She sat down at the desk, refusing to admit that she was being unfair to him. Maybe she didn’t have any proof, but everything Daniel did, he did for a reason. Look at the way he had pursued her five years ago. At the time, it had seemed that their feelings had arisen so spontaneously that she had never questioned if his were genuine. Even after they’d parted she had clung to the belief that he had genuinely felt something for her, although obviously not enough to put her before his precious career. It had taken a while before she had accepted that he had merely used her feelings for him to get her into his bed.
Emma bit her lip. It might have happened a long time ago, but it still hurt to know that she had been nothing more to him than a convenient and willing bedmate.
CHAPTER SIX
THE week came to an end and Saturday arrived. As Daniel made his way downstairs, he couldn’t help wishing there was a morning surgery that day. At least if he was working, he could stay out of Emma’s way.
He sighed as he went into the kitchen. To say that relations between him and Emma were strained was an understatement. She only spoke to him when it was absolutely necessary and even then it was hard to get more than a dozen words out of her. He had hoped that her attitude towards him might be softening after he’d been to visit her uncle, but obviously not. He wished he could think of a way to ease the situation but it was impossible when every time he tried to talk to her, she cut him dead.
He filled the kettle with water and popped some bread into the toaster, wondering for the umpteenth time how he could gain her trust. He wasn’t a threat to her, yet she insisted on treating him like some kind of pariah, and it was very hard to take. He knew that he had hurt her but he’d been hurt too; it didn’t seem fair that he should have to suffer when he had been trying to do what was right.
Daniel gave himself a brisk mental shake. Feeling sorry for himself wouldn’t help. What he needed was something to take his mind off the situation and put him in a more positive frame of mind. It was a glorious day and a good long walk in the hills should blow away a lot of cobwebs.
He made himself a pot of coffee then sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. He had almost finished when Emma appeared and he sighed when he saw her stop as soon as she spotted him sitting at the table. Even the local axe murderer would receive a warmer welcome than him! He dropped the last piece of toast back onto his plate and stood up.
‘Just give me a couple of seconds to wash my dishes and I’ll get out of your way.’
‘There’s no need,’ she said sharply. ‘You’re perfectly entitled to finish your breakfast.’
‘Thank you.’ It was impossible to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. ‘However, I seem to have lost my appetite all of a sudden.’
He carried his dishes over to the sink. He knew that Emma was still standing in the doorway and felt pain stab through him. Had it reached the point now where she couldn’t even bear to be in the same room as him?
The thought seemed to set light to his temper and he turned on the tap with far more force than was necessary. A jet of water hit the edge of his cup and bounced back up, soaking the front of his T-shirt. Daniel cursed under his breath as he hastily turned off the water. That was all he needed!
‘Here.’
A hand suddenly appeared, offering him a towel. Daniel took it, trying to hide his surprise at such a conciliatory gesture. He mopped the front of his T-shirt then glanced round. Emma was standing beside him and for the first time in days she wasn’t giving off the usual icy vibes. She looked up and his breath caught when he saw that her lips were twitching.
‘That tap’s always been a nuisance. I’ve had the odd soaking over the years,’ she told him, struggling to contain her amusement.
‘I doubt if you’ve been as wet as I am,’ he replied drolly, shaking his head so that beads of water flew out of his hair.
‘No, I haven’t.’ She gave a choked little gurgle. ‘I know I shouldn’t laugh, but if you’d seen the expression on your face …’
She burst out laughing and Daniel felt the cold knotty feeling that had been building up inside him for days suddenly start to unravel. He grinned at her, his hazel eyes sparkling with amusement.
‘Think it’s funny to see someone almost drowning, do you?’
‘Yes … I mean, no. Of course not.’ She bit her lip, doing her best to behave with suitable decorum.
Daniel chuckled wickedly. Turning on the tap, he scooped up a handful of water. ‘I wonder how funny you’d find it if you were on the receiving end of an impromptu shower?’
‘Daniel, you wouldn’t!’
‘Oh, wouldn’t I?’ He let a few drops of water dribble onto her bare arm, grinning when he heard her squeal in alarm. ‘Are you sure about that?’
‘Yes, I am.’ She stared up at him and he could see the conviction in her eyes. ‘You wouldn’t be that cruel!’
‘No, I wouldn’t.’ He opened his hand and let the water flow into the sink, feeling the knotty feeling start to build up inside him again. ‘It’s good to know that you don’t think I’m completely rotten to the core, Emma.’
She didn’t say anything to that and he didn’t wait around while she thought of something either. He left the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time as he headed for his room. Why in heaven’s name had he said that, let her know how much it hurt to be treated as an outcast? It wouldn’t achieve anything, definitely wouldn’t improve her opinion of him. The last thing he wanted was for it to appear as though he was looking for sympathy!
He cursed roundly, stopping dead when he heard a knock on the door. Striding across the room, he flung it open, too angry with himself to care about putting up a front. ‘Yes?’
‘I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.’ Her voice was so low that it was a moment before Daniel realised what she had said. He frowned, unsure where this was leading. ‘You’re sorry?’
‘Yes. About the way I … I’ve behaved recently.’ She tipped back her head and looked him squarely in the eyes. ‘I agreed to call a truce and I haven’t kept to that. I apologise.’
‘I know how difficult this situation is, Emma,’ he said quietly, more touched than he cared to admit. ‘I find it hard, too.’
‘Do you?’ She looked at him in surprise and he sighed.
‘Yes. I can’t just forget what happened five years ago. You meant a lot to me, Emma.’
‘Did I?’
‘Of course you did.’ He frowned when he saw the uncertainty on her face. Surely she must know how he had felt, even though he had pushed her away? He had never tried to hide his feelings—how could he have done? She had meant the whole world to him and all of a sudden it seemed important she understood that.
‘I cared a lot about you, Emma,’ he said quickly, wishing that he didn’t have to use such a milk-and-water term to describe how he’d felt. Claiming he’d cared barely touched on the way he had really felt about her but what else could he say? Admitting that he had loved her with every fibre of his being wasn’t what she wanted to hear. His heart ached as he repeated it with as much conviction as he dared. ‘I really and truly cared about you.’
‘But not as much as you cared about your career.’ She smiled and his heart filled with sadness when he saw the bleakness in her eyes. ‘Don’t worry, Daniel, I understand. And as I said the other day, it’s probably a good thing that we parted. Oh, I won’t pretend that it didn’t hurt at the time because it did. A lot. But I’m both older and wiser, and I can see the problems it would have caused if we’d stayed together.’
‘You would have regretted giving up your dreams of becoming a surgeon?’ he said flatly.
‘Yes. I love my job and I’m good at it, too.’ She gave a little shrug. ‘It was the right decision for both of us.’
‘I’m glad you think so,’ he said roughly. Maybe he should have been relieved to hear her say that, but all he felt was a terrible emptiness. He couldn’t help wishing that he had been brave enough—or foolish enough—to take a chance and se
e what would happen, and it shocked him to find himself entertaining such a crazy idea. It was an effort to concentrate when she continued.
‘I do. I have a job I love, good friends and a nice home. I have everything I want, in fact.’
‘How about love and marriage?’ he asked, then could have bitten off his tongue for asking such a personal question. Emma’s love life had nothing to do with him.
‘Not on my agenda at the present time. It’s hard enough for a woman to establish herself in surgery without adding a husband and a family to the equation, although I haven’t ruled them out completely.’ She shrugged. ‘If they happen at some point down the line, that’s fine, but if not then I can live with it. How about you? Is there anyone special in your life?’
‘No. My job seems to take up most of my time, too,’ he said, not willing to admit that he had never considered the idea of marriage after they had parted.
‘Still determined to set up in private practice one day?’ She smiled but he could tell from her tone what she thought of the idea.
‘Maybe.’ He shrugged, unable to add to his guilt by deliberately misleading her again. ‘Who knows what could happen in the future?’
‘Who, indeed? But I’m sure you’ll do everything in your power to achieve your ambitions, Daniel, won’t you?’
Daniel’s heart sank when he heard the suspicion in her voice. It seemed that their brief moment of harmony was over and they were back to where they had started, with Emma mistrusting his motives. Suddenly, he couldn’t bear it any longer. He had to set matters straight and to hell with the consequences. ‘Look, Emma, you’re completely—’
He never had a chance to finish because at that moment the phone rang. Emma excused herself and went to answer it. Daniel guessed from what she said that it was her aunt calling so went back into his room. He found himself a sweater and a waterproof jacket because the weather was very changeable at this time of the year. Emma was still on the phone when he headed to the stairs; she gave him a curt little nod as he passed her then turned away, concentrating on what her aunt was saying.
Daniel left the house and walked into the town centre; there was a footpath beside the church that led up into the hills. He set off at a brisk pace, hoping the fresh air and exercise would soothe him, but it was hard to enjoy the peace and quiet when his mind was in turmoil. He hated to think that Emma was so suspicious of him but what could he do? He had forfeited her trust when he had told her that his career had meant more to him than she had done, and it was doubtful if he could win it back. Although it hurt like hell, he had to accept that Emma would never trust him again.
Emma found it hard to settle after she’d spoken to her aunt. Aunt Margaret had told her that two of her uncle’s friends were planning on visiting him that afternoon. As the number of visitors to the IC unit was strictly limited, Emma had immediately offered to wait until the following day. Now she had a free day ahead of her and suddenly found herself wondering what to do. Although there were jobs that needed doing in the house, she felt too restless to spend the day indoors. Maybe a walk would help to work off some of her excess energy.
She fetched her jacket and found an old pair of walking boots in the hall cupboard. Although she wasn’t planning on going too far, she found herself taking all the usual precautions that her aunt and uncle had drummed into her over the years. The weather in the Dales could be very changeable and it was better to be prepared rather than come unstuck.
She made some sandwiches and a flask of coffee and packed them into a small haversack. After adding a map and a compass, she checked that her mobile phone was charged. Although reception was patchy in the Dales, it could come in useful. As she let herself out of the back door, she could feel her spirits lifting. It had been ages since she’d been for a good long tramp across the hills and she was suddenly looking forward to it.
The air was cool as she set off across the stile that led to the lower slopes of the hills. There were dozens of footpaths criss-crossing the area, but Emma didn’t hesitate. She’d done this walk many times before and remembered the route even though it had been at least five years since she’d last been along it. She and Daniel had come this way one Sunday morning and had had a picnic at the top of the hill. And after they had finished eating they had made love, right there in the open with only the blue sky above them.
Emma blinked when she realised that she couldn’t see properly. Running her hand over her eyes, she wiped away tears. She wasn’t going to cry, certainly wasn’t going to waste the day by thinking about the past. It was the present that mattered, nothing else. As she’d told Daniel, she liked her life the way it was and was glad that she hadn’t given up her dreams for him.
She walked for almost two hours then decided to stop for a break when she reached Pilgrim’s Point, a local beauty spot. Finding a sheltered area in the lea of the huge rock that marked the spot, she unzipped her jacket and laid it on the ground then sat down. Uncapping the flask, she poured herself a cup of coffee, sighing appreciatively as she inhaled the fragrant aroma. Without the usual traffic fumes to clog up her nose, everything seemed to smell so much better.
She had almost finished the coffee when she heard someone coming along the path close to where she was sitting. It was a popular route with walkers and she wasn’t surprised that someone else had decided to take advantage of the weather. Glancing round, she caught a glimpse of a figure heading towards her before he disappeared into a dip in the land, but it was enough for her to recognise him. What on earth was Daniel doing here? Surely he hadn’t followed her, had he? Emma’s temper was already creeping up the scale when Daniel reappeared. He stopped dead and she saw the surprise on his face when he spotted her.
‘Emma! What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were going to visit your uncle this afternoon?’
‘Some friends of Uncle Jim’s are visiting him so I decided to go for a walk instead,’ she replied curtly. Although it was obvious from his reaction that he hadn’t followed her, she still felt annoyed. She had been hoping for a few Daniel-free hours and it was irritating to have him turn up like this. She glowered at him. ‘I was hoping to enjoy a bit of peace and quiet on my own.’
‘Don’t let me stop you,’ he said calmly, but she saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately felt awful about being so rude. Maybe there wasn’t any love lost between them nowadays but that was no excuse for the way she was behaving.
‘You’re not.’ She gave a little shrug, unable to bring herself to actually apologise. ‘I just stopped for a drink.’
Daniel sniffed the air. ‘Ah, so that explains it. I thought I could smell coffee as I was coming along the path but decided I was hallucinating.’ He smiled at her and her heart lifted when she saw the warmth in his eyes. ‘I don’t think any of the coffee-house chains has set up an outlet in the hills yet, have they?’
‘Not so far as I know. It must be an oversight on their behalf,’ Emma said, chuckling.
‘Oh, I’m sure they’ll realise that they’re missing a trick,’ he assured her. ‘Give it a few more months and I expect you’ll be able to buy your double cappuccino with hazelnut syrup on the slopes of Mount Everest!’
Emma laughed out loud. ‘It wouldn’t surprise me. It never fails to amaze me just how many coffee shops there are. Every town and city seems to be awash with them.’
‘I have a theory about that,’ Daniel said gravely. He bent towards her and lowered his voice. ‘I think they’re a front for alien invaders. I mean, think about it. All those hissing and gurgling machines can’t just be making cups of coffee, can they? They’re probably powering up the spaceships that are hidden in the basements.’
It was so ridiculous that Emma couldn’t stop laughing. She clutched her aching sides. ‘Don’t! I feel sick from laughing so much.’
‘Sorry.’ Daniel didn’t sound the least bit repentant. He grinned down at her. ‘I won’t tell you my theory about burger bars, then.’
‘Oh, please, don’t! I don�
�t think I can take any more.’ Emma wiped her streaming eyes and smiled up at him, feeling her breath catch when her gaze met his. Why was Daniel looking at her that way? she wondered dizzily. He didn’t love her; he never had loved her. And yet there was something in his eyes that made her heart start to race.
‘Looks like the weather is about to change.’
He turned to stare across the hills and the moment passed. Emma shuddered as she looked at the black clouds that were amassing on the horizon. Had she imagined it or had Daniel really been looking at her as though she meant the whole world to him?
She took a shaky breath when she realised how ridiculous that idea was. Daniel might care about her but only in the sort of impersonal way he would care about any woman he’d had a relationship with. She would be a fool to imagine it was anything more than that.
Emma stood up abruptly and shrugged on her jacket. Although the sun was still shining, she felt chilled to the bone and knew that it had little to do with the impending storm. Picking up the flask, she offered it to him. ‘There’s some coffee left if you want it.’
‘Thanks.’ He took the flask from her with a smile that held nothing more than gratitude. Unscrewing the lid, he filled the cup and offered it to her first. ‘Do you want some more?’
‘No, thank you. I’ve had more than enough.’
Emma could hear the edge in her voice and hated it because of what it represented. She wanted to remain indifferent to Daniel, to not allow him to affect her in any way, but it was proving impossible to achieve that. It worried her that she was so responsive to his every mood. If she was over him then she shouldn’t care how he felt about anything. Including her. The thought was too much to deal with on top of everything else.
Summer of Love Page 22
