by T L Swan
“No, it’s not,” I snap. She better not even think about telling me what to do. My contempt for my mother and the way she previously treated Natasha is a huge hurdle for me at the moment, one I don’t know how to get over.
I pick up the protein shake that Birgetta has made for me from the kitchen bench and I head to the door. “See you all tonight,” I call.
“Bye, bye,” everyone replies and I can hear the relief in their voices at my sudden turnaround.
I walk to the door with my duffle bag over my shoulder and Ben’s eyes scan the bag when I reach the car.
“What’s in the bag?” he asks.
“Gym gear,” I reply flatly as I throw it into the back seat and slide in behind it.
He narrows his eyes at me. “You hate the work gym.”
“I need a change,” I snap, annoyed that I can get nothing past him.
“At the work gym,” he repeats sarcastically.
“Will you just shut the fuck up and drive me to work? What’s it to you where I work out?” I snap.
He shakes his head and raises his eyebrows questioningly and from the back seat I can almost hear his brain ticking.
After a very long and silent drive through the city we finally arrive at our destination and are buzzed through security. I head up to my office, Ben walking behind me and not letting me out of his sight, and I know if I try to get rid of him he will only get more suspicious. I nod in greeting to all the staff I see on my way to my office. Nobody is game enough to actually speak to me. We get to the office and I smile. “Thanks Ben. I will call you if I need to go anywhere.”
His eyes hold mine for a moment. “You ok?” He frowns.
I nod and readjust my suit coat. “Fine,” I reply without looking at him—he’s so onto me.
I wait for ten minutes until I am sure he has gone to see his security staff down the hall and I slip out of my office and, carrying my duffle bag, disappear into the emergency stairwell. I need to get this package to the mailroom on level three. I run down the steps until I reach level three and take the package out of my bag and leave my overnight bag in the staircase. I exit the staircase and try to look as casual as I can carrying my precious packages. The address of the safety deposit is written on a label on the front, along with the delivery receipt for the courier. I even hacked a visa of a stranger last night to pay for the delivery.
I walk into the mailroom and see a young man I have never met before. “Hello,” I smile casually.
“Hello,” he replies as he keeps sorting the mail. Thank god, he doesn’t know who I am.
“The courier is coming to pick up this package,” I reply nonchalantly.
“Yeah cool. Just put it with the other packages on the trolley at the end of the bay. The guy normally gets here in around half an hour,” he replies without looking up again.
I nod and walk to the trolley at the end of the bay and hold my most precious possessions in my hand. God, this is risky. What if they get lost? I will never forgive myself. I drop my head as I reconsider my decision. No, Natasha wouldn’t want anyone else to read these. She deserves respect in death and they need to be somewhere safe. I put them into the basket and close my eyes in pain and then with renewed purpose and with my heart trying to beat out of my chest I walk out of the mailroom and back to my hell in the stairwell.
It’s two o’clock and I shake my head as my email pings for what seems like the hundredth time today. I have just finished downloading all the videos and text messages from Tash off my phone into my cloud for lifetime protection. I can never lose those. I click open the email in annoyance. Adrian.
Joshua Stanton/ Cc.Tiffany Nelson
As a matter of urgency please supply me with the training schedule for the next four weeks for the interns. Training schedules and timetables will be printed up tomorrow morning by Tiffany to be distributed tomorrow pm.
Tiffany, please block yourself tomorrow morning to have these completed by 12 pm for my perusal.
Adrian Murphy
I roll my eyes, fucker.
I storm into his office. “I know what you are doing,” I snap.
Adrian is standing and looking through a file. His eyes don’t leave his folder. “And what’s that?” he replies sarcastically.
“Trying to overload me with work so I don’t have time to think,” I stammer, infuriated. “I can’t have those schedules done today. I have put no thought into what I am doing.”
His eyes look up from his folder. “Looks like you’re working back then. Start thinking,” he replies.
I narrow my eyes at him and he looks at me blankly. “Go back into your office and start working on them. You know, finger on keyboard,” he replies flatly.
“Fuck you,” I murmur under my breath as I turn to walk out in annoyance and he smiles warmly, the door opens in front of me and Cameron walks in.
“Can we go to a bar?” he blurts out.
I smirk. “Why?”
He shakes his head angrily and drops into a seat at Adrian’s desk. “So the police have just turned up at both of your houses with search warrants,” he replies.
I sit on the corner of the desk, and relief fills me that I got the diaries out just in time. I nod.
“What the hell for?” Adrian snaps.
Cameron shakes his head in frustration. “Evidence. Clues. I don’t fucking know.”
I stare straight ahead. I knew this was coming. I don’t know why it’s taken this long
“Where are the girls?” I ask.
“Abbie’s dumbfuck cop root is one of the policemen doing the search so she is following him around. Bridget is chucking a tantrum and not letting them touch any of Natasha’s things.”
I smile at the thought of Bridget telling them off—she’s more like Natasha than we all know.
“Mum is crying and telling them to find the killer and stop wasting time searching the house,” Cameron snaps. “Seriously, I want to go to a bar and get fucking maggot drunk.” He shakes his head. “I can’t take one more day of shit,” he stammers
I smirk again. “I can’t. I’ve got things to do,” I reply. I think this is the most normal conversation I have had in a month.
Adrian buzzes Tiffany. “Tiffany, Joshua and I are leaving for the afternoon and please ignore that last email I sent you. I have the dates wrong.” My eyes meet his.
“Of course, Adrian,” she replies.
“Maggot drunk sounds really good right now,” Adrian snaps as he takes his jacket from the back of his chair and puts it on.
“Come on Stan, we are out and we are on it.”
It’s 8 pm and we are in a Mexican bar eating nachos as we drink margaritas in homage to my girl.
Cameron puts his hand up for another round.
“These suckers have a punch.” Adrian frowns as he looks at his glass.
I nod. I’m feeling quite inebriated. “Yep,” I stammer.
“What do you reckon they were looking for?” Cameron narrows his eyes as he goes over his conspiracy theory.
“I think they just want to see the surroundings that she lived in and stuff,“ Adrian replies.
“Willowvale though?” Cameron scoffs.
I scroll through my phone and notice I have an email I have been waiting for. My heart drops and I open it.
It’s from the county council.
Dear Mr Stanton
We are very sorry to hear of your loss and would like to extend to you our sincere condolences.
In regards to your application your application has been successful and aligned with a class CVB license.
You have permission to bury your late wife on the property of Willowvale.
All preparations will need to be in accordance with regulations and carried out by a certified practitioner.
If you have any questions in regard to this matter please contact our office during office hours.
Ray CunninghamCounty District Court House
I drop my head.
“What are you reading?” Camer
on asks.
I pick up my glass and drain it. “I have permission to bury Tash at Willowvale.”
Their faces both drop.
“Too bad I don’t have her body to bury,” I sneer.
Cameron drains his glass and puts his hand up for another as I drop my head in my hands as my elbows rest on the table.
Adrian frowns as he thinks out loud. “Do you think they left her in the water?”
I shake my head as I think and my eyes flick outside to the guards all waiting near the door.
“Yeah, I think so,” Cameron answers. “She was asleep and wouldn’t have felt anything. The level of Rohypnol in her blood was much higher than in yours, although you were given it earlier than her.”
I stare into space as I think and the feeling of overwhelming loss starts to register again. A sad silence falls over the table.
“At least she didn’t suffer,” Adrian whispers sadly.
“Do you think I should have a funeral for her now? I was hoping they would find her so I could do it properly.” I frown.
Adrian shrugs. “Probably… I don’t know.”
“I think it would be good for her mother and Bridget if they had a funeral service,” I mutter. “Might bring them some closure.”
The table falls silent again and the waitress brings us another round of margaritas and we take them thankfully. I wait until she leaves and I raise my glass.
“I would like to make a toast.” My thoughts go to the toast I was supposed to be making at our wedding and I blow out a deep breath. “My darling Natasha, today could have been a monumental day in our lives but instead I am sitting in a bar drinking your favourite drink and discussing your burial status.” My eyes tear up. “I desperately wish we were drinking tea and celebrating our news,” I whisper.
The boys both frown. “What news?” Cameron asks.
“Natasha’s period was due today. We were trying for a baby,” I reply on autopilot.
“Fuck,” Cameron whispers as he runs his hands through his hair.
Adrian’s eyes instantly tear up and he grabs my hand over the table. I sit still, unable to show any emotion. I have no tears left, nothing more I can give up. I am dead inside.
Cameron puts his elbow on the table and pinches the bridge of his nose as his tears form. “Do you think she was pregnant?” he whispers.
I shake my head. “I doubt it. We had only been trying for a week.”
They both sit still, their sad eyes fixed on my face.
“She wrapped up her pill packet and the keys to the LA house and gave them to me for a wedding present. She wanted to move to Willowvale,” I mutter flatly.
Cameron’s haunted eyes watch me. “Joshua, I swear to you, if it’s the last thing I do, I am going to find who did this.”
Adrian nods.
The darkness overwhelms me. “And when you do Cameron, it is going to be my hands that kill them,” I whisper.
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, Joshua,” Adrian whispers, mortified.
I hold his eyes with mine. “No, they don’t, but they can make me able to live with myself. She didn’t deserve this. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Except you.” Cameron smirks. “She loved fucking you up.”
I smile broadly and nod. “Yes. Yes she did.”
“Yeah, you do look a bit like a fly.” Cameron frowns.
“A maggot even.” Adrian smirks.
“Wasn’t that the plan of the evening?” I smirk.
Cameron raises his glass. “To maggotism.” He smiles.
I smirk and my dear friends and I raise our glasses: “To maggotism.”
It’s 11 pm when we walk in the door. Bridget comes down the stairs on a mission.
“Are you for real?” she whispers angrily. “You couldn’t come home? We have been here dealing with the police all day and you go to a fucking bar.”
Cameron shakes his head. “Fuck off, Didge. Not in the mood,” he replies as we walk to the kitchen.
I sit at the kitchen bench as my head starts to slowly spin and Cameron makes himself some breakfast cereal.
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“Abbie is out with the dick of a cop. Who I hate,” she snaps.
Cameron holds his spoon of cornflakes in the air. “Me too,” he chimes in drunkenly. “Hate him, hate him,” he slurs.
“Our parents have gone to bed traumatised. Where’s Ben?” she snaps.
Cameron and I exchange looks. “Why?” Cameron snaps.
“Because I’m going to break his fucking neck, that’s why.”
Cameron laughs and chokes on his cereal.
“Why now?” He laughs.
She narrows her eyes. “Because tonight when I texted you and you said you were at a bar, I thought it was a bad idea and so I rang Ben and he wouldn’t pick up my call. Who in the hell does that guy think he is?”
Cameron points his spoon at the door and smiles stupidly. “You should go tell him off, in front of the other guards. Right now. Do it.”
I drop my head and smile. Fuck Cameron is a troublemaker.
Bridget puts her hands on her hips angrily. “You just want to get rid of me, Dr Dickhead.”
Cameron points his spoon at her. “Bingo.” He smiles as he shovels in his food.
“God, you’re so fucking annoying,” she snaps as she storms out the front to find Ben.
Cameron shakes his head and with a mouthful of food mumbles, “Poor prick, she’d be a bitch I reckon.”
I smile and shake my head and then hear some male voices I don’t know outside the front door.
“No, you cannot come in,” I hear Bridget’s raised voice reply.
Cameron and I frown at each other and I stand and make my way to the front door where I see four policemen talking to Ben and the security guards on the driveway. One of them catches my eye and immediately stops his conversation.
“Mr Stanton.” He nods.
“Hello, can I help you?” I ask.
“Yes, we would like to speak to you,” the officer replies.
I frown. “Have you found her?” I ask hopefully.
The policeman hesitates. “No, I’m sorry we haven’t.”
My heart drops.
“We would like to ask you some questions,” he replies.
I roll my eyes. “This can wait till tomorrow,” I reply. I’m half pissed and furious with these idiots. They are just going round in circles.
The men exchange looks and I storm inside. For four weeks I have seen them dance around and tell me they have this investigation under control. What a joke. Nothing is under control.
They follow me into the house.
“Excuse me,” Bridget snaps. “You were here all day and you are not coming in now. Come back tomorrow at a decent hour,” she snaps.
They exchange looks again.
“Mr Joshua Stanton, you are under arrest for the murder of Natasha Marx,” the officer announces as he takes his handcuffs from his back pocket.
The room falls silent.
“You can’t be serious!” Cameron yells.
“Anything you say can and will be used against you,” he continues.
The two police officers walk over to me and I push one of them away from me in shock. “What?” I yell.
“He didn’t do it, you idiots!” Bridget yells hysterically.
“Bridget, calm down,” Ben whispers.
My father walks down the stairs. “What’s going on?” he asks.
“They are arresting Joshua,” Bridget yells.
His face drops in horror and his eyes find me across the crowded room.
One of the policemen tries to grab my arm and I rip it from his grip. “Get away from me,” I yell.
The policeman shakes his head. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Joshua.”
I screw up my face. “Get the fuck out of my house,” I yell.
Two of the policemen jump me and I struggle and my mother starts to scream as she runs down the
stairs.
“I didn’t do anything,” I yell.
“He’s innocent!” Ben yells. “This is absurd.”
I struggle to break free and I see the gun come from someone’s belt.
“No!” Bridget screams as I fight.
“Mr Stanton, come quietly or we will have to taser you.” The policeman holding the taser gun yells.
“Get out!” Cameron starts to yell. “You are not taking him anywhere.” He starts to struggle with the policeman holding the gun and one of the policemen pulls out his radio. “Back up required,” he snaps. The policeman tries to grab my hand again and I push him so hard he falls onto the floor.
From behind I am hit with an electric current so strong I fall to my knees as I hear the screams of my family. I am paralysed.
“Stop it! Stop it!” Bridget screams. “You will kill him.” She pushes the policeman in the back.
“No, no,” Victoria, Tash’s mum, yells as she runs down the stairs in her pyjamas. “Bridget, stop it,” she yells.
Next thing I know I am in handcuffs being dragged into the back of the paddy wagon to the sounds of screaming.
Electricity is running through my body like fire… burning me from within.
The door slams with a thud… and I am alone in the darkness.
Chapter 22
Adrian
I am just drifting off into sleep when my phone rings. “Hmm, go away,” I murmur into my pillow. I’m frigging exhausted.
“Hello,” I answer groggily.
“Get over here!” Cameron yells.
I sit up instantly. “What’s happened?” I stammer. “What’s he done?”
“Joshua got arrested for Natasha’s murder,” he yells.
With my heartbeat racing through my chest I feel relief at that news—it could be worse. I’m half scared he’s got something else in mind. Then the knowledge sinks in. “What?” I frown. “Joshua,” I repeat.
“Who is our fucking lawyer?” Cameron screams.
Oh shit, I jump out of bed while rubbing my eyes. What now? “Um.” I shake my head as I try to remember his name. “I’m on my way.”
