by R E Swirsky
CHAPTER 6
Friday 20:25 Calgary, Alberta, Canada
“Shit!”
Michael was back in his tiny dorm room pacing about wildly and bumping into things: his desk, the couch, and many other obstacles. He stared down at his phone in a confused daze. Lucy was gone, snatched away violently right in front of him.
“Voicemail again.”
How could he let her slip away like that? The events from a few hours ago pulsated about in a scrum inside his head, and he just couldn’t sort through the mayhem of thoughts that spewed forth, tugging and pushing at his emotions.
Leave a message. No, you can’t! But you must. Don’t do it! Call her again and leave the message! No! C’mon, Michael, make a decision.
He mashed his fists up to his temples and slammed at them over and over again.
“Stop it! Just stop it! Shhhhh! Shut up!” It had been a long time since the voices had thrust themselves up and hovered so vividly above the surface like this, taunting and challenging his every thought and decision.
“It’s just anxiety. Shushhh. That’s what they said.” He slowed his fists and gently massaged his temples to calm himself. It’ll pass, it always does. Stop talking to me.
Michael remained under Lucy’s bed for nearly three hours. When he finally did come out, he crept out slowly like some cold-blooded lizard, his naked belly slipping across the linoleum and gathering up dust and old dirt with each push. He stole a peek down the short hall outside Lucy’s bedroom while stepping one foot into his underwear, nearly falling over as his toe caught the seam of the leg opening. He fell against the door frame of her bedroom to steady himself while he reinserted his foot and stared out at the mess. The front door was ajar, and many splinters of the wooden frame were strewn across the floor. The residue of the violent abduction terrified him, and his mind swirled as it tried to sort out all that had happened. He tugged the elastic waistband of his underwear up tight and rummaged under the bed for the rest of his clothes, finding everything but one sock. He dressed quickly, ignoring the misplaced sock, sidestepped the broken pieces of door frame, and exited her apartment, locking and then pulling the door closed quietly behind him. He tested the door. The lock was broken, useless without the door frame, but the door stayed shut. He moved tepidly down the stairs, listening and measuring each step carefully in case someone was lying in wait down below, but he came across no one.
Michael burst out through the rear entrance and into the night. Blood pulsed and pounded inside his brain. He felt weakened, like he was hungover. The images from earlier seemed to lose clarity with each passing minute, dissolving like fleeting memories from some horrible nightmare. A fog had drifted in and settled upon the root of his thoughts. It had been a long time since the fog settled in so thick, and out of the fog came the sounds he recognized and learned to hate. The whispers had returned.
Now back in his dorm room, he plunked himself down onto the small, discoloured couch, which was stained and soiled with beer, food, and other unmentionable liquids. He dropped his head into his hands. “What the hell…Think!” he shouted aloud. He pounded his fists against his temples again. “Think.…”
Michael really had no idea what to do or who to call. He didn’t even really understand what had happened. All he knew was Lucy was gone and Johnny was responsible.
Johnny. Find Johnny.
“Johnny who?” he uttered. His words bounced back from the wall and slapped him. He had no idea what Johnny’s last name was. How was he supposed to chase down a man with no name?
He picked up his phone and scrolled slowly through all his contacts, looking at each one until he stopped on his father’s number.
“No, I can’t. Not yet.” There was something troubling about Lucy’s sudden abduction that made him fear confessing anything about the incident to his father. Hiding under her bed and doing nothing made him feel like he was somehow responsible for what happened.
You just hid there. You did nothing. You should have gone out to help her!
“Shut up,” he whispered.
Coward.
More names flicked by as he continued to scroll through the rest of his contacts. With final exams all completed, every friend he could think of had already packed up and left for home. Friday, one more week from now, he too was to be packed up and gone like the others. Was there anyone left on campus to call?
“Damn it.” He closed his contact list and stuffed the phone into his pocket.
His thoughts returned to Johnny. How was he even able to point a finger at Johnny if he knew nothing about him?
“I was the last one in her room.”
What was said in her apartment now seemed just a bad, hazy memory. He massaged his temples slowly and tried his best to recall.
“Lucy said it was over.”
Remember the sound of the door frame exploding and splintering apart?
Everything was a blur. Who could he call for help? Was there anyone he could trust nearby, off-campus?
The ri-i-i-i-i-i-p sound of the duct tape being torn.
Michael shivered at the thought.
Who’s going to believe you, Michael? You kept your relationship with her a secret. Why did you do that, Michael?
“Shut…up.…”
And then she fell, didn’t she? Right in front of you. She fell.
“I said shut up! She was pushed, that’s why she fell.
Why didn’t you tell anyone about her?
“Be discreet,” he mumbled to the empty room. “Lucy said to be discreet. I was discreet, and did exactly what she asked. I told no one about us. No one.”
Just another geeky stalker gone bad. That’s how they’ll write about you in the papers.
The thought horrified him.
His many friends could easily testify to how he obsessed over Lucy since the start of the year. He coveted every glance and passing moment dearly, and boasted and replayed each chance encounter to his mates.
“But I didn’t do anything.”
You were hiding.
Remember how you used to talk about her to your friends, Michael? You do remember, don’t you?
“Shut up.”
She talked to me again today.
She said ‘hi’ to me this morning.
“I said shut up!”
Now what would a girl like her see in a geeky, scrawny guy like you?
“Stop it, I said! Just stop it!” A floodgate of tears readied itself to break open.
Did you tell her how she makes you do that thing at night before you go to sleep. Did you?
“No!” he screamed. “I don’t do that anymore!”
Where is she, Michael? Where’s Lucy?
“Johnny took her.”
But Johnny wasn’t there. Remember, Michael?
Was it true? Was Johnny there? Now that he thought about it, he never heard Johnny at all through the fracas.
“But it’s Johnny’s fault. I know it is.”
So what are you going to do about it, Michael?
“I’m going to find her, that’s what I’m going to do.”
The voice in his head went quiet. He listened for a rebuttal, but it had no reply.
“I’m going to find you, Lucy. I am. Please hold on. Please,” he said and wondered where to begin. What did he even have to work with?
“What proof do I even have about any piece of what happened?”
He paused, expecting another whisper from his brain, but again it remained silent. He pondered a moment.
“Proof,” he said softly. He slid one hand into the pocket of his jeans. His fingers closed around the key Lucy had given him to her apartment and he knew what he had to do. Only a few hours had passed and the thought of revisiting the scene horrified him, but he knew had no choice.
He slipped out of his room and moved down the hall to the elevator. A quick glance up at the elevator numbers above told him the elevator was on the lobby floor and on its way up. The light indicating the first floor went out and the light to
the second floor lit up.
A voice whispered in his ear.
Here comes Johnny.
Panic stabbed through his gut as he realized he hadn’t yet pressed the button to call for the elevator.
“No it’s not,” he whispered, but even as the words came out, he doubted them.
Johnny.
The apartment block was nearly empty of students. He took one step back from the elevator.
Could it be? Could Johnny have known he was hiding under the bed the whole time? Had Johnny spotted him?
The light blinked as the elevator rose up another floor. Only one more to go.
Run, Michael.
This time Michael listened to the voice and raced down the hall into the stairwell. The ding of the elevator chimed just as he slammed open the door and flung himself inside the concrete stairwell. He didn’t dare look back to see who came out and charged down the five flights of stairs, taking them two and three at a time until he was at the bottom.
Michael burst out from the stairwell into the small lobby. It was empty. He moved cautiously towards the glass front doors and peered outside at the walkways, benches, and grassy areas. All were eerily deserted under the night sky, lit only by the street lamps that lined the campus pathways. Michael pushed open the door, stepped outside into the cool dark of night, and ran. He dared not look back, his feet carrying him as fast as they were able until he was completely off campus and blocks away towards Lucy’s.
Run, Michael!
