“Who says she was protective?”
“Okay, then what was her motivation? She was the mean old aunt who liked tormenting little girls?”
She didn’t know. She’d never talked to her aunt about it. Not after she’d tried to discuss unhappiness...to tell her what her uncle did... “No. I don’t know.”
“What about your uncle?”
“Dick-head.”
“What?”
“That’s what I call him.”
“To his face?”
“No. In my mind. Where it’s safe.”
“You liked him even less than you liked your aunt?”
An insidious revulsion filled her mind as Abby remembered the man. “He was worse than my aunt. Much worse.”
Frown lines formed between his brows. “What did he do?”
No. She couldn’t tell him. Not and risk his pity or the possibility he might see her as immature and unable to handle her past. “No, it’s not...it’s nothing.”
His frown intensified. “When did you leave New York?”
“When I was seventeen. I went to college, got my bachelor’s in Humanities and never looked back.”
“Are you going to spend holidays with your aunt and uncle this year?”
“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen them in over two years. I tried then to...” She faltered, unable to explain, with the strength of her dislike for them so raw and sudden. She licked her lips and tried again. “I attempted to spend Christmas and New Year’s with them then. It was a horrible mess.”
“Right before you started the bookstore with Becca?”
“Yeah. I’ll never spend another holiday with them again.” Memories came back again, edging into her mind where Abby didn’t want them.
Curiosity still showed on his face as Nick moved from the stool and set the kettle back on the range to heat. “Sounds pretty final.”
“It is.” She could hear the defiance in her words, as if she had to convince him.
Long ago Abby had stopped trying to convince people, of having to explain herself to them and wanting their approval. At twenty-nine, she needed to grow up and snip the strings that tied her to an imperfect past.
“Families are strange creatures,” he said, returning to the stool.
She saw the opening to change the subject. “What about your family?”
Warmth ignited his gaze. “My family is great.”
“Are you going back to Denver for Christmas? I can hold down the fort while you and Becca are gone.”
“I’m not going now that I have a job with your store.”
“But I don’t want you to miss the holidays with them if you’d planned before—”
“No.” Nick put his hand over hers. “It’s no problem. They’re renting cabins up at Beggar’s Point for the holidays.”
“Then you’ll be close to them. That’s great.”
“They want me to come up there during the holidays.”
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem with Becca—”
“I’m not going to take that much time. All those days with his huge family? It would drive me crazy. They know I’m on a retreat for a while. I’d like to go up after we close shop Christmas Eve, then come back the day after Christmas.”
Despite the pleasure his touch instilled in her, Abby pulled her hand from under his. It wouldn’t do to get too comfortable. “Sounds like fun.”
“It used to be.”
“Used to be?”
He gave her a slow, rueful grin. “Something is missing. I need time to figure out what it is. Why the joy isn’t there anymore.” He shrugged. “I think I know what’s wrong. But I don’t know how to fix it.”
A deep, startling linkage grew in her heart. Without her Christmas, the one she’d always wanted, that sense of something missing would continue haunting her days and nights. This year she’d have her Christmas. Isolated maybe, but with the lights and tinsel and holiday music she wanted. Abby knew that Christmas this year would be different. One way or another, it would change her life.
“I know what you mean,” she said.
He looked at her steadily, assessing. “I think you just might.”
Disconcerted, she slid off the stool. “I’d better get home. Thanks for the lunch. I want to put up the rest of the decorations I bought yesterday.”
“The decorations from hell.” He chuckled. “Your shopping spree the other day reminds me of what my mother used to do. She loves decorating the house for Christmas, and I remember when I was a kid, she used to drag us kids everywhere shopping. Shopaholic describes her perfectly. I think that’s why I hate it. The crowds, all the people. Sometimes it was too much.”
“I thought I detected a certain reluctance when I kept giving you boxes.”
“You were doing it to punish me.”
“I was not.”
“Yeah, you were. I could see it in those gorgeous eyes of yours. You loved every minute of it.” He winked.
“Got something in your eye?”
Nick grinned salaciously. “I’ll go get your coat.”
After he helped Abby on with the coat and came around to face her, he settled his hands on her shoulders. “Abby, are you okay?”
She realized that her shoulders had tensed when he touched her, and her whole body had drawn as tight as a crossbow ready to fire. Abby took a cleansing breath. “Sure, I’m fine.”
Looking unconvinced, Nick said, “I’m glad you had lunch with me.”
“So am I.” She realized that even when she’d talked about her childhood, she’d liked his company.
“Stop,” he said suddenly.
She squinted. “What?”
He closed the short distance between them and cupped her cheek in one hand. “Stop chewing on your lower lip like that.” Nick’s gaze swept her face, a sweltering assessment that knew her and took every wall down. “Because if you don’t, I’ll have to kiss you.”
Abby’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. The man had caught her off guard umpteen times since she’d met him. But his touch curtailed more than his words.
“In fact,” he said, his thumb skimming over her lower lip. “If I catch you doing it again, I will kiss you.”
The flick of his thumb along her lip strummed a chord deep within her belly, as if he caressed her far more intimately. He had tilted her world, and she swung on the axis.
It would be too damned easy to fall for his charming personality. Everything he did seemed determined to win her in that direction. Nick released her.
Astonished and somewhat dazed, she murmured, “You’re too much, Nick Claussen.”
“Too much what?”
“You’re so complex, I don’t think I’d ever figure you out.”
He jammed his hands in his pockets, as if trying to keep from touching her again. “I’m not complex. I want simple things.”
“No. I mean that story you told the kids this morning about the elf. Your imagination is incredible.”
“How much imagination does it take to tell a true story?”
“What were you trying to tell me with that story, Nick? That you want to be my friend?”
“I’m already your friend...if you’ll let me be.”
Abby took a shaky breath. This was getting far too serious and scary. She started toward the door. “I’ll see you Monday.”
As he opened the door for her and she stepped out, Nick said, “Call me when you get home so I know you got home safely.”
“Roger wilco.”
“And Abby...remember what I said about your lip.”
8
Monday morning the phone rang at five thirty, acting as an alarm clock for Nick. His heart pounding, he practically shot out of bed to grab the receiver.
“Nicky, did I wake you?” His mom’s sweet, soft voice did little to stop his galloping heart.
“No mom,” he said. The alarm clock would go off in thirty minutes anyway. “What’s up? Is everything all right?”
“I’m sor
ry dear, I know it’s early in the morning, but I wanted to catch you before you go off to work.” She cleared her throat, and he heard a drawer shutting in the background. “Nicky, I know we said we wouldn’t interfere, but your father and I wanted to let you know you can come back to our house anytime for a visit if you get lonely up there in Russel. We miss you terribly.”
Wonderful. He felt the motherly guilt-trip building, the one every mom perfected from the moment her children came into the world.
“Mom—”
“Just hear me out, dear. I know you’re hurting. And your father is really worried about you.”
He rolled onto his back. “Mom, I’m not depressed. We discussed this before. I need some time to think. Doing the Santa job has helped already. I’ll be so busy spreading Christmas cheer I won’t even have time to think.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, but knowing that doesn’t keep us from worrying.”
Nick added his own sigh. “You’re great mom, but I’m not going to break down. You guys are coming up for the holidays anyway, so we’ll visit then.”
“But Candace said she’d talked to you and that you might change your mind and come down here instead. That’s one of the reasons why I called. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind and wanted to come back to Denver.”
Immediately, anger filled him. “When did you talk to her?”
“She called yesterday. She said that you said you might come down for Christmas Eve and stay until New Year’s.”
“She knows that isn’t the way it is. I told her—” He broke off his tirade. “I need to call her and straighten some things out.” A strange impulse reared in him like a devil. “Besides, I —I’ve met someone else.”
“You mean Abby Manners?”
“Exactly.”
His mother’s soft voice turned even softer. “Candace is not going to like that.”
Nick switched the phone to his other ear. “I don’t think Candace and I ought to see each other anymore, Mom. I’ve come to my senses where she’s concerned.”
“That’s wonderful.”
He laughed. “I knew you’d say that.”
“Well, Nicky, she’s just not...just not for you. I never understood what you saw in her.”
He closed his eyes. “No lectures if you don’t mind. We were just dating, nothing more.”
“So I guess the chicken soup did wonders.” Mischief had entered her voice, and Nick braced himself for an onslaught of questions.
“Yeah. You know, the way to a man’s stomach….”
His mother laughed. “Always worked on your father, dear. Anyway, she really does sound wonderful.”
“She’s beautiful.” The words exited his mouth before he could stop himself. Damn. He swapped gears, hoping she’d fall in line. “Did you get that package I sent?”
“Yes. We’ve got the presents lined up under the tree already. Have you got a tree yet?”
He put his hand over his eyes. “No.”
“Well, see if your girlfriend can help you pick it out.”
She peppered Nick with a dozen questions, and he found himself talking about Abby with enthusiasm. As if she really was his girlfriend and planned to spend the holidays with him. He scowled. Great, now his whole family would call and want to know about Abby.
Mom will be on the phone to my sisters and brothers after she finishes talking to me.
After giving all of Abby’s vital stats—hair color, approximate height, and eye color—Nick managed to switch his mother to other topics. Shortly after, they ended the call.
He’d tried to be patient, realizing that his parents thought he might never come back to work with Claussen Resorts. They didn’t know if his brother Mason could stand the rigors of being an executive officer. But Nick had confidence in his brother.
Even if they had been assured about Mason’s abilities, they’d still want to mend Nick’s heart. But they had to stop trying to heal him. Stop trying to cure him when no amount of parental comfort would take away the pain. He had to eliminate the ache himself. Deena’s death had drilled a hole in his heart and it would take time to recover from something that devastating. But he found he already thought less and less about Deena now that he worked at the mall and had different surroundings. Distinct distractions.
Of course, now he’d gone and screwed things up. His parents expected to meet Abby at Christmas, and that wasn’t going to happen. He doubted Abby would be interested. Besides, if he invited her to the cabins, wouldn’t she get the wrong idea about his intentions?
Nick tossed the bedcovers back and sat up.
He recalled Abby’s kiss yesterday and an instant ache flared in his groin. When he’d kissed her, held her, he’d wanted more than a hot embrace. Something naked and primitive had driven him. He’d wanted to fill her warm body with his, drive his hardness deep into her and watch her face suffuse with ecstasy as he thrust. Simply thinking about it made him hotter than hell.
He cursed his libido. “Damn, I need something to douse these flames.”
Disturbed by the intensity of his fantasy, Nick headed for the shower and hoped cold water would destroy his illicit fantasies.
Nick lost his Christmas spirit the minute he saw Mark Foreman heading toward Abby after eleven o’clock that morning.
Nick scratched at his Santa beard, irritated with himself for caring. After all, he might have told his parents he had a claim on Abby, but talking about it didn’t make it real.
Dressed in blue chinos and a green sweater, Mark had clearly cleaned up to see Abby. He put his hand on her shoulder. Abby smiled.
Nick frowned.
Bits and pieces of Abby and Mark’s conversation drifted to Nick. Careless, he sometimes found himself tuning out the children as they rattled off their Christmas list.
“You okay, Santa?” came the tiny question from the girl sitting on his lap.
Nick jerked back to attention. “I’m fine, Jenny. Tell Santa what you’d like for Christmas.”
As the girl recited a significant list that showed no signs of abating anytime soon, he caught more snatches of discussion between Abby and Mark.
“When did you say she’d be by today?” Abby asked.
“One o’clock. I hope she won’t be butting in on anything, but she’s adamant.”
“I think it’s a great idea.”
Nick glanced over at Mark, who in turn pinned him with a blasé look. Mark turned his gaze back to Abby. “I know how much work you have to do, and Edna used to be a librarian.”
Nick turned his attention back to Jenny, who by this time had grown a frown like grass sprouts toadstools. “So you want a new Barbie doll, Jenny?”
“No,” she whined. “I want a truck like my brother.”
Nick glanced up and noticed the child’s mother had a pained look on her face. “Well, I’ll see what I can do.”
“You’d let me play with a truck?”
“Of course, if that’s what you wanted.”
Jenny jumped off his lap and ran to her mother. “See, mamma, see? Santa doesn’t mind getting me a truck.”
At the woman’s disgusted glance, Nick wondered what he’d done wrong—saying that he’d give her a truck if he was her parent, or that as a girl she should get a truck if she wanted?
“I’d love to go out,” Nick heard Abby say.
All of the children had gone, so he could train his attention back to Abby and Mark. An uncharacteristic upheaval of anger rolled inside his gut. She should be helping him instead of talking to Mark.
“Great. I’ll be ready by eight,” Abby said.
“Looking forward to it.” Mark sent her another wink.
Nick wanted to pluck the guy’s twitchy eye out. He shrugged, working the tension from his shoulders.
Big deal, Claussen.
If she found the guy attractive and wanted to date him, it wasn’t any of his business. Unfortunately, this rationale didn’t make him feel better.
In fact, as time passed, Nick w
ondered about the earlier part of the conversation. Was Abby considering a replacement for him at the store? From what he’d overheard, it sounded feasible.
Wonderful. Had his kiss pushed her to fire him?
Nothing had felt so right on Saturday as when he’d wrapped his arms around her and let the heat of her lips erase the cold snow. She’d molded her mouth to his, soft and giving, then returned the pressure, brushing her tongue against his. Her body had arched, pressing her breasts against him, her hips curving against his loins.
No doubt about it. She’d enjoyed the kiss as much as he had.
When the roar of the engine had startled her and she’d leaned back, he’d seen surprise, passion, and maybe even regret. He knew much more about her from sampling her lips than any conversation they’d had thus far.
Even their discussion over nachos had revealed fascinating pieces of her past. Something ate away at Abby, something that left her unable to trust most people...especially men. Before she’d invited him to talk to the kids at the library he’d been tempted to give up on any relationship beyond employer and employee. Why should he make the effort to break through and solve the mystery of Abby Manners?
After their kiss and the revealing conversation, Nick remained determined to understand what had happened to his inscrutable Pixie. If she told him what haunted her, if she allowed him a piece of her heart, he might be able to help her.
Later, after their shift as Santa and elf concluded, he couldn’t stand the suspense. As they walked back to the staff areas that served as dressing rooms, he stopped her.
He pulled off his hat and beard. “Are you going to fire me?”
Abby’s eyes widened. “What? Where did you get that idea?”
“You’re taking about hiring another employee. I heard you talking with Mark.”
“His Aunt Edna wants something to do and when Mark mentioned the store, she jumped on the idea of volunteering on Saturdays.” She frowned. “You actually thought I was going to fire you?”
“I figure the idea crosses your mind about a dozen times a day.”
All I Want for Christmas Page 9
