“Do you miss them?”
“Not really.” She looked out the passenger side of the car, where the green summer landscape whizzed by in the bright sunshine.
The car picked up a gear under Trev’s control. “What happened?” he asked.
Leah wished to take back the little she’d said. She shouldn’t be sharing such stories on this beautiful day, and never with this man. “Who says anything happened?”
“The inflection of your voice and your expression. The way you turned to the window.”
Leah tried to laugh. “I guess I need to work on my poker face.”
“I probably shouldn’t pry. Don’t feel like you have to tell me.”
Leah considered Trev’s simple question. Hadn’t he told her about Desiree? She thought of Justin. When they were together, they never shared anything meaningful. Was she going to let him come between her and any kind of friendship she and Trev might develop? Maybe she didn’t need to protect herself any longer, and she was finished protecting Justin. “I was dating a guy in that group. He brought me home to meet his parents.” Her words lingered in the open cab just long enough for Trev to hear before the wind snatched them, throwing them to the carefree sun.
“That doesn’t sound like a crime. I’m sure they loved you.”
“None of them loved me.” Old feelings of betrayal and shame rose with the words that tumbled from her. “His parents lived in the rich part of Fayetteville and thought I was there to cater Justin’s graduation party. When I drove up in my old VW, they immediately pegged me as someone from the wrong side of the tracks.” She held her breath. The wind or the beauty of the day couldn’t snatch that reality from her.
Trev gripped the steering wheel. “And Justin didn’t set them straight?”
Sour hostility rose in Leah’s mouth, giving her momentum in the telling. “Oh, he set them straight, all right. He made this big show of defending me against his parents’ classism and narrow point of view.” She turned to Trev. “The thing is, he hadn’t told them anything about me before that night. That was obvious. I’d asked to meet his parents a couple of times, but he always found a way to put me off. And he never bothered to tell me where they lived or how much money they had. He lived in a normal student housing apartment. Nothing fancy. I knew his parents had money, but compared to me—” Leah stopped. Heat rose in her stomach. She swallowed. “Compared to me, everybody’s got money.” With the mortifying admission, the sour taste turned acrid. She hurried on. “Anyway, he didn’t share much information with me about them, and they didn’t know I existed.” She sat back in her seat. “You can imagine the outcome when grace bows out. Justin set the whole thing up. And on top of that …” Leah’s voice trailed off. She’d already said too much.
Trev glanced away from the road. “Go on.”
Leah met his eyes, which were blue as ink and filled with both concern and a hard, cold steel Leah had never seen before. “On top of that, he proposed to me, right there on the porch, in front of his mother.” The bitterness on her tongue receded with the confession.
“What?” Trev braked the car and steered the Beamer to a pull-out. “He proposed in front of his mother?”
“Yeah.” The rest of the story gushed from her. “I’m sure he had the whole thing planned. He didn’t love me. He wanted to make a point, and he used me to do it.” She let out a shaky breath, spent from the telling. “It was horrible and humiliating.”
Trev turned off the engine, the silence of the surrounding countryside invading the car.
Leah’s vulnerability crept in with the calm. The wind no longer kidnapped her words. Instead, they gathered in her lap, along with the unrelinquished ache over Justin’s deception.
Trev unsnapped his seat belt and turned fully toward Leah. “He took something from you, didn’t he?”
Trev’s words caught Leah off-balance. Paige didn’t fully understand what Justin had stolen from her that night. How could she? She and Jonathan had been married for five years and produced two beautiful children. Trust in their marriage grew like a common garden weed. But more than trust was stolen from Leah on Justin’s front porch. The American dream had disappeared along with Leah’s belief in love. No matter how hard she worked, she’d never be anything more than white trash.
Reaching over, Trev placed his fingers gently on her knee. “I’m so sorry, Leah. You didn’t deserve that.”
Leah looked up, her eyes narrowing. If she saw one trace of pity, she would get out of this car and find a way to walk home. Instead, she was greeted with a gaze of compassionate sorrow. Trev didn’t feel sorry for her. This man knew deep emotional agony, and that gave him the ability to stand with hers. Hot tears stung her eyes. She’d never cried over Justin. Her anger held her tears hostage, but Trev saw beyond all of that. The thread that bound her to him pulled her tight. They shared more than she’d ever guessed. “You understand, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I do. I haven’t been through that exact thing, but I know the hurt of loss.”
Tears spilled onto Leah’s cheeks. Hurriedly, she wiped them away, but more took their place. “I’m so sorry,” she gushed in panic as she continued to wipe her face. “I don’t know why I’m crying now. I haven’t cried about it before.”
“That’s why you’re crying now.” Trev reasoned. Reaching over, he pulled a tissue from the console and handed it to her. She wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming.
“I’m sorry,” Leah repeated. This was horrible! She barely knew this man, and somehow he’d been able to get underneath her pleasant façade and expose the place that hurt.
“Please, don’t be sorry.” Gently, he caressed her jaw, his fingers reaching to the soft spot where her neck met her ear.
Leah leaned into the strength of his touch, relinquishing the need to be strong. Tenderly, Trev pulled her to his shoulder, where her stifled sobs turned into a wail.
“Shhhh …” Trev offered comfort, his voice barely above an intimate whisper. He rocked her gently as she clung to his shirt, the tears rising from deep within her belly.
As her sobs subsided, embarrassment overrode her earlier misery. She pulled away, wiping her face with her sleeve. She hated crying. Her tears were so indelicate. Her nose and face swelled, and her skin became red and blotchy. The added humiliation of crying in front of Trev, her attractive boss, made things a thousand times worse. They’d never be friends now, and that inner dance she’d done around the idea of her and Trev dating was a wash.
She looked down at her lap. What a mess she’d become. Would he consider her unfit to care for his parents and fire her? Oh, why couldn’t she just disappear? This was a nightmare! Desperately, she wished she could crawl out of her seat and run down the road. But she wouldn’t get far on foot, and that would only add to her awkwardness.
Leah took in a shaky breath. It wasn’t just the difficulty of a clumsy escape that kept her seated. In spite of her mortification, she craved Trev’s sensitive thoughtfulness.
Again, Trev reached for her, gently caressing her cheek with his thumb before turning her face toward him. “Look at me,” Trev said softly.
Dread filled Leah, her eyes still on her hands in her lap. She’d never be able to look at him again. She shook her head.
“Please look at me.” His tone was low and intimate.
Leah couldn’t deny Trev’s gentle and beseeching request. Holding her breath, she raised her red and swollen face to meet his calm blue eyes. Surely, he’d snicker when he saw how she looked. This man who was used to being surrounded by every beautiful thing. She cringed with humiliation.
Trev smoothed her hair away from her face. Saying nothing, he offered her only a smile, warm and accepting as he wiped the last of the tears from her eyes.
Her slamming heart slowed with his warm acceptance. No trace of derision or contempt showed in his eyes. She took a deep breath and eased into his touch. Maybe this was safe. Maybe Trev was safe. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He leaned
forward, pressing his cheek to hers; the warm roughness of his skin soothed her. She breathed in his masculine scent of clean sweat and sandalwood letting it calm every throbbing worry and heartache.
A car whizzed by, the noise jostling Leah’s thoughts. In spite of her desire to feel Trev’s skin against hers, she pulled away, trying to gather her wits. But confusion swarmed like bees. This was not how this afternoon was supposed to go. And yet, she didn’t want to change a thing. Trev’s loving acceptance softened the sad recollection of Justin and his mother. It tempered every hateful thing about how she had been treated; offering room for sweet reprieve. “I wish I knew how you could so fully understand my experience when it isn’t anything like yours.”
Trev moved back into his seat, pushing the button to start the car before returning his hands to the steering wheel. “Pain is pain,” he murmured. He put the car in gear. “When we get home, I’d like to show you something.”
Leah nodded. Trust, new and fragile, but very real, curled around her soul with a tendril of hope and curiosity. Whatever Trev needed from her in this moment, she’d willingly give it.
Chapter 12
Anxiety scurried through Trev as he parked the car in the garage. He gave Leah a sideways glance. “Can you meet me down at the boat dock?”
“I should check on your folks first.” Leah made a move to get out of the car, but Trev hurried to the passenger side and helped her out.
“I’ll look in on them,” Trev replied. “I need to get something from the house.”
“Okay.” Leah gave him a questioning look before making her way down the gentle slope toward the lake.
Trev watched her go. Listening to her story had cut loose something within his soul, and it grew as if watered by Leah’s tears. Was it fair to unburden himself to Leah? Her story had gushed from her, unfiltered and unbidden, while his effort was thought out. Still, something pushed at him. For the first time, he knew what real bravery and courage looked like, and it paved a way out of the burdensome reality of what had happened to Desiree. Leah would understand. She knew wounded torment, too, even if it was different from his.
Once in the house, he put his ear to his parents’ room. His father snored softly. He made his way to his own. Ignoring the opulence of the furniture and the bed piled with beautiful starched white linens, he stepped toward the dresser and pulled out Desiree’s ring. Some good still might come out of the terrible tragedy of her death and his secret. Yes. He was doing the right thing. With new-found certainty, he pushed the ring into the pocket of his chinos and hurried from his room.
In the hall, he ran into Allison, her face made up and her clothes looking as if she were going out on a date. “Where’re you going in such a hurry?” she asked.
“Down to the lake.” Trev didn’t feel the need to explain himself to his sister. “And you?”
“I’m staging a video for later this afternoon.”
Trev tried not to roll his eyes. Once outside, he forgot about Allison as he made his way to the water’s edge.
He stopped just short of the dock. The light of the sun reflected from the lake, playing with Leah’s blond hair.
She turned to greet him, taking his breath away with her gentle, bright beauty. He longed to stay focused on Leah, but the faint recollection of a smiling Desiree sitting near the same spot, her legs splashing in the water, making him stop short. On the heels of that sweet vision came the memory of that terrible afternoon, when her matted russet hair was plastered to her face as he pulled her from the lake, cold and limp.
Sticky sweat clung to Trev like spiderwebs as the panic from that day closed in.
“It’s beautiful down here,” Leah murmured.
Leah’s words brought him back to the present moment, and he breathed in the comforting reprieve.
She continued, “I’ve never come to the shore with your parents. With this slope, it might make a nice goal for them.”
Trev’s panic retreated. In Leah’s company, he became clear-headed and brave. “Yes.”
“Is this what you wanted to show me?” she asked.
Trev nodded, grateful that he could finally think through to the other side of that dreadful day, even if it was only for a minute. Leah made the effort easier. “Partly. I haven’t been down here since Desiree died.”
Leah searched his face. “Did the accident happen on the lake?” Her voice softened with the inquiry.
He nodded again as the intense memory circled back to him. It never left him for long.
“Tell me what happened.”
Leah’s invitation smashed through Trev’s old and well-defined defenses, almost bringing him to tears. He’d rehearsed this story several times, telling it first to the police, then to his lawyer. He’d repeated it to Desiree’s parents and again to the private investigator they’d hired in order to sue him. He’d told his own family. And he had played it over in his head countless times, desperately wishing for a changed outcome. But this solicitation from Leah was different. It was offered with tender compassion and mercy instead of a bruising need for facts. With Leah, it wasn’t just about what happened to Desiree, but what had happened to him.
Trev swallowed hard, moving to stand beside Leah along the railing. “When Desiree and I moved here, we’d been engaged for a little over a year. The move, for the two of us, was supposed to be temporary. We were going to get Mom and Dad settled and then head back to Seattle. But after a while, it became obvious that my parents needed me to stay.” He looked out over the lake; the light reflecting off the water almost blinded him, taking him to his dreamlike past. “And Desiree and I … we just kind of drifted apart. Or maybe I just drifted away from her. I’m not sure anymore.”
“That can be hard.” Leah paused. “I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. I can tell your parents’ car accident changed everything for your whole family.”
Sorrow crept into Trev with quiet stealth. “Yeah. My folks didn’t exactly thrive, even after we moved here. Until you came along.” He turned to Leah with tenderness. “You’ve made a huge difference in their lives.” He looked back to the lake, the past pulling at him from its cold depths, making his feelings for Leah withdraw as his and Desiree’s story begged to be told. “But both Allison and Desiree atrophied in this place.” His gaze stayed with the water, remorse filling him. “Bringing Allison and Desiree to Eureka Springs is one of my biggest regrets. Desiree would still be alive if she’d stayed in Seattle, and Allison would be in school by now.”
Leah moved toward Trev. “You don’t know that,” she murmured. “None of us know what’s going to happen.” She placed her hand over his on the railing.
Trev turned away from the water and gazed into Leah’s bright gray eyes. The touch of her skin brought more comfort than he imagined possible, giving him courage to continue. “You don’t know the half of it.”
“Then tell me.”
Trev curled his fingers around Leah’s hand and squeezed. Anguish constricted his breathing, making his voice raspy. “No one knows.”
“We can keep it just between us,” Leah spoke slowly.
Silence filled the space. His decision danced on that tenuous thread between them, creating new and vibrant intimacy. Her understanding was more than Trev could accept. He broke away from her, moving to the other side of the dock. He wasn’t worthy of Leah’s gentle goodness. Confessing his secret was a horrible idea. What had he thought would happen? That somehow, bringing Leah down to the very place where Desiree had died would free him of his awful culpability?
Leah came to stand beside him. “What is it?”
Reassuring calm echoed in Leah’s gentle question. He loved that about her, the way she could ease herself into his most agonizing recollections and coax them into the unclouded present. Even here, on the edge of the water that had claimed Desiree’s life, she offered him a way to step out of the cold remembrance of Desiree’s death.
He longed to tell her, to utter the words kept secret in his private vault o
f blame, but fear held him hostage. She might walk away from him if she knew the full story, and after everything she’d given him, the loss of her would be a fresh devastation. Trev couldn’t bear it. He prayed for courage. “You see that water about forty feet to the left of the dock?”
Leah leaned on the railing, close to Trev, but she didn’t touch him. She nodded.
“That’s where I found her.” His voice choked.
“I can’t imagine how awful that must’ve been.”
Trev turned to Leah. Heartache laced his words. “Oh, it was bad. But what no one knows—what makes it a thousand times worse—is that I had just broken up with Desiree thirty minutes beforehand.” Words tumbled from him, unrehearsed and ghastly in the secret they revealed. “I’d told her I thought it best if we didn’t marry. Our lives needed to be on completely different paths. I wanted to stay here. I love it here, and I needed to take care of my folks and my business. She needed to go back to Seattle, where she could reestablish herself in the fashion world before moving on to New York.” Anguish filled his voice. He buried his face in his hands as the horror filled truth bubbled to the surface. He continued, his story taking on a life of its own in the telling. “She was so calm and agreeable to the breakup. She only asked if she could keep the ring. Of course, I told her it was a gift. Then, she wanted to use the boat … by herself. I thought that was odd. Desiree didn’t really care to be on the water, but maybe she just needed some time alone.” A sob escaped him, his heart slamming up into his throat, choking off his air. “It never occurred to me … I never thought …” He dropped his hands from his face, looking into Leah’s eyes for some sort of redemption.
Leah held his gaze as she reached up and caressed his cheek. Her steadiness and her soft palm on his skin pacified the stinging truth, subduing his shame and anguish and overwhelming him with the generosity of her touch. No one had ever caressed him with such tender honesty. Pieces of his guilt broke free and floated from him, like leaves on water. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. He wanted to brush them away, to hide them from Leah, but he didn’t want to disrupt the comfort of her palm on his face. Still, there was more he needed to say. One more ragged confession. He stepped back just inches. “I think she may have committed suicide.” The scathing words exploded from their hiding place. He hadn’t dared utter that possibility before this moment, and now it was fluttering on the breeze in contrast to the beautiful afternoon. He stood still. Leah would certainly withdraw from him now.
The Billionaire's Family Secret (Billionaire Bachelor Mountain Cove Book 15) Page 9
