by M. J. O'Shea
Gray felt the back of his neck heat up. “What did Arlo tell you?”
“Nothing I hadn’t mostly guessed already so if you think you’re going to get all pissed at him for finally confiding in someone, realize you’ll be limping over there to yell at him with my footprint in your butt. And you’ll deserve it.”
“I think it’s time for you to go home for dinner,” Gray muttered. “You and I, we’re not doing this.”
“You love him. And I know he loves you because he told me he did. He’s miserable. You’re miserable.”
“It wouldn’t have ever worked between us.” Gray sighed. He still felt that yearning feeling when he smelled Arlo on the chilly November breeze, he remembered his kiss, his touch, the way he giggled when they kissed. He wanted Arlo with every fiber of his being, but it just…
“Don’t be a moron. Nothing in your life has ever worked as well as you and Arlo together. He made you so happy. It was like you’d finally come back to life.”
“He’s a…”
“Witch. Yeah. I know. So is Sofia. So is the rest of their family. They were born that way, and they’re incredible. They can’t help what they are and all Arlo wants to do is make people happy. All he wants to do is make you happy. Probably with more nakedness and sexy times than I want to think about.”
“Please don’t think about that.” Gray winced. He’d been trying not to think about it for weeks. Been trying not to want it.
“When are you going to realize that you need him?”
“I don’t.”
“I’m a lot smarter than you think I am,” she retorted.
“Aren’t you and mom supposed to be decorating the dining room for Thanksgiving? It is tomorrow.”
“She hired someone this year. She’s too tired from the baby.” McKenna rolled her eyes. “I don’t really feel like going home anyway.”
“You’d rather meddle in stuff that has nothing to do with you.”
“You think?” McKenna put her hands on his desk and stared at him. “You think?”
“I… did?”
“This whole town was different when you were happy with Arlo. Couldn’t you feel it?”
He could. He just didn’t want to admit it out loud. Gray nodded.
“And for me and Fallon. You’re not the only one who hasn’t felt like they fit in at home since the new husband and baby came along. You were our dad. It hasn’t been the same without you. It’s like, she barely wants us there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. But I found a place to belong at the bakery. And at your house when you’re there with Arlo and everyone’s happy. It’s the first time things around here have felt like a real family in a long time.”
“I didn’t know, Mack.”
“Of course not. You were too busy being judgmental.”
Gray winced. “His desserts make people feel things they don’t really feel.”
“No, they don’t. They make people feel fleeting moments of emotion –mostly emotion that Arlo has for you, you big ass. I don’t know if you even stuck around for the part where he can’t even help doing it sometimes because he’s not very good at magic yet. He feels so much for you, and it’s in his nature to share what he’s feeling so it seeps into his food. They’re not harmful and the effects last seconds, not months. Everything you’ve felt has been very, very real. For both of you.”
Gray didn’t know how to tell McKenna about the scent, about how Arlo had taken up every part of him and even weeks later, Gray couldn’t stand to let go. It had to be an enchantment. Or maybe it was just… love.
“I’ll talk to him after dinner tomorrow okay? I was supposed to stop by the pub anyway and visit the boys.”
“Fine. And then you call me.”
“And then I call you,” Gray repeated, exasperated.
“Fix it.”
Thanksgiving dinner had been cozy and fun. Arlo felt like laughing again for the first time since Gray had broken up with him, and he loved being crushed around a few of the pub’s dark varnished tables with huge piles of food that were filled with love and home. He’d made apple and pumpkin pies, dinner rolls, and the stuffing. Sawyer’s mom had made the rest. She really was a genius in the kitchen. Arlo thought her and his own mom should probably get to know each other a bit better.
Leo was there, as well as his parents and Jake and Jake’s equally quiet grandma. Sawyer’s sister had driven in from Connecticut with her boyfriend and his brother’s family had come in from Boston. It was all warm and kind of made Arlo miss home. It also made him miss Gray. The whole thing would’ve felt so much more complete with Gray sitting next to him making sarcastic comments under his breath with his hand wrapped around Arlo’s thigh.
And then Gray was there. And it wasn’t better.
He walked in the door just as they were passing out slices of the pies. Arlo had placed a plate in front of Carrie and gotten a kiss on the cheek in return. The door of the pub opened and, like Arlo summoned him, Gray was there. He had on dark jeans and a wine colored hooded sweater. He looked beautiful and casual but something painful twisted in Arlo’s chest. Gray wasn’t his. Not anymore. It had only been two days since his talk with McKenna. He hadn’t expected much to come of it. But Gray looking awkwardly at him before hugging and kissing everyone else in greeting? That sucked more than he’d been ready for.
“That pie looks incredible,” Gray murmured.
“Sit, darling. We’ll dish you up a piece. Pumpkin or apple?” Carrie was smiling hugely at him. Either she thought everything had been fixed, or she was doing her best to pretend the atmosphere at the pub hadn’t been glacial the past three weeks.
“Can I have some of each? It’s too hard to choose.” He sat down in the seat Sawyer’s sister had vacated when she got a holiday call from a friend.
“You might want to hold off on that. I did make them after all. Who knows what I did to them,” Arlo snapped. And then he realized he’d said it loud enough that everyone in the room had heard him.
Shit.
Arlo stood and pushed his chair out. He needed to escape. Quickly.
“Thank you for dinner, but I need to go get the shop ready for tomorrow,” he muttered.
He knew he looked like a nutcase but crazy and away from Gray was a lot better than crazy and with Gray – and most of the people he knew in town staring at him.
“What the hell happened to you guys?” he heard Sawyer asking. “I’ve never seen two people more in love. What’d you do?”
Arlo didn’t stick around to hear Gray’s answer. He probably didn’t give one; since there wasn’t much of an answer either of them could give. Arlo jogged up his stairs, grabbed his coat and Clementine and made it into his truck before a minute was up. He usually walked to his bakery, but it was cold and wet, and he wanted to get as far away from Gray as he could as fast as he could do it.
By the time he got to his kitchen, he realized the bakery wasn’t far enough. And he really didn’t want to be alone. Arlo was just lucky he had his phone, which was already buzzing with messages he didn’t have the heart to read. He made a sign saying he was out for the holiday weekend and would be open as usual on Monday. Then he called Sofia.
“I want to come home,” he said. “Walk me through it.”
“You want to jump? You haven’t ever gone this far before.”
Arlo had never gone more than a few blocks on purpose. And that was pretty harrowing. “I just… really want to come home.”
“That’ll help. Desire always makes spells work better.”
“Can I bring Clem?”
“Jesus.”
Arlo clasped his kitten to his chest and grabbed for his whisk. If it amplified his powers, whatever they were, it could only help. “Any tips?”
“Concentrate on home as hard as you can. Concentrate on how much you want to be here. Hold on to the cat.”
Arlo nodded. He started concentrating on home, on the living room he used to play with Sofia in, the big firepla
ce, the blue patterned rug.
“Bro, you’ve gotta hang up. I have no idea how that would work, but I don’t want to try.”
“Oh. Yeah. See you soon I hope.”
He hung up, stuck his phone on the countertop, held onto the cat with his free hand and concentrated on home. Then he pictured his family’s living room and wished for the best.
Arlo felt that weird unpleasant belly jump, Clementine’s claws in his chest, and the jolt that usually meant he’d managed to get somewhere. He was afraid to open his eyes and figure out if that place was home. At least he was until he heard Sofia’s throaty cackle.
“You did it, bro. That was a first.” Clementine looked only vaguely traumatized. Sofia reached for her. “Come with auntie my darling. She won’t terrify you.”
“You’re stealing my cat.”
“There’s tuna in the kitchen.”
Minutes later, Arlo was surrounded by his mom and his sensible stepfather, Jerome. Sofia was on the floor playing with Clementine, and he felt immeasurably better. Arlo knew he had to go back, but the thought of a day or two in his mother’s warm house, with her cooking and her own calming brand of magic made every one of his churning bits melt happily.
Not the same story when he got back to Baxter Hollow Sunday afternoon. The jump had been surprisingly uneventful, but his kitchen felt cold and sad – it was the longest he’d gone without using it since the day he’d moved in after all. His phone sat dead on the counter. Arlo didn’t like how he felt for the first time ever in Baxter Hollow. He wondered if it was time to leave, if he and Gray had been a beautiful dream that was never meant to be. But it hurt to think of leaving Sawyer and Jake, Leo, McKenna and the rest of the town who’d taken him in like he was one of their own.
He wished he knew what to do.
Arlo jammed his phone into his pocket and took the keys he’d left on the counter as well, then he and Clementine made the very short drive back to his apartment. He was turning his car off when Sawyer came barreling out of the pub.
“Where the hell have you been?” he asked. He looked angry, which was very out of character. And worried, which wasn’t.
“I just needed to get out of town for a few days and clear my head.” Arlo couldn’t very well tell Sawyer he’d been at home.
“Without your truck?” Sawyer asked.
Shit.
“I’m fine. The cat’s fine. We’re fine. I promise. I’m really sorry I worried you. I figured the note on my door would be enough.”
“We all called you. About a million times.”
Arlo cringed. “Sorry, man. I left my phone here. I really needed some time on my own.”
“Super safe. Next time will you at least warn somebody? There was that weird scene with you and Gray and then poof. You were gone.”
If only Sawyer knew how accurate that was.
“I really am sorry. I was safe, I promise.”
Sawyer pulled him into a rough hug. Clementine mewed a little when she got squeezed.
“Sorry little one,” Sawyer muttered. “You coming down for dinner?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’ll be down in a couple of hours.”
Arlo plugged his phone in as soon as he had Clementine settled with her bed and a snack. When the phone powered on he saw that Sawyer was right. There were about a million messages from everyone – him, Leo, Jake, McKenna. Even Gray. Arlo knew he shouldn’t open Gray’s first, but he did. They went from worried to terrified to desperately sorry. Where are you… the guys are worried… okay, I’m worried… Arlo, please come back… I miss you… you have no idea how sorry I am please come back to me.
Arlo swallowed hard. He was startled by a loud knocking sound on his front door. He was even more surprised when he opened it to find Gray standing there.
“How’d you get up here?” he asked.
“Sawyer. I promised him all sorts of unsavory favors. Including cleaning the windows of the pub all summer.”
Arlo almost laughed.
“What are you doing here then? I’ve just walked in the door.”
Gray went to hug him, but Arlo backed away. He wanted to touch Gray more than anything, but part of him couldn’t forget all the things Gray had said. How horrible the past few weeks had been.
“I miss you,” Gray said quietly. The hurt from Arlo’s rejection flashed in his face. “I made a huge mistake, and I’m sorry.”
“I told you I loved you and you called me a freak,” Arlo whispered.
“I can’t believe I said that.” Gray covered his mouth with his hand. “I didn’t mean it. Not at all. I think you’re incredible. I miss you every single day. My life is so dull without you in it.”
“I’m a bit of excitement?” Arlo wanted to let him in but he just… he couldn’t unless Gray was willing to go all the way for him.
“No. No. God, why can’t I get anything right with you?”
“You did. We were so right.” Arlo couldn’t help smiling at the memory.
“We were. We still are. You… I love you. I should’ve said it back then instead of all the nasty things I did say. I love you so, so much. I was just already so scared of actually feeling something for once in my life and disrupting every goal I thought I had and you added that whole thing on top of it and I just lost my mind and I meant none of it. I promise you.” He looked flustered, like he had to get all of it out before Arlo closed the door. Arlo wasn’t going to close the door.
“You said you didn’t trust me. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. You have to understand why I’d kept that part of me from you. It wasn’t because I like to lie.”
“No, I understand. I do. Even if I don’t understand that… part of you fully, I understand why you don’t tell people.”
“I still don’t want everyone to know. You and Mack and Fallon. That’s all.”
“I haven’t told anyone.”
“I know. I trusted you enough to tell you. I know you’re not going to repeat it.”
“Do you think you could still trust me enough to fall in love with me again? I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve ruined that.”
“Gray…” Arlo wanted to say yes. The words were thick in his throat. “You know this is terrifying for me too. I’ve never been anywhere as long as I’ve already been here. I don’t know how to settle down, but I was willing, no, happy to do it for you.”
“Could you still be?”
Arlo felt it deep in his gut still, how his body settled in Gray’s presence. He didn’t want to leave anymore. That tingling feeling in his extremities was gone.
“Yeah. I think I could.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.” Gray reached for him. This time Arlo let him wind their fingers together. “I promise. I love you and I want to prove it to you.”
“You don’t have to prove anything. Just… go back to how it was. At least we’ll try.”
“Yes.” Gray dropped Arlo’s hands to pull him into a tight hug. Arlo froze for a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around Gray’s shoulders and held him.
“You feel really good,” Arlo whispered. “I missed this.”
“I’ll never do that to us again,” Gray answered. “Never.”
December was everything that November hadn’t been – Gray felt alive again. He hadn’t realized how much of a difference Arlo had made until he was completely gone for those three terrible days. Having him back again meant Gray could breathe. Things weren’t perfect at first. He and Arlo tiptoed around each other for a week or so. But he told Arlo he’d do anything to make up for the way he acted, and he would. In turn, he badgered Arlo for as many details about his family as he could possibly give.
“We’re more practical,” Arlo had said. “My Vallerand cousins are much more powerful than we are. Aristocratic, I suppose. Well except Frankie. Sometimes I think he should’ve been my brother rather than my cousin.”
“And he’s the chef in San Francisco.”
“Yeah.”
“He taught you how to… charm?”
“Yes, charm is the right word. Sometimes.”
“So Frankie taught you how to charm your food?”
“No, he was teaching me how to control it. Before him, I was doing it involuntarily. I can control it most of the time now unless the emotions I’m feeling are too strong. Then it’s lust cookie city.”
Gray had laughed at that.
“And your whisk.” Gray had reached out and stroked the handle of the whisk. He didn’t know if he was imagining it or not, but his fingertips tingled a little.
“It enhances my power. My mom said it did the same for my Great-Grandmother. We all have an object we bond with. And, um, usually a person too.”
Gray’s eyes widened.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s the person we’ll be happiest with. It’s not always voluntary either. Frankie hadn’t even realized he bonded to his husband Addison until after someone else tried to bond to him and couldn’t.”
“Are we… bonded?”
“I don’t know. I think we might have been before we even met. I really know so little about these things.” Arlo looked like he was ready for Gray to get angry, but Gray had to admit he thought Arlo was right. He could feel him coming, and he’d known the second Arlo got there that something was different in town.
“I think we were too,” he answered. “It feels like we were meant to be together.” Gray made a face. “What have you done to me? I’m such a cheese ball.”
Arlo simply laughed. “I think that’s okay. We get at least a few months before our cheese ball cards have to be revoked.”
“Valentine’s Day at the latest.”
Gray had a feeling it would be a hell of a lot longer than that.
Two weeks before Christmas, McKenna announced she wasn’t going to Chamonix in the middle of a huge family dinner. Gray’s mother wasn’t exactly thrilled about that.
“Darling, don’t you want to ski? Spend the holidays with your family?”
Gray flinched. He didn’t know why he’d been trimmed off the family list, but then he remembered what McKenna had said about not feeling like she belonged either. He decided to keep quiet rather than say something biting and sarcastic. Which he was definitely feeling.
