“Thank you again for the flowers. I’ll definitely enjoy them.”
“I’m glad you like them.” He leaned forward, hoping Leah would believe in the sincerity of what came next. “Like I said, I know I didn’t treat you very well.” He looked down at his lap, his earlier unease renewing itself and thickening his throat. His words came out raspy. “I guess I needed to put some distance between myself and what you were saying, and the way I chose to do that was to talk to you as if your only investment was as an employee.” He coughed. “I’m embarrassed at how I behaved.” Heat crawled up his neck. “I completely dismissed the fact that you loved my parents and cared deeply about what happened to them.”
Leah shrugged. “I do love your parents, Trev, but as an employee, I did my job.”
“I know,” Trev conceded.
“How are your folks?” Leah furrowed her brow.
Trev sat back, breathing easier. Talking about his parents made things simple. “They’re good. In fact, that’s what I wanted to tell you.” Trev’s hope picked up. Maybe it would help her recognize the depth of his gratitude and love if he told her about the benefits his family was reaping because of her decision. “Your actions changed everything for the better. Allison and Mom and Dad and I had to talk about some hard subjects. It seems both Allison and I both kept secrets about Desiree. But we were able to talk about all of it, and things have improved drastically. Allison has started therapy. The APS investigator came, and although we don’t know the outcome yet, we think it’s going to turn out okay.” He ran his fingers through his hair, his story continuing to tumble out. “You should’ve seen Mom. She handled the situation perfectly.” He paused. “She and Dad are keeping to the schedule you started for them. They miss you.” Trev held his breath. What would Leah think?
Leah offered a derisive laugh. “Oh, I doubt that. The last time I saw your mom, she was peeved with me.” She grew serious. “I’m glad your family is on the mend, Trev. Truly, it’s exactly what I wished for you.”
Trev’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, it’s a good turn, but there’s one more thing I regret about all of this.”
Leah tilted her head. “What?”
“I’m sorry for what I said about you and your dad. That needed to be off-limits, and I had no right or business bringing it up.”
Leah’s sighed, her eyes downcast. “It wouldn’t have hurt so much if it hadn’t been true.” She looked up at Trev.
Trev took in her gray eyes, full of regret and maybe even some hope. Sitting so close, he wished to reach for her, but he refrained and settled for leaning forward, his knees on his elbows. “What do you mean?”
Leah bit her lip. “I’ve carried a lot of shame around my family and their poverty. I didn’t think much about it until Justin came along, but it’s always been there. What I did at Paige’s house was wrong. Dad and I had a long talk.” She smiled. “Well, long for Dad. I’ve started to see how much he and Mom have sacrificed for me to go to school and fulfill my dream, even if he never got to recognize his.”
“Leah—”
Leah looked at Trev. “He mentioned you. He said he was sorry for how he’d behaved at Paige’s home.”
Trev nodded. “It’s all right. The whole thing didn’t go very well. I wish all of this would’ve turned out differently.”
Leah agreed. “Yeah, me too.”
He shifted in his seat. “There’s something else.” Trev paused. “I’ve come with a gift.”
Leah shook her head. “Trev, I don’t want the ring. It belongs to you and your family.”
“No. It’s not the ring. I knew you wouldn’t accept it, but I do want to help you with medical school.” The goodness of Trev’s decision rested upon him, and his doubts fled. “I sold the ring, and I opened an account in both of our names, but the money is yours, and if you want to replace me with Paige or someone else, I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need. In the meantime, you can draw on it starting today.” He pulled the thick envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Leah, desperate for her to accept. “Please, Leah. I owe you so much.”
Leah stood and folded her arms. “You don’t owe me anything, Trev. You paid me for my work of taking care of your parents. That’s the only contract between us. I’ve done what any caregiver would do. I’m glad things have turned out so well, but it’s not because of me. Other families would’ve collapsed under the strain. Yours took it as a step forward. That’s not mine to celebrate. It’s yours.”
Trev stood, moving closer, longing to pull Leah to his chest and bury his nose in her hair before running his fingers along Leah’s spine to the petal softness of her neck. The heady scent of the flowers wafted toward him and mingled with the floral aroma of Leah’s shampoo and crushed roses. It was almost too much. His voice turned husky. “Maybe,” he said. “But I still owe you more than the contract between us.”
Leah moved away from him. “No. You don’t.”
The absence of her after being so near felt like a slap. “Let me explain.”
Leah gave him a curious look.
“Things were rough at first. Mom was angry with you. Dad was furious with Allison. Everything around Desiree came rushing back. I didn’t understand how you could do something like this without telling me first.”
“I did tell you first!” Leah cried. “I didn’t call APS until after I left your house. I tried to tell you. I wanted us to work together!”
Trev blinked, remorse blotting out any further hope for him and Leah. “I didn’t let you speak much, did I?”
“No. Not really.” Leah looked down.
Trev nodded. “I’m ashamed of how I behaved.”
Leah smiled, but it didn’t fully reach her eyes. “I appreciate the apology, Trev, especially since I’ve had to make one of my own to Dad. I know the kind of bravery it takes.” She walked toward the door. “Thank you for coming by and bringing the flowers.” She tilted her head. “I promise to think about the money, and I’ll let you know what I decide, but it might take me a while. I’m going to focus on getting everything packed and trying to find a temporary job. Can you give me about a month?”
“Of course. Although you can use the money now and stay in your place,” Trev suggested.
“That’s a sweet gesture,” Leah said. “But I’m ready to go home.” She stood by the door.
Trev reluctantly followed, placing the thick envelope of account information on the table, next to the flowers. “Thanks for considering the money and for letting me in.” He drew close. Now to share those things written in his heart that went beyond flowers and apologies. His hope had plummeted in their shared few minutes, but if he didn’t at least try, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. “Leah, I’d like nothing more—”
Leah met his gaze, taking Trev’s breath away. Her bright gray eyes were muted with pain and anguish. She took his hands. “I know, Trev.” Her smile was full of sad regret. “But if anything, we’re probably better off as friends.” She removed her hands. “When it comes to anything deeper, you need to be with someone who understands your way of life. Someone who’s your … equal in ways I’ll never be. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that.”
Trev furrowed his brow in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t mean I’m not as good as you. It’s not that. It’s just that you and I have always run in very different circles. I’d never fit in with your fancy friends—”
Trev offered a laugh with a hint of anxiety. He didn’t want to lose her. Not now, when he’d come so close, and he’d seen the look of love and longing in her eyes. “I don’t have any friends, fancy or otherwise.” He grew serious. “You’re my friend, Leah.”
Leah smiled. “I’m glad for that, Trev, but someday, you’ll have a family of your own and friends to go along with all of the trimmings, and they won’t come from my side of town. We’ll be down on the floor, cleaning up broken glass.” Her look was direct and open. “I used to be ashamed of that, but I’m not anymore. The fact i
s, if I wasn’t an employee, there isn’t anything in this world that would’ve brought us together.”
A shiver of panic ran through Trev. “None of that matters to me, Leah. That’s Justin talking.”
Leah opened the door. “No. That’s Allison talking, and it’s you. I appreciate the apology, Trev. You don’t know how much it means to me, but ultimately, there’s this truth that stands between us. I was an employee. An employee who had no business getting personally involved with the son of a client.” Gently, she reached up and caressed Trev’s cheek, her sad smile full of heartbroken acceptance.
Trev grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart. Did she feel it beating strong and desperate? “Don’t do this, Leah. Please. I love you,” he blurted out.
Leah blinked tears away. “And I love you, too.”
Trev’s heart soared. Had he heard her right? She loved him! He didn’t want to hear any more. But her tone told him this wasn’t the happy declaration he wanted it to be.
Leah continued, “But love isn’t always enough, Trev.”
“It can be.” Trev desperately clung to that hope.
Gently, she folded herself into his arms, but some part of her held back. Trev pulled her close, wanting all of her. Instead, she drew away and gently kissed him on the cheek. “Please go,” she whispered.
Trev stared at her tear-stained face, hoping she’d change her mind, but her eyes showed him nothing but determined misery. He nodded, but he couldn’t make himself move. Instead, he gazed at her, their eyes locking; the string between them knotted tight. “Leah,” he whispered.
Leah wiped her cheeks. “Please.”
Quietly, he turned away and began making his way to his car. When he looked back, she was closing the door behind him.
Folding himself into the BMW, he still carried the sweet warmth of Leah’s body pressing against his. It lingered as if mocking him with the distance she now put between them. His hope of a reconciliation had always been a long shot, but now, standing on that precipice of promises that would never be made, it was no secret that Trev had carried more than an apology and flowers to Leah. He’d offered his heart, and she’d given him a piece of hers. She’d offered him friendship. But he didn’t want just some small part of Leah. More than anything, he wished for her to be vibrantly alive by his side as a companion and partner. He wished for her love. He wanted all of her.
Chapter 30
Leah moved the last box into her childhood bedroom. Her parents were at work, and her sisters were downtown, trying to squeeze a bit of fun out of the last couple weeks of summer.
Exhaling, Leah looked around the small room as memories crowded around her much like the stacked boxes. Endless study sessions and discussions about finances had taken place while she’d sat at her little three-cornered desk. A nostalgic smile came to her as she considered her younger self; so full of hope and intense dedication. Those traits came from her father and they’d carried her through three years of nursing school.
So much had changed since those high school days, but more had changed just in the last few months. Leah finally recognized with gratitude the gifts that came from her parents and it wasn’t all financial. Leah claimed her mother’s patient way with people and her father’s persistent tenacity. None of these realizations would’ve come to her if it weren’t for Trev, who pointed out how wrong she’d been in how she dealt with her father.
The wistful melancholy accompanied her thoughts of Trev was becoming familiar. Its gloom penetrating every recollection of him, including their last time together. It dimmed every part of her life, even the afternoon sun that brightened the room with its sweet pink walls and wood floors.
Leah hadn’t mentioned Trev’s visit to her family, nor the money that waited in a bank. After he’d left, she’d read every word about the account. True to his promise, he’d deposited enough money for her to attend at least two years of medical school.
She reconsidered the money for the thousandth time. Did she want to be financially tied to Trev through the years? As she considered a future without his presence, the thought of being bound to him in any way other than sharing their love brought nothing but sorrow and anguish. Even if she removed his name from the account, she’d still think of him with every withdrawal. It would keep the string between them intact and taut. How could she stand by and watch him begin dating again and one day eventually marry? The thought made her chest tight with heartache.
In the three weeks since she’d seen Trev, she’d expected the longing for him to dissipate with absence and the busyness of her life. Instead, her wish for him deepened. He was her first morning thought. As soon as her eyes fluttered open, memories of Trev eased into that gauzy suspension between sleep and wakefulness. She loved those few seconds, when they were still a couple and all was right in her world. She longed to make them last by burrowing into her covers, but eventually, the day called, and with it came the sharp reality that she and Trev had parted ways at her request.
Her father stepped through her open door, startling her. “I didn’t hear you come home.”
He sat at the chair next to her desk. “I just got here. Any luck in the job search?”
Leah brightened, pushing all concerns about Trev to the back of her mind. There were some things that made her happy. “Yeah. I got an on-call position at Highbury until school starts late September. They didn’t give me any promises, but because it’s the tail end of summer, they’ve told me that I could be covering for some last-minute vacations. I start tomorrow. I hope they’ll take me on during the Christmas holiday, too.”
“You’ll do a great job.” Her father crossed his ankle over his knee. “Still, I know there’s something bothering you, honey. Is it Trev?”
Leah slid back into the fog of misery. Trev’s apology left her conflicted. He hadn’t just recognized the hurt he’d caused, but he had also owned his own behavior. Allison, on the other hand …
A bold determination took root. Even though she and Trev loved each other, she’d made the right decision. She didn’t need Allison’s approval to love Trev, but Allison played a large role in the family, and Leah refused to battle her for Trev’s affections or loyalties.
“Yeah. I miss him. I thought we had a future, and we knew we loved each other.”
Her father’s face furrowed in helpless concern.
Leah brightened for his sake. “But don’t worry, Dad. I’ll be okay. I’ll start school soon and be so deep in studies, I won’t have time to worry about him.”
“I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. It was wrong of me to think you could go through school without companionship.”
She gave her dad a hug. “This isn’t your fault.” She tried to tease. “But I do appreciate what you’re saying, because someday, I may just bring home another young man.” Leah expected the idea to be pleasurable, but it only left her feeling tired and empty.
Her father took in a deep breath. “Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll try to be better prepared next time.”
Leah brushed her bleak thoughts aside and grinned. “I’m counting on that, Dad.”
Her father smiled back. “I’ve got to tinker with the truck for a little bit. Does your car need any work?”
“I’m not sure. I think it’s fine.”
“Why don’t you give me the keys, and I’ll take a look?”
“Sure thing.” Leah dug around in her purse for her keys and threw them to her father. “Thanks for looking after the car.”
He moved toward the door. “You bet. See you in a bit.”
She heard the front door of the house quietly open and close.
Her thoughts turned back to Trev, and she touched the pale pink wall of her bedroom. The barrier between her and Trev was as real as this surface, and Allison was part of that impediment. But the larger issues of class, wealth, and poverty were even bigger than Allison. And even though Leah wished for a do-over with Allison, whatever was said wouldn’t change what stood between Leah and
the Michaels family.
Trev had been willing to put that all aside for their shared love. But Leah didn’t have that luxury. The issues Allison so handily pointed out could easily come between parents, siblings, and even spouses, poisoning families as children came into the world. And as badly as Leah wanted to be part of Trev’s life, she refused to consign him to an endless life of tension and strife mushrooming from the divide that already existed between her and his sister.
The sacrifice brought no relief. Instead, it emptied her of all joy while filling her with a new and bitter anguish that promised to last in some form for the rest of her life.
Chapter 31
Trev stared at the screen and tried to read the lawyer’s email about the Colorado litigation for the third time. They were requesting his signature in order to move forward with the court case. He’d talked with his father and Austin about the plan, and they were all in agreement. Everything was in order for them to proceed, but Trev had lost his ability to fully concentrate on anything.
He’d hired a new assistant for his parents. Lori was well-qualified and helpful. He’d hoped for a man, but none applied. He liked Lori well enough. She was kind, considerate, and efficient, and she kept his parents moving forward using Leah’s earlier plan of progression. His parents enjoyed her, but Lori’s presence didn’t fill them with the same enthusiasm for life as Leah had. Lori and Allison actually talked, and Trev was grateful. Allison’s participation in their parents’ healthcare and her acceptance of Lori reduced the tension in the house. The difference astounded him.
In the month since Allison had begun seeing a therapist, she’d changed. She openly talked of Desiree and even laughed at some funny memories she shared with the family. They’d played a game of Scrabble together last night. Allison’s soul was coming home, and all of that was heartening. But nothing filled the empty place left by Leah.
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