“Several weeks ago, I had Elijah on the phone, and he was nearly in tears over some asshole who treated him like shit after they fooled around. I was pissed for him, but I figured these things happen, and he was going to learn that eventually. Then, a few days ago he texts me about some kind of experiment or something, he’s asking about rimming, and I’m thinking one of your dickhead friends has him talked into some kind of casual, fuck buddy situation. So, I’m asking who it is so I can remove their dick and shove it down their own throat.” Theo is practically seething, his anger palpable through the phone, and the guilt twisting in my gut intensifies. Did I trick Elijah? Because I was pretty sure this whole casual situation was his idea. Or did he only agree to it because he knew it was what I wanted?
“Relax, your pet is fine,” I assure him, a hint of irritation slipping into my tone.
“You know who it is then?”
“I know who it is,” I confirm. “Can I ask you a question, T?”
“What?”
“Are you in love with him?” As soon as the words are out, I want to call them back. I want to hang up the phone before he can answer, because it’s one thing to suspect but knowing and doing it anyway is going to make me the worst kind of asshole.
Theo sighs, and I can almost hear the anger escaping from him. “I was,” he admits.
My heart stutters, and a lump forms in my throat. “Was?”
“Yeah, when we were younger. How could I not be? He’s attractive, and once you get past the chronic awkwardness, he’s really funny and sweet. I used to have this fantasy that one day he’d look at me and see me as more than his best friend. But it never happened, and eventually I moved on and learned to love him the way he’ll let me.”
I don’t know how to respond. I already knew it, and at least it wasn’t my worst fear of him being still in love with Elijah, but it does nothing to ease my guilt. How would my brother feel if he ever found out that I’ve touched and tasted Elijah? That I’ve been inside him and made him come?
Before I can say anything in return, the buzzer sounds from near my front door.
“Hey, I’ve got company that just arrived, so I’ve gotta go,” I say, glad to have an out for this conversation.
“Yeah, all right. But you tell whoever your friend is that Elijah is special and doesn’t deserve to be treated like some throwaway hookup.”
I run my free hand over my forehead, the bitter taste of my transgression filling my mouth.
“I will.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later.”
I hang up the phone and shove it into my pocket. The excited lust I was feeling before the phone call is all but ground to dust, but Elijah is still waiting to be let in, and the steaks are still waiting to be cooked, so I push aside the guilt and buzz him in and then open the door to wait for him to come up the stairs.
As soon as Elijah comes into view, the weight lifts from my chest. He meets my eyes as he reaches the top of the stairs, and a shy smile spreads over his lips, a faint blush painting his pale cheeks.
“Hi,” he says once he reaches me, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. He’s without his signature blazer tonight, instead wearing a pair of holey jeans and a red t-shirt with a slight V-neck. I wonder how much time he spent trying to look like he wasn’t trying. He was probably in front of the mirror half the afternoon trying to decide what to wear so he could look like he just threw something on. The thought warms my chest and makes me smile.
I reach out and loop my arm around his waist, dragging him against me and claiming his lips. He lets out a muffled sound of surprise against my mouth but melts into me as I sweep my tongue inside. He twists his fingers in the front of my shirt, and I slip one hand up the back of his, feeling the smooth skin of his back under my fingertips.
“Hi,” I say once we part. It takes a second before his eyelids flutter open, his cheeks even pinker now, the blush extending down his throat and disappearing under his shirt. I want to strip him bare and chase that blush everywhere it touches his skin. But first, dinner.
I release my grasp on him, and Elijah stumbles a little before finding his bearings with an embarrassed smile.
“I’m making steak and grilled vegetables, I hope that’s okay?” I check as I lead him inside.
“Yeah, that sounds amazing. Definitely better than the ramen I probably would’ve eaten tonight on my own.”
I cringe at the thought of him living off the meager amount of extra money he has from his student loans and make a mental note to find ways to send over food to his place during the week somehow. No wonder he’s so skinny.
“Wow, this place is amazing,” he says as I lead him to the kitchen so I can prep the veggies and grab the steak to throw on the grill.
“Thanks. It’s one of the few things that makes me wish I was home more.”
“I can see why.”
In the kitchen, I pull out the things I need from the refrigerator, and Elijah slides onto a stool in front of the island.
“I just need to chop up these veggies, and then I can throw everything on the grill. It shouldn’t take too long from there. There’s beer in the fridge—help yourself if you want one,” I offer.
He wrinkles his nose, and my heart trips over its own beat.
“I’m good, thank you.”
Elijah
I sit, bouncing my knee while Pax chops vegetables. I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and take a deep breath to try to calm my racing heart. We’ve done a lot of things together, and after what we shared last week, this should be nothing. But for some reason, this feels like the most intimate thing I could let him do to me.
I did get waxed on Theo’s advice. Well, I got wax and did it myself, because the thought of Paxton spending an extended amount of time looking at such an intimate place was bad enough, I wasn’t about to let a complete stranger do it. I also spent an ungodly amount of time in the shower before I came over, making sure I was squeaky clean. Although all the sweating I’m doing right now probably isn’t helping.
I push my glasses up my sweaty nose and shift in my seat.
“How, um, how was your week?” I ask, grasping for something so I feel less uncomfortable. Pax looks up from his chopping with a smile on his lips.
“Good, aside from the endlessly distracting texts from a certain Nerdlet,” he accuses.
“I’m sorry, should I not text you during the week?” I drag my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I like your texts,” he says. “Especially the distracting ones.”
“Oh,” I say because I’m not sure how else to respond, but a happy flutter starts deep in my stomach.
We talk about idle things while Pax cooks dinner—my classes, his work, a movie we both want to see. It’s peaceful.
When we sit down to eat, my nerves return. I push my food around on my plate, eating a few bites here and there.
“So, I’m curious, how’d the idea of rimming even come up?” Pax asks with a glint in his eye. “Watching some good porn?”
“No, I, um, don’t really like porn,” I admit. “Alex mentioned it, and I was curious.”
“You don’t like porn? Like, at all?” he asks, his eyebrows going up. The reaction isn’t a surprise; Theo couldn’t believe it either. I don’t know what’s so shocking. I can’t be the only person in the world who doesn’t enjoy porn.
I shrug and shove a bite of steak into my mouth. “It’s…uncomfortable. There’s no feeling, you know? I mean, I only tried watching it once, and one guy just started pounding the other. It’s just skin slapping and grunting—it’s kind of gross. I don’t think the mechanics of sex excite me all that much. I think it’s more the emotion behind it.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I freeze. I dart my eyes toward Pax to see if he caught my slip up. His face is stoic, his attention focused on spearing a piece of zucchini with his fork. Silence hangs between us for several hundred heartbeats, both of us seeming to avoid the elephant I just dr
opped in the middle of the room.
“A lot of the time amateur porn is a better bet if you want to see real guys with real feelings for each other,” he says eventually, letting the air out of the uncomfortable silence.
“Oh,” I say again because seriously how am I supposed to respond to that?
I help Pax clear the table once we’re finished with dinner. My stomach ties itself in complicated knots.
“Come here, Nerdlet,” Pax says, quirking a finger at me to beckon me closer. I step around the counter, and he snags the belt loops of my jeans in his fingers and drags me against him. Tilting his head down, he bumps his nose against mine, a playful smile on his lips.
“Why don’t we go to the bedroom?” he suggests, and my breath catches in my throat. I nod mutely, stepping out of his arms and letting him lead me out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bedroom. “Get comfortable on the bed for me,” Pax purrs close to my ear, the heat of his body against my back. I look over my shoulder at him, my stomach dancing anxiously, and he gives me a reassuring smile that gives me the courage to do as he asked. I strip my shirt over my head, my pants and underwear go next, and finally my socks.
I’m so nervous my cock is only half hard as I position myself on Pax’s bed, on my hands and knees. The air conditioner kicks on loudly, and I shiver as goosebumps rise on my skin. The bed dips behind me as Pax climbs on, and I tense.
“Relax, Einstein, you know I’m not going to hurt you,” he murmurs in a deep, soothing voice. His warm hand comes to rest against my lower back, and I jump.
“Sorry, I know. I’m more worried about the embarrassment than you hurting me.”
“You want to lick my asshole first?” he offers.
“Let’s see how this goes, and we’ll go from there,” I answer with a small laugh, my body relaxing a little thanks to Pax’s calm tone.
“You have nothing to be worried about, just breathe and enjoy it, okay?”
“We’ll see if you say that with your butthole on display,” I grumble, but take a deep breath and try to relax anyway.
A second hand joins the first, resting on my other butt cheek, carefully spreading them apart. I clench my hole instinctively, dropping my arms down and pressing my face into the pillow to avoid the humiliated feeling of having someone stare at my hole.
“Look at that, so pretty and smooth. Did you get waxed?”
“I did it myself,” I tell him. “It hurt.”
Pax chuckles. “I bet. For future reference, you don’t need to worry so much with me, I’m more of a come as you are kind of guy, no additional grooming required.”
“Good to know,” I mutter into the pillow.
He leans in closer until I can feel the heat of his breath against my entrance, and my cock twitches as it starts to swell to full hardness again.
“So sexy,” Pax rumbles, pressing a kiss to my left butt cheek. “Want you so much.” The right one gets a kiss too. I let myself sink into the bed a little more, my stomach fluttering at the sweetness of his touch and the words of praise he continues to kiss into my skin.
The first lick catches me off guard, and I squeak. It’s so wet as he drags the flat of his tongue from my balls to my hole. As soon as he pulls back, the saliva starts to cool, making me shiver and my hole to twitch, the nerve endings seeming to all spark to life at the same time.
“Oh,” I gasp in surprise as he does it again. He digs his fingers into the globes of my butt, the tug causing a slight sting in my hole that only makes his licks feel more intense. He alternates between the wide, flat expanse of his tongue, and the teasing tip. He licks in slow, firm strokes and flickers along the rim of my entrance that make me gasp. Okay, I totally see what Alex meant.
My cock sways between my legs, aching as it drips precum onto the bed.
I’m shaking and panting as he works his tongue in and out of my hole, fucking me with the wet, hot muscle, licking me from the inside. His hands move from my ass to my hips, holding me in place, gripping me tightly as I lose my mind from pleasure.
I twist my fingers around the bed sheets, heat rising from the pit of my stomach as my balls clench, and my hole clenches and unclenches around his tongue against my will. Pax hums and groans as he licks me deeper, faster, like I’m his favorite dessert, and he can’t get enough.
I unclench one of my fists from around the sheets and reach for my erection, wrapping my hand around it and letting out a strangled cry. Pax growls out a hungry sound, his teeth scraping against my sensitive rim. I moan, desperately stroking myself, chasing the orgasm that’s so close.
Pax shoves his tongue deep inside me again just as my hand strokes over the head of my cock, and I lose it, wailing as my release spurts into my hand, my hole clamping down around his tongue. I push back against his face, shamelessly grinding against it as I ride out wave after wave of my orgasm that seems to go on for an eternity.
When I finally collapse onto the bed, my body rung out of pleasure and my lungs burning as I drag in gulps of oxygen, I hear the sound of Pax’s zipper. I don’t have the energy to look over my shoulder, but the slapping skin sound of him jerking off is unmistakable. My spent cock twitches as he grunts and groans and then lets out a deep moan. His cum spurts onto my skin in hot ropes, hitting my butt, my lower back, and even between my shoulder blades. I gasp with pleasure, feeling filthy and sexy at the same time.
When Pax lays down next to me, I turn my head and smile at him with a sleepy, satisfied grin. He grabs me and drags me close until I’m pressed against him, seeming unconcerned with the sweat and cum covering my skin. He nuzzles into the crook of my neck and lets out a content sigh.
“Sorry about that,” he says.
“Don’t be, it was hot. And by the way, I was wrong: I’m a big fan of rimming.”
“See what happens when you assume?” he teases, nipping at my earlobe.
“I have learned my lesson,” I assure him.
He presses a soft kiss to the tip of my nose, making my stomach flutter and my heart beat faster.
This is casual, I scold myself mentally to no avail.
Chapter 20
Elijah
I’m leaving campus, Alex chattering beside me as we head for the bus stop. My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket, and a smile spreads over my lips. I’m expecting a text from Pax, but when I pull it out, I see Theo’s name lighting up my screen with a call.
“Hello?” It’s an odd time of day for Theo to be calling, normally he calls in the evenings because he knows I’m in class during the day. He probably would be too, but I’m guessing his Thanksgiving break just started as well.
“Look to your left,” he says, and I immediately do as he says. A few yards down, I see my best friend leaning against a silver car, one hand on his phone, the other shoved in his pocket, a huge smile on his face.
“Who’s that?” Alex asks from beside me, following my gaze.
“It’s Theo,” I answer, hanging up the phone and hurrying in his direction, refusing to be so dorky that I break out into a run because I’m just that happy to see my best friend who I’ve been missing like crazy.
Theo shoves his phone into his pocket as well and clearly has no qualms about not playing it cool, because he breaks into a full-on run, sprinting toward me with his arms wide. We crash into each other with a hug that jostles my glasses askew and nearly knocks the breath out of me. He squeezes me tight, and I hug him back just as hard.
“God, I fucking miss you. Forget school, come back to New York with me.” His words are muffled by his face pressed against my shoulder, but I manage to hear them anyway, and I chuckle.
“Why don’t you forget school and move out here?” I counter, finally releasing him and noticing a few tears on his cheeks that he quickly dashes away with the back of his hands.
“Are you okay?” I ask, concern flooding me.
“Yeah, yeah,” he sniffles and waves me off. “Just having a hard time lately and really fucking happy to see my best friend.”
<
br /> Guilt washes over me, and bile rises in my throat as I force a smile. I’ve been lying to my best friend for over a month now. But I know if I tell him the truth, he’s going to be pissed at his brother. He’ll never believe that I’m fine with things being casual between me and Pax; he’ll think his brother is taking advantage of me.
“What are you even doing here? Did Pax know you were coming?”
“No, it was a last-minute decision. I woke up at like three in the morning and I just…I just wanted to come see you. And, what perfect timing since we both have whole week off for Thanksgiving. So, I got on a plane and here I am.”
“Whose car is that?”
“It’s a rental,” he says. “Have you eaten? I’m starving.”
“I could eat,” Alex breaks in, popping up from behind me and holding his hand out to Theo. “Hi, I’m Alex.”
Theo looks surprised for a second and then grins as he takes Alex in, all energy and flair. His eyes drop to Alex’s shirt, which today says Scientists Do It Periodically with a periodic table in the background. Theo barks out a laugh and shakes Alex’s hand.
“Glad to see my bestie is in good hands.”
“Between me and his sexy ass boyf—” I slam a hand over Alex’s mouth to stop him from saying something I’ll have to dig my way out of. His eyes go wide, clearly realizing he said something he shouldn’t have, and Theo eyes us suspiciously.
“I’m sorry, his what?” He asks. “Did this dude who was jerking you around finally stop being a dick?”
My cheeks heat, and Alex looks contrite as I pull my hand away from his mouth.
“He’s not jerking me around.”
Theo’s expression grows dark, a frown marring his usually smiling face as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“I don’t like whatever this is. You’re going to get hurt.”
“How about food? You said you’re hungry, right?” I shamelessly grapple to change the subject. “There’s a great burger place just up the street.”
Rocket Science Page 14
