John Taylor’s explanation that the sisters’ “ordinations” were not priesthood ordinations but instances of what we now call being “set apart” was actually not given until much later (see Woman’s Exponent 9 [1 September 1880]: 53–54). It is added here for clarity.
Elvira Cowles is listed as Cole in Joseph’s history (see HC 4:567).
Chapter 19
After several weeks of wet and cold, the last week of March saw spring come in its full power. The days dawned bright and clear, and the sun warmed the long-dormant earth. A frost of green began to cover the fields and hillsides. Suddenly there were songbirds again. The temperature soared into the sixties, which, after months of winter, felt like the heat of full summer. People came out of their houses in droves. Women sat on the porches with babies on their laps and toddlers playing nearby. The older children were like prisoners on a chain gang suddenly cut loose from their bonds. They roamed the city, rolling metal hoops, playing “run, sheepie, run” or “red rover.” They flowed into the vacant lots for games of stickball. There was hardly a flat, open spot of ground that didn’t have either a ring of boys around a marbles circle or a scattering of girls jumping their way through the hopscotch pads scratched into the ground.
It was young Joshua who saw them first. He and a group of other boys, ranging in age from seven to twelve, went to a large field on the eastern outskirts of the city. It had been plowed the previous fall, and while the winter’s moisture had smoothed the ground considerably, there were still clods aplenty for a rousing game of “war.” He and four others were huddled together, plotting their next attack, when a shout brought them up. “Joshua! Joshua!”
Just to the south of their battlefield lay the intersection of Parley Street and Carthage Road, the main road that led to the county seat and on to the east. It was a busy thoroughfare, and wagons and carriages had been passing back and forth most of the afternoon. But in the wagon now approaching from the east, Joshua saw two boys. They were on their feet waving and hollering. He stared for a moment, squinting, and then the clod of dirt he was holding dropped from his hand. “Luke? Mark?” He turned to Carl and David Rogers, his two cousins. “Look!” he cried. “It’s Aunt Jessica and the boys.”
With a whoop they were off, racing, shouting, jumping, waving to greet those in the wagon, who were doing exactly the same thing.
“Nathan, I don’t think you’ve ever met Mr. Garrett.”
Nathan stepped forward, his hand outstretched. “No, I haven’t.” They gripped each other’s hands firmly. “Solomon, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s good to meet you at last.”
“My pleasure.” Solomon stepped back, looking down at Jessica. Jessica was only about five foot three inches tall and he was close to six feet. But he was broad through the shoulders and solidly built, which only emphasized her slenderness. He smiled at her. “I guess that leaves only Joshua and Will that I haven’t met.”
“Now, you know that you are expected to have everyone’s name memorized and recognize them on sight, don’t you?” Lydia asked with a teasing smile.
Rachel sang out before he could answer. “We’ve been practicing all the way here.”
They all laughed as Solomon Garrett colored. “That was supposed to be our secret, Rachel,” he said with mock severity.
She just giggled.
Jessica poked at him with an elbow. “I told him that he had to be able to name every person in the family, tell who belonged to whom, and know what things he can or can’t talk about with certain ones of us.”
He gave them a crooked grin. “Don’t talk religion around Joshua. Don’t ask Will about Jenny Pottsworth. Don’t ever tell Carl you’re thinking of building a frame house.”
Carl hooted at that. “That’s right. What man in his right mind would consider building a house of wood?”
Jessica was beaming. “See? He’s a good pupil, don’t you think?”
As the laughter again rippled through the family, Nathan shot a quick glance at Lydia. One eyebrow was up in amazement. She read his meaning instantly, for exactly the same thought had crossed her mind. Jessica was teasing this big, gentle man beside her. They were bantering with each other. This from the woman who even among the family was the one who was most content to sit back and listen to the conversation around her.
Over the years, Jessica had become a very different woman from the one Nathan had met so many years ago on his first trip to Missouri. On that day, she still bore the bruises from Joshua’s fit of rage. She had seemed so frightened, so timid and vulnerable then. And he had thought her plain. How wrong he had been. She was quiet, often content to just sit and listen to those around her, but there was a core of strength in her that amazed him. She still wore her brown hair straight and cut square at the neck, but her face had filled out with age and motherhood, and her features were intelligent and open. As he looked at her now, glowing as she watched Solomon Garrett, she was beautiful, and Nathan had to fight the temptation to sweep her up in his arms and hold her tight and say, “Thank you for being a part of our lives.”
Someone else must have noticed that glow too, because once the laughter died again, Benjamin looked up at Solomon. “So, do you two have any announcements you would like to make?”
There was a stunned silence for a split second; then a kind of collective gasp went up from the family. Jessica nearly choked, and went instantly beet red. Solomon Garrett was only a shade or two behind her.
“Benjamin!” Mary Ann cried, whirling on him. She slapped at his arm. “For heaven’s sake!”
He looked at her in surprise. “What?”
Nathan tried to stifle a smile. Caroline was openly chortling. Derek and Rebecca still looked shocked, as did Matthew and Jennifer Jo.
“Oh, you!” Mary Ann said disgustedly.
“What’s the matter?” he persisted. “It’s what we all want to know, isn’t it? Just because I’m the only one with the courage to ask it.”
“Not courage,” she retorted, “gall!”
Kathryn McIntire sided with him against her foster mother. “Grandpa’s right. They do have something to say.”
Jessica turned to her, mouth open in a cry of betrayal.
“Well, you do!” she laughed, darting away as Jessica made a lunge for her.
“But I thought we would at least get inside the house first,” Jessica said, laughing in spite of her embarrassment.
Solomon moved over to stand beside her and took her hand. “Yes, we do have something to say. It’s not an announcement. Not yet. But it’s something.”
That brought an instant hush to the group. He turned and looked down at her, asking her with his eyes if it was all right to proceed. As she looked up into his face, he needn’t have said anything. That look alone revealed more than he could say, but she nodded for him to go on anyway.
“Last Sunday evening,” Solomon began, still looking at Jessica, “I proposed marriage to this wonderful woman here.”
“Oh, Jessica!” Lydia cried. Rebecca clapped her hands together in an expression of pure joy. Mary Ann’s hand came to her mouth and there were sudden tears in her eyes.
“She hasn’t given me a final answer yet,” Solomon started, “but—”
“She will,” Benjamin cut in. “We’ll see that she says yes before you leave here.”
Mary Ann swung around, genuinely shocked now. “Benjamin Steed!” she exclaimed.
Benjamin simply ignored her. “Jessica may not know her mind yet, but we are all certainly rooting for you, Solomon.”
Jessica was just staring at Benjamin, too dumbfounded to even blush now.
Brushing aside Mary Ann’s withering look, Benjamin walked over to Jessica. He took her in his arms in a big hug, burying his face into her hair. “Jessica,” he whispered into her ear, “you know that we count you as if you were our own flesh and blood, don’t you?”
He felt her head bob up and down against his.
“We have been praying ever since you lost John at H
aun’s Mill that you would find happiness again.”
She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “You have?” she whispered.
“Every day.” He jerked his head in the direction of the tall man behind him. “This is the answer, Jessica.”
Now her eyes were wide with wonder and glistening with happiness. “Do you really think so?” she murmured. She was aware that the family was following very closely this quiet interchange.
“No, I don’t think so. I know so.”
She pulled back even farther. Solomon had taken a step toward them, just beginning to sense what was happening. “But how?” she asked.
“I just know,” answered Benjamin. “And in your heart you know it too. I know why you’re a little afraid. But if you know it and I know it, don’t keep this poor man in pain any longer. Just tell him yes.”
Her eyes were suddenly brimming with tears. She turned to Mary Ann, who was close enough that she had heard every word. Mary Ann was no longer wanting to clap a hand over Benjamin’s mouth. She nodded solemnly. “Grandpa’s right.”
Jessica turned back to Benjamin. Seeing the consternation he had caused only made him chuckle. “Are you ready?” he asked.
She almost fell back a step. “You mean right now?”
“Of course.”
Solomon Garrett was hanging on every word, his head cocked forward a little, hardly daring to believe what was happening.
Suddenly, Jessica laughed, then threw her arms around Benjamin’s neck. “Oh, Grandpa Steed,” she cried. “I love you.”
He was going to make some clever quip, but his voice betrayed him. “And we love you, Jessica,” was all he could manage. “Very much.”
She let him go and turned to Solomon. She took two steps forward. He did the same. And then her face softened. “Yes,” she said.
He stared at her for a moment, and then he whirled toward Nathan. “She said yes.”
“That’s what I heard,” Nathan laughed.
He swung back around, disbelief twisting his face again. “Really?”
“Yes.”
It was Carl who broke the spell. He turned to Melissa and, loud enough for everyone to hear, said, “Remind me to talk to your father about becoming one of my salesmen down at the brickyard.”
As the family erupted with wild joviality, Solomon covered the last two steps between him and Jessica and swept her up in his arms. The women rushed in right behind him and nearly swarmed them both under.
Mary Ann did not join them. Instead she walked over and slipped an arm through Benjamin’s. “You really are quite hopeless, aren’t you?”
“Hopelessly hopeless,” he admitted cheerfully.
Then she gave him a strange look. “Did you really know?”
He nodded. “At Christmas. I was just waiting until Jessica knew too.”
It took about five minutes for the congratulations and the hugs and the handshakes to be concluded, but finally the family started moving into the house. As they did so, Peter hung back. Kathryn and Jennifer Jo were still near the back of the group, holding hands and both talking like competing squirrels. It had been almost three full months since the sisters had last seen each other, and they were holding hands and talking with great animation.
Matthew, seeing Peter, came over to stand beside him. “Kathryn looks good, doesn’t she?”
“She looks wonderful,” Peter said, just a touch too eagerly.
Matthew gave him a sideways look.
“I’ve missed her since she moved to Ramus,” Peter said, a little self-consciously. “We’ve been good friends.”
“Yes,” Matthew said. He took Peter by the shoulder. “Well, let’s go say hello, then.”
As they moved forward, Kathryn glanced in their direction and the smile on her face slowly faded. She half turned to face them.
“Hello, Kathryn.”
“Hello, Peter.” It was said with cool detachment, as though she were being introduced to a passerby.
“It’s good to see you again. How do you like being a teacher?”
“I’m not a teacher, just an assistant teacher.”
“Oh, but still—”
She cut him off with clipped precision. “It’s all right, I guess.” Then she looked at Jennifer Jo. “I suppose we’d better go in and help Grandma Steed.” She turned and flounced away, chin high, head forward, leaving Peter standing there feeling utterly foolish and Matthew looking like he had just witnessed an innocent bystander get hit by a wagon.
When they reached the door, Jennifer Jo took her sister’s elbow. “Kathryn Marie McIntire,” she said in a fierce whisper. “That was absolutely shameful. He was just trying to say hello.”
“Yes,” Kathryn hissed. “Now that Jenny’s married, I’m finally on his list of people to be nice to.”
“That’s not fair, and you know it.”
Kathryn opened the door and just tossed her head, then went inside.
Jennifer Jo stood there for a moment, staring after her. “Oh my,” she finally murmured to herself, “he really did hurt you, didn’t he?”
“Three letters today, Brother and Sister Steed.” Sidney Rigdon, postmaster of Nauvoo, turned around to the row of pigeonholes behind him. “Two from Wisconsin, both for Nathan. One from Palmyra. I assume that’s your mother, Lydia.” He pulled them out and handed them to Nathan and Lydia.
“Thank you, Sidney,” Nathan said.
As they walked outside, Nathan handed Lydia her letter, then looked at his two. He frowned. The top one was from Joshua. He had been expecting it for over a week. If Nathan was going to make it back north in time to help with the rafts, he would have to be going soon. It was already the twenty-sixth of March. He slipped his finger under the fold and broke the small seal. Lydia waited before opening hers, knowing what was coming and already dreading it.
As Nathan quickly read the letter from Joshua, his eyes widened. “Well, well!”
“What?” she asked.
He handed it to her and she read it. She turned to look up at him, her eyes as wide as his. “You don’t have to go?”
“That’s what he says. And I’m sure inclined not to argue about it.”
“But that’s wonderful, Nathan! Your father is going to be pleased too. He’s been worried about having you leave just when you’re getting the land all surveyed and ready to sell.”
“I know. I can’t believe it.”
“Is the second letter from him too?”
He looked at it. “No, it’s from Will.”
“Let’s sit down,” Lydia suggested. “You can read Will’s while I read Mother’s.”
They found an empty bench in front of a dress shop and sat down. Halfway through his letter, Nathan had to stop and look away, feeling a great emptiness in the pit of his stomach. He looked at Lydia, but she was engrossed in her mother’s letter and he decided to finish reading before letting her know. So he continued, his face growing more and more grave, the sickness within deepening with every sentence. When Lydia finally finished and started folding her letter again, Nathan spoke. “How’s your mother?”
“She’s fine. In fact, she sounds quite good.”
“I’m glad.”
“What does Will have to say?” And then she saw his face. “What?”
He handed this letter over to her too, not trusting himself to read it aloud to her. She began to read. First her eyebrows lifted in surprise, then she recoiled. “Oh no!” she exclaimed. Then after a moment, “No!” Still reading, she started to shake her head, one hand coming up to cover her mouth, as though she too were going to be sick. She glanced up at him once. “Oh, Nathan.”
He nodded grimly.
When she finally finished, she let it drop to her lap. “This is terrible, Nathan.”
“I can’t believe it.” Then suddenly his head came up. “That’s why Joshua doesn’t want me going up.”
Her eyes narrowed a little. “You think so?”
He groped for Joshua’s letter, opened i
t, and read the date. He folded it up again. “Both letters are written on the same day, which according to Will is the day after the fight between them.”
“Oh, Nathan! What Will said to him about Jessica and Rachel . . .” She wanted to cry, and surprisingly it was as much for Joshua as for Will.
Nathan reached out and took her hand. He was quiet for almost half a minute before he spoke. “They were both hurt, and so they struck back where they could inflict the most damage.” The bleakness swept over him like a chill wind. “But I think Will has done the greater damage.”
“So what do we do?”
He tipped his head back, rubbing his fingers against his temples, not sure even how to begin to formulate an answer to that. And then Lydia so startled him that he jerked forward again.
“You’ve got to go,” she said simply.
He stared at her. “You read what Will said. Joshua thinks I am responsible for what happened. That’s why he’s saying don’t come.” But then instantly he nodded. “Yes. You’re right.” The euphoria of a few minutes before was totally dashed now. “I’ll leave tomorrow.”
He stood to face her, gathering her in his arms. Then suddenly he had another thought. “No, tomorrow’s too late. Will said he’s not going to run away from this, that he’ll stay on until I get back up there. But I’m not sure how long that will last. If there’s another blowup between them . . .”
Now his mind was racing. “I’ll go to Joshua’s stables and take one of his horses. We can either bring it back with us or leave it as one of the draft animals. If I ride hard, sleep only when I have to, I think I can make it in seven or eight days.”
Pillar of Light Page 295