He moved his hands to rest on my thighs, his touch so light I wouldn’t have known he was even touching me if I didn’t see his hands on my legs.
“Oh.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“You have to understand, Chloe.” He propped himself up on his elbows so he was closer to me. “For me, the need to claim you is instinctual. It’s a primal need that’s never going to go away. Not until…” He shook his head.
I nodded as if I understood, but I didn’t. There was no way I could ever understand. I wasn’t a vampire with heightened emotions and senses. I had no idea what it was like to be driven by a primal, animalistic instinct.
“So, what’re you saying? That you can’t… that we…” I had no idea what I was trying to say, but I was too exhausted to have this conversation right now.
“I’m saying I want you.” He flipped me onto my back and leaned over me. Brushing hair from my face, he dropped a soft, lingering kiss to my lips. “I want you to give all of yourself to me, but I know you’re not ready, and I’m not going to push.”
“Thank you,” I whispered and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“But I need you to know that sometimes, the urges are unbearable, and there are going to be times when I need you to be patient with me, too. If it seems like I’m pulling away, it’s because I have to, not because I want to.” His gaze was intense but loving.
“Okay,” I said, finally understanding what he was telling me.
“Good.” He smiled. “Now get some sleep. We have a big night ahead of us.”
He settled beside me, and I curled up to his side, my head on his chest. Despite how tired I was, I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was reeling from everything he’d said.
Trent was fighting every instinct he had because he didn’t want to do anything I didn’t want him to. And selfishly, or obliviously maybe, I pushed him to the edge with my kisses and need for affection.
I’d meant it when I told him I wanted him to claim me. Now that I knew what it felt like to be bitten—which hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I thought it would be—all I had to do was face my fear of having sex.
Not that I was afraid, really. I mean, I had no doubts that I would never be with anyone but Trent, so it was a no-brainer that I’d give him my virginity. It was a big step, though, especially when paired with biting and claiming.
Though, I was sure if I asked, Trent would be more than willing to just have sex with me once before he claimed me. I smiled at the thought of that, at how I knew he’d be so gentle and loving and overly concerned with how I felt about the whole thing.
Knowing Trent the way I did, the idea of being that intimate with him wasn’t all that scary. Calmness settled over me, and I snuggled closer to him. Everything was going to be fine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:
A New Day
TRENT’S SURPRISE WAS TO WAKE ME up at the butt crack of dawn—literally—and whisk me to the top of the mountain behind his house. Thankfully, I’d gotten several hours of sleep, so I wasn’t too grumpy when he dragged me out of bed.
We now sat atop the mountain, a light blanket wrapped around us to ward off the slight chill in the air. I was firmly tucked between Trent’s legs, my back to his chest. We sat like that a lot; it must be his favorite. Not that I was complaining. I loved the feel of him behind me, his arms around my stomach, holding me tight.
The sun began its slow ascent into the sky against a backdrop of vibrant oranges and reds. The colors were so bright I almost had to shield my eyes.
“This is my favorite time of the day,” he said, his breath warm against my ear.
“Really?” I twisted around to glance at him. “But you don’t like the sun.”
He grinned, and his dimple appeared. “This isn’t too bad. It’s when the sun is at its peak that it’s the worst.”
“So, why do you like this time of day so much?” I settled back against him.
His hold tightened, and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “It’s peaceful. And the dawn of a new day means new possibilities. Anything can happen.”
“When I was little and I didn’t want to get up for school, my dad would always tell me that every day you wake up is a good day, and that I should make the most of it.”
“He’s right.” Trent kissed my cheek. “Every day you wake up is a great day, especially for me.”
I chuckled. He draped my hair over my shoulder, exposing my neck—the side Jax hadn’t bitten. I noticed Trent had been doing that since he found out what happened. He never went near the side of my neck that Jax had touched. And that was fine with me. The last thing I needed was for Trent to realize the mark wasn’t fading. I really just wanted the stupid thing gone so I could forget it ever happened.
“Have you heard from Isach lately?” I asked.
Trent groaned. “You really want to ruin this moment with talk of Isach?”
“No.” I clasped my hands over Trent’s. “But I’m worried. He just disappeared. God only knows what he’s doing.”
“I’m worried, too, but if he was planning something, it would’ve happened by now. Isach has no patience whatsoever.”
I nodded, and we fell silent. Trent was probably right. Still, I didn’t like not knowing where Isach was or what he was doing. And I needed to find out if he was messing with my mind again. Though, last time he did, he’d always been near me when he made me see things. He hadn’t been around every time when I had fantasies about Jax.
“This view is gorgeous,” I said. “Thank you for waking me up from a perfectly good sleep to come see this.” I gently elbowed him.
He laughed. “You can go to sleep when we get back home if you want.”
I liked to sleep, and I needed it to be able to function, but lately, sleeping seemed like such a waste of time when, in the grand scheme of things, I had so little time with Trent. I wanted to spend every moment I could with him, to experience everything life had to offer.
My mind wandered around to my thoughts from last night. “I know you’re not a virgin, but did you ever consider waiting until marriage?” I asked.
“When I was human, yes. It was a given that I’d wait until marriage. But once I became a vampire… my outlook on things changed.” He nuzzled my neck, and a shiver wiggled down my back. “Why? Is that what you want? To wait until you’re married?”
I shrugged. Mom had never told me I had to wait, but part of me always thought that’s what she wanted me to do. I’d never been in a relationship with anyone I cared about enough for it to be an issue, but now it was. And it was a big issue. Not because Trent was pressuring me, but because I simultaneously wanted to and didn’t want to take this step with him.
I cupped his cheek and inched to the side so I could see his face. “Would you have a problem with that?” I asked.
“As long as I’m the guy you plan to marry, then no.” He flashed me a teasing grin.
“You really think there’s anyone else I’d marry?” I laughed.
“I hope not.” He closed the distance between us and slanted his lips over mine.
He slid his hand along the side of my neck, holding me in place as he deepened the kiss, stealing my breath with every flick of his tongue over mine. I pressed closer, my heart beating wildly as need and desire swirled in my belly.
Much too soon, he released my lips and rested his forehead to mine. “You’ve been hinting around at this a lot lately. Is there something on your mind?” he asked.
I licked my tingling lips. “Yes, but I’m not sure how to tell you without making you mad.”
He lifted his head and held my gaze, his eyes sharp and unflinching. “Well, this isn’t going to be good.” He frowned.
“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “I just… it’s…” I sighed with frustration. “I know you want to claim me, and I want that, too, but I’m scared of what that entails.”
“I know,” he said, a hint of unease in his tone.
“I now know what it fe
els like to be bitten,” I said and held my breath, waiting for his reaction.
He let out a low, throaty growl, but he didn’t say anything.
“But I don’t know what it’s like to have sex, and the idea of you biting me and then doing that… it’s a little overwhelming, so I was thinking if we maybe did it once before you claimed me, it wouldn’t be so scary, y’know, because I’d know what to expect,” I said on a rush of breath.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my face heated with embarrassment. I stood and paced away from Trent. I cannot believe I just told him that. And who says “did it” anymore? Ugh. I’m such an idiot.
I froze at the feel of Trent standing behind me. Slowly, I turned to face him, fully expecting to see amusement or anger or disbelief in his eyes, but all I saw was… hope and understanding.
“Do you have any idea how much it bothers me that you still don’t realize I would do absolutely anything for you?” He placed his hands on my shoulders, then coursed his palms down my arms until he found my hands and laced our fingers.
“I—” Blinking, I snapped my mouth closed. What was I supposed to say to that?
Trent brought my hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “If you want something, Chloe, all you ever have to do is ask.” He tugged me toward him.
I knew that, but asking for sex was all kinds of awkward. And totally un-romantic. Besides, I wasn’t even sure I was ready yet. I was just telling him what had been on mind because he’d asked.
“But I’m not going to do it with you just so you know what to expect. When it finally happens, it will because you’re ready to take our relationship to that level,” he said.
Groaning, I rested my head on his chest. Embarrassment tore through me. I had no idea how I’d ever look at him again.
THE FOLLOWING TWO WEEKS passed uneventfully. Per Aunt Beth’s wishes, we spent the weekdays at home, helping her around the house and preparing for school to start, but the weekends were spent at Whitney’s.
I had a feeling Aunt Beth was getting annoyed that we were spending so much time there, but she hadn’t said anything, and she was the one who allowed us to keep going.
Isach still hadn’t shown his face, and every day he didn’t, I worried more and more that he was going to suddenly show up and ruin my life. But there were also days when I could almost forget about him and Ivy and everything else hanging over my head. Those were the best days, and they were always days I spent with Trent.
We hadn’t had another sex talk—thank God—but it was never too far from my mind. The closer Trent and I got, the readier I felt, but there was still something holding me back, something I couldn’t pinpoint.
“Hey, got a sec?” Abby walked into my room.
I sat up on my bed. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Want to go school clothes shopping this weekend? I already talked to Mom, and she’s cool with it.” Abby plopped down in my desk chair.
“I can’t believe school starts on Monday.” I stood and stretched. “But yeah, shopping sounds fun. Want to invite Whitney?”
“Definitely.” Abby grinned. “I’m going to ask Ellie, too.”
“Cool.”
Dad still hadn’t sent me any money, so I had no idea how I was supposed to buy new clothes. And every time I called him to ask, I got his voicemail. Talk about frustrating.
“Okay, I’m gonna go text Whitney and Ellie.” And then Abby was out of my room as fast as she’d appeared.
Shaking my head, I grabbed my phone, intent on calling my father again, but I got a new text message before I could.
Trent: ISACH’S BACK.
My heart stopped. I reread the message a dozen times, praying I was seeing things, but the words didn’t change or go away. With a trembling hand, I called Trent.
“Why on earth would you send me that in a text and not explain?” I said as soon as he answered.
“Sorry.” He sighed. “Isach showed up at the front door about an hour ago. Demanded to know if you were still human.”
My stomach twisted.
“We all assured him you were still human, and then he said he’d be in school on Monday to make sure.”
“Of course,” I mumbled. “Did he say where he’s been?” I wandered toward my window and peeked outside, half expecting to find Isach lurking in the woods.
“He’s been tracking Ivy. Her coven is on the move, and he wanted to know where they were headed,” Trent said. He sounded much too calm considering the circumstances.
Fear coursed through my veins, but I was too numb to move or speak. Ivy’s coven was on the move, which meant they were probably headed here. I was not going to be her prisoner again. I couldn’t.
At least I had Isach watching me now—he’d never let Ivy take me. I almost laughed at how I was now glad to have Isach stalking me.
“Chloe?” Trent said, his voice concerned.
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry.” I rubbed my forehead, willing the impending headache to stay away. “So, where’s Isach now?”
“Here,” Trent grumbled, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up.
“Got another new roommate, huh?”
“Really not funny, Chloe.” But there was a trace of humor in his tone. “Any chance your aunt will let you stay at Whitney’s tonight?”
I sighed. “No, we already tried that.” I flopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
We talked for another few minutes before Abby barged into my room again. I ended the call with Trent, promising to text him later, and then focused all of my attention on Abby in an effort to forget everything Trent had told me.
Tomorrow was a new day with new possibilities.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:
Life Skills
I SCOWLED AT MY REFLECTION IN the mirror, anger burning hot in my chest. The bite marks still hadn’t faded. Why wouldn’t they just go away already? I wanted to scrub them away, make them disappear even if that meant I had to remove my skin to do so.
“There are other people waiting for the bathroom,” Abby said from the hall.
Yanking my hair over my neck, I jerked open the door. “Sorry,” I grumbled.
“It’s okay. I don’t really need to use the bathroom.” She laughed. “I just wanted you to hurry up so we can get to school.”
“Seriously?” I raised a brow.
The school was literally five minutes away, and classes didn’t start for another thirty minutes. We had plenty of time, so why was she rushing?
“I want to get there early and see everyone.” She headed downstairs, a noticeable bounce in her step.
I followed, my steps much slower and heavier. Yawning, I entered the kitchen to find Aunt Beth filling a plate with pancakes.
“Hope you’re hungry,” she said with a blinding smile.
Not really, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I took a plate of food, smiled, then joined Abby at the dining room table. We were silent as we ate.
I couldn’t believe school was starting today. At least this time when I went, I’d know people, which made the whole thing a lot less intimidating.
After eating and cleaning up, Abby and I left. She cranked the radio, making it impossible to get any peace. When she pulled into the student parking lot, it was nearly full, and she had to loop around to find an empty spot.
And then we were filing into the building with everyone else. The halls were a cacophony of excited voices and laughter; friends who hadn’t seen each other all summer greeted one another, lockers slammed open and closed.
Class schedules had been mailed to all students last week. Aunt Beth hadn’t un-enrolled me because she knew I was planning to come back, so I’d gotten one just like Abby had. Locker assignments had been included, too, though Abby assured me we’d have the same lockers as last year.
I pulled my schedule from my pocket, taking a look at it for the first time. “Life skills?” I said, staring at my first period class.
“Yeah, it’s a class
all seniors have to take. Don’t worry. It’s super easy.” Abby glanced over at my schedule and scrunched up her face. “You have the first session. I’m in session two. That sucks.”
“Chloe!”
I turned at the sound of my voice to find Ellie, Gina, and Tonya rushing toward me. Shoving my schedule back into my pocket, I grinned and welcomed their group hug. Though I’d already seen Ellie and Gina, this was the first time I’d seen Tonya since returning.
Tonya hugged me the tightest. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she said.
“Me too.” I laughed.
“Ladies. Let’s not block the entire hallway.” Mr. Patterson ushered us out of the way. He’d been my history teacher last year. “And let’s not be late on the first day, hmm?” He raised a brow, then walked away.
“I forgot how awesome this place was,” Gina said sarcastically, and we all laughed.
“Okay, I need to make sure my locker is still in the same place.” Tonya hitched her bag higher on her shoulder. “See ya.” She waved and disappeared into the crowd.
“Me too,” I said, saying a quick goodbye and heading down the hall.
Sure enough, my locker was exactly where I’d left it. I tested the combination, and the door swung open easily. The very first time I’d done that, I ended up punching Trent in the face. I hadn’t known it at the time, but that was the exact moment my life changed. I giggled at the memory.
“What’s so funny?” His voice, deep and smooth as velvet, sent a thrill down my back.
I whirled around and flung my arms around Trent’s neck. His lips landed on mine, and he gave me a kiss that, had any teachers seen, would have probably landed both of us in detention.
“Not quite as good as waking up next to you,” he said, releasing me, “but it’s close.”
“I thought this was going to be fun.” Whitney leaned against a locker and pouted. “All these thoughts…”
“Stop listening to them,” I said, closing my locker.
“It’s not that easy, not when there are this many.” Whitney glanced around. “I’m going to be a high school dropout. I know it.”
Eternal Bond : (The Cursed Series, Book 3) Page 17
