“Not tonight.” She leaned forward, knocking me backward onto the floor of the cab. Okay, this had gotten really hot. My cock strained in my pants. Lydia bit down on my lip. She might have drawn blood. I didn’t care. I kissed her back, getting as frantic as she was. We threw our clothes everywhere. Something we got rid of hit the window of the truck. I didn’t care. She scraped her fingers down my chest.
I flipped her over. If Lydia wanted to be in charge then so be it. I wouldn’t complain. I ran my hands down her stomach while she positioned herself where she wanted to be. “You’re hard. You want me.”
“Since the moment I saw you.”
She smirked. “Liar.”
“No, it’s true. Wanting you has been a constant thing.”
“Good.” She stroked my cock once before she climbed on top of me. I forgot how to breathe. Lydia pressed down, taking me inside of her until I cried out. She was so warm, tight. So mine. This was my wife, and she was unbelievable.
How had I gotten so lucky? Up and down she moved on top of me. This was new to us, and yet we quickly had a rhythm going that worked. Some of her crazed, early movements slowed. I didn't know if it was because she had me inside of her or if she’d just calmed down, but either way, our lovemaking changed. I reached up to stroke her breasts, play with, appreciate the image that was my wife on top of me, finding pleasure with our joined bodies.
“Deacon.” She whispered. “Tell me you're mine.”
I'd gladly tell her anytime. Hell, I'd shout it from the tops of rooftops if she wanted. “I'm yours, darling. I'll always be yours.”
We breathed together, every stroke of our bodies generating more heat than the time before. How would I survive this? How had I ever lived without it?
In the position she was in, touching her was easy. I reached between our bodies and found her clit, stroking it on one of her moves upward. She cried out. Yes, that was what she wanted.
“So good.” Her voice had lowered considerably.
“I love you, Lydia.” I stroked her repeatedly, because I wanted to, because it gave her pleasure, because there was nothing I would do in this life or any other that would ever equate to how beautiful my wife was when she made love to me.
My cock pulsed and throbbed. My balls ached. I wanted to come. Badly. But I wouldn't. Not before she did. That was one of the ways I could always show her how much I loved her.
Her pleasure would come first. Any time I had the privilege of touching her, she'd know how much she mattered.
Finally—somehow also too soon—she cried out, her pleasure overcoming her. I watched as ecstasy moved through her body, her back arched and her hands came up to her neck, traveling down her body afterward. She cried out my name, she said nonsense, she told me she loved me.
Fuck, yes. I was so lucky.
My balls tightened one last time and I emptied myself inside of my wife. My beautiful, probably still a little bit angry at me, loving wife.
* * *
Lydia was pretty languid afterward. The vehicle quickly went from filled with our body heat to getting colder by the minute. I dressed us both then covered us with a blanket, wishing I had two so she could be warmer. If I had been Patrick, I would have pushed all the way to Genesis that evening.
But I didn't make those choices, and maybe he knew something I didn't. I covered her with my body like we were back in our bed and not on the floor of a car. I supposed it could be worse. Every person with us had some kind of shelter keeping them relatively warm for the nighttime hours.
We could have to be outside.
“Deacon.” She ran her hand through my hair. “When I saw you kill that Alpha…”
The day was wearing on me. My adrenaline was rapidly dropping, and I didn't know if I'd be able to keep my eyes open soon. “Hmm.”
“I was terrified, but it was also sort of… hot.”
I smirked, kissing her cheek. “The way I took down the Werewolf was hot?”
“Not what you did but that you could.”
I'd take that. “I'll consider your feelings next time. Okay?”
“If you have time. I mean, if a Werewolf is charging, don't stop and think hey, what would Lydia want me to do here? Just do it.”
Her words were slightly slurred. “Sleep, love. I got this. Nothing is going to hurt us tonight.” Or what was left of it.
I woke up to the smell of food. Someone was cooking something nearby. My stomach rumbled. Still exactly where I’d placed her, anchored by my leg across her body, my wife snored. I leaned on my elbow and looked at her in the morning light. She was out cold. I hated to leave her, but I had to pee and the scent of food beckoned me.
Funnily enough, standing not far from what had, at least temporarily, become my truck was Chad Lyons. He was cooking over an open fire, the same spot where Lydia had initiated our love making the night before. What was he doing? There were lots of fires to be found. Why was he at mine?
I stopped briefly in the woods, peed, and then joined him by the flames. “Hey.” The universal greeting I said when I couldn't figure out how else to greet people.
“Deacon.” Chad offered me a piece of bacon. My mouth salivated. “There's enough for Lydia, too. I've been hoarding this. Seemed like a good thing to give the killer of the Alpha Wolf a little bit of fat and protein this morning.”
As long as there was enough for Lydia, I wouldn't say no. “That's nice of you.” And suspicious. We didn't have this relationship, nowhere near it.
“Yeah, well. Peace offering?”
I took a bite of the bacon before Chad said something I didn't like, and I had to, on principle, walk away and leave all of this food. It was as though I could see the future. Unlike his brother, Chad always walked the straight and narrow. He didn't question the authorities, and he didn't make people mad.
He was a clone but, fuck, half the people we knew might be. It was one of those things best to not think about. He'd died saving Rachel from Vampires. The man, in this body and the last one, was brave.
We didn't click, but it wasn't because of cowardice.
“Why do we need a peace offering?”
He stood, leaving the frying pan over the fire. “Because Rachel misses her friend. I don't think you're after my girl anymore. I think you might be singlehandedly saving Micah. From what, I don't know, but he's lit up like he hasn't been since we woke up in Genesis. You're coming home with a wife who you clearly adore. You've shown me things on this trip I couldn't imagine you doing. That's not going to go unnoticed by the powers that be. There's every reason to think you and I are going to, one way or another, spend a lot of time together for the rest of our lives. So let's try friends.” He extended his hand. “When we couldn't remember Rachel, in that brief time, we were buddies. I think we could be again.”
I shook his hand before I could overthink it. “So this isn't because you're scared of me? I did do some pretty screwed up things last night.”
Chad laughed, throwing his head back. “No, I wish I could do what you did. How did you know how to do that?”
“I...” I shook my head. “I just kind of tried it and decided to see what would happen.”
“That is so fucked up.” Apparently Chad cursed. Maybe, we'd be okay.
With Lydia by my side, we arrived in Genesis. It hadn't changed in the weeks I'd been gone. Micah walked up beside me, nudging me with his shoulder. “Do you suppose they gave away our homes?”
“Better not have. I'm taking it back if they did.”
He snorted. “You're so notorious now. The Alpha killer. Whoever had it would run away.”
“Well, you would know. Where did you sleep when you came back for help?”
“In my parents' place for all of three hours while we turned around to go save your ass. I never even stopped by my own locale.” He looked at my wife. “You'll be happy here, Lydia. Most people are.”
I suspected he would not put himself in the most people category. We'd set out to go find what was in the rest o
f the world, and we were back in a little over a month. This wasn't what Micah had signed up for.
“Are you going to be okay back here?” I legitimately wanted to know. I wasn't sure what I would have done to fix it, but I still felt like I should ask.
He winked at me. “I'm always good. Had a little fun, now back to the grindstone, so to speak. Oh, don't forget, Dad wants to hand us our asses later. Should be a good time. I'll bring the popcorn.”
Lydia tugged on my jacket before she snuggled up against my side. I looked down at her tired face. “Did I hear something about some place to sleep?”
She was pale today. The reality of everything that had been happening was finally hitting her. Or at least that's what I thought. She wasn't saying much.
“Yes.” I nodded at Micah. “See you later.”
“Count on it.”
I held onto Lydia's hand tightly. “It's pretty here.”
We rounded a corner and headed toward where I lived. I'd left the place a wreck, plus it suddenly occurred to me I should probably ask for a bigger space. Married people had larger tents. Okay, I had things to do.
“I've never thought of it as pretty.”
She pointed. “Look at that view. You can see that large river and the lost city in the distance.”
I stopped to take in what she was saying. It wasn't like I was completely unaware of my surroundings. At some point, I must have looked. With so much to constantly do and the risk of losing it all, I didn't usually take the time to appreciate something as simple as a view. She was right. With the leaves off the trees, I could see the river and the lost city. I was sure it had a name, and one of the people who had come out of stasis could probably tell me what that was.
All the things that had once been that were no more...
She needed sleep, and I needed to not dwell on anything at all. We reached my tent, and she didn't give the inside a second glance while I quickly changed the sheets and turned on the heater. Every one of us over eighteen was entitled to our own space. They were large tents, with a bedroom area, an eating section, and a makeshift plumbing system that the engineers had created. Sometimes the running water worked. I tried it, glad to see the toilet flushed and the water ran.
Otherwise, there was a whole system we all followed that I didn't think Lydia was really up to right then.
She climbed into my bed—our bed—and was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. I took off her shoes and covered her up with the blankets. She didn't stir.
That was when it dawned on me… when we'd made love the night before, we hadn't used a condom. I sat down in a chair before my knees gave out. That was really stupid and entirely my responsibility. Shit. Not that a baby would be the worst thing in the world, but it was unplanned and very early in our relationship.
I loved kids. I knew she did. I rubbed my eyes. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst outcome ever and maybe nothing would happen. People didn't get pregnant every time they had unprotected sex. Or course, they could. I stood. There was nothing to do but wait and see.
And apologize for being stupid.
Again.
I was really blowing this marriage thing. While I was in the midst of this mess, I needed to get the other really upsetting thing I had to do over with. There was a person I owed an apology and putting it off any longer wouldn't make it better or easier. It was long overdue. If I was ever going to be the kind of person who could be worthy of Lydia, I had to do what was right, even if it was hard.
Keith's wife had the right to say what I'd never given her the chance to.
I owed him that much. And so much more.
Tiffani Endover lived with her son, Levi, on the outskirts of the Warrior tent city. It was on top of a hill a bit. The lead Warriors were always given the best locations. Technically, with Keith gone, I didn't know if she was still entitled to the locale. Although, I'd beat anyone who ever suggested she should leave it. She used to be a council member. Tiffani taught the young Warriors before they moved on to Keith… or before they used to move on to Keith. I didn't know who they were working with now.
This was never going to get easier. Nor should it.
I tapped on Tiffani's door. I remembered when Levi was born. We’d thought we were going to lose Tiffani. Keith had been frantic. Then Jason's father, Andon, had shown up. He'd been a doctor in the before time. He’d saved her and the baby. Tragedy had become joy instantly. The whole thing had made me terribly uncomfortable.
It was weird to not hear Keith's Irish accent calling to come in...
“Deacon?” I swung around at Tiffani's call. She wasn't inside her tent—which Micah called synthetic cabins—instead, she balanced the very red-headed Levi, on her hip. They wore green winter coats, and Levi had red boots.
“Tiffani,” I answered, finally. “Hello.”
She walked toward me. Rachel used to tell me that Tiffani was a beautiful woman. I'd never seen her as anything more than Keith's wife. With dark hair and darker eyes, she was athletic, fit, and almost always smiling. Although, she wasn't now. “Are you okay?”
“Ah, yeah, I guess so.”
She raised both her eyebrows. “You look like shit.”
Moving past me, she opened the tent door and let Levi, who squealed while he ran forward, inside.
“Everyone keeps saying that to me.”
“Probably because it's true. Come in.”
I cleared my throat. “Oh, I don't have to come in. I can stay right here.” I didn't know if I belonged inside Keith's home. That might be too much.
“Well, I'm not staying outside. Levi has a cold. I spent all morning inside the medic tent hearing that it was a cold and sent back with nothing for it, even though he's been coughing all night. So you can come in or you can stand there by yourself. Presumably, you came here for a reason?”
I nodded. “Okay, I'll come in.”
“That's what I thought.”
She shut the door behind us.
The home Keith had shared with Tiffani and Levi was better decorated than mine. They'd actually hung things on the walls. Of course, they had years together below ground when Genesis had been a habitat. It was easier to simply bring things up than go through the bartering system of acquiring new things. Maybe Lydia was going to want to decorate. We'd figure it out.
I waited by the door, not wanting to get snow all over her floor. She stripped Levi of his outdoor attire, wiped his nose, and sent him into his bedroom to play.
“Shoes off, Deacon, and meet me in the kitchen.”
Okay, so I wasn't going be staying where I was either. I did as instructed, and then with growing anxiety about losing the ability to make a quick exit when she threw me out, I hung up my coat, too. I'd just have to be fast and efficient about it.
I journeyed into her kitchen. It was a short walk and yet… every step could have taken a millennium for how hard it was to do.
“Do you want some tea?” Her back was to me while she fiddled with the warmer we all had. I used it for coffee, and she clearly had for her tea.
“No, thank you.”
Tiffani turned around. “Everything go okay? Half our Warriors took off to get to you. I heard you were in love and that Vampires were attacking. That was pretty much it. There were all kinds of stories that made no sense. Those two did. Oh, and this morning I heard you burned an Alpha to death.” She shook her head. “The things people say.”
My cheeks heated. This wasn't going as I'd planned. “I actually did burn the Alpha to death. It was probably stupid.”
Her mouth fell open. “That's incredible.”
“Not really.” I rubbed my eyes. “Tiffani, I came here today to apologize to you. You were at Icahn's place when Keith was killed. You are well aware of what happened to your husband. I know what role I played in that. There aren't words to sufficiently express my shame or anything that can make this better. But the sorry needs to be said because it just does.”
There. I'd done it. I waited. She was goi
ng to lose whatever had prompted her to be kind to me and throw me out on my ass. As I deserved.
The tea whistled, and she turned around to deal with it. I took a deep breath. The extension to how long this was taking was no more than I deserved. Tiffani would be within her rights to make me stand there for a year.
She set the tea down and didn't drink it. “Okay, Deacon. Let's talk.”
Fifteen
I waited for the blow she was sure to deliver. Hell, I had been waiting for it since I'd stood behind Keith and watched him die. Every second of the day, every moment, I expected Tiffani, or even baby Levi, to appear before me, declaring me the monster I knew myself to be. Somehow, I'd fooled Lydia. I didn't even know how. But Tiffani saw the real Deacon.
“I'm not going to lie. When it first happened, I was truly angry beyond reason. I blamed you. I blamed Icahn, obviously. I blamed Patrick for leading us down the wrong path. I blamed the universe for doing this to us to begin with. You were certainly on the list of blame.”
I nodded. “As I should be.”
“I didn't see Keith die. I was locked up with Levi in one of the holding cells.”
I didn't remember much from that day except Keith's death. There were conversations with Darren, with Rachel, with Icahn himself—before Andon killed him—but I didn't remember the gist of them very well. Just Keith's death. Over and over again.
“Tiffani, I have a very fucked up—sorry, I swore, I guess you did earlier, um—mind. I don't do things normally. I can't explain it, but sometimes it's almost like I'm not in control of my mind. I only remember Keith dying that day. I don't really remember where you were.”
She picked up her tea and sipped it. “You came into where they held me to see Rachel. Micah was tied up there, too.”
Nothing. A complete and total blank. “Okay.”
“I watched the video stream of his murder over and over. Do you know what I saw? What everyone who has viewed it again has commented on?”
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