no way to convince me of that back then. Now that we are both more mature, I think we will take it slow, see where things go. Things were different, we weren’t naïve kids.
I had an uneasiness knowing that Devon had seen the videos that Chad had posted on his site. I was embarrassed any time that he tried to kiss me or do anything more. After several weeks, he was frustrated and we talked about why I pulled back.
“Roxy, look. Yes, I saw those videos. I was angry. I was angry that you were with him. I was angry that you had sex with him. But, I also knew, I pushed you away. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve kicked myself for being such a fool, but seeing you with him hurt. What hurt most is that it was because of me that you allowed yourself to be put in that situation.”
“I only started dating him on a dare.” I stared out the window watching the scenery flash by.
“What do you mean on a dare?”
“That night. At the party. They were joking about flexing their chest muscles and I happened to walk up just at that time. Rob and Craig were squeezing their hands, flexing their chest muscles and Rob said ‘Hey betcha you can’t do that, Roxy. So, I did. Without squeezing my hands together like they were doing.”
“That was always hot the way you could do that. I was so jealous seeing you with him at that party. I felt hurt like, how could you rush into his bed after we broke up? But I know, I am the one that broke up.”
“Yeah, well anyway, Chad dared me to show him my breasts. Just then you walked by and I was so angry, I slammed down a drink then grabbed his hand and told him fine. I only intended to show him, but things progressed and I make a lot of stupid decisions when I am angry.”
I stared out the window, feeling ten times the awkwardness of remembering what I had seen in the videos, and knowing that Devon had viewed them. “Devon, this is very awkward.”
“What is?” He asked never taking his eyes from the road.
“Discussing the past about Chad, knowing that you saw those videos. I am embarrassed. I didn’t want to do half of what was on those videos. I was willing to experiment, but it never felt right with him. Had I known that he was taping us, I would have never agreed.”
“So you’re opposed to us filming ourselves?”
I turned to him. “How can you even think about that? I mean, I was just victimized by this whole mess and you disregard it with some kinky request?” I turned back to the window. Maybe our getting back together was not a good idea after all. Maybe the counseling w
as a waste of time.
“Hey relax. I was only teasing.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t look at him. I was humiliated all over again.
Suddenly he was pulling off the road into a roadside rest area. The truck came to a stop and he turned in his chair reaching for my hand. I pulled back, my lips pursed. “You are not going to dismiss this with a joke!”
“Roxy, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meaning to make light of it.”
He reached for my hand again, this time I allowed it. He clasped his fingers in mine, raising my hand to his lips, then kissing lightly.
“I was jealous, OK? I was jealous of you with Chad. But even being jealous, I was turned on because it was you. You on that screen, you making the same expressions when we were together. I was out of my mind jealous, wanting to kill Chad. I watched it again, focusing on you. I can’t lie, Roxy, it turned me on imagining, no, hoping, that someday, that would be us. I want to experience everything with you.”
The scowl never left my face, but I was listening.
“I can’t pretend like I didn’t see them. I did. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed. I’m humiliated. Those were supposed to be private. I had no idea he was taping me, and I feel” I cringed inside trying to get just the right word. “I feel violated.”
“Of course you do because you were. It’s the same thing when kids are molested. They were violated, yet they feel guilty for their part of it.”
“Yeah. I do. I feel guilty, I feel angry, violated, embarrassed, humiliated and” I didn’t look up, my eyes were locked on our clasped hands that lay in my lap. I stopped before the tears began to flow.
“Which is perfectly normal. I’ll wait as long as you want, Roxy. I have wasted so much time that I could have been with you and I feel guilty that if it weren’t for me, you would have never been with that creep. I can never forgive myself for that, for putting you in that situation.”
“I had free will. I made the decision to do it regardless of what a bad decision it was.”
I sniffled, squeezing his hand before looking up.
“Devon, I don’t blame you for that. I blame myself.”
“Don’t.”
He leaned over kissing me on the cheek.
“Look we were both young and made plenty of mistakes. It doesn’t make you any less attractive to me. I love you, Roxanne Winters, not the idea of you. Not the image of you on that screen. I love everything about you. I loved the way you used to sing when you would do your household chores. I would be in the back yard and hear you start to sing and I would move over next to the fence and listen to you. You’ve always had a beautiful voice.” He lifted my chin in his hand.
“I love the energy you have about whatever it is that you are passionate about, whether it was building a homecoming float, or pursuing an MMA title, or going for your dream as a singer.”
The tears began to escape slowly trickling down my cheek.
“I was scared for you in that ring, but I was also excited with you, knowing that you would give it your all.”
It was a lesson that I learned from Mom, whatever you do, do it well! Give it one hundred percent of your effort.
“I had chills the first night I heard you sing at the bar. It brought back all those childhood memories. I knew then that I may as well break up with Tara, because I could never look at her in any other way other than your kid sister, and I didn’t have the physical attraction to her that I have always had for you.” He caressed the spot between my thumb and forefinger as he talked. “I love you. Always have.”
He pulled me closer, his hand behind my head. Our lips made the slightest of contact, it was like sparks flew inside the cab of that truck. The kiss deepened as I moved closer, sitting on top of the middle console next to him. His tongue circling mine, darting out playfully then dancing in perfect rhythm with mine. We fit.
There was no other way to describe it, but a perfect fit. Several minutes had passed before we came up for air to notice an audience of about five truckers standing near the bathrooms drinking their beverages.
I scooted back over in my seat, blushing as I told him. “I think we should get back on the road and catch up to Tara and Morgan.”
*****
We shared dinner together, Devon cooked a lasagna for us to enjoy while I made a wonderful Italian salad to accompany it. Morgan had a wine that perfectly complimented the meal. We lingered at the table, talking into the early morning hours. I think Mom would have been pleased at how we were turning out.
“To Mom. To all of the wonderful life lessons that you’ve taught us. To cherished memories and to bright futures.”
It was the first time that I had thought about Mom since her death that I had a peace about it.
It was hard to say goodbyes the next morning to head back home without Tara, but I had to prepare for a sell out concert. I slept most of the ride while Devon drove.
CHAPTER 36
“Ten minutes Ms. Winters.”
I inhaled deeply adjusting my tailored shirt. It was royal purple, Tara’s favorite color. Tara promised that she and Morgan would be here tonight. I crossed my fingers and hoped that she would make it.
I smoothed out the lines of my new leather skirt. It matched the one that I ruined. My shoes were Dolce Gabana, a gift from Devon. I dabbed at the scar on the left of my forehead, running my fingers over the bristly hair that stuck up around the still healing gash. I ended up with a couple of staples in it after reopening it.
My hair was brushed from the right side in a big swoop with added volume from half of a can of hairspray. I hoped it hid the stubbly new growth along the incision.
“Break a leg, Roxy. I’ll be right here if you need anything.” Devon squeezed her hand. “This is what you’ve been working for.”
I took another deep breath. All of a sudden, I was overcome with emotions. I could not let them come out now. I had to keep it together.
The stage manager came back by. “You ready? I’ll give the band the cue to begin and then introduce you.”
I waved my hands back and forth several times shaking them, blowing out deep breaths, bouncing. I had to find my game face. I had to nail this performance, just as if it were a championship fight. I bounced on my toes, rolling my head then taking a big swig of my lemon water.
I exhaled one more time then gave a single exaggerated nod to the stage manager.
The low soulful notes of Sandman’s guitar wailed followed by a ripple of notes on Johnny’s keys.
“Introducing, the little lady you’ve all come to see tonight. Foxy Roxy, the former MMA champion turned blues diva, give it up for Miss Roxanne Winters.”
The applause was deafening. Once I was on stage, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to see anyone with the stage lights on. I could sing my heart out, sing to a party of one, my Mom, Lynn Winters.
Somewhere up there, I knew she would be proud of me for pursuing my dreams.
I squeezed Devon’s hand, tossing him a playful smile.
“I’ve got this.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ellie Mack received her BS in cartography from Southeast Missouri State University. Since leaving the corporate world for the title of MOM, she has pursued her writing dreams. Nowadays Ellie charts unmapped territory through her fiction and humor writing. Formerly a columnist for a local paper, her weekly column received a lot of attention. She lives near St. Louis, MO with her husband of 32 years and their college aged daughters. When she’s not writing she can be found bullet journaling, crocheting, or cooking.
You can find her musings on her blog:
Quotidiandose.wordpress.com
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