“And you just happened to be there?” I asked with disgust, hating she’d been around to influence my sister when she was most vulnerable. Damn. Marlow had lost my niece or nephew. And then her husband. No wonder she was so angry.
“I’ve always been there. I told you that.”
“I need some air.” Dad pushed off the bar and stumbled in a daze toward the exit.
I started after him, but Baker held me. “Give him a minute.”
“Stay away from my family.” Andrew got up in her face. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but you cannot destroy us.”
“Oh, darling. I can do anything I want to.”
“You’ve done enough.”
We all jolted in surprise to find Dad standing behind us. I guessed he hadn’t said all he’d wanted to.
“I didn’t tell her to come.” My sister was insistent.
“I don’t know if I can trust you, Marlow.” The hurt on his face slayed me. “I’ve got your message loud and clear, Ivette. Now what is it you want?”
She smiled that of an angel. “I told you. To see my son get married.” She turned to me. “And introduce my other son to his father.”
Chapter Forty
Baker
The instinct to grab Holt around his waist was automatic.
He didn’t seem to feel it, his face ashen as he swayed. His mother looked triumphant when a man muscled his way to the front.
I gasped. Mr. Dixon reached for the bar for support. Andrew balled his fists at his sides. Marlow’s face twisted in horror.
The striking resemblance was too much to ignore. A tall, muscular build. Caramel hair. Even their olive skin tone was the same.
Holt trembled in my hold as he stared at the man. Everything over the last few days melted away to nothing. Only this bombshell remained, and I felt Holt’s pain as if it were my own.
He said nothing. His face blank, devoid of the emotion percolating under the surface.
The man stepped forward and extended his hand. Holt recoiled and looked at that hand as though it were that of the devil himself.
“We probably should have done this before.” He refused to drop his hand.
“You’re not my father.”
Holt lifted his chin and didn’t make a move to shake hands.
“Are you that unhappy with your life that you have to screw with ours? You gave this up,” Andrew shouted.
His mother appeared pleased with the chaos she’d unleashed.
“I thought I wanted to know you," Holt said, leveling her with his sharp gaze. “But I was wrong. I can’t stand the sight of you any longer.”
Holt moved with determined steps toward the bar exit, and I followed. Once we were outside next to an old pickup truck, he doubled over and braced his arms on his knees as he struggled for breath.
I rubbed his back as he heaved, at a total loss for words. Based on looks alone, I’d say his mother was telling the truth. I could barely process it myself, let alone begin to imagine what was going through Holt’s mind.
It wasn’t long before he stood, a vacancy in his eyes. He stabbed a key into the passenger side door lock and yanked the door open. I climbed inside the cab. He jogged around the front and slammed the door behind him.
He dropped the keys twice as he tried to put them in the ignition. I scooted closer and touched his thigh. He stared at my hand a moment before he made another attempt, this time successful.
We peeled out and barreled away from town into the darkness. Tremors wracked his body as he gripped the steering wheel. Helpless, I ran circles over his jeans with my thumb. His knuckles grew whiter the longer we drove.
* * *
He turned off the main road down a dirt drive flanked with evergreens. A cabin with a single porch light on came into view.
Without a word, he parked and jumped out of the truck, leaving the door open behind him. I exited on his side and shut it as he unlocked the front door of the house and disappeared inside.
I followed. A spot near the fireplace illuminated by the moon was the only light. The click of the lock echoed in the silence. I wrapped my arms around my middle and shivered. Holt stood in the center of the room, shoulders hunched, keys at his feet.
I moved until I was in front of him. I slid my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. His heart thudded in my ear, an erratic pounding.
We stood like that for what felt like an eternity, yet not long enough.
He lifted his arms and enveloped me so tight in them I could barely breathe. He dropped his cheek to the top of my head. Eventually, his rapid breathing slowed.
A phone rang from his front pocket, but neither of us moved. Mine started from across the room where I’d dropped my purse. There was only a beat of silence before they began to ring in tandem.
“We should let them know we’re safe,” I whispered.
He made no move, so I fished his phone from his pocket and answered.
“Where are you?” Andrew’s desperate voice boomed in my ear.
“He’s safe,” I said.
“Baker?”
“Now isn’t a good time.”
“I need to talk to him.”
Holt didn’t move.
“Tomorrow,” I said, fisting his shirt in my hand. “Let’s all take a breath and regroup tomorrow.”
Andrew let out a frustrated sigh. “Okay. Just . . . tell him I love him.”
“I will.” I gripped the phone. “How’s your dad?”
“Not speaking. I—this is such a mess.”
“But you’ll get through it because you have each other.”
“Yeah. Don’t forget to tell him what I said.”
“I won’t.”
I ended the call and dropped his phone on the coffee table.
“Andrew said to tell you he loves you.”
Holt stopped breathing for a second before he scooped me into his arms. He carried me up to the loft bedroom and gently laid me on the bed.
“I’m going to wash my face. Help yourself to a T-shirt."
He disappeared into the bathroom, but didn’t shut the door. I spotted his bag on the floor and grabbed a T-shirt from inside. I breathed in deep, the scent of Holt enveloping me as I changed into it.
The toilet flushed. The faucet ran and stopped.
“I left a clean towel on the sink if you need it,” he said when he reappeared.
“Thanks.” I quickly washed up and flipped off the light.
I felt my way to the bed and crawled on top of the covers. Holt’s scent assaulted me again, minus the hint of motor oil. Longing filled me.
Holt stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed under the covers. I snuggled against him. His arm went around me, and he tucked my head under his chin.
“This is the first time I’ve felt right in days.”
Me too.
“Holt.”
“Don’t say it, Easy. I know why you’re here. Because you’re good.” He twirled a strand of hair around his finger. “You’ll stay until you think I’m okay, even though you’re pissed as hell at me. Which is more than I deserve, considering.”
I drew circles on his chest. “Holt—”
He pressed his fingers against my lips. “Shh. It’s selfish, but I need this. I need you.”
I burrowed deeper into him. I need you too.
There wasn’t any future for us, especially after seeing him with that other woman, but this hug? I needed it more than anything else at that moment. And I fell asleep . . . peaceful.
* * *
I woke to an empty bed and a chill in my bones. I pulled the covers up over my mouth. The sound of pots clanged down below.
“Shit.” Something banged on the counter—Holt’s fist I guessed.
I wandered down the stairs to find Holt yanking on his hair as he stared in the cabinets.
He jolted his head toward me. His eyes roved my bare legs before he returned them to the cupboard.
“No coffee,” he grunted.
I leaned against the fridge. “Want me to go get some?”
“I should get you back to the hotel.”
He stormed past me and stomped up the stairs. I followed, this need to comfort him overruling everything else.
Holt closed the bathroom door, but I caught it just before it shut. If he noticed, he said nothing, simply shed his underwear and turned on the shower. He stepped inside the small stall without letting the water warm.
I stripped his T-shirt over my head and shimmied out of my panties.
What are you doing, Baker?
I straightened my shoulders.
What I want.
Holt started when I stepped in behind him. I yelped when the ice water hit my feet.
“Get out, Easy, if you don’t want anything to happen,” he said, voice low.
“Have you been with anyone besides me since you’ve been back?” I pushed around him so I could see his face. Cold spray hit my back. I hissed, but stood my ground. The image of that woman fought to the front and center of my mind.
I shoved it down.
Lifted my chin.
Waited for him to answer.
“No.”
I splayed my hands on his chest. He turned us and backed me against the wall, caging me in.
“Haven’t wanted to either.”
I swallowed hard. “The way you touched her—”
“I know what it must’ve looked like, but I was trying to get her away from me. I want nothing to do with her and told her as much.”
The steel behind his words made me believe him. I knew as well as anyone how being caught in the wrong moment could make someone look guilty, even when they weren’t.
"I believe you."
“That’s the past I didn’t want you to see. I want to forget it. Forget her.”
“Then let’s forget,” I whispered, cupping his face with my hands.
He stared at me in disbelief. Wiped away a lock of hair matted against my forehead. “Why would you do this for me?”
“I’m doing it for me too.” We both deserved to feel good, even if it was only temporary.
His lids drifted closed, and he shuddered. He traced my face with his fingertips, down my neck, shoulders, arms. Memorizing. Because this was it.
The last time.
“So fucking beautiful.” He hadn’t opened his eyes.
His hands skimmed down my hips to the seam between my legs.
“Holt. Please.”
I clawed at his neck as he plunged a finger inside of me. “Me too, Easy. Me too.”
Slowly, he pumped, a single digit, stroking until I began to buzz. I fisted his cock and matched his rhythm. A rumble escaped his throat. I dragged his head to mine and fought for his lips. I needed his kiss, the connection that made me complete.
“Stop,” he panted into my mouth. “You’re gonna make me come. I don’t want to yet.”
I squeezed the head of his cock, and he hissed. “Are you sure?”
He withdrew his finger and peeled my hand from his shaft. I shivered when he finally graced me with those heated eyes.
“You cold?”
He lifted me, and I crossed my ankles in the small of his back. He turned so I was in the now warm water.
“Put me inside of you.”
I teased my clit with the tip. He gritted his teeth as I slid him between my slick heat. His head was swollen, his shaft throbbed in my hand. When I guided him inside, we sagged against each other.
He thrust until he hit home, and we stilled.
“Make me forget,” I whispered.
Like a snapped cord, whatever held him back broke loose. Holt slid his hands under my ass, lifting and lowering me onto him like he’d never have the chance again.
I peppered his face with kisses and clawed his shoulders. With every thrust, I saw sparks, until I was flying.
“Easy.”
He slowed his pace, and I whimpered, going limp against him. He hooked a finger under my chin. Stared into my eyes. Made love to me, slowly. Sweetly. Until I clamped around him again, this time my release rolling over me in a steady wave.
Holt held me as he came, flooding me with his release. He kissed me long and hard. When our mouths broke apart, we were silent.
I clung to him and committed this moment to memory. This was what I would hold onto. This would give me comfort when I got lonely.
Because as we washed each other and he tucked a towel around me when we were finished, I knew our time was done.
We’d had our goodbye.
Chapter Forty-One
Holt
Baker gave.
And I took.
Same as it had always been.
I stuffed my wallet in my back pocket. Refused to look at her as she put on the dress she’d worn the night before.
That, what happened in the shower, it felt a whole lot like goodbye. I thought that was what I wanted, what I had to do, until it was staring me in the face.
Now I didn’t want it at all.
But she did.
“I’ll go get the truck warmed up,” I mumbled as she searched the floor, for what I didn’t know.
One of her shoes was at the bottom of the staircase, the other dumped over by the coffee table. Just like home.
A pang of longing hit me square in the chest. Home. I wanted it so bad, but everything was shot to hell.
I swiped my keys off the hardwood floor and was almost to the door when someone knocked. I detoured to the window, pulled the curtain sheer back, then let it float into place.
“Sorry to come by so early.” Rob tugged on the brim of his cowboy hat. “Heard you were in town and wanted to see if I could get that rent check.”
“Uh, sure.” I stepped out of the doorway to let him inside. “I’m out of coffee.” I motioned toward the sofa. “Let me get my checkbook.”
I scratched the side of my neck. Where the hell had I put it?
Baker came down the stairs, grabbing a shoe on her way.
“If this is a bad time . . .” He paused halfway to his seat.
“No. No.” I waved him off.
“Hello,” Baker said as I went upstairs.
I snatched my checkbook off the dresser and bolted back down the stairs. No need to leave the two of them alone longer than necessary. Rob liked to run his mouth.
“That Holt sure is good at making friends wherever he goes,” he said as I returned. “You’re not from around here. If you were, I’d remember you.”
Baker gave him a rigid smile as she stabbed her foot into a shoe. “Nope. Definitely not from around here.”
I scrawled out a check and ripped it from the book. “This should cover what I owe.”
Rob examined it. “So you aren’t moving out?”
Baker refused to look at me.
“I need more time.”
“Suits me.” He slapped his hands on this thighs and stood. “I better be going.”
He disappeared out the front door. I studied Baker from the end of the sofa as she stared at something straight ahead. The silence was oppressive. Even the sound of the heat cutting on did nothing to break the awkwardness.
When she stood and faced me, she’d schooled her features into a polite expression one might give a stranger.
“You’ve got lots to do.” She waved her hand around. “Like get settled back in.”
I gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah.”
* * *
Instead of making the turn toward her hotel, I kept straight, away from civilization. If Baker noticed, she didn’t say a word. Whatever was out the window was far more interesting than I was.
I navigated to a stretch of open space where a herd of bison were known to roam. They didn’t let me down, their chocolate forms dotting the landscape.
I pulled into a dirt drive and parked.
“Do you think animals are happier than we are?” Baker’s question floated like she’d spoken it to no one in particular.
“In some respects, y
es. Others, no. Living in the wild, it’s hard.”
“Civilization is too.”
I snorted and looked out the windshield. “Yeah. Civilization is too.”
“I used to want to run away where no one could find me. Be free like they are.”
I understood that sentiment better than I cared to admit. It was partly how I’d ended up in Wyoming.
“You can’t run away from the things you want to forget. They follow you.”
“I know.”
I leaned my head against the back glass. “The older I got, I think I knew Dad might not be my biological father. My mother left right after I was born. For another man. So there had to be a fifty/fifty shot.”
“Just because she said that man is your father doesn’t make it true.”
My instincts were all over the place. I hoped he wasn’t, but physically, it was hard to deny. That was how my life had always been in that arena. Beyond cruel.
“For a while, I convinced myself he didn’t know. Because if he did, that meant neither of my parents wanted me. It was hard enough knowing one didn’t.”
I traced the steering wheel.
“It’s not really fair to my dad, the one who raised me. I spent so much time focused on my mother. Why didn’t she want me? What wasn’t good enough? I just wanted a mom, even though I knew deep down I didn’t need her. Because Dad, he—” A lump formed in my throat.
“He loves you enough for more than two parents.”
I nodded and fought the sting in my eyes.
“All along I wondered why I wasn’t enough, but he had to be thinking the same thing. Not only did the woman he love leave him, but he knew we all thought about her. Wanted her to come back. That had to hurt, you know?”
“I’m sure it did.” She covered my hand with hers.
“Now? There’s the man my mother claims is my father. And I don’t want to know that anymore. I hate that I got what I wished for for so long. My mother back in my life. I’m better off—we all were—because she wasn’t around.”
I slumped down, drained by the whole thing.
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 21
