by Thomas Green
“Can’t let go of your past, can you?”
“Yes.” Nashimaeal’s eyes turned unfocused as if peering into the events of his youth. “I had believed we had hunted his kind down to the last. When I see he, the original reason for my hunt, is still alive, I cannot help myself but be excited by the opportunity to finish what I had started.”
Lucas shook his head and soulstepped away. This went worse than he expected.
26
Luna
Luna returned to her cell. She slid out of her blood-drenched clothes and dove into a water-filled barrel. At least Raven isn’t here. As her body relaxed, her mind finally calmed down. What have I done?
All her insides froze. Her heart sunk into her stomach, barely beating. I killed children… innocent children.
‘Not our first time,’ the beast whispered into her mind.
Not your first time… I’ve only ever done that because you forced me.
‘Of course.’
The emptiness spread through her, gnawing at her soul. I’ve been lying to myself, haven’t I?
‘No.’
Thank you… I know you are lying but thank you.
‘I’m telling the truth.’
You aren’t. It wasn’t that he was the beast and she a little girl who was his victim. There was no innocent girl between them. They were one person, one heartless monster.
‘Nonsense, we are still two souls chained within a body.’
Luna shook her head. That wasn’t what she meant. So far, all the innocents who died because of her were either a consequence of her hunger or collateral damage. She kept telling herself it wasn’t her fault. But this one was. Lawland’s family didn’t have to die. But she chose to kill it to improve her standing with the Order. They died for her selfish reasons, not as victims of her starving beast. Horrified at who she had become, she flicked her hand, and the thin black longsword appeared. Luna turned it around, putting the blade to her throat. I can’t even end myself, can I?
‘No. I won’t let you.’
I don’t think I can live with this.
‘You will have to. Look, maybe Lucas’ spirit wielder can make things better.’
I am unworthy of that. Nothing could change what she had done. She knew. And Lucas was likely to kill her after the tournament since nothing would be stopping him from ending her once she lost her use to him.
The beast huffed. ‘It’s not that bad. You have done five missions for him already, all successfully. You are valuable so he won’t kill you, and I would bet this is the reason he offered the spirit wielder’s assistance.’
What if I don’t want to live like this? I murder people for my own benefit, hoping there’s a greater cause hiding behind what Lucas makes me do. Luna made the black sword disappear. What if there isn’t?
The beast withdrew as it had no answer.
Luna got up from the barrel, washed her armor, stitched the holes within and dressed. Nothing changed. Her soul remained wreathed in emptiness, endless and unrelenting. She took a deep breath and roared.
All her anger, hatred, and sadness exploded inside her. They tore apart her veins, shattered her organs, blinded her mind. Luna charged at the bed, pushing it to the wall before her shoulder smashed through the frame. As her fingers prolonged into vicious claws, she slashed around in a frenzy, filling the air with feathers released from the torn duvets.
Minutes later, the room was but a mess of splinters, torn cloth, and feathers. The sadness won the fight. The sadness of who she had become, of how her dreams of starting a normal life after the tournament were just that, naïve dreams of a young girl. No adventuring group would ever let her join. No one would ever employ her. There was no place for her in this world, no companion to find, no hope to live for. She realized what awaited her was nothing but the suffering and death a monster like her was sure to eventually get. The end she deserved.
Luna sagged down by the wall and exploded into tears. Between the sobs, she reached under her tunic to pull out her pouch of toxins. The beast tried to stop her by overtaking her body. She won the fight, not letting it in. Without looking at the contents, Luna opened the pouch, put it above her mouth and turned it over. She swallowed everything that fell out and soon lost consciousness.
***
Thick, red veil covered Luna’s eyes. Her head was spinning while her body felt weak and heavy. She lay still until her vision became blurry before she looked around. The blood was everywhere. Among the carnage of flesh and bones sat bunches of white wool, scattered like clouds above a crimson sea.
Luna tried to speak, but only an incoherent noise came out of her mouth. She attempted to stand up, but her legs were too weak to raise her, so she flailed instead. Where am I?
She relaxed and waited for her body to recover. What was this place? The walls and ceiling were wooden but painted white. She saw no furniture or anything other than blood, bones, and wool. What happened? Did I die?
An eternity later, she forced her arm to move, and it obeyed. Alright, Luna, time to get up!
She gritted her teeth and clawed her way to her feet. Her world spun, sending her crashing back onto the ground. Luna waited a few minutes before trying again.
This time, she withstood the world’s spin. She made a wobbly step forward. Her balance shifted, causing her to stagger sideways. She crashed into a wall. Luna grabbed the wood not to fall again. What a mess! The blood, bones, and wool covered the entire room.
Luna scanned the carnage until she saw a skull, one of a sheep. Sheep, not innocent children… a good start. Her heart almost stopped as she remembered. The memory felt distant as if Cinderwell happened far in the past. Yet the emptiness still lay within her, holding each of her organs in its icy grip.
Luna gave herself a few minutes before she tried to move by the wall. She dragged herself toward the only door she saw. It was wooden, decorated with silver and bore a symbol of the sun, the symbol of the God of Life and Death, the symbol of Alnil.
By the door, her foot kicked something hard. Luna focused and saw a twisted claw of a torn, scaly hand. That’s from a demon. Is that why I am not hungry?
As she pushed her weight against the door, the wing swung outward. Luna held herself, in vain. Her muscles gave out halfway through, sending her crashing to the grass-covered ground.
Everything stood green and fresh. There’s no grass in Cinderwell! Where am I? Luna turned her head, gazing at the lush trees towering around her.
Luna dragged herself toward a tree and leaned onto its trunk. Everything was peaceful as the air carried only the chirping of birds and buzzing of insects. This was what she always imagined heaven would look like, which meant she hadn’t died because she certainly would go to hell. Luna sat by the chestnut tree for a long time, allowing the peace of the nature to calm her soul.
Hours later, steps echoed from a distance, heading toward her. Luna dismissed the thought of trying to move and waited.
From behind the trunk came Raven with Nibbles sitting on his shoulder. Dirt stained his snow white armor, yet his face was but an image of unimaginable beauty.
He smiled. “You’re awake, good.”
Luna focused, using all her strength to speak. “Hey.”
Light shimmered around Raven’s face as it turned to normal. He sagged down by the chestnut tree, straight next to Luna.
Luna forced out a smile. “Where are we?”
“In Xona.”
Say… what? Xona is three weeks of travel away from Cinderwell. For how long was I unconscious? “How?”
Raven laughed. “Long story.”
She smiled. “I’ve got time.”
“Found you in our cell, unconscious but breathing, with a barrel of demon blood next to you. Kept you alive by pouring the blood into your mouth, which gave you aether to keep you alive. Figured you would need to eat once you woke up. So, I needed a place. I searched for something abandoned but found nothing. Asked how to buy something. They sent me to the Bank of Xona, there
they saw I have an account on my name with a lot of gold. They helped me find a place to purchase for that money, and it was enough for this one. Dropped you off here, got sheep and demons to feed you and have been practicing while waiting for you to wake up.”
The gold was from Jean Pierre, so the brand he made from us is selling well. That means I’m rich. Luna grinned, but her smile soon froze as the introspection forced her to remember the farmers, Addie, and Lawland’s children. Emptiness took over her bowels, making her voice ring hollow. “Wait a minute, how did you know to feed me demons? How did you get them?”
“In the arena. Tore apart one of the slaver teams and brought the demons I crippled.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “Stop avoiding the question. What made you think you needed to keep the demons alive?”
He looked at her as if he was stating the most obvious thing in the world. “Your two souls need more aether than your body gets from the air. So I figured you must eat either humans or demons, as alive as possible, and went for the demons.”
Luna’s mouth gaped. “This is James-level understanding of aether… you are worlds apart stronger than you show, aren’t you?”
Raven's face twisted into a faint smile. “Yes.”
Luna shook her head. “Anyway, what is this place?”
“A temple of Alnil.”
“You bought a… temple?”
Raven smiled. “Priests owed the bank a lot of money and let me buy them out when I agreed I would allow them to keep using it in exchange for them taking care of it.”
“Why a temple?”
“Liked the garden plus it’s close to the arena. And the priests seemed nice.”
Luna shook her head. “I see you still have shackles. Weren’t the irons supposed to fry you if you leave the arena without permission? How did you get away from Stallington?”
“They need about an hour to adjust to a new arena. Left before that happened.”
“Why doesn’t Stallington knock you out himself then?”
“Can’t do that unless he’s close. Up to forty-eight feet is my rough estimate.”
The preciseness of his estimate did not surprise Luna in the slightest. “So… why are you here? You can have them removed by a blacksmith and be free.”
“Yea… guess I could do that when I think about it.”
“You sound like you aren’t going to.”
“I’m not.”
She narrowed her eyes, scanning him with her gaze. He didn’t need a blacksmith to remove the shackles. There was no way someone this skilled with aether couldn’t get himself out of iron binds. After all, he was continually using aether to mask his real face. Typically, that would be an act costing too much aether if used for mere dozens of minutes. Yet he kept the look for hours without being disturbed by the aether consumption. As she realized, she started feeling like an ant staring at a dragon. “Why? Haven’t you spent your whole life dreaming of freedom?”
“Come.” He rose, helped her to her feet and half-carried her to the roof of the temple, granting them the view of the unimaginable size of Xona. He sat down by the edge made of ivory, placing Luna next to him. “World’s a lot bigger than I had thought. Don’t think I’m ready to face it.”
She stretched her neck, giving herself a moment to consider her words. He was lost in the vastness of the world he didn’t understand, much like she was. Perhaps he could help her solve her problem. “That’s not a reason.”
He sighed. “Always thought there was nothing outside the arena I would desire. Am not so sure now, but I also want to see the rest of Jonathan’s plan with me.”
She frowned. “His plan with you?”
“You said prince was once a title signifying military strength. Think he’s been preparing me to pass it to me.” He shrugged. “Don’t think I’m ready for that either.”
Luna smiled. “Don’t you have something you want to do in life?”
“Like what?”
“Explore the world, become famous, get rich, start a family? What about this Yvonne girl, don’t you desire her?”
Raven shook his head. “Love her voice… but that’s all.”
“What about Samantha?”
“Dunno… she’s between an older sister and the only girlfriend I have never had plus I enjoy her aether when she heals me…”
“But nothing more, nothing sexual. You are not a human, are you?”
Raven’s eyes widened. “What else would I be?”
“I don’t know, but when I think about it, I never had the thought of eating you. That means you aren’t something I would eat, which is humans, animals, and demons.”
“Is there anything else?”
Wolfie, you know, don’t you?
‘No, but I’m also not suicidal enough to try to eat him.’
Luna shrugged, disappointed. “Still, you are famous so you could live as a mercenary.”
His expression darkened. “Refuse to kill for gold.”
“What do you kill for now?”
“Jonathan. It’s never been about chains with him. Gave me home, purpose, had me educated and trained. I kill in his name, for him.”
Luna understood. A purpose was the one thing she never had and envied him from the bottom of her heart. She had yet to find hers while the pile of corpses of innocent people, of lives that vanished because of her, kept growing ever so taller. She couldn’t bear the topic anymore as she was far beyond the line he had been refusing to cross. “Anyway, when’s our match?”
“Three days from now. Which reminds me, you got a letter.” Raven reached into his armor to pull a sealed envelope.
Her heart sunk when she saw the symbol of a sword with wings, the symbol of Palai, on the seal. She tore open the paper to peer at the sheet hidden within. The message read:
‘Your next mission is Salazar’s party. Agent Cobra will meet you at the palace gates at dusk and relay further instructions. Do not be late.
L.’
Luna’s heart stopped. Cobra is an assassin so famous even I have heard about her! Her breath became shallow, and her sweat turned ice cold. Am I to murder someone at Salazar’s party? That’s suicide! But not doing Lucas’ mission is also a suicide. What do I do?
Raven raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
“I will die.”
He arched an eyebrow. His confused face did not help her the slightest. She swallowed before she said, “I have been… working for the Order. And by working, I mean killing people. There’s no way I can survive murdering someone at Salazar’s event.”
He looked as if he wondered if he shouldn’t care. As he apparently found no reason to, Raven shook his head. “Don’t think you’ll have to kill anyone.”
“I am to meet their most famous assassin, so I will definitely have to kill someone in there. The only thing that can save me is if the party happened three days ago.”
“It’s tomorrow.”
Luna’s mouth gaped open. “How do you know?”
“Got invited.”
“How?”
Raven smiled. “Met Salazar back in Cinderwell. I stopped him from getting a read on me, so he invited me to his party to get an extra chance.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s a… read?”
“The technique where you stretch out your aether and try to pass it through the other person to see how dense their aether is.”
Luna gaped. “You can do that?”
“Thought everyone could since I’ve met many people who had tried it on me.”
“I can’t stretch my aether out of myself at all!” She slumped her shoulders, gazing down at her feet. “I’m so talentless it hurts, aren’t I?”
Raven scratched the back of his neck, apparently searching for some better words than what Luna knew to be the truth. As if he chose to lie for the first time in his life, he said, “guess the spirit limits you.”
The worst lie ever. She needed no one to tell her that when it came to strength and skill, the beast wasn�
�t the problem between the two of them. She was. Yet Raven’s effort to cheer her up conjured a faint smile on her lips. “Anyway… you don’t look like you are going to the party.”
Raven forced out a laugh. “Of course not. I have seen him use his aether while he hasn’t seen me use mine, so I will avoid him until our match in Redwall and sit out our next fight on the bench.”
“What’s your plan for Salazar?”
“Not much. I throw a javelin at him, charge and cut him in half the second the match starts.”
Luna shook her head. “That’s awfully straightforward… you’re not sure you can win a long fight, right?”
Raven sighed. “Am sure I will lose any fight against Salazar that takes longer than ten seconds, especially if I don’t wound him first.”
“Is there any way I can help?”
“Yes. I will need you and the Reavers to deal with the rest of his team. I won’t have any strength to spare on anyone other than Salazar.”
She knew this task was too much for her. Yet she did her best to sound confident, ignoring the emptiness spreading through her.. “You can count on me.”
She spent the remainder of the day and the entire night in the garden. Upon the next dawn, Luna headed out to the city.
***
From the streets, Xona was even larger than it looked from the temple’s roof. The blend of wooden houses and trees sprawled from one horizon to another in every direction. The first villa of marble she encountered amazed her. An hour later, she passed the twentieth villa of marble without sparing an extra glance. Everything was straight cut, polished, perfect. The roads were crowded, but not as much as in Grimdawn.
Luna spent hours wandering the city, enjoying the scents of all the stores and workshops that lined the streets before she stumbled upon the Bank of Xona. The clerk looked surprised, possibly due to this being her first time at a bank. Or because she stank like a slaughterhouse. She figured she would never know. Yet the amount of money Jean Pierre had deposited onto her account pleased her. With a full pouch by her belt, Luna headed toward the market district.
