“You mentioned you’re a partner now?” This was something she had been thinking about, but as far as I knew, nothing came of it.
“Yeah, just a small share. I wanted to invest, and Nix was nice enough to agree. His rich, soon-to-be stepdad can basically cover the lot, but Nix let me take a piece.”
“That’s great. I’m proud of you.”
I listen as her voice catches, my words likely having a similar effect on her like she just had on me.
“Thanks. I do a few shifts a week at a café just to cover expenses, since all my money is tied up now, especially after sending Mom and Dad away. But I’m really happy.”
I smile, happy for her, as well as sad to have missed so much.
“So, when are you guys hoping to open?”
“We’re going to wait until the New Year. We could probably push to open sooner, but it just makes more sense to wait, especially since we’re going to New Zealand over Christmas and New Years for Nix’s mom’s wedding. The apartment above still has a lot of work to do. They’ve been focusing on the restaurant first.”
Above the restaurant, Nix is having an apartment built for him and Harvey.
Thinking about this pushes forward the urge to ask Scarlett why she moved into the house she’s residing in now, but I sense that will be a step too far into her personal business and could take this easy chat into a nasty turn.
“Did you end up finishing that shifter series you were in love with?” I ask instead, changing the subject.
“Oh, my God!” she gasps.
I smile, picturing her getting worked up over it. I already overheard Harvey whining to Joey about how much he had to listen to Scarlett talk his and Nix’s ear off over how disappointed she was by the end.
“It was awful! She killed everyone in the end! And I mean everyone! What kind of author does that? I mean, it was a romance series and she killed the romance! The world legit ended, and the bad guys won! I have never been so depressed over a book before. I finished it feeling like everything was wrong with the world. It didn’t help that we had just …” As she trails off, I know she was going to mention our breakup.
I guess this wasn’t such a safe subject after all.
“So, no more books from that author then?” I ask, hoping to take her out of the obvious melancholy moment.
“No, I’ve been sticking to trusted authors for now.”
It’s almost a contradiction of what people know about Scarlett with how much she enjoys reading. She is always so wild and active that the idea of her sitting around for hours at a time reading just doesn’t seem to fit her DNA. But, since I often passed out early when we were together, she would grab her books and get to reading.
Sometimes, I would be dozing and wake to find her reading. I would watch her expressions. I’m not sure if she even realizes she does this, but her lips often move as she reads in her mind, and she smiles and sighs often.
It was such a wonderful and special sight to see her experience something so magical. Even when she was getting annoyed by a book, I felt enchanted by her expressions. I always knew that the next day I would get either an excited or angry rant over what she had read the day before.
Not many people know that passion about her, and I’m sad that I have missed out on so much since we broke up.
“How about you? Did you stick to those gym classes you started taking?”
I groan, not feeling much better about them even after all these months. “Yes, I go to the gym most days, but I suck at the classes. Boot camp, kickboxing, and abs class are killers. I basically drag my feet there most days. Though, I don’t feel like dying when I take them now.” I smile, remembering many times I gingerly crawled over to Scarlett and whined about how much my body ached. She was always able to make me forget, even if just for a short while.
“I am really loving yoga, though. I find it so relaxing, even if I was awful at it to begin with. Spin is also a favorite, but I think I like the fact that I can sit through it, and I cheat all the time by putting my resistance down when no one is looking.”
She laughs, and my breath catches again as the sound washes over me.
Damn, I have missed her laugh so much.
“Wow, I thought you looked fitter when I saw you at the wedding. You had some guns!”
I snort, knowing that anyone looking at my biceps would never call them guns. I have gained some muscle mass, yet I can’t seem to keep much of it. I’ve even changed my diet to help me pack on some weight, but my body just won’t cooperate.
“Thanks for trying to make me feel better. My looking like a waif has come in handy a few times. I am always being underestimated.”
“You’ve had to fight people?” She sounds quiet, but I can’t read her tone.
Is she getting tired? Bored? Or could she be worried?
“I’ve had to throw a couple punches, but nothing for work. More like when a girls’ night out turns nasty.”
She laughs, her relief obvious. “Nix always complains about those things, even though I think he secretly loves them.”
I aim a small smile at the house before gazing intently again around the street, finding nothing has changed. “Things have definitely gotten more interesting and messy since he came along.”
“Do you guys still do them much?”
“We do them whenever we get a chance. With Sasha giving up alcohol then getting pregnant, they have become scarce. She was the main instigator in arranging them. I think she gets jealous that she can’t drink when we are.” I shake my head, thinking over the many crazy times I have had with everyone.
I glance down at my phone when it vibrates against my ear. Speaking of the devil. I have a message from Sasha waiting for me. When I see the first word in the message is Larissa, I decide to wait before opening it.
“Thank you for allowing me to come to the wedding. I know Sasha wouldn’t have cared if I wasn’t invited. I’m sure she asked you if you were okay with it. I had a lot of fun.”
I swallow hard as things shift back into murky water again. “Sasha likes you, Scarlett. I know things haven’t been the same since we ended, and I know she has been loyal to me, but she has never had a problem with you.”
“Her narrowed eyes and the fact that we’ve barely spoken in months says otherwise.”
Guilt tugs at me, knowing Sasha would have totally acted that way toward her. “I’m sorry you think that and that she’s been acting like that toward you. I think …” I clear my throat, not sure if I should admit this or not. I don’t want Scarlett to feel bad, but perhaps it might stop her from feeling badly about Sasha. “Sasha’s seen me through a couple of breakups. None have affected me like ours.”
She becomes quiet, and I hold my breath, worried I might have stepped over a line.
“It has affected me more than I thought it would, too,” she finally admits quietly.
“I wish …” I sigh, my head hitting the headrest. “I wish I could go back in time and—”
“Don’t,” she begs, the tremor in her voice forcing me to hold my breath. “I can’t do this right now, not tonight.”
I nod, not that she can see me. It feels like the words unspoken are that we will never be ready to have this conversation.
“Okay,” I agree, my own voice dipped in angst. “Listen, I need to talk to you tomorrow.”
“About what?”
“About your place. From what I can see, it’s not safe. And I need to go over what your routine is like on an average day—what ways you travel and the people you have contact with; things like that. I need to assess where potential dangers are. And we can talk about what steps you need to take to minimalize your exposure.”
Getting back to the job at hand eases my heartache just a little.
“Wow, that sounds like quite the conversation. I’m awake now if you want to just do it tonight?”
“It needs to be in person, and right now, I want to give myself a feel for your place. Tomorrow is best.”
&n
bsp; “Okay, I will message Nix tomorrow morning and tell him I’ll be in late. Is early better for you?”
“That will suit me fine,” I say, glancing over a couple who are farther down the street. They look to be arguing beside what I assume is their car. Hands are waving in the air and muffled voices carry down to where I am, but they certainly aren’t a threat to Scarlett. Although, if they get any louder, they might threaten her sleep.
“I know this isn’t easy for either of us, but I appreciate you doing this for me and for keeping it just between us.”
I smile sadly, wishing that, if this had to happen at all, it wouldn’t have been under these circumstances, where there needs to be hidden truths and lies. If we were still together, I could better protect her, and I wouldn’t feel like I’m on the outside, a stranger looking in.
The arguing couple appear to run out of steam, given the woman gets in the car and flies down the road in seconds. The man watches for a moment before he storms back inside.
I again look over the rundown houses matching Scarlett’s, the beat-up vehicles and, in some cases, bags of trash littering the sidewalks. This is not a place I ever expected Scarlett to be, and I hate that circumstances have led her to be here, whatever they may be.
“I’ll try to keep my promise, Scarlett, but if I think you might be in serious trouble, I won’t put your life in unnecessary danger,” I warn.
“Okay, I understand that. But until I’m proven not to be just paranoid, this stays between us,” she says like she is stating a fact, yet I hear her uncertainty.
Is she worried I will betray her trust again?
“Yes,” I decide to answer, hoping I’m not making a huge mistake by agreeing to this.
“Good.” She then sighs. “I’ll let you get back to whatever it is you do on a stakeout. I’ll speak to you tomorrow?”
“I’ll knock on your door at seven sharp.”
She groans, and I smile. Since Scarlett is a night owl, she has never been a morning person. It’s probably why she has always had jobs where her shifts don’t start earlier than a lunch rush.
“Seven? Then I won’t need to send Nix a message. Why so early?”
“Because I’m not going to sit outside your house until you wake up at ten. If I need to get things started with upping your security, then I need to get on it early. Even a couple hours delay might mean a bigger delay at the other end.”
The silence on Scarlett’s end is deafening, but I hold my breath and don’t give in, although it’s on the tip of my tongue to offer a later time.
“Fine, but don’t expect me to be human.”
“Just answer my questions and let me take a look around. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”
“Whatever. I guess that means no reading for me tonight.”
“Like I would ever believe that,” I mutter.
“True, but I bet feeling tired tomorrow will be worth it. I’m over halfway through a fantastic book.”
I laugh, already having heard this excuse before. She used to always tell me it wasn’t worth it once the morning rolled around. It appears she still hasn’t learned her lesson.
“Let’s see if you feel that way in seven hours.”
She groans, and then she quickly ends the call.
Everything feels extra silent without her voice echoing in my ear, and I miss it immediately.
When a relationship ends, it usually sucks. But, as time goes on, you realize what you miss the most are the little things, the things you took for granted and never expected to lose.
I miss Scarlett, of course, but I miss falling asleep with her reading light on. I miss her zombie look in the mornings before she got coffee and food in her. I miss the way I always heard her voice, her laugh, and breathing in my house, even if we weren’t in the same room. I miss smelling her scent on my pillows, on my clothes when she stole some to lounge in around my place. I miss finding her coins scattered around because she hates carrying them. I miss the spontaneity of Scarlett—never truly knowing what to expect out of her. I miss … I miss everything.
The right thing to take from what happened is to learn from it and move on. But, is there a possibility to learn from it and get back what I lost? Do I even deserve that?
I guess the answer to that lies with Scarlett.
Something tells me that I will have little say in whether I will ever be let back into her life.
Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t going to go the way I want?
Chapter 4
The house is worse than I suspected in the harsh truth of daylight. The front and back door look like a strong wind could knock them down, and the pitiful security chain on the front door is barely hanging on. The windows have no screens, there are no security devices inside or out, and there are so many blind spots that it would be a security company’s nightmare, or perhaps wet dream, given how expensive it would be to get every angle covered.
“How long have you been living here again?” I ask, glancing at the cardboard boxes stacked down the hall.
“A couple months.”
I consider holding off on asking my next question, aware that I didn’t think she would appreciate me asking just last night, but in the context of assessing her security, it doesn’t feel like probing.
“Can I ask why you moved out of your apartment?”
“It held too many memories,” she mutters.
When I quickly glance up at her, she clears her throat and looks me directly in the eyes.
“I needed a cheaper place.”
Her previous words are like a sucker punch to my gut, but I swallow past the emotion and try to stay focused.
“Why?”
She shuffles her feet, wringing her hands in front of her in an uncharacteristic show of nerves. “Wally and I pooled our money together to send Mom and Dad on a cruise. We wanted to get them away from all this, and since the possible threat has come up, it sort of became perfect timing. We didn’t have a lot to spare, so I ended up getting a couple of credit cards. I couldn’t afford the rent as well as the repayments on the cards.”
I wince, knowing Scarlett was always proud of never needing to own a credit card before. She has been a saver since getting her first job. Everything she owns, she saved up for first before buying. The only impulse purchases she makes are for books and food. So, the fact that she applied for several credit cards and is now in debt speaks volumes for how worried she is about this trial and what might happen to her and her family.
“But, this place?” I try not to sound too condescending as I wave my hands around.
“I get it isn’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof over my head.”
I reluctantly nod, biting my tongue on pointing out that there are clearly a few leaks in the roof she is adamantly defending.
“Look, I know you won’t like this, but I think it’s best if you move in with me until the trial is over,” I suggest, not even aware those words were about to come out of my mouth.
What am I thinking? That is a terrible idea!
“What?” Scarlett gasps, dropping her arms to her sides and stilling her feet as she looks to be assessing how sane I am.
I think it over before I answer, needing to talk myself into this before I consider talking her into it. This has heartbreak and stupidity written all over it.
“This house is unmanageable. Setting up a proper alarm system is going to be pricey. I can get it sorted for free if I do it through work, but you don’t want them knowing. That means it’s going to be a huge out-of-pocket cost. And Scarlett”—I size her up, hoping she realizes how deadly serious I am—“this place is shit. Any security unit you get is likely going to cost more than this place is worth. It’s the equivalent of putting an expensive security system on a car that is so shit that no one would go near it with a ten-foot pole.”
Scarlett crosses her arms over her chest. Her expression can only be described as determined. “In that scenario, you’re suggesting no one would come near my house
either.”
“No one probably would, unless they were specifically after you.” I sigh, not in the mood to fight. “Look, if you’re going to insist on wanting to stay here, then I’ll figure something out. I just think, in terms of your safety and saving money, it makes sense to stay elsewhere.”
“And your first suggestion is with you?”
“No. Well, I mean it was, but it doesn’t have to be me.”
“But, if it’s with someone else, then I need to either tell them the truth or lie to them about why I need a place to crash,” she reasons, quickly cottoning on to the complication of this situation.
“Don’t forget that, if someone is watching you, or even planning to harm you, an untrained housemate is a bad choice and could potentially put someone else in harm’s way.”
She narrows her eyes at me, and I’m aware I have just managed to annoy her. I just have no idea why.
“You act like I wouldn’t care if I put you in harm’s way.”
I bite my tongue on suggesting that, just a few days ago, I would have put money on Scarlett not caring one iota about me. I’m still not completely sure she does even now. She still came to me for help, though, which means she must trust me on some level. Even if it is just a little.
“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that this is pretty much my job. I’ll notice immediately if something is out of place at my own house, on my own street. This makes my job easier and you safer. Win, win.”
“I’m not sure.” Scarlett glances down at her feet, her sleepiness still preventing her from hiding the fear and hurt that I am certain she would rather I not see.
“I’m just saying how it is. You came to me, remember? So, now you make a decision, and I will make it work. There is no right or wrong answer, just what feels right to you.”
I bite my tongue, nerves humming through my body and making me want to tap my foot as I wait to hear what she wants to do. I know the smart choice in terms of her safety is to stay with me. I also know that is the worst choice for my heart.
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